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What Your Favorite Horror Novel Says About You

Anyone who LOVES horror—just can’t get enough of it—has probably wondered if there’s something wrong with them because they enjoy such a gruesome genre, and the answer is yes. You’re weird and almost definitely a sociopath. I’m kidding. You’re fine! Being a horror fan doesn’t say anything about you in particular, other than you like scary stories a little bit more than the average person.

Your favorite horror novel, however? Well, that says a LOT. For instance…

Carrie by Stephen King
One time in high school someone made fun of you for something relatively minor, and you still think about it to this day.

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
You take one really good selfie every couple of years and then use it for everything.

It by Stephen King
Your greatest fears are spiders, dying unexpectedly in your sleep, and having the Applebee’s wait staff sing to you on your birthday.

We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson
Your idea of self-care is staying home a lot and becoming the town pariah.

Pet Sematary by Stephen King
You have a cat that you love more than life itself. In return, your cat acts as if it doesn’t care whether you live or die.

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
You enjoy taking naps when you should be doing other things, you never respond to messages in a timely fashion, and you recognize that you are often the cause of your own suffering but refuse to do anything about this.

Hell House by Richard Matheson
You’ve received a palm reading or two in your time. The results were surprisingly accurate.

The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
You have a strained relationship with your parents.

The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris
You love warm cinnamon sugar donuts and you’re still hoping Bryan Fuller can swing a deal with Netflix or Hulu to bring back Hannibal.

Coraline by Neil Gaiman
You read horror movie summaries on Wikipedia because you’re too scared to watch the actual films.

The Amityville Horror by Jay Anson
You go through the five stages of dying every time you hear a creepy noise at night.

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson
When you do something unpleasant or out of character, you explain it away by shrugging and saying, “Well, it’s Scorpio season.”

Dracula by Bram Stoker
You stay up way too late on school nights and don’t feel any special sort of way about garlic bread. Honestly, you could take it or leave it.

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson
You don’t believe in ghosts, necessarily, but you don’t not believe in them, either. Just in case.

The Shining by Stephen King
You have some inner demons, such as your obsession with The Bachelor and your tendency to leave cups in your room.

Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury
You have absolutely no problem going on the pirate ship ride at amusement parks. You’re able to enjoy yourself and ignore the fact that it’s being operated by a guy in his early twenties who isn’t paying attention.

American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
You pretend your favorite podcast is “Welcome to Night Vale” or “Pod Save America” but it’s actually one of those podcasts where they talk about murder for an hour and a half broken up by HelloFresh ads.

Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin
Your primary source of income for many years was babysitting, and you wasted half your life trying to get the kids into bed.

The Island of Doctor Moreau by H.G. Wells
You like to get “experimental” in the kitchen before simply washing your hands of the whole affair and ordering pizza.

Misery by Stephen King
Your goal is to become a published author so prolific that people write fanfiction about characters you had no intention of putting together.

Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice
You could give a TED Talk about all the toxic relationships you’ve been in.

Christine by Stephen King
Whenever someone honks their horn, you assume this is directed at you and become appropriately abashed. This holds true even if you aren’t driving.