Election Day is November 3rd! Make sure your voice is heard

As You Like It

William Shakespeare
No Fear Act 3 Scene 2
No Fear Act 3 Scene 2 Page 16

Original Text

Modern Text

ROSALIND

No, I will not cast away my physic but on those that are sick. There is a man haunts the forest that abuses our young plants with carving “Rosalind” on their barks, hangs odes upon hawthorns and elegies on brambles, all, forsooth, deifying the name of Rosalind. If I could meet that fancy- monger I would give him some good counsel, for he seems to have the quotidian of love upon him.

ROSALIND

No, I won’t give my medicine away to anyone but the sick. There’s a man haunting this forest who abuses the trees by carving “Rosalind” on their barks. He hangs his odes on the hawthorns and his elegies on the brambles—each of these poems praising to the heavens one “Rosalind.” Now if I could find this man, this dream-catcher, I would give him some good advice, because he is truly love-sick.

ORLANDO

330I am he that is so love-shaked. I pray you tell me your remedy.

ORLANDO

Well, I’m the man you’re speaking of. Please, tell me your cure.

ROSALIND

There is none of my uncle’s marks upon you. He taught me how to know a man in love, in which cage of rushes I am sure you are not prisoner.

ROSALIND

But you don’t have any of the symptoms my uncle told me about. He taught me how to recognize a man in love, and you’re not a prisoner of love, I’m sure.

ORLANDO

335What were his marks?

ORLANDO

What did he say the symptoms were?

ROSALIND

A lean cheek, which you have not; a blue eye and sunken, which you have not; an unquestionable spirit, which you have not; a beard neglected, which you have not—but I pardon you for that, for simply your having in beard is a younger brother’s revenue. Then your hose should be ungartered, your bonnet unbanded, your sleeve unbuttoned, your shoe untied, and everything about you demonstrating a careless desolation. But you are no such man. You are rather point-device in your accouterments, as loving yourself than seeming the lover of any other.

ROSALIND

A thin face, which you don’t have; a sleepless, sunken eye, which you don’t have; an irritable temper, which you don’t have; a neglected beard, which you don’t have—but that might not be so telling, since you don’t have much beard anyway. Your stockings should be falling down around your ankles, your hat flying off your head, your sleeves unbuttoned, your shoes untied, and everything about you demonstrating carelessness and misery. But you’re no such man. You’re so neat and well put-together that you look like you love yourself more than anyone else.

ORLANDO

Fair youth, I would I could make thee believe I love.

ORLANDO

Young boy, I wish I could make you believe that I’m in love.