Honest Names for All the Books on Your English Syllabus

Very rarely does a novel’s title give you any indication of what you’re getting yourself into. For instance, Beowulf sounds like it’s about a wolf (spoiler alert: it’s not). And if you’d asked me before I read it, I would have said Animal Farm was an idyllic barnyard tale, possibly a kids’ book with hardly any Stalinism.

In my tireless crusade to explain classic novels using minimal effort, I’ve decided to try my hand at coming up with honest names for all the books you’ll have to read in English class. This way you’ll at least have SOME IDEA of the journey that lies before you.