Election Day is November 3rd! Make sure your voice is heard

As You Like It

William Shakespeare
No Fear Act 3 Scene 2
No Fear Act 3 Scene 2 Page 5

Original Text

Modern Text

TOUCHSTONE

I’ll rhyme you so eight years together, dinners and suppers and sleeping hours excepted. It is the right butter-women’s rank to market.

TOUCHSTONE

I could rhyme like that for eight years in a row, excepting meal times and sleeping hours. That awful, plodding rhyme sounded like a row of dairy women stomping off to market.

ROSALIND

Out, fool.

ROSALIND

Oh, stop, fool.

TOUCHSTONE

For a taste:
If a hart do lack a hind,
90Let him seek out Rosalind.
If the cat will after kind,
So, be sure, will Rosalind.
Winter garments must be lined,
So must slender Rosalind.
95They that reap must sheaf and bind,
Then to cart with Rosalind.
Sweetest nut hath sourest rind;
Such a nut is Rosalind.
He that sweetest rose will find
100Must find love’s prick, and Rosalind.
This is the very false gallop of verses. Why do you infect yourself with them?

TOUCHSTONE

Let me try:
If there’s a buck who needs a doe
Tell him Rosalind will do.
A cat in heat will look for a mate,
And Rosalind certainly will too.
Winter garments need to be filled with something,
And so does skinny Rosalind.
After you harvest, you have to sheaf and bind
So throw ripe Rosalind on the harvest cart.
The sweetest nut has the sourest rind
And Rosalind is that kind of nut.
The man who finds the sweetest rose
Will be pricked by it, and by Rosalind.
This is exactly the false way that verses gallop along. Why bother with them?

ROSALIND

Peace, you dull fool. I found them on a tree.

ROSALIND

Quiet, you stupid fool. I found them on a tree.

TOUCHSTONE

Truly, the tree yields bad fruit.

TOUCHSTONE

Well, the tree bears rotten fruit.

ROSALIND

105I’ll graft it with you, and then I shall graft it with a medlar. Then it will be the earliest fruit i' th' country, for you’ll be rotten ere you be half ripe, and that’s the right virtue of the medlar.

ROSALIND

I’ll graft you onto that tree, and when I do I’ll be grafting onto it a

medlar

In other words, Touchstone will be “rotten,” or decomposing in his grave, before he’s “ripe,” or wise. Medlar fruits were eaten when they were rotten.

medlar
. The fruit the tree bears will be the earliest to ripen in the country because, God knows, you’ll be rotten before you’re half-ripe, which is how medlars are.