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How to Ask Someone Out on a Date, According to Shakespeare

You know what’s ridiculous? What’s ridiculous is that we’re still doing things like ASKING PEOPLE OUT ON DATES instead of JUST MAKING EYE CONTACT AND WORDLESSLY AGREEING THERE’S A MUTUAL INTEREST. How am I supposed to get my mouth to make the appropriate words? What if I open my mouth and nothing comes out? What if something DOES come out but it’s just a long, protracted scream? What then?

For those similarly afflicted, look no further than Shakespeare’s entire body of work. If you’re asking someone out, and your mouth goes dry and your brain blank, try:

1. “Will you dine with me to-morrow?”

2. “What say you to Thursday?”

3. “I prithee, let me bring thee where crabs grow; and I with my long nails will dig thee pignuts.”

4. “Sir, I entreat you home with me to dinner.”

5. “If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse.”

6. “I love you well; I’ll give you gold.”

7. “To-night we hold a solemn supper sir, and I’ll request your presence.”

8. “Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner.”

9. [Throws a stone at him]

10. “Grant me the combat, gracious sovereign.”

11. “Will you sup with me to-night, Casca?”

12. “I prithee, pretty youth, let me be better acquainted with thee.”

13. “If you deny me, fie upon your law!”

14. “Fear no colours; go with me to dinner.”

15. “The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships’ company.”

16. “What answer makes your grace unto my suit?”

17. “What sayest thou? speak suddenly; be brief.”

18. “Ha, ha! what sayest thou?”

19. “I beseech you, grant me this boon.”

20. “Dost grant me, hedgehog?”

21. “I beseech you next to feast with me and see me at my tent.”

22. “I like thee well: wilt thou forsake thy fortune, bequeath thy land to him and follow me?”

23. “I prithee, and I’ll pay thee bounteously.”

24. “With all my heart, and think me honoured to feast so great a warrior in my house.”

25. [Trumpet sounds]

Looking for more Shakespeare Out of Context? Try Shakespeare Quotes for When Your Relatives Ask What You’re Doing with Your Life and 30 Shakespeare Quotes That Would Make Conversation Starters.