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As You Like It

William Shakespeare
No Fear Act 3 Scene 2
No Fear Act 3 Scene 2 Page 18

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ROSALIND

Yes, one, and in this manner. He was to imagine me his love, his mistress, and I set him every day to woo me; at which time would I, being but a moonish youth, grieve, be effeminate, changeable, longing and liking, proud, fantastical, apish, shallow, inconstant, full of tears, full of smiles; for every passion something, and for no passion truly anything, as boys and women are, for the most part, cattle of this color; would now like him, now loathe him; then entertain him, then forswear him; now weep for him, then spit at him, that I drave my suitor from his mad humor of love to a living humor of madness, which was to forswear the full stream of the world and to live in a nook merely monastic. And thus I cured him, and this way will I take upon me to wash your liver as clean as a sound sheep’s heart, that there shall not be one spot of love in ’t.

ROSALIND

Yes, one, and this is how I did it. He had to imagine that I was the girl he was in love with. I made him woo me every day. When he did, being the changeable boy I am, I’d mope, act effeminate, switch moods, long for him, like him, be proud and standoffish, be dreamy, full of mannerisms, unpredictable, full of tears and then smiles; be passionate about everything, then nothing. Most boys and women act just like this. I’d like him one minute and despise him the next; cry for him, then spit at him—until finally I drove love out and anger in. He abandoned the world, and hid himself away in a monastery. So I cured him, and I’ll cure you just the same, leaving you as clean as a sheep’s heart, without one spot of love in you.

ORLANDO

I would not be cured, youth.

ORLANDO

I don’t want to be cured, boy.

ROSALIND

I would cure you if you would but call me Rosalind and come every day to my cote and woo me.

ROSALIND

I could cure you, if you just called me Rosalind and came by my cottage every day to woo me.

ORLANDO

Now, by the faith of my love, I will. Tell me where it is.

ORLANDO

By my faith in love, I will, then. Tell me where you live.

ROSALIND

Go with me to it, and I’ll show it you; and by the way you shall tell me where in the forest you live. Will you go?

ROSALIND

Come with me, I’ll show you, and along the way, you can tell me where you live. Will you come?

ORLANDO

With all my heart, good youth.

ORLANDO

Wholeheartedly, good young man.

ROSALIND

385Nay, you must call me Rosalind.—Come, sister, will you go?

ROSALIND

No, you have to call me Rosalind.—Sister, you’re coming?
Exeunt
They all exit.