Janis Ian Is My High School Hero
“Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt personally been victimized by Regina George.” NOW, raise your hand if you have seen Mean Girls the requisite 537 times for a girl currently alive between the ages of 13 and 46. THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT.
Mean Girls is required viewing in the instructional library of life as a teenager. It teaches you that Lindsay Lohan was not always a gun-toting nun/vigilante. It teaches you that Tina Fey will always be the coolest person in the world, and one of your most realistic and wonderful role models. AND, most importantly, it teaches you that “fetch” is never, ever going to happen. But on top of all those essential lessons, Mean Girls also contains a shining beacon of hope in the dark abyss that is grades nine through twelve—Janis Ian. Janis may have her hair clip issues, but she is the best friend we all wanted, and the girl that we all wished we could have been a bit more like in high school. And because I’M LIKE IN LOVE WITH HER, I’ve just gotta tell you all the ways Janis Ian is the most epic human to ever wear a purple tux (okay, it’s a tie with Damian).
Janis knows who she is WHILE she’s still in high school (SAY WHAT?)
To me, this seems like a miracle akin to Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Pratt, and Chris Pineall fighting over who gets to buy me mozzarella sticks. In high school, I barely resembled a normal, functioning human, let alone someone who was comfortable in my own skin. Janis dresses the way she wants (and you’ll never hear her complaining about wanting to lose three pounds), says what she wants (AKA doesn’t take shit from anyone), and doesn’t give a Sweet-Poe-Dameron-tato about what anyone thinks about her.
Her best friend is Damian. That is all.
The man who brought us “You go, Glenn Coco!” is one of the most perfect high schoolers of all time. As the only gay characters in the film, he’s unapologetically himself. He never hesitates to express his opinion or revel in his passions (he IS beautiful). Most likely, Janis and Damian are friends because they share this ability to stay true to themselves in spite of all the crap that comes with high school. As a duo, they’re basically the greatest people you will ever meet.
She befriends the new kid, just because
Janis didn’t have to tell Cady not to sit behind the kid who farts a lot. She didn’t have to invite her to lunch the next day. She didn’t have to talk to the new kid at all. But, she did. Being someone who takes the time to look outside their own bubble in high school is actually a huge deal. Janis saw someone in need of a lifeline, and she threw one without hesitation.
She calls out people on their nonsense
Janis is one of the only people who doesn’t worship Regina George. She knows about her cruelty firsthand, and isn’t enamored with her like the rest of the school. Janis doesn’t care about Regina’s fabulous lifestyle or what she owns or who she dates. Janis judges people solely on their actions and personalities—quite a feat in high school. And, even after she lets Cady know how terrible she’s been, Janis is also able to forgive people for their mistakes.
Excellent planning skills
Girl knows how to overthrow a dictator: cut off her resources. With a mind like that, someone should probably put her in the white house.
Could the world handle how cool Janis Ian would be in college? Would Janis and Damian totally kill at hosting a late night talk show? Who was your favorite character in Mean Girls?
