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Original Text |
Modern Text |
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Enter LEONATO, ANTONIO, HERO, BEATRICE, URSULA, and MARGARET
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Enter LEONATO, ANTONIO, HERO, BEATRICE, URSULA, and MARGARET
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LEONATO Was not Count John here at supper?
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LEONATO Was not Count John here at supper?
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ANTONIO I saw him not.
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ANTONIO I saw him not.
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BEATRICE How tartly that gentleman looks! I never can see him but I
am heartburned an hour after.
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BEATRICE How tartly that gentleman looks! I never can see him but I
am heartburned an hour after.
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HERO 5 He is of a very melancholy disposition.
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HERO He is of a very melancholy disposition.
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BEATRICE He were an excellent man that were made just in the
midway between him and Benedick. The one is too like an
image and says nothing, and the other too like my lady’s
eldest son, evermore tattling.
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BEATRICE He were an excellent man that were made just in the
midway between him and Benedick. The one is too like an
image and says nothing, and the other too like my lady’s
eldest son, evermore tattling.
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LEONATO mouth, and half Count John’s melancholy in Signor
Benedick’s face—
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LEONATO mouth, and half Count John’s melancholy in Signor
Benedick’s face—
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BEATRICE With a good leg and a good foot, uncle, and money enough
in his purse, such a man would win any woman in the
15 world, if he could get her goodwill.
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BEATRICE With a good leg and a good foot, uncle, and money enough
in his purse, such a man would win any woman in the
world, if he could get her goodwill.
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LEONATO By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee a husband if
thou be so shrewd of thy tongue.
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LEONATO By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee a husband if
thou be so shrewd of thy tongue.
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ANTONIO In faith, she’s too curst.
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ANTONIO In faith, she’s too curst.
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BEATRICE Too curst is more than curst. I shall lessen God’s sending
but to a cow too curst, he sends none.
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BEATRICE Too curst is more than curst. I shall lessen God’s sending
but to a cow too curst, he sends none.
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LEONATO So, by being too curst, God will send you no horns.
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LEONATO So, by being too curst, God will send you no horns.
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BEATRICE Just, if he send me no husband, for the which blessing I am
at him upon my knees every morning and evening. Lord, I
25 could not endure a husband with a beard on his face! I had
rather lie in the woolen.
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BEATRICE Just, if he send me no husband, for the which blessing I am
at him upon my knees every morning and evening. Lord, I
could not endure a husband with a beard on his face! I had
rather lie in the woolen.
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LEONATO You may light on a husband that hath no beard.
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LEONATO You may light on a husband that hath no beard.
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BEATRICE What should I do with him? Dress him in my apparel and
make him my waiting gentlewoman? He that hath a beard
30 is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than
a man; and he that is more than a youth is not for me, and
he that is less than a man, I am not for him. Therefore I will
even take sixpence in earnest of the bearherd, and lead his
apes into hell.
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BEATRICE What should I do with him? Dress him in my apparel and
make him my waiting gentlewoman? He that hath a beard
is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than
a man; and he that is more than a youth is not for me, and
he that is less than a man, I am not for him. Therefore I will
even take sixpence in earnest of the bearherd, and lead his
apes into hell.
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LEONATO 35 Well then, go you into hell?
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LEONATO Well then, go you into hell?
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BEATRICE No, but to the gate, and there will the devil meet me like an
old cuckold with horns on his head, and say, “Get you to
heaven, Beatrice, get you to heaven; here’s no place for you
maids.” So deliver I up my apes and away to Saint Peter. For
40 the heavens, he shows me where the bachelors sit, and there
live we as merry as the day is long.
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BEATRICE No, but to the gate, and there will the devil meet me like an
old cuckold with horns on his head, and say, “Get you to
heaven, Beatrice, get you to heaven; here’s no place for you
maids.” So deliver I up my apes and away to Saint Peter. For
the heavens, he shows me where the bachelors sit, and there
live we as merry as the day is long.
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ANTONIO (to HERO)Well, niece, I trust you will be ruled by your
father.
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ANTONIO (to HERO)Well, niece, I trust you will be ruled by your
father.
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BEATRICE Yes, faith, it is my cousin’s duty to make curtsy and say,
him be a handsome fellow, or else make another curtsy and
say, “Father, as it please me.”
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BEATRICE Yes, faith, it is my cousin’s duty to make curtsy and say,
him be a handsome fellow, or else make another curtsy and
say, “Father, as it please me.”
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LEONATO Well, niece, I hope to see you one day fitted with a husband.
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LEONATO Well, niece, I hope to see you one day fitted with a husband.
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BEATRICE Not till God make men of some other metal than earth.
50 Would it not grieve a woman to be overmastered with a
piece of valiant dust? To make an account of her life to a clod
of wayward marl? No, uncle, I’ll none. Adam’s sons are my
brethren, and truly I hold it a sin to match in my kindred.
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BEATRICE Not till God make men of some other metal than earth.
Would it not grieve a woman to be overmastered with a
piece of valiant dust? To make an account of her life to a clod
of wayward marl? No, uncle, I’ll none. Adam’s sons are my
brethren, and truly I hold it a sin to match in my kindred.
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LEONATO (to HERO) Daughter, remember what I told you. If the
55 Prince do solicit you in that kind, you know your answer.
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LEONATO (to HERO) Daughter, remember what I told you. If the
Prince do solicit you in that kind, you know your answer.
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BEATRICE The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you be not wooed
in good time. If the Prince be too important, tell him there
is measure in everything, and so dance out the answer. For
hear me, Hero, wooing, wedding, and repenting is as a
60 Scotch jig, a measure, and a cinquepace. The first suit is hot
and hasty like a Scotch jig, and full as fantastical; the
wedding, mannerly modest as a measure, full of state and
ancientry; and then comes repentance, and with his bad
legs falls into the cinquepace faster and faster till he sink
65 into his grave.
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BEATRICE The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you be not wooed
in good time. If the Prince be too important, tell him there
is measure in everything, and so dance out the answer. For
hear me, Hero, wooing, wedding, and repenting is as a
Scotch jig, a measure, and a cinquepace. The first suit is hot
and hasty like a Scotch jig, and full as fantastical; the
wedding, mannerly modest as a measure, full of state and
ancientry; and then comes repentance, and with his bad
legs falls into the cinquepace faster and faster till he sink
into his grave.
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LEONATO Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly.
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LEONATO Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly.
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BEATRICE I have a good eye, uncle. I can see a church by daylight.
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BEATRICE I have a good eye, uncle. I can see a church by daylight.
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LEONATO The revelers are entering, brother. Make good room.
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LEONATO The revelers are entering, brother. Make good room.
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Enter DON PEDRO , CLAUDIO , BENEDICK , BALTHASAR , DON JOHN , BORACHIO , MARGARET , URSULA and others, masked
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Enter DON PEDRO , CLAUDIO , BENEDICK , BALTHASAR , DON JOHN , BORACHIO , MARGARET , URSULA and others, masked
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DON PEDRO Lady, will you walk a bout with your friend?
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DON PEDRO Lady, will you walk a bout with your friend?
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They begin to dance
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They begin to dance
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HERO 70 So you walk softly, and look sweetly, and say nothing, I am
yours for the walk, and especially when I walk away.
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HERO So you walk softly, and look sweetly, and say nothing, I am
yours for the walk, and especially when I walk away.
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DON PEDRO With me in your company?
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DON PEDRO With me in your company?
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HERO I may say so when I please.
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HERO I may say so when I please.
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DON PEDRO And when please you to say so?
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DON PEDRO And when please you to say so?
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HERO 75 When I like your favor, for God defend the lute should be
like the case!
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HERO When I like your favor, for God defend the lute should be
like the case!
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DON PEDRO My visor is Philemon’s roof; within the house is Jove.
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DON PEDRO My visor is Philemon’s roof; within the house is Jove.
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HERO Why, then, your visor should be thatched.
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HERO Why, then, your visor should be thatched.
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DON PEDRO Speak low if you speak love.
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DON PEDRO Speak low if you speak love.
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They move aside. BALTHASAR and MARGARET move forward
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They move aside. BALTHASAR and MARGARET move forward
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BALTHASAR 80 Well, I would you did like me.
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BALTHASAR Well, I would you did like me.
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MARGARET So would not I for your own sake, for I have many ill qualities.
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MARGARET So would not I for your own sake, for I have many ill qualities.
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BALTHASAR Which is one?
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BALTHASAR Which is one?
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MARGARET I say my prayers aloud.
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MARGARET I say my prayers aloud.
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BALTHASAR I love you the better; the hearers may cry “Amen.”
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BALTHASAR I love you the better; the hearers may cry “Amen.”
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MARGARET 85 God match me with a good dancer!
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MARGARET God match me with a good dancer!
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BALTHASAR Amen.
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BALTHASAR Amen.
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MARGARET And God keep him out of my sight when the dance is done!
Answer, clerk.
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MARGARET And God keep him out of my sight when the dance is done!
Answer, clerk.
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BALTHASAR No more words. The clerk is answered.
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BALTHASAR No more words. The clerk is answered.
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They move aside. URSULA and ANTONIO move forward.
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They move aside. URSULA and ANTONIO move forward.
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URSULA 90 I know you well enough. You are Signor Antonio.
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URSULA I know you well enough. You are Signor Antonio.
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ANTONIO At a word, I am not.
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ANTONIO At a word, I am not.
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URSULA I know you by the waggling of your head.
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URSULA I know you by the waggling of your head.
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ANTONIO To tell you true, I counterfeit him.
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ANTONIO To tell you true, I counterfeit him.
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URSULA You could never do him so ill-well unless you were the very
he.
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URSULA You could never do him so ill-well unless you were the very
he.
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ANTONIO At a word, I am not.
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ANTONIO At a word, I am not.
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URSULA Come, come, do you think I do not know you by your
excellent wit? Can virtue hide itself? Go to, mum, you are
100 he. Graces will appear, and there’s an end.
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URSULA Come, come, do you think I do not know you by your
excellent wit? Can virtue hide itself? Go to, mum, you are
he. Graces will appear, and there’s an end.
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They move aside. BENEDICK and BEATRICE move forward.
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They move aside. BENEDICK and BEATRICE move forward.
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BEATRICE Will you not tell me who told you so?
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BEATRICE Will you not tell me who told you so?
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BENEDICK No, you shall pardon me.
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BENEDICK No, you shall pardon me.
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BEATRICE Nor will you not tell me who you are?
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BEATRICE Nor will you not tell me who you are?
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BENEDICK Not now.
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BENEDICK Not now.
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BEATRICE 105 That I was disdainful and that I had my good wit out of The
Hundred Merry Tales! Well this was Signor Benedick that
said so.
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BEATRICE That I was disdainful and that I had my good wit out of The
Hundred Merry Tales! Well this was Signor Benedick that
said so.
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BENEDICK What’s he?
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BENEDICK What’s he?
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BEATRICE I am sure you know him well enough.
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BEATRICE I am sure you know him well enough.
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BENEDICK 110 Not I, believe me.
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BENEDICK Not I, believe me.
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BEATRICE Did he never make you laugh?
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BEATRICE Did he never make you laugh?
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BENEDICK I pray you, what is he?
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BENEDICK I pray you, what is he?
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BEATRICE Why, he is the Prince’s jester, a very dull fool, only his gift
is in devising impossible slanders. None but libertines
115 delight in him, and the commendation is not in his wit but
in his villainy, for he both pleases men and angers them,
and then they laugh at him and beat him. I am sure he is in
the fleet. I would he had boarded me.
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BEATRICE Why, he is the Prince’s jester, a very dull fool, only his gift
is in devising impossible slanders. None but libertines
delight in him, and the commendation is not in his wit but
in his villainy, for he both pleases men and angers them,
and then they laugh at him and beat him. I am sure he is in
the fleet. I would he had boarded me.
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BENEDICK When I know the gentleman, I’ll tell him what you say.
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BENEDICK When I know the gentleman, I’ll tell him what you say.
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BEATRICE peradventure not marked or not laughed at, strikes him into
melancholy, and then there’s a partridge wing saved, for the
fool will eat no supper that night.
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BEATRICE peradventure not marked or not laughed at, strikes him into
melancholy, and then there’s a partridge wing saved, for the
fool will eat no supper that night.
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Music for the dance
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Music for the dance
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We must follow the leaders.
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We must follow the leaders.
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BENEDICK 125 In every good thing.
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BENEDICK In every good thing.
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BEATRICE Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave them at the next
turning.
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BEATRICE Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave them at the next
turning.
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Dance, then exeunt all except DON JOHN , BORACHIO , and CLAUDIO
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Dance, then exeunt all except DON JOHN , BORACHIO , and CLAUDIO
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DON JOHN (to BORACHIO) Sure my brother is amorous on Hero, and
hath withdrawn her father to break with him about it. The
130 ladies follow her, and but one visor remains.
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DON JOHN (to BORACHIO) Sure my brother is amorous on Hero, and
hath withdrawn her father to break with him about it. The
ladies follow her, and but one visor remains.
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BORACHIO And that is Claudio. I know him by his bearing.
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BORACHIO And that is Claudio. I know him by his bearing.
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DON JOHN (to CLAUDIO) Are not you Signor Benedick?
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DON JOHN (to CLAUDIO) Are not you Signor Benedick?
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CLAUDIO You know me well. I am he.
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CLAUDIO You know me well. I am he.
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DON JOHN Signor, you are very near my brother in his love. He is
135 enamored on Hero. I pray you, dissuade him from her. She
is no equal for his birth. You may do the part of an honest
man in it.
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DON JOHN Signor, you are very near my brother in his love. He is
enamored on Hero. I pray you, dissuade him from her. She
is no equal for his birth. You may do the part of an honest
man in it.
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CLAUDIO How know you he loves her?
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CLAUDIO How know you he loves her?
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DON JOHN I heard him swear his affection.
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DON JOHN I heard him swear his affection.
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BORACHIO 140 So did I too, and he swore he would marry her tonight.
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BORACHIO So did I too, and he swore he would marry her tonight.
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DON JOHN Come, let us to the banquet.
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DON JOHN Come, let us to the banquet.
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Exeunt DON JOHN and BORACHIO
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Exeunt DON JOHN and BORACHIO
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CLAUDIO (unmasking)
Thus answer I in the name of Benedick,
But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio.
145 'Tis certain so, the Prince woos for himself.
Friendship is constant in all other things
Save in the office and affairs of love.
Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues.
Let every eye nogetiate for itself
150 And trust no agent, for beauty is a witch
Against whose charms faith melteth into blood.
This is an accident of hourly proof,
Which I mistrusted not. Farewell, therefore, Hero.
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CLAUDIO (unmasking)
Thus answer I in the name of Benedick,
But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio.
'Tis certain so, the Prince woos for himself.
Friendship is constant in all other things
Save in the office and affairs of love.
Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues.
Let every eye nogetiate for itself
And trust no agent, for beauty is a witch
Against whose charms faith melteth into blood.
This is an accident of hourly proof,
Which I mistrusted not. Farewell, therefore, Hero.
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Enter BENEDICK
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Enter BENEDICK
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BENEDICK Count Claudio?
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BENEDICK Count Claudio?
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CLAUDIO 155 Yea, the same.
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CLAUDIO Yea, the same.
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BENEDICK Come, will you go with me?
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BENEDICK Come, will you go with me?
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CLAUDIO Whither?
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CLAUDIO Whither?
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BENEDICK Even to the next willow, about your own business, county.
What fashion will you wear the garland of? About your
160 neck like an usurer’s chain? Or under your arm like a
lieutenant’s scarf? You must wear it one way, for the Prince
hath gat your Hero.
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BENEDICK Even to the next willow, about your own business, county.
What fashion will you wear the garland of? About your
neck like an usurer’s chain? Or under your arm like a
lieutenant’s scarf? You must wear it one way, for the Prince
hath gat your Hero.
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CLAUDIO I wish him joy of her.
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CLAUDIO I wish him joy of her.
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BENEDICK Why, that’s spoken like an honest drover; so they sell
165 bullocks. But did you think the Prince would have served
you thus?
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BENEDICK Why, that’s spoken like an honest drover; so they sell
bullocks. But did you think the Prince would have served
you thus?
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CLAUDIO I pray you, leave me.
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CLAUDIO I pray you, leave me.
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BENEDICK Ho, now you strike like the blind man. 'Twas the boy that
stole your meat, and you’ll beat the post.
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BENEDICK Ho, now you strike like the blind man. 'Twas the boy that
stole your meat, and you’ll beat the post.
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CLAUDIO 170 If it will not be, I’ll leave you.
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CLAUDIO If it will not be, I’ll leave you.
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Exit
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Exit
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BENEDICK Alas, poor hurt fowl, now will he creep into sedges. But that
my Lady Beatrice should know me, and not know me! The
Prince’s fool! Ha, it may be I go under that title because I am
merry. Yea, but so I am apt to do myself wrong. I am not so
175 reputed! It is the base, though bitter, disposition of Beatrice
that puts the world into her person and so gives me out.
Well, I’ll be revenged as I may.
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BENEDICK Alas, poor hurt fowl, now will he creep into sedges. But that
my Lady Beatrice should know me, and not know me! The
Prince’s fool! Ha, it may be I go under that title because I am
merry. Yea, but so I am apt to do myself wrong. I am not so
reputed! It is the base, though bitter, disposition of Beatrice
that puts the world into her person and so gives me out.
Well, I’ll be revenged as I may.
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Enter DON PEDRO
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Enter DON PEDRO
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DON PEDRO Now, Signior, where’s the Count? Did you see him?
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DON PEDRO Now, Signior, where’s the Count? Did you see him?
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BENEDICK Troth, my lord, I have played the part of Lady Fame. I
180 found him here as melancholy as a lodge in a warren. I told
him, and I think I told him true, that your Grace had got the
goodwill of this young lady, and I offered him my company
to a willow tree, either to make him a garland, as being
forsaken, or to bind him up a rod, as being worthy to be
185 whipped.
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BENEDICK Troth, my lord, I have played the part of Lady Fame. I
found him here as melancholy as a lodge in a warren. I told
him, and I think I told him true, that your Grace had got the
goodwill of this young lady, and I offered him my company
to a willow tree, either to make him a garland, as being
forsaken, or to bind him up a rod, as being worthy to be
whipped.
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DON PEDRO To be whipped? What’s his fault?
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DON PEDRO To be whipped? What’s his fault?
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BENEDICK The flat transgression of a schoolboy who, being overjoyed
with finding a birds' nest, shows it his companion, and he
steals it.
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BENEDICK The flat transgression of a schoolboy who, being overjoyed
with finding a birds' nest, shows it his companion, and he
steals it.
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DON PEDRO 190 Wilt thou make a trust a transgression? The transgression
is in the stealer.
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DON PEDRO Wilt thou make a trust a transgression? The transgression
is in the stealer.
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BENEDICK Yet it had not been amiss the rod had been made, and the
garland too, for the garland he might have worn himself
and the rod he might have bestowed on you, who, as I take
195 it, have stolen his birds' nest.
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BENEDICK Yet it had not been amiss the rod had been made, and the
garland too, for the garland he might have worn himself
and the rod he might have bestowed on you, who, as I take
it, have stolen his birds' nest.
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DON PEDRO I will but teach them to sing and restore them to the owner.
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DON PEDRO I will but teach them to sing and restore them to the owner.
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BENEDICK If their singing answer your saying, by my faith, you say
honestly.
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BENEDICK If their singing answer your saying, by my faith, you say
honestly.
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DON PEDRO The Lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to you. The gentleman
200 that danced with her told her she is much wronged by you.
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DON PEDRO The Lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to you. The gentleman
that danced with her told her she is much wronged by you.
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BENEDICK O, she misused me past the endurance of a block! An oak
but with one green leaf on it would have answered her. My
very visor began to assume life and scold with her. She told
me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the Prince’s
205 jester, that I was duller than a great thaw, huddling jest
upon jest with such impossible conveyance upon me that I
stood like a man at a mark with a whole army shooting at
me. She speaks poniards, and every word stabs. If her
breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no
210 living near her; she would infect to the north star. I would
not marry her, though she were endowed with all that
Adam had left him before he transgressed. She would have
made Hercules have turned spit, yea, and have cleft his club
to make the fire, too. Come, talk not of her. You shall find
215 her the infernal Ate in good apparel. I would to God some
scholar would conjure her, for certainly, while she is here,
a man may live as quiet in hell as in a sanctuary, and people
sin upon purpose because they would go thither. So indeed
all disquiet, horror and perturbation follows her.
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BENEDICK O, she misused me past the endurance of a block! An oak
but with one green leaf on it would have answered her. My
very visor began to assume life and scold with her. She told
me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the Prince’s
jester, that I was duller than a great thaw, huddling jest
upon jest with such impossible conveyance upon me that I
stood like a man at a mark with a whole army shooting at
me. She speaks poniards, and every word stabs. If her
breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no
living near her; she would infect to the north star. I would
not marry her, though she were endowed with all that
Adam had left him before he transgressed. She would have
made Hercules have turned spit, yea, and have cleft his club
to make the fire, too. Come, talk not of her. You shall find
her the infernal Ate in good apparel. I would to God some
scholar would conjure her, for certainly, while she is here,
a man may live as quiet in hell as in a sanctuary, and people
sin upon purpose because they would go thither. So indeed
all disquiet, horror and perturbation follows her.
|
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Enter CLAUDIO , BEATRICE , HERO , and LEONATO
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Enter CLAUDIO , BEATRICE , HERO , and LEONATO
|
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DON PEDRO 220 Look, here she comes.
|
DON PEDRO Look, here she comes.
|
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BENEDICK Will your grace command me any service to the world’s
end? I will go on the slightest errand now to the Antipodes
that you can devise to send me on. I will fetch you a
toothpicker now from the furthest inch of Asia, bring you
great Cham’s beard, do you any embassage to the Pygmies,
rather than hold three words' conference with this harpy.
You have no employment for me?
|
BENEDICK Will your grace command me any service to the world’s
end? I will go on the slightest errand now to the Antipodes
that you can devise to send me on. I will fetch you a
toothpicker now from the furthest inch of Asia, bring you
great Cham’s beard, do you any embassage to the Pygmies,
rather than hold three words' conference with this harpy.
You have no employment for me?
|
|
DON PEDRO None but to desire your good company.
|
DON PEDRO None but to desire your good company.
|
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BENEDICK Lady Tongue!
|
BENEDICK Lady Tongue!
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Exit
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Exit
|
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DON PEDRO (to BEATRICE) Come, lady, come, you have lost the heart of
Signior Benedick.
|
DON PEDRO (to BEATRICE) Come, lady, come, you have lost the heart of
Signior Benedick.
|
|
BEATRICE Indeed, my lord, he lent it me awhile, and I gave him use for
235 it, a double heart for his single one. Marry, once before he
won it of me with false dice. Therefore your Grace may well
say I have lost it.
|
BEATRICE Indeed, my lord, he lent it me awhile, and I gave him use for
it, a double heart for his single one. Marry, once before he
won it of me with false dice. Therefore your Grace may well
say I have lost it.
|
|
DON PEDRO You have put him down, lady, you have put him down.
|
DON PEDRO You have put him down, lady, you have put him down.
|
|
BEATRICE So I would not he should do me, my lord, lest I should prove
240 the mother of fools. I have brought Count Claudio, whom
you sent me to seek.
|
BEATRICE So I would not he should do me, my lord, lest I should prove
the mother of fools. I have brought Count Claudio, whom
you sent me to seek.
|
|
DON PEDRO Why, how now, Count, wherefore are you sad?
|
DON PEDRO Why, how now, Count, wherefore are you sad?
|
|
CLAUDIO Not sad, my lord.
|
CLAUDIO Not sad, my lord.
|
|
DON PEDRO How then, sick?
|
DON PEDRO How then, sick?
|
|
CLAUDIO 245 Neither, my lord.
|
CLAUDIO Neither, my lord.
|
|
BEATRICE The Count is neither sad, nor sick, nor merry, nor well, but
civil count, civil as an orange, and something of that jealous
complexion.
|
BEATRICE The Count is neither sad, nor sick, nor merry, nor well, but
civil count, civil as an orange, and something of that jealous
complexion.
|
|
DON PEDRO I' faith, lady, I think your blazon to be true, though, I’ll be
have wooed in thy name, and fair Hero is won. I have broke
with her father and his goodwill obtained. Name the day of
marriage, and God give thee joy.
|
DON PEDRO I' faith, lady, I think your blazon to be true, though, I’ll be
have wooed in thy name, and fair Hero is won. I have broke
with her father and his goodwill obtained. Name the day of
marriage, and God give thee joy.
|
|
LEONATO Count, take of me my daughter, and with her my fortunes.
to it.
|
LEONATO Count, take of me my daughter, and with her my fortunes.
to it.
|
|
BEATRICE Speak, Count, ’tis your cue.
|
BEATRICE Speak, Count, ’tis your cue.
|
|
CLAUDIO Silence is the perfectest herald of joy. I were but little happy
if I could say how much.—Lady, as you are mine, I am
260 yours. I give away myself for you and dote upon the
exchange.
|
CLAUDIO Silence is the perfectest herald of joy. I were but little happy
if I could say how much.—Lady, as you are mine, I am
yours. I give away myself for you and dote upon the
exchange.
|
|
BEATRICE Speak, cousin, or if you cannot, stop his mouth with a kiss
and let not him speak neither.
|
BEATRICE Speak, cousin, or if you cannot, stop his mouth with a kiss
and let not him speak neither.
|
|
DON PEDRO In faith, lady, you have a merry heart.
|
DON PEDRO In faith, lady, you have a merry heart.
|
|
BEATRICE 265 Yea, my lord. I thank it, poor fool, it keeps on the windy side
of care. My cousin tells him in his ear that he is in her heart.
|
BEATRICE Yea, my lord. I thank it, poor fool, it keeps on the windy side
of care. My cousin tells him in his ear that he is in her heart.
|
|
CLAUDIO And so she doth, cousin.
|
CLAUDIO And so she doth, cousin.
|
|
BEATRICE Good Lord for alliance! Thus goes everyone to the world
but I, and I am sunburnt. I may sit in a corner and cry,
270 “Heigh-ho for a husband!”
|
BEATRICE Good Lord for alliance! Thus goes everyone to the world
but I, and I am sunburnt. I may sit in a corner and cry,
“Heigh-ho for a husband!”
|
|
DON PEDRO Lady Beatrice, I will get you one.
|
DON PEDRO Lady Beatrice, I will get you one.
|
|
BEATRICE I would rather have one of your father’s getting. Hath your
grace ne'er a brother like you? Your father got excellent
husbands, if a maid could come by them.
|
BEATRICE I would rather have one of your father’s getting. Hath your
grace ne'er a brother like you? Your father got excellent
husbands, if a maid could come by them.
|
|
DON PEDRO 275 Will you have me, lady?
|
DON PEDRO Will you have me, lady?
|
|
BEATRICE No, my lord, unless I might have another for working days.
Your Grace is too costly to wear every day. But I beseech
your Grace pardon me. I was born to speak all mirth and no
matter.
|
BEATRICE No, my lord, unless I might have another for working days.
Your Grace is too costly to wear every day. But I beseech
your Grace pardon me. I was born to speak all mirth and no
matter.
|
|
DON PEDRO 280 Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best
becomes you, for out o' question you were born in a merry
hour.
|
DON PEDRO Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best
becomes you, for out o' question you were born in a merry
hour.
|
|
BEATRICE No, sure, my lord, my mother cried, but then there was a
star danced, and under that was I born.—Cousins, God
285 give you joy!
|
BEATRICE No, sure, my lord, my mother cried, but then there was a
star danced, and under that was I born.—Cousins, God
give you joy!
|
|
LEONATO Niece, will you look to those things I told you of?
|
LEONATO Niece, will you look to those things I told you of?
|
|
BEATRICE I cry you mercy, uncle.—By your Grace’s pardon.
|
BEATRICE I cry you mercy, uncle.—By your Grace’s pardon.
|
|
Exit
|
Exit
|
|
DON PEDRO By my troth, a pleasant-spirited lady.
|
DON PEDRO By my troth, a pleasant-spirited lady.
|
|
LEONATO There’s little of the melancholy element in her, my lord. She
290 is never sad but when she sleeps, and not ever sad then, for
I have heard my daughter say she hath often dreamed of
unhappiness and waked herself with laughing.
|
LEONATO There’s little of the melancholy element in her, my lord. She
is never sad but when she sleeps, and not ever sad then, for
I have heard my daughter say she hath often dreamed of
unhappiness and waked herself with laughing.
|
|
DON PEDRO She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband.
|
DON PEDRO She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband.
|
|
LEONATO Oh, by no means. She mocks all her wooers out of suit.
|
LEONATO Oh, by no means. She mocks all her wooers out of suit.
|
|
DON PEDRO 295 She were an excellent wife for Benedict.
|
DON PEDRO She were an excellent wife for Benedict.
|
|
LEONATO O Lord, my lord, if they were but a week married, they
would talk themselves mad.
|
LEONATO O Lord, my lord, if they were but a week married, they
would talk themselves mad.
|
|
DON PEDRO County Claudio, when mean you to go to church?
|
DON PEDRO County Claudio, when mean you to go to church?
|
|
CLAUDIO Tomorrow, my lord. Time goes on crutches till love have all
300 his rites.
|
CLAUDIO Tomorrow, my lord. Time goes on crutches till love have all
his rites.
|
|
LEONATO Not till Monday, my dear son, which is hence a just
sevennight, and a time too brief, too, to have all things
answer my mind.
|
LEONATO Not till Monday, my dear son, which is hence a just
sevennight, and a time too brief, too, to have all things
answer my mind.
|
|
DON PEDRO (to CLAUDIO) Come, you shake the head at so long a
305 breathing, but I warrant thee, Claudio, the time shall not go
dully by us. I will in the interim undertake one of Hercules'
labors, which is to bring Signor Benedick and the Lady
Beatrice into a mountain of affection, th' one with th' other.
I would fain have it a match, and I doubt not but to fashion
310 it, if you three will but minister such assistance as I shall
give you direction.
|
DON PEDRO (to CLAUDIO) Come, you shake the head at so long a
breathing, but I warrant thee, Claudio, the time shall not go
dully by us. I will in the interim undertake one of Hercules'
labors, which is to bring Signor Benedick and the Lady
Beatrice into a mountain of affection, th' one with th' other.
I would fain have it a match, and I doubt not but to fashion
it, if you three will but minister such assistance as I shall
give you direction.
|
|
LEONATO My lord, I am for you, though it cost me ten nights'
watchings.
|
LEONATO My lord, I am for you, though it cost me ten nights'
watchings.
|
|
CLAUDIO And I, my lord.
|
CLAUDIO And I, my lord.
|
|
DON PEDRO 315 And you too, gentle Hero?
|
DON PEDRO And you too, gentle Hero?
|
|
HERO I will do any modest office, my lord, to help my cousin to a
good husband.
|
HERO I will do any modest office, my lord, to help my cousin to a
good husband.
|
|
DON PEDRO And Benedick is not the unhopefulest husband that I know.
Thus far can I praise him: he is of a noble strain, of approved
320 valor, and confirmed honesty. I will teach you how to humor
your cousin that she shall fall in love with Benedick.—And
I, with your two helps, will so practice on Benedick
that, in despite of his quick wit and his queasy stomach, he
shall fall in love with Beatrice. If we can do this, Cupid is no
325 longer an archer; his glory shall be ours, for we are the only
love gods. Go in with me, and I will tell you my drift.
|
DON PEDRO And Benedick is not the unhopefulest husband that I know.
Thus far can I praise him: he is of a noble strain, of approved
valor, and confirmed honesty. I will teach you how to humor
your cousin that she shall fall in love with Benedick.—And
I, with your two helps, will so practice on Benedick
that, in despite of his quick wit and his queasy stomach, he
shall fall in love with Beatrice. If we can do this, Cupid is no
longer an archer; his glory shall be ours, for we are the only
love gods. Go in with me, and I will tell you my drift.
|
|
Exeunt
|
Exeunt
|
Original Text |
Modern Text |
|
Enter LEONATO, ANTONIO, HERO, BEATRICE, URSULA, and MARGARET
|
Enter LEONATO, ANTONIO, HERO, BEATRICE, URSULA, and MARGARET
|
|
LEONATO Was not Count John here at supper?
|
LEONATO Was not Count John here at supper?
|
|
ANTONIO I saw him not.
|
ANTONIO I saw him not.
|
|
BEATRICE How tartly that gentleman looks! I never can see him but I
am heartburned an hour after.
|
BEATRICE How tartly that gentleman looks! I never can see him but I
am heartburned an hour after.
|
|
HERO 5 He is of a very melancholy disposition.
|
HERO He is of a very melancholy disposition.
|
|
BEATRICE He were an excellent man that were made just in the
midway between him and Benedick. The one is too like an
image and says nothing, and the other too like my lady’s
eldest son, evermore tattling.
|
BEATRICE He were an excellent man that were made just in the
midway between him and Benedick. The one is too like an
image and says nothing, and the other too like my lady’s
eldest son, evermore tattling.
|
|
LEONATO mouth, and half Count John’s melancholy in Signor
Benedick’s face—
|
LEONATO mouth, and half Count John’s melancholy in Signor
Benedick’s face—
|
|
BEATRICE With a good leg and a good foot, uncle, and money enough
in his purse, such a man would win any woman in the
15 world, if he could get her goodwill.
|
BEATRICE With a good leg and a good foot, uncle, and money enough
in his purse, such a man would win any woman in the
world, if he could get her goodwill.
|
|
LEONATO By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee a husband if
thou be so shrewd of thy tongue.
|
LEONATO By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee a husband if
thou be so shrewd of thy tongue.
|
|
ANTONIO In faith, she’s too curst.
|
ANTONIO In faith, she’s too curst.
|
|
BEATRICE Too curst is more than curst. I shall lessen God’s sending
but to a cow too curst, he sends none.
|
BEATRICE Too curst is more than curst. I shall lessen God’s sending
but to a cow too curst, he sends none.
|
|
LEONATO So, by being too curst, God will send you no horns.
|
LEONATO So, by being too curst, God will send you no horns.
|
|
BEATRICE Just, if he send me no husband, for the which blessing I am
at him upon my knees every morning and evening. Lord, I
25 could not endure a husband with a beard on his face! I had
rather lie in the woolen.
|
BEATRICE Just, if he send me no husband, for the which blessing I am
at him upon my knees every morning and evening. Lord, I
could not endure a husband with a beard on his face! I had
rather lie in the woolen.
|
|
LEONATO You may light on a husband that hath no beard.
|
LEONATO You may light on a husband that hath no beard.
|
|
BEATRICE What should I do with him? Dress him in my apparel and
make him my waiting gentlewoman? He that hath a beard
30 is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than
a man; and he that is more than a youth is not for me, and
he that is less than a man, I am not for him. Therefore I will
even take sixpence in earnest of the bearherd, and lead his
apes into hell.
|
BEATRICE What should I do with him? Dress him in my apparel and
make him my waiting gentlewoman? He that hath a beard
is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than
a man; and he that is more than a youth is not for me, and
he that is less than a man, I am not for him. Therefore I will
even take sixpence in earnest of the bearherd, and lead his
apes into hell.
|
|
LEONATO 35 Well then, go you into hell?
|
LEONATO Well then, go you into hell?
|
|
BEATRICE No, but to the gate, and there will the devil meet me like an
old cuckold with horns on his head, and say, “Get you to
heaven, Beatrice, get you to heaven; here’s no place for you
maids.” So deliver I up my apes and away to Saint Peter. For
40 the heavens, he shows me where the bachelors sit, and there
live we as merry as the day is long.
|
BEATRICE No, but to the gate, and there will the devil meet me like an
old cuckold with horns on his head, and say, “Get you to
heaven, Beatrice, get you to heaven; here’s no place for you
maids.” So deliver I up my apes and away to Saint Peter. For
the heavens, he shows me where the bachelors sit, and there
live we as merry as the day is long.
|
|
ANTONIO (to HERO)Well, niece, I trust you will be ruled by your
father.
|
ANTONIO (to HERO)Well, niece, I trust you will be ruled by your
father.
|
|
BEATRICE Yes, faith, it is my cousin’s duty to make curtsy and say,
him be a handsome fellow, or else make another curtsy and
say, “Father, as it please me.”
|
BEATRICE Yes, faith, it is my cousin’s duty to make curtsy and say,
him be a handsome fellow, or else make another curtsy and
say, “Father, as it please me.”
|
|
LEONATO Well, niece, I hope to see you one day fitted with a husband.
|
LEONATO Well, niece, I hope to see you one day fitted with a husband.
|
|
BEATRICE Not till God make men of some other metal than earth.
50 Would it not grieve a woman to be overmastered with a
piece of valiant dust? To make an account of her life to a clod
of wayward marl? No, uncle, I’ll none. Adam’s sons are my
brethren, and truly I hold it a sin to match in my kindred.
|
BEATRICE Not till God make men of some other metal than earth.
Would it not grieve a woman to be overmastered with a
piece of valiant dust? To make an account of her life to a clod
of wayward marl? No, uncle, I’ll none. Adam’s sons are my
brethren, and truly I hold it a sin to match in my kindred.
|
|
LEONATO (to HERO) Daughter, remember what I told you. If the
55 Prince do solicit you in that kind, you know your answer.
|
LEONATO (to HERO) Daughter, remember what I told you. If the
Prince do solicit you in that kind, you know your answer.
|
|
BEATRICE The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you be not wooed
in good time. If the Prince be too important, tell him there
is measure in everything, and so dance out the answer. For
hear me, Hero, wooing, wedding, and repenting is as a
60 Scotch jig, a measure, and a cinquepace. The first suit is hot
and hasty like a Scotch jig, and full as fantastical; the
wedding, mannerly modest as a measure, full of state and
ancientry; and then comes repentance, and with his bad
legs falls into the cinquepace faster and faster till he sink
65 into his grave.
|
BEATRICE The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you be not wooed
in good time. If the Prince be too important, tell him there
is measure in everything, and so dance out the answer. For
hear me, Hero, wooing, wedding, and repenting is as a
Scotch jig, a measure, and a cinquepace. The first suit is hot
and hasty like a Scotch jig, and full as fantastical; the
wedding, mannerly modest as a measure, full of state and
ancientry; and then comes repentance, and with his bad
legs falls into the cinquepace faster and faster till he sink
into his grave.
|
|
LEONATO Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly.
|
LEONATO Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly.
|
|
BEATRICE I have a good eye, uncle. I can see a church by daylight.
|
BEATRICE I have a good eye, uncle. I can see a church by daylight.
|
|
LEONATO The revelers are entering, brother. Make good room.
|
LEONATO The revelers are entering, brother. Make good room.
|
|
Enter DON PEDRO , CLAUDIO , BENEDICK , BALTHASAR , DON JOHN , BORACHIO , MARGARET , URSULA and others, masked
|
Enter DON PEDRO , CLAUDIO , BENEDICK , BALTHASAR , DON JOHN , BORACHIO , MARGARET , URSULA and others, masked
|
|
DON PEDRO Lady, will you walk a bout with your friend?
|
DON PEDRO Lady, will you walk a bout with your friend?
|
|
They begin to dance
|
They begin to dance
|
|
HERO 70 So you walk softly, and look sweetly, and say nothing, I am
yours for the walk, and especially when I walk away.
|
HERO So you walk softly, and look sweetly, and say nothing, I am
yours for the walk, and especially when I walk away.
|
|
DON PEDRO With me in your company?
|
DON PEDRO With me in your company?
|
|
HERO I may say so when I please.
|
HERO I may say so when I please.
|
|
DON PEDRO And when please you to say so?
|
DON PEDRO And when please you to say so?
|
|
HERO 75 When I like your favor, for God defend the lute should be
like the case!
|
HERO When I like your favor, for God defend the lute should be
like the case!
|
|
DON PEDRO My visor is Philemon’s roof; within the house is Jove.
|
DON PEDRO My visor is Philemon’s roof; within the house is Jove.
|
|
HERO Why, then, your visor should be thatched.
|
HERO Why, then, your visor should be thatched.
|
|
DON PEDRO Speak low if you speak love.
|
DON PEDRO Speak low if you speak love.
|
|
They move aside. BALTHASAR and MARGARET move forward
|
They move aside. BALTHASAR and MARGARET move forward
|
|
BALTHASAR 80 Well, I would you did like me.
|
BALTHASAR Well, I would you did like me.
|
|
MARGARET So would not I for your own sake, for I have many ill qualities.
|
MARGARET So would not I for your own sake, for I have many ill qualities.
|
|
BALTHASAR Which is one?
|
BALTHASAR Which is one?
|
|
MARGARET I say my prayers aloud.
|
MARGARET I say my prayers aloud.
|
|
BALTHASAR I love you the better; the hearers may cry “Amen.”
|
BALTHASAR I love you the better; the hearers may cry “Amen.”
|
|
MARGARET 85 God match me with a good dancer!
|
MARGARET God match me with a good dancer!
|
|
BALTHASAR Amen.
|
BALTHASAR Amen.
|
|
MARGARET And God keep him out of my sight when the dance is done!
Answer, clerk.
|
MARGARET And God keep him out of my sight when the dance is done!
Answer, clerk.
|
|
BALTHASAR No more words. The clerk is answered.
|
BALTHASAR No more words. The clerk is answered.
|
|
They move aside. URSULA and ANTONIO move forward.
|
They move aside. URSULA and ANTONIO move forward.
|
|
URSULA 90 I know you well enough. You are Signor Antonio.
|
URSULA I know you well enough. You are Signor Antonio.
|
|
ANTONIO At a word, I am not.
|
ANTONIO At a word, I am not.
|
|
URSULA I know you by the waggling of your head.
|
URSULA I know you by the waggling of your head.
|
|
ANTONIO To tell you true, I counterfeit him.
|
ANTONIO To tell you true, I counterfeit him.
|
|
URSULA You could never do him so ill-well unless you were the very
he.
|
URSULA You could never do him so ill-well unless you were the very
he.
|
|
ANTONIO At a word, I am not.
|
ANTONIO At a word, I am not.
|
|
URSULA Come, come, do you think I do not know you by your
excellent wit? Can virtue hide itself? Go to, mum, you are
100 he. Graces will appear, and there’s an end.
|
URSULA Come, come, do you think I do not know you by your
excellent wit? Can virtue hide itself? Go to, mum, you are
he. Graces will appear, and there’s an end.
|
|
They move aside. BENEDICK and BEATRICE move forward.
|
They move aside. BENEDICK and BEATRICE move forward.
|
|
BEATRICE Will you not tell me who told you so?
|
BEATRICE Will you not tell me who told you so?
|
|
BENEDICK No, you shall pardon me.
|
BENEDICK No, you shall pardon me.
|
|
BEATRICE Nor will you not tell me who you are?
|
BEATRICE Nor will you not tell me who you are?
|
|
BENEDICK Not now.
|
BENEDICK Not now.
|
|
BEATRICE 105 That I was disdainful and that I had my good wit out of The
Hundred Merry Tales! Well this was Signor Benedick that
said so.
|
BEATRICE That I was disdainful and that I had my good wit out of The
Hundred Merry Tales! Well this was Signor Benedick that
said so.
|
|
BENEDICK What’s he?
|
BENEDICK What’s he?
|
|
BEATRICE I am sure you know him well enough.
|
BEATRICE I am sure you know him well enough.
|
|
BENEDICK 110 Not I, believe me.
|
BENEDICK Not I, believe me.
|
|
BEATRICE Did he never make you laugh?
|
BEATRICE Did he never make you laugh?
|
|
BENEDICK I pray you, what is he?
|
BENEDICK I pray you, what is he?
|
|
BEATRICE Why, he is the Prince’s jester, a very dull fool, only his gift
is in devising impossible slanders. None but libertines
115 delight in him, and the commendation is not in his wit but
in his villainy, for he both pleases men and angers them,
and then they laugh at him and beat him. I am sure he is in
the fleet. I would he had boarded me.
|
BEATRICE Why, he is the Prince’s jester, a very dull fool, only his gift
is in devising impossible slanders. None but libertines
delight in him, and the commendation is not in his wit but
in his villainy, for he both pleases men and angers them,
and then they laugh at him and beat him. I am sure he is in
the fleet. I would he had boarded me.
|
|
BENEDICK When I know the gentleman, I’ll tell him what you say.
|
BENEDICK When I know the gentleman, I’ll tell him what you say.
|
|
BEATRICE peradventure not marked or not laughed at, strikes him into
melancholy, and then there’s a partridge wing saved, for the
fool will eat no supper that night.
|
BEATRICE peradventure not marked or not laughed at, strikes him into
melancholy, and then there’s a partridge wing saved, for the
fool will eat no supper that night.
|
|
Music for the dance
|
Music for the dance
|
|
We must follow the leaders.
|
We must follow the leaders.
|
|
BENEDICK 125 In every good thing.
|
BENEDICK In every good thing.
|
|
BEATRICE Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave them at the next
turning.
|
BEATRICE Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave them at the next
turning.
|
|
Dance, then exeunt all except DON JOHN , BORACHIO , and CLAUDIO
|
Dance, then exeunt all except DON JOHN , BORACHIO , and CLAUDIO
|
|
DON JOHN (to BORACHIO) Sure my brother is amorous on Hero, and
hath withdrawn her father to break with him about it. The
130 ladies follow her, and but one visor remains.
|
DON JOHN (to BORACHIO) Sure my brother is amorous on Hero, and
hath withdrawn her father to break with him about it. The
ladies follow her, and but one visor remains.
|
|
BORACHIO And that is Claudio. I know him by his bearing.
|
BORACHIO And that is Claudio. I know him by his bearing.
|
|
DON JOHN (to CLAUDIO) Are not you Signor Benedick?
|
DON JOHN (to CLAUDIO) Are not you Signor Benedick?
|
|
CLAUDIO You know me well. I am he.
|
CLAUDIO You know me well. I am he.
|
|
DON JOHN Signor, you are very near my brother in his love. He is
135 enamored on Hero. I pray you, dissuade him from her. She
is no equal for his birth. You may do the part of an honest
man in it.
|
DON JOHN Signor, you are very near my brother in his love. He is
enamored on Hero. I pray you, dissuade him from her. She
is no equal for his birth. You may do the part of an honest
man in it.
|
|
CLAUDIO How know you he loves her?
|
CLAUDIO How know you he loves her?
|
|
DON JOHN I heard him swear his affection.
|
DON JOHN I heard him swear his affection.
|
|
BORACHIO 140 So did I too, and he swore he would marry her tonight.
|
BORACHIO So did I too, and he swore he would marry her tonight.
|
|
DON JOHN Come, let us to the banquet.
|
DON JOHN Come, let us to the banquet.
|
|
Exeunt DON JOHN and BORACHIO
|
Exeunt DON JOHN and BORACHIO
|
|
CLAUDIO (unmasking)
Thus answer I in the name of Benedick,
But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio.
145 'Tis certain so, the Prince woos for himself.
Friendship is constant in all other things
Save in the office and affairs of love.
Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues.
Let every eye nogetiate for itself
150 And trust no agent, for beauty is a witch
Against whose charms faith melteth into blood.
This is an accident of hourly proof,
Which I mistrusted not. Farewell, therefore, Hero.
|
CLAUDIO (unmasking)
Thus answer I in the name of Benedick,
But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio.
'Tis certain so, the Prince woos for himself.
Friendship is constant in all other things
Save in the office and affairs of love.
Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues.
Let every eye nogetiate for itself
And trust no agent, for beauty is a witch
Against whose charms faith melteth into blood.
This is an accident of hourly proof,
Which I mistrusted not. Farewell, therefore, Hero.
|
|
Enter BENEDICK
|
Enter BENEDICK
|
|
BENEDICK Count Claudio?
|
BENEDICK Count Claudio?
|
|
CLAUDIO 155 Yea, the same.
|
CLAUDIO Yea, the same.
|
|
BENEDICK Come, will you go with me?
|
BENEDICK Come, will you go with me?
|
|
CLAUDIO Whither?
|
CLAUDIO Whither?
|
|
BENEDICK Even to the next willow, about your own business, county.
What fashion will you wear the garland of? About your
160 neck like an usurer’s chain? Or under your arm like a
lieutenant’s scarf? You must wear it one way, for the Prince
hath gat your Hero.
|
BENEDICK Even to the next willow, about your own business, county.
What fashion will you wear the garland of? About your
neck like an usurer’s chain? Or under your arm like a
lieutenant’s scarf? You must wear it one way, for the Prince
hath gat your Hero.
|
|
CLAUDIO I wish him joy of her.
|
CLAUDIO I wish him joy of her.
|
|
BENEDICK Why, that’s spoken like an honest drover; so they sell
165 bullocks. But did you think the Prince would have served
you thus?
|
BENEDICK Why, that’s spoken like an honest drover; so they sell
bullocks. But did you think the Prince would have served
you thus?
|
|
CLAUDIO I pray you, leave me.
|
CLAUDIO I pray you, leave me.
|
|
BENEDICK Ho, now you strike like the blind man. 'Twas the boy that
stole your meat, and you’ll beat the post.
|
BENEDICK Ho, now you strike like the blind man. 'Twas the boy that
stole your meat, and you’ll beat the post.
|
|
CLAUDIO 170 If it will not be, I’ll leave you.
|
CLAUDIO If it will not be, I’ll leave you.
|
|
Exit
|
Exit
|
|
BENEDICK Alas, poor hurt fowl, now will he creep into sedges. But that
my Lady Beatrice should know me, and not know me! The
Prince’s fool! Ha, it may be I go under that title because I am
merry. Yea, but so I am apt to do myself wrong. I am not so
175 reputed! It is the base, though bitter, disposition of Beatrice
that puts the world into her person and so gives me out.
Well, I’ll be revenged as I may.
|
BENEDICK Alas, poor hurt fowl, now will he creep into sedges. But that
my Lady Beatrice should know me, and not know me! The
Prince’s fool! Ha, it may be I go under that title because I am
merry. Yea, but so I am apt to do myself wrong. I am not so
reputed! It is the base, though bitter, disposition of Beatrice
that puts the world into her person and so gives me out.
Well, I’ll be revenged as I may.
|
|
Enter DON PEDRO
|
Enter DON PEDRO
|
|
DON PEDRO Now, Signior, where’s the Count? Did you see him?
|
DON PEDRO Now, Signior, where’s the Count? Did you see him?
|
|
BENEDICK Troth, my lord, I have played the part of Lady Fame. I
180 found him here as melancholy as a lodge in a warren. I told
him, and I think I told him true, that your Grace had got the
goodwill of this young lady, and I offered him my company
to a willow tree, either to make him a garland, as being
forsaken, or to bind him up a rod, as being worthy to be
185 whipped.
|
BENEDICK Troth, my lord, I have played the part of Lady Fame. I
found him here as melancholy as a lodge in a warren. I told
him, and I think I told him true, that your Grace had got the
goodwill of this young lady, and I offered him my company
to a willow tree, either to make him a garland, as being
forsaken, or to bind him up a rod, as being worthy to be
whipped.
|
|
DON PEDRO To be whipped? What’s his fault?
|
DON PEDRO To be whipped? What’s his fault?
|
|
BENEDICK The flat transgression of a schoolboy who, being overjoyed
with finding a birds' nest, shows it his companion, and he
steals it.
|
BENEDICK The flat transgression of a schoolboy who, being overjoyed
with finding a birds' nest, shows it his companion, and he
steals it.
|
|
DON PEDRO 190 Wilt thou make a trust a transgression? The transgression
is in the stealer.
|
DON PEDRO Wilt thou make a trust a transgression? The transgression
is in the stealer.
|
|
BENEDICK Yet it had not been amiss the rod had been made, and the
garland too, for the garland he might have worn himself
and the rod he might have bestowed on you, who, as I take
195 it, have stolen his birds' nest.
|
BENEDICK Yet it had not been amiss the rod had been made, and the
garland too, for the garland he might have worn himself
and the rod he might have bestowed on you, who, as I take
it, have stolen his birds' nest.
|
|
DON PEDRO I will but teach them to sing and restore them to the owner.
|
DON PEDRO I will but teach them to sing and restore them to the owner.
|
|
BENEDICK If their singing answer your saying, by my faith, you say
honestly.
|
BENEDICK If their singing answer your saying, by my faith, you say
honestly.
|
|
DON PEDRO The Lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to you. The gentleman
200 that danced with her told her she is much wronged by you.
|
DON PEDRO The Lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to you. The gentleman
that danced with her told her she is much wronged by you.
|
|
BENEDICK O, she misused me past the endurance of a block! An oak
but with one green leaf on it would have answered her. My
very visor began to assume life and scold with her. She told
me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the Prince’s
205 jester, that I was duller than a great thaw, huddling jest
upon jest with such impossible conveyance upon me that I
stood like a man at a mark with a whole army shooting at
me. She speaks poniards, and every word stabs. If her
breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no
210 living near her; she would infect to the north star. I would
not marry her, though she were endowed with all that
Adam had left him before he transgressed. She would have
made Hercules have turned spit, yea, and have cleft his club
to make the fire, too. Come, talk not of her. You shall find
215 her the infernal Ate in good apparel. I would to God some
scholar would conjure her, for certainly, while she is here,
a man may live as quiet in hell as in a sanctuary, and people
sin upon purpose because they would go thither. So indeed
all disquiet, horror and perturbation follows her.
|
BENEDICK O, she misused me past the endurance of a block! An oak
but with one green leaf on it would have answered her. My
very visor began to assume life and scold with her. She told
me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the Prince’s
jester, that I was duller than a great thaw, huddling jest
upon jest with such impossible conveyance upon me that I
stood like a man at a mark with a whole army shooting at
me. She speaks poniards, and every word stabs. If her
breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no
living near her; she would infect to the north star. I would
not marry her, though she were endowed with all that
Adam had left him before he transgressed. She would have
made Hercules have turned spit, yea, and have cleft his club
to make the fire, too. Come, talk not of her. You shall find
her the infernal Ate in good apparel. I would to God some
scholar would conjure her, for certainly, while she is here,
a man may live as quiet in hell as in a sanctuary, and people
sin upon purpose because they would go thither. So indeed
all disquiet, horror and perturbation follows her.
|
|
Enter CLAUDIO , BEATRICE , HERO , and LEONATO
|
Enter CLAUDIO , BEATRICE , HERO , and LEONATO
|
|
DON PEDRO 220 Look, here she comes.
|
DON PEDRO Look, here she comes.
|
|
BENEDICK Will your grace command me any service to the world’s
end? I will go on the slightest errand now to the Antipodes
that you can devise to send me on. I will fetch you a
toothpicker now from the furthest inch of Asia, bring you
great Cham’s beard, do you any embassage to the Pygmies,
rather than hold three words' conference with this harpy.
You have no employment for me?
|
BENEDICK Will your grace command me any service to the world’s
end? I will go on the slightest errand now to the Antipodes
that you can devise to send me on. I will fetch you a
toothpicker now from the furthest inch of Asia, bring you
great Cham’s beard, do you any embassage to the Pygmies,
rather than hold three words' conference with this harpy.
You have no employment for me?
|
|
DON PEDRO None but to desire your good company.
|
DON PEDRO None but to desire your good company.
|
|
BENEDICK Lady Tongue!
|
BENEDICK Lady Tongue!
|
|
Exit
|
Exit
|
|
DON PEDRO (to BEATRICE) Come, lady, come, you have lost the heart of
Signior Benedick.
|
DON PEDRO (to BEATRICE) Come, lady, come, you have lost the heart of
Signior Benedick.
|
|
BEATRICE Indeed, my lord, he lent it me awhile, and I gave him use for
235 it, a double heart for his single one. Marry, once before he
won it of me with false dice. Therefore your Grace may well
say I have lost it.
|
BEATRICE Indeed, my lord, he lent it me awhile, and I gave him use for
it, a double heart for his single one. Marry, once before he
won it of me with false dice. Therefore your Grace may well
say I have lost it.
|
|
DON PEDRO You have put him down, lady, you have put him down.
|
DON PEDRO You have put him down, lady, you have put him down.
|
|
BEATRICE So I would not he should do me, my lord, lest I should prove
240 the mother of fools. I have brought Count Claudio, whom
you sent me to seek.
|
BEATRICE So I would not he should do me, my lord, lest I should prove
the mother of fools. I have brought Count Claudio, whom
you sent me to seek.
|
|
DON PEDRO Why, how now, Count, wherefore are you sad?
|
DON PEDRO Why, how now, Count, wherefore are you sad?
|
|
CLAUDIO Not sad, my lord.
|
CLAUDIO Not sad, my lord.
|
|
DON PEDRO How then, sick?
|
DON PEDRO How then, sick?
|
|
CLAUDIO 245 Neither, my lord.
|
CLAUDIO Neither, my lord.
|
|
BEATRICE The Count is neither sad, nor sick, nor merry, nor well, but
civil count, civil as an orange, and something of that jealous
complexion.
|
BEATRICE The Count is neither sad, nor sick, nor merry, nor well, but
civil count, civil as an orange, and something of that jealous
complexion.
|
|
DON PEDRO I' faith, lady, I think your blazon to be true, though, I’ll be
have wooed in thy name, and fair Hero is won. I have broke
with her father and his goodwill obtained. Name the day of
marriage, and God give thee joy.
|
DON PEDRO I' faith, lady, I think your blazon to be true, though, I’ll be
have wooed in thy name, and fair Hero is won. I have broke
with her father and his goodwill obtained. Name the day of
marriage, and God give thee joy.
|
|
LEONATO Count, take of me my daughter, and with her my fortunes.
to it.
|
LEONATO Count, take of me my daughter, and with her my fortunes.
to it.
|
|
BEATRICE Speak, Count, ’tis your cue.
|
BEATRICE Speak, Count, ’tis your cue.
|
|
CLAUDIO Silence is the perfectest herald of joy. I were but little happy
if I could say how much.—Lady, as you are mine, I am
260 yours. I give away myself for you and dote upon the
exchange.
|
CLAUDIO Silence is the perfectest herald of joy. I were but little happy
if I could say how much.—Lady, as you are mine, I am
yours. I give away myself for you and dote upon the
exchange.
|
|
BEATRICE Speak, cousin, or if you cannot, stop his mouth with a kiss
and let not him speak neither.
|
BEATRICE Speak, cousin, or if you cannot, stop his mouth with a kiss
and let not him speak neither.
|
|
DON PEDRO In faith, lady, you have a merry heart.
|
DON PEDRO In faith, lady, you have a merry heart.
|
|
BEATRICE 265 Yea, my lord. I thank it, poor fool, it keeps on the windy side
of care. My cousin tells him in his ear that he is in her heart.
|
BEATRICE Yea, my lord. I thank it, poor fool, it keeps on the windy side
of care. My cousin tells him in his ear that he is in her heart.
|
|
CLAUDIO And so she doth, cousin.
|
CLAUDIO And so she doth, cousin.
|
|
BEATRICE Good Lord for alliance! Thus goes everyone to the world
but I, and I am sunburnt. I may sit in a corner and cry,
270 “Heigh-ho for a husband!”
|
BEATRICE Good Lord for alliance! Thus goes everyone to the world
but I, and I am sunburnt. I may sit in a corner and cry,
“Heigh-ho for a husband!”
|
|
DON PEDRO Lady Beatrice, I will get you one.
|
DON PEDRO Lady Beatrice, I will get you one.
|
|
BEATRICE I would rather have one of your father’s getting. Hath your
grace ne'er a brother like you? Your father got excellent
husbands, if a maid could come by them.
|
BEATRICE I would rather have one of your father’s getting. Hath your
grace ne'er a brother like you? Your father got excellent
husbands, if a maid could come by them.
|
|
DON PEDRO 275 Will you have me, lady?
|
DON PEDRO Will you have me, lady?
|
|
BEATRICE No, my lord, unless I might have another for working days.
Your Grace is too costly to wear every day. But I beseech
your Grace pardon me. I was born to speak all mirth and no
matter.
|
BEATRICE No, my lord, unless I might have another for working days.
Your Grace is too costly to wear every day. But I beseech
your Grace pardon me. I was born to speak all mirth and no
matter.
|
|
DON PEDRO 280 Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best
becomes you, for out o' question you were born in a merry
hour.
|
DON PEDRO Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best
becomes you, for out o' question you were born in a merry
hour.
|
|
BEATRICE No, sure, my lord, my mother cried, but then there was a
star danced, and under that was I born.—Cousins, God
285 give you joy!
|
BEATRICE No, sure, my lord, my mother cried, but then there was a
star danced, and under that was I born.—Cousins, God
give you joy!
|
|
LEONATO Niece, will you look to those things I told you of?
|
LEONATO Niece, will you look to those things I told you of?
|
|
BEATRICE I cry you mercy, uncle.—By your Grace’s pardon.
|
BEATRICE I cry you mercy, uncle.—By your Grace’s pardon.
|
|
Exit
|
Exit
|
|
DON PEDRO By my troth, a pleasant-spirited lady.
|
DON PEDRO By my troth, a pleasant-spirited lady.
|
|
LEONATO There’s little of the melancholy element in her, my lord. She
290 is never sad but when she sleeps, and not ever sad then, for
I have heard my daughter say she hath often dreamed of
unhappiness and waked herself with laughing.
|
LEONATO There’s little of the melancholy element in her, my lord. She
is never sad but when she sleeps, and not ever sad then, for
I have heard my daughter say she hath often dreamed of
unhappiness and waked herself with laughing.
|
|
DON PEDRO She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband.
|
DON PEDRO She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband.
|
|
LEONATO Oh, by no means. She mocks all her wooers out of suit.
|
LEONATO Oh, by no means. She mocks all her wooers out of suit.
|
|
DON PEDRO 295 She were an excellent wife for Benedict.
|
DON PEDRO She were an excellent wife for Benedict.
|
|
LEONATO O Lord, my lord, if they were but a week married, they
would talk themselves mad.
|
LEONATO O Lord, my lord, if they were but a week married, they
would talk themselves mad.
|
|
DON PEDRO County Claudio, when mean you to go to church?
|
DON PEDRO County Claudio, when mean you to go to church?
|
|
CLAUDIO Tomorrow, my lord. Time goes on crutches till love have all
300 his rites.
|
CLAUDIO Tomorrow, my lord. Time goes on crutches till love have all
his rites.
|
|
LEONATO Not till Monday, my dear son, which is hence a just
sevennight, and a time too brief, too, to have all things
answer my mind.
|
LEONATO Not till Monday, my dear son, which is hence a just
sevennight, and a time too brief, too, to have all things
answer my mind.
|
|
DON PEDRO (to CLAUDIO) Come, you shake the head at so long a
305 breathing, but I warrant thee, Claudio, the time shall not go
dully by us. I will in the interim undertake one of Hercules'
labors, which is to bring Signor Benedick and the Lady
Beatrice into a mountain of affection, th' one with th' other.
I would fain have it a match, and I doubt not but to fashion
310 it, if you three will but minister such assistance as I shall
give you direction.
|
DON PEDRO (to CLAUDIO) Come, you shake the head at so long a
breathing, but I warrant thee, Claudio, the time shall not go
dully by us. I will in the interim undertake one of Hercules'
labors, which is to bring Signor Benedick and the Lady
Beatrice into a mountain of affection, th' one with th' other.
I would fain have it a match, and I doubt not but to fashion
it, if you three will but minister such assistance as I shall
give you direction.
|
|
LEONATO My lord, I am for you, though it cost me ten nights'
watchings.
|
LEONATO My lord, I am for you, though it cost me ten nights'
watchings.
|
|
CLAUDIO And I, my lord.
|
CLAUDIO And I, my lord.
|
|
DON PEDRO 315 And you too, gentle Hero?
|
DON PEDRO And you too, gentle Hero?
|
|
HERO I will do any modest office, my lord, to help my cousin to a
good husband.
|
HERO I will do any modest office, my lord, to help my cousin to a
good husband.
|
|
DON PEDRO And Benedick is not the unhopefulest husband that I know.
Thus far can I praise him: he is of a noble strain, of approved
320 valor, and confirmed honesty. I will teach you how to humor
your cousin that she shall fall in love with Benedick.—And
I, with your two helps, will so practice on Benedick
that, in despite of his quick wit and his queasy stomach, he
shall fall in love with Beatrice. If we can do this, Cupid is no
325 longer an archer; his glory shall be ours, for we are the only
love gods. Go in with me, and I will tell you my drift.
|
DON PEDRO And Benedick is not the unhopefulest husband that I know.
Thus far can I praise him: he is of a noble strain, of approved
valor, and confirmed honesty. I will teach you how to humor
your cousin that she shall fall in love with Benedick.—And
I, with your two helps, will so practice on Benedick
that, in despite of his quick wit and his queasy stomach, he
shall fall in love with Beatrice. If we can do this, Cupid is no
longer an archer; his glory shall be ours, for we are the only
love gods. Go in with me, and I will tell you my drift.
|
|
Exeunt
|
Exeunt
|
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