If you’re going to be a fictional leading man, it’s all but required for you to be exceptionally brooding. You think you can get away with acting mildly sullen or periodically whiny? No! You need to BROOD, my inconsolable friend! You need to brood more passionately and more pathetically than any of the Byronic hero-orphans who came before you—else how are you to score a suitable bride and live out your days in the moorlands?
To that end, here are some of the broodiest characters in literature, ranked by the only metric that matters: utter broodiness.