No Fear Shakespeare: As You Like It: Act 5 Scene 1

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Original Text	Modern Text
Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY	Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY
TOUCHSTONE We shall find a time, Audrey. Patience, gentle Audrey.	TOUCHSTONE We shall find a time, Audrey. Patience, gentle Audrey.
AUDREY Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old gentleman’s saying.	AUDREY Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old gentleman’s saying.
TOUCHSTONE A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile Martext. But, Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest lays claim to you.	TOUCHSTONE A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile Martext. But, Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest lays claim to you.
AUDREY Ay, I know who ’tis. He hath no interest in me in the world.	AUDREY Ay, I know who ’tis. He hath no interest in me in the world.
Enter WILLIAM	Enter WILLIAM
Here comes the man you mean.	Here comes the man you mean.
TOUCHSTONE It is meat and drink to me to see a clown. By my troth, we that have good wits have much to answer for. We shall be flouting. We cannot hold.	TOUCHSTONE It is meat and drink to me to see a clown. By my troth, we that have good wits have much to answer for. We shall be flouting. We cannot hold.
WILLIAM Good ev'n, Audrey.	WILLIAM Good ev'n, Audrey.
AUDREY God gi' good ev'n, William.	AUDREY God gi' good ev'n, William.
WILLIAM And good ev'n to you, sir.	WILLIAM And good ev'n to you, sir.
TOUCHSTONE 15 Good ev'n, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy head. Nay, prithee, be covered. How old are you, friend?	TOUCHSTONE Good ev'n, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy head. Nay, prithee, be covered. How old are you, friend?
WILLIAM Five-and-twenty, sir.	WILLIAM Five-and-twenty, sir.
TOUCHSTONE A ripe age. Is thy name William?	TOUCHSTONE A ripe age. Is thy name William?
WILLIAM William, sir.	WILLIAM William, sir.
TOUCHSTONE 20 A fair name. Wast born i' th' forest here?	TOUCHSTONE A fair name. Wast born i' th' forest here?
WILLIAM Ay, sir, I thank God.	WILLIAM Ay, sir, I thank God.
TOUCHSTONE “Thank God.” A good answer. Art rich?	TOUCHSTONE “Thank God.” A good answer. Art rich?
WILLIAM 'Faith, sir, so-so.	WILLIAM 'Faith, sir, so-so.
TOUCHSTONE “So-so” is good, very good, very excellent good. And yet it is not: it is but so-so. Art thou wise?	TOUCHSTONE “So-so” is good, very good, very excellent good. And yet it is not: it is but so-so. Art thou wise?
WILLIAM Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.	WILLIAM Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.
TOUCHSTONE Why, thou sayst well. I do now remember a saying: “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth, meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat and lips to open. You do love this maid?	TOUCHSTONE Why, thou sayst well. I do now remember a saying: “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth, meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat and lips to open. You do love this maid?
WILLIAM I do, sir.	WILLIAM I do, sir.
TOUCHSTONE Give me your hand. Art thou learned?	TOUCHSTONE Give me your hand. Art thou learned?
WILLIAM 35 No, sir.	WILLIAM No, sir.
TOUCHSTONE Then learn this of me: to have is to have. For it is a figure in rhetoric that drink, being poured out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty the other. For all your writers do consent that ipse is “he.” Now, you are not ipse, for I am he.	TOUCHSTONE Then learn this of me: to have is to have. For it is a figure in rhetoric that drink, being poured out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty the other. For all your writers do consent that ipse is “he.” Now, you are not ipse, for I am he.
WILLIAM Which he, sir?	WILLIAM Which he, sir?
TOUCHSTONE He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you clown, abandon—which is, in the vulgar, “leave”—the society—which in the boorish is “company”—of this female—which in the common is “woman”; which together is, abandon the society of this female, or, clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; or, to wit, I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage. I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel. I will bandy with thee in faction. I will o'errun thee with policy. I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways. Therefore tremble and depart.	TOUCHSTONE He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you clown, abandon—which is, in the vulgar, “leave”—the society—which in the boorish is “company”—of this female—which in the common is “woman”; which together is, abandon the society of this female, or, clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; or, to wit, I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage. I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel. I will bandy with thee in faction. I will o'errun thee with policy. I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways. Therefore tremble and depart.
AUDREY Do, good William.	AUDREY Do, good William.
WILLIAM God rest you merry, sir.	WILLIAM God rest you merry, sir.
Exit	Exit
Enter CORIN	Enter CORIN
CORIN 55 Our master and mistress seeks you. Come away, away.	CORIN Our master and mistress seeks you. Come away, away.
TOUCHSTONE Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey.—I attend, I attend.	TOUCHSTONE Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey.—I attend, I attend.
Exeunt	Exeunt

Original Text	Modern Text
Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY	Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY
TOUCHSTONE We shall find a time, Audrey. Patience, gentle Audrey.	TOUCHSTONE We shall find a time, Audrey. Patience, gentle Audrey.
AUDREY Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old gentleman’s saying.	AUDREY Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old gentleman’s saying.
TOUCHSTONE A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile Martext. But, Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest lays claim to you.	TOUCHSTONE A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile Martext. But, Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest lays claim to you.
AUDREY Ay, I know who ’tis. He hath no interest in me in the world.	AUDREY Ay, I know who ’tis. He hath no interest in me in the world.
Enter WILLIAM	Enter WILLIAM
Here comes the man you mean.	Here comes the man you mean.
TOUCHSTONE It is meat and drink to me to see a clown. By my troth, we that have good wits have much to answer for. We shall be flouting. We cannot hold.	TOUCHSTONE It is meat and drink to me to see a clown. By my troth, we that have good wits have much to answer for. We shall be flouting. We cannot hold.
WILLIAM Good ev'n, Audrey.	WILLIAM Good ev'n, Audrey.
AUDREY God gi' good ev'n, William.	AUDREY God gi' good ev'n, William.
WILLIAM And good ev'n to you, sir.	WILLIAM And good ev'n to you, sir.
TOUCHSTONE 15 Good ev'n, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy head. Nay, prithee, be covered. How old are you, friend?	TOUCHSTONE Good ev'n, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy head. Nay, prithee, be covered. How old are you, friend?
WILLIAM Five-and-twenty, sir.	WILLIAM Five-and-twenty, sir.
TOUCHSTONE A ripe age. Is thy name William?	TOUCHSTONE A ripe age. Is thy name William?
WILLIAM William, sir.	WILLIAM William, sir.
TOUCHSTONE 20 A fair name. Wast born i' th' forest here?	TOUCHSTONE A fair name. Wast born i' th' forest here?
WILLIAM Ay, sir, I thank God.	WILLIAM Ay, sir, I thank God.
TOUCHSTONE “Thank God.” A good answer. Art rich?	TOUCHSTONE “Thank God.” A good answer. Art rich?
WILLIAM 'Faith, sir, so-so.	WILLIAM 'Faith, sir, so-so.
TOUCHSTONE “So-so” is good, very good, very excellent good. And yet it is not: it is but so-so. Art thou wise?	TOUCHSTONE “So-so” is good, very good, very excellent good. And yet it is not: it is but so-so. Art thou wise?
WILLIAM Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.	WILLIAM Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.
TOUCHSTONE Why, thou sayst well. I do now remember a saying: “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth, meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat and lips to open. You do love this maid?	TOUCHSTONE Why, thou sayst well. I do now remember a saying: “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth, meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat and lips to open. You do love this maid?
WILLIAM I do, sir.	WILLIAM I do, sir.
TOUCHSTONE Give me your hand. Art thou learned?	TOUCHSTONE Give me your hand. Art thou learned?
WILLIAM 35 No, sir.	WILLIAM No, sir.
TOUCHSTONE Then learn this of me: to have is to have. For it is a figure in rhetoric that drink, being poured out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty the other. For all your writers do consent that ipse is “he.” Now, you are not ipse, for I am he.	TOUCHSTONE Then learn this of me: to have is to have. For it is a figure in rhetoric that drink, being poured out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty the other. For all your writers do consent that ipse is “he.” Now, you are not ipse, for I am he.
WILLIAM Which he, sir?	WILLIAM Which he, sir?
TOUCHSTONE He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you clown, abandon—which is, in the vulgar, “leave”—the society—which in the boorish is “company”—of this female—which in the common is “woman”; which together is, abandon the society of this female, or, clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; or, to wit, I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage. I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel. I will bandy with thee in faction. I will o'errun thee with policy. I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways. Therefore tremble and depart.	TOUCHSTONE He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you clown, abandon—which is, in the vulgar, “leave”—the society—which in the boorish is “company”—of this female—which in the common is “woman”; which together is, abandon the society of this female, or, clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; or, to wit, I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage. I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel. I will bandy with thee in faction. I will o'errun thee with policy. I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways. Therefore tremble and depart.
AUDREY Do, good William.	AUDREY Do, good William.
WILLIAM God rest you merry, sir.	WILLIAM God rest you merry, sir.
Exit	Exit
Enter CORIN	Enter CORIN
CORIN 55 Our master and mistress seeks you. Come away, away.	CORIN Our master and mistress seeks you. Come away, away.
TOUCHSTONE Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey.—I attend, I attend.	TOUCHSTONE Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey.—I attend, I attend.
Exeunt	Exeunt