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Tom has difficulty aligning his own desires with others’ expectations for him, and thus continually disappoints or alienates the people who love him. As a young man, he pleases his father by volunteering for National Service, only to disappoint him by registering for the Catering Corps. Later, his attraction to Patrick puts him at odds with societal expectations. Recognizing that marriage to a woman is necessary for advancement in his career with the police, he proposes to Marion, but despite her eagerness to marry him, he is unable to be the husband she wants him to be, showing little interest in physical or emotional intimacy with her. Ultimately, Tom also fails to be the lover that Patrick wants. While they have great physical passion for each other, after Patrick’s trial, Tom cuts off all contact with him for decades, even avoiding being in his presence after Marion brings Patrick into their home following his stroke. Throughout the novel, Tom’s sense of self-containment prevents him from connecting fully to others.
Tom’s love of swimming demonstrates the extent to which he seems to inhabit a different world than those closest to him. He takes great pride in his swimming, telling Patrick that the secret to being a good swimmer is to love the water. When Tom gives Marion swimming lessons, he is calm and commanding, surprising her with his professionalism and ease. He is at home in the water, while Marion is nervous and awkward. No matter what is going on in his life, Tom maintains his daily habit of swimming, taking to the water even when he’s badly needed at home. Throughout the book, he holds himself separate from others emotionally, even from his wife and his lover. Unphased by the roughness of the sea, at home in the cold water and among the sharp rocks underfoot, Tom seems happiest when he is inhabiting a space that is distant from those he claims to love.
