The Lord of the Flies Test

All right everyone, clear your desks. Don’t look at me like that, you knew this was coming.

I’ve been lecturing about tropical werewolves and mankind’s inherent evil for weeks now—not because I like hearing the sound of my own voice, which is like the languid, oozing drawl of Alan Rickman combined with the alarming chortle of Jeff Goldblum, but because I want you people to leave my class better than you came. I want you to be able to take on the world and know an impending societal breakdown when you see one. I want you to know how to build a fire and how NOT to wind up being torn apart by a mob of feral children. Does this seem like a reasonable and realistic goal? Yeah? You’re with me? Good.

Now, let’s see what you’ve managed to learn after schlepping through 300 pages of conflict and miscommunication and wildly unsupervised toddler pyromania.

This is not an open-book test. But if you need to go back and read the part where Ralph suggested not pooping on the food and everyone else unanimously just said “Nah,” please feel free to do so before you commence quizzing.

Take The Quiz