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No Fear Translations

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Enter BENEDICK
Enter BENEDICK

BENEDICK

Boy!

BENEDICK

Boy!
Enter BOY
Enter BOY

BOY

Signior?

BOY

Signior?

BENEDICK

In my chamber window lies a book. Bring it hither to me in
the orchard.

BENEDICK

In my chamber window lies a book. Bring it hither to me in
the orchard.

BOY

5 I am here already, sir.

BOY

I am here already, sir.

BENEDICK

I know that, but I would have thee hence and here again.

BENEDICK

I know that, but I would have thee hence and here again.
Exit BOY
Exit BOY
I do much wonder that one man, seeing how much another
man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviors to love, will,
after he hath laughed at such shallow follies in others,
become the argument of his own scorn by falling in love—
and such a man is Claudio. I have known when there was no
music with him but the drum and the fife, and now had he
rather hear the tabor and the pipe. I have known when he
would have walked ten mile afoot to see a good armor, and
15 now will he lie ten nights awake carving the fashion of a new
doublet. He was wont to speak plain and to the purpose,
like an honest man and a soldier, and now is he turned
orthography; his words are a very fantastical banquet, just
so many strange dishes. May I be so converted and see with
20 these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not.
I do much wonder that one man, seeing how much another
man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviors to love, will,
after he hath laughed at such shallow follies in others,
become the argument of his own scorn by falling in love—
and such a man is Claudio. I have known when there was no
music with him but the drum and the fife, and now had he
rather hear the tabor and the pipe. I have known when he
would have walked ten mile afoot to see a good armor, and
now will he lie ten nights awake carving the fashion of a new
doublet. He was wont to speak plain and to the purpose,
like an honest man and a soldier, and now is he turned
orthography; his words are a very fantastical banquet, just
so many strange dishes. May I be so converted and see with
these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not.
I will not be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster,
but I’ll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster of me,
he shall never make me such a fool. One woman is fair, yet
I am well; another is wise, yet I am well; another virtuous,
25 yet I am well; but till all graces be in one woman, one
woman shall not come in my grace. Rich she shall be, that’s
certain; wise, or I’ll none; virtuous, or I’ll never cheapen
her; fair, or I’ll ever look on her; mild, or come not near
me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good discourse, an
30 excellent musician, and her hair shall be of what color it
please God. Ha! The Prince and Monsieur Love! I will hide
me in the arbor.
I will not be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster,
but I’ll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster of me,
he shall never make me such a fool. One woman is fair, yet
I am well; another is wise, yet I am well; another virtuous,
yet I am well; but till all graces be in one woman, one
woman shall not come in my grace. Rich she shall be, that’s
certain; wise, or I’ll none; virtuous, or I’ll never cheapen
her; fair, or I’ll ever look on her; mild, or come not near
me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good discourse, an
excellent musician, and her hair shall be of what color it
please God. Ha! The Prince and Monsieur Love! I will hide
me in the arbor.
He hides
He hides
Enter DON PEDRO CLAUDIO , and LEONATO , and BALTHASAR with music
Enter DON PEDRO CLAUDIO , and LEONATO , and BALTHASAR with music

DON PEDRO

Come, shall we hear this music?

DON PEDRO

Come, shall we hear this music?

CLAUDIO

Yea, my good lord. How still the evening is,
35 As hushed on purpose to grace harmony!

CLAUDIO

Yea, my good lord. How still the evening is,
As hushed on purpose to grace harmony!

DON PEDRO

(aside to CLAUDIO)
See you where Benedick hath hid himself?

DON PEDRO

(aside to CLAUDIO)
See you where Benedick hath hid himself?

CLAUDIO

(aside to DON PEDRO)
O, very well, my lord. The music ended,
40 We’ll fit the kid-fox with a pennyworth.

CLAUDIO

(aside to DON PEDRO)
O, very well, my lord. The music ended,
We’ll fit the kid-fox with a pennyworth.

DON PEDRO

Come, Balthasar, we’ll hear that song again.

DON PEDRO

Come, Balthasar, we’ll hear that song again.

BALTHASAR

O, good my lord, tax not so bad a voice
To slander music anymore than once.

BALTHASAR

O, good my lord, tax not so bad a voice
To slander music anymore than once.

DON PEDRO

It is the witness still of excellency
45 To put a strange face on his own perfection.
I pray thee, sing, and let me woo no more.

DON PEDRO

It is the witness still of excellency
To put a strange face on his own perfection.
I pray thee, sing, and let me woo no more.

BALTHASAR

Because you talk of wooing, I will sing,
Since many a wooer doth commence his suit
To her he thinks not worthy, yet he woos,
50 Yet will he swear he loves.

BALTHASAR

Because you talk of wooing, I will sing,
Since many a wooer doth commence his suit
To her he thinks not worthy, yet he woos,
Yet will he swear he loves.

DON PEDRO

Nay, pray thee, come,
Or, if thou wilt hold longer argument,
Do it in notes.

DON PEDRO

Nay, pray thee, come,
Or, if thou wilt hold longer argument,
Do it in notes.

BALTHASAR

Note this before my notes:
There’s not a note of mine that’s worth the noting.

BALTHASAR

Note this before my notes:
There’s not a note of mine that’s worth the noting.

DON PEDRO

Why, these are very crotchets that he speaks!
55 Note notes, forsooth, and nothing.

DON PEDRO

Why, these are very crotchets that he speaks!
Note notes, forsooth, and nothing.
Music plays
Music plays

BENEDICK

(aside) Now, divine air! Now is his soul ravished. Is it not
strange that sheeps' guts should hale souls out of men’s
bodies? Well, a horn for my money, when all’s done.

BENEDICK

(aside) Now, divine air! Now is his soul ravished. Is it not
strange that sheeps' guts should hale souls out of men’s
bodies? Well, a horn for my money, when all’s done.

BALTHASAR

(singing)
Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
Men were deceivers ever,
One foot in sea and one on shore,
To one thing constant never.
Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey, nonny nonny.
Sing no more ditties, sing no mo
Of dumps so dull and heavy.
The fraud of men was ever so,
Since summer first was leavy.
Then sigh not so, but let them go
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey, nonny nonny.

BALTHASAR

(singing)
Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
Men were deceivers ever,
One foot in sea and one on shore,
To one thing constant never.
Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey, nonny nonny.
Sing no more ditties, sing no mo
Of dumps so dull and heavy.
The fraud of men was ever so,
Since summer first was leavy.
Then sigh not so, but let them go
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey, nonny nonny.

DON PEDRO

60 By my troth, a good song.

DON PEDRO

By my troth, a good song.

BALTHASAR

And an ill singer, my lord.

BALTHASAR

And an ill singer, my lord.

DON PEDRO

Ha, no, no, faith, thou sing’st well enough for a shift.

DON PEDRO

Ha, no, no, faith, thou sing’st well enough for a shift.

BENEDICK

(aside) An he had been a dog that should have howled thus,
they would have hanged him. And I pray God his bad voice
65 bode no mischief. I had as lief have heard the night raven,
come what plague could have come after it.

BENEDICK

(aside) An he had been a dog that should have howled thus,
they would have hanged him. And I pray God his bad voice
bode no mischief. I had as lief have heard the night raven,
come what plague could have come after it.

DON PEDRO

Yea, marry, dost thou hear, Balthasar? I pray thee, get us
some excellent music, for tomorrow night we would have it
at the Lady Hero’s chamber window

DON PEDRO

Yea, marry, dost thou hear, Balthasar? I pray thee, get us
some excellent music, for tomorrow night we would have it
at the Lady Hero’s chamber window

BALTHASAR

70 The best I can, my lord.

BALTHASAR

The best I can, my lord.

DON PEDRO

Do so. Farewell.

DON PEDRO

Do so. Farewell.
Exit BALTHASAR
Exit BALTHASAR
Come hither, Leonato. What was it you told me of today,
that your niece Beatrice was in love with Signor Benedick?
Come hither, Leonato. What was it you told me of today,
that your niece Beatrice was in love with Signor Benedick?

CLAUDIO

Oh, ay. (aside to DON PEDRO) Stalk on, stalk on; the fowl
75 sits.—I did never think that lady would have loved any
man.

CLAUDIO

Oh, ay. (aside to DON PEDRO) Stalk on, stalk on; the fowl
sits.—I did never think that lady would have loved any
man.

LEONATO

No, nor I neither, but most wonderful that she should so
dote on Signor Benedick, whom she hath in all outward
behaviors seemed ever to abhor.

LEONATO

No, nor I neither, but most wonderful that she should so
dote on Signor Benedick, whom she hath in all outward
behaviors seemed ever to abhor.

BENEDICK

(aside) Is ’t possible? Sits the wind in that corner?

BENEDICK

(aside) Is ’t possible? Sits the wind in that corner?

LEONATO

By my troth, my lord, I cannot tell what to think of it, but
that she loves him with an enraged affection, it is past the
infinite of thought.

LEONATO

By my troth, my lord, I cannot tell what to think of it, but
that she loves him with an enraged affection, it is past the
infinite of thought.

DON PEDRO

May be she doth but counterfeit.

DON PEDRO

May be she doth but counterfeit.

CLAUDIO

85 Faith, like enough.

CLAUDIO

Faith, like enough.

LEONATO

O God! Counterfeit? There was never counterfeit of
passion came so near the life of passion as she discovers it.

LEONATO

O God! Counterfeit? There was never counterfeit of
passion came so near the life of passion as she discovers it.

DON PEDRO

Why, what effects of passion shows she?

DON PEDRO

Why, what effects of passion shows she?

CLAUDIO

(aside to LEONATO) Bait the hook well; this fish will bite.

CLAUDIO

(aside to LEONATO) Bait the hook well; this fish will bite.

LEONATO

90 What effects, my lord? She will sit you—you heard my
daughter tell you how.

LEONATO

What effects, my lord? She will sit you—you heard my
daughter tell you how.

CLAUDIO

She did indeed.

CLAUDIO

She did indeed.

DON PEDRO

How, how I pray you? You amaze me. I would have thought
her spirit had been invincible against all assaults of affection.

DON PEDRO

How, how I pray you? You amaze me. I would have thought
her spirit had been invincible against all assaults of affection.

LEONATO

95 I would have sworn it had, my lord, especially against
Benedick.

LEONATO

I would have sworn it had, my lord, especially against
Benedick.

BENEDICK

(aside) I should think this a gull but that the white-bearded
fellow speaks it. Knavery cannot, sure, hide himself in such
reverence.

BENEDICK

(aside) I should think this a gull but that the white-bearded
fellow speaks it. Knavery cannot, sure, hide himself in such
reverence.

CLAUDIO

(aside to DON PEDRO) He hath ta'en th' infection. Hold it up.

CLAUDIO

(aside to DON PEDRO) He hath ta'en th' infection. Hold it up.

DON PEDRO

Hath she made her affection known to Benedick?

DON PEDRO

Hath she made her affection known to Benedick?

LEONATO

No, and swears she never will. That’s her torment.

LEONATO

No, and swears she never will. That’s her torment.

CLAUDIO

'Tis true indeed, so your daughter says. “Shall I,” says she,
“that have so oft encountered him with scorn, write to him
105 that I love him?”

CLAUDIO

'Tis true indeed, so your daughter says. “Shall I,” says she,
“that have so oft encountered him with scorn, write to him
that I love him?”

LEONATO

This says she now when she is beginning to write to him, for
she’ll be up twenty times a night, and there will she sit in her
smock till she have writ a sheet of paper. My daughter tells
us all.

LEONATO

This says she now when she is beginning to write to him, for
she’ll be up twenty times a night, and there will she sit in her
smock till she have writ a sheet of paper. My daughter tells
us all.

CLAUDIO

110 Now you talk of a sheet of paper, I remember a pretty jest
your daughter told.

CLAUDIO

Now you talk of a sheet of paper, I remember a pretty jest
your daughter told.

LEONATO

Oh, when she had writ it and was reading it over, she found
“Benedick” and “Beatrice” between the sheet?

LEONATO

Oh, when she had writ it and was reading it over, she found
“Benedick” and “Beatrice” between the sheet?

CLAUDIO

That.

CLAUDIO

That.

LEONATO

115 O, she tore the letter into a thousand halfpence, railed at
herself that she should be so immodest to write to one that
she knew would flout her. “I measure him,” says she, “by
my own spirit, for I should flout him if he writ to me, yea,
though I love him, I should.”

LEONATO

O, she tore the letter into a thousand halfpence, railed at
herself that she should be so immodest to write to one that
she knew would flout her. “I measure him,” says she, “by
my own spirit, for I should flout him if he writ to me, yea,
though I love him, I should.”

CLAUDIO

120 Then down upon her knees she falls, weeps, sobs, beats her
heart, tears her hair, prays, curses: “O sweet Benedick! God
give me patience!”

CLAUDIO

Then down upon her knees she falls, weeps, sobs, beats her
heart, tears her hair, prays, curses: “O sweet Benedick! God
give me patience!”

LEONATO

She doth indeed, my daughter says so, and the ecstasy hath
so much overborne her that my daughter is sometime
125 afeared
she will do a desperate outrage to herself. It is very true.

LEONATO

She doth indeed, my daughter says so, and the ecstasy hath
so much overborne her that my daughter is sometime
afeared
she will do a desperate outrage to herself. It is very true.

DON PEDRO

It were good that Benedick knew of it by some other, if she
will not discover it.

DON PEDRO

It were good that Benedick knew of it by some other, if she
will not discover it.

CLAUDIO

To what end? He would make but a sport of it and torment
130 the poor lady worse.

CLAUDIO

To what end? He would make but a sport of it and torment
the poor lady worse.

DON PEDRO

An he should, it were an alms to hang him. She’s an
excellent sweet lady, and, out of all suspicion, she is
virtuous.

DON PEDRO

An he should, it were an alms to hang him. She’s an
excellent sweet lady, and, out of all suspicion, she is
virtuous.

CLAUDIO

And she is exceeding wise.

CLAUDIO

And she is exceeding wise.

DON PEDRO

135 In every thing but in loving Benedick.

DON PEDRO

In every thing but in loving Benedick.

LEONATO

Oh, my lord, wisdom and blood combating in so tender a
body, we have ten proofs to one that blood hath the victory.
I am sorry for her, as I have just cause, being her uncle and
her guardian.

LEONATO

Oh, my lord, wisdom and blood combating in so tender a
body, we have ten proofs to one that blood hath the victory.
I am sorry for her, as I have just cause, being her uncle and
her guardian.

DON PEDRO

140 I would she had bestowed this dotage on me. I would have
daffed all other respects and made her half myself. I pray
you tell Benedick of it and hear what he will say.

DON PEDRO

I would she had bestowed this dotage on me. I would have
daffed all other respects and made her half myself. I pray
you tell Benedick of it and hear what he will say.

LEONATO

Were it good, think you?

LEONATO

Were it good, think you?

CLAUDIO

Hero thinks surely she will die, for she says she will die if he
145 love her not, and she will die ere she make her love known,
and she will die if he woo her rather than she will bate one
breath of her accustomed crossness.

CLAUDIO

Hero thinks surely she will die, for she says she will die if he
love her not, and she will die ere she make her love known,
and she will die if he woo her rather than she will bate one
breath of her accustomed crossness.

DON PEDRO

She doth well. If she should make tender of her love, ’tis
very possible he’ll scorn it, for the man, as you know all,
150 hath a contemptible spirit.

DON PEDRO

She doth well. If she should make tender of her love, ’tis
very possible he’ll scorn it, for the man, as you know all,
hath a contemptible spirit.

CLAUDIO

He is a very proper man.

CLAUDIO

He is a very proper man.

DON PEDRO

He hath indeed a good outward happiness.

DON PEDRO

He hath indeed a good outward happiness.

CLAUDIO

Before God, and in my mind, very wise.

CLAUDIO

Before God, and in my mind, very wise.

DON PEDRO

He doth indeed show some sparks that are like wit.

DON PEDRO

He doth indeed show some sparks that are like wit.

CLAUDIO

155 And I take him to be valiant.

CLAUDIO

And I take him to be valiant.

DON PEDRO

As Hector, I assure you, and in the managing of quarrels
you may say he is wise, for either he avoids them with great
discretion or undertakes them with a most Christian-like
fear.

DON PEDRO

As Hector, I assure you, and in the managing of quarrels
you may say he is wise, for either he avoids them with great
discretion or undertakes them with a most Christian-like
fear.

LEONATO

160 If he do fear God, he must necessarily keep peace. If he
break the peace, he ought to enter into a quarrel with fear
and trembling.

LEONATO

If he do fear God, he must necessarily keep peace. If he
break the peace, he ought to enter into a quarrel with fear
and trembling.

DON PEDRO

And so will he do, for the man doth fear God, howsoever it
seems not in him by some large jests he will make. Well, I
165 am sorry for your niece. Shall we go seek Benedick and tell
him of her love?

DON PEDRO

And so will he do, for the man doth fear God, howsoever it
seems not in him by some large jests he will make. Well, I
am sorry for your niece. Shall we go seek Benedick and tell
him of her love?

CLAUDIO

Never tell him, my lord, let her wear it out with good
counsel.

CLAUDIO

Never tell him, my lord, let her wear it out with good
counsel.

LEONATO

Nay, that’s impossible. She may wear her heart out first.

LEONATO

Nay, that’s impossible. She may wear her heart out first.

DON PEDRO

170 Well, we will hear further of it by your daughter. Let it cool
the while. I love Benedick well, and I could wish he would
modestly examine himself to see how much he is unworthy
so good a lady.

DON PEDRO

Well, we will hear further of it by your daughter. Let it cool
the while. I love Benedick well, and I could wish he would
modestly examine himself to see how much he is unworthy
so good a lady.

LEONATO

My lord, will you walk? Dinner is ready.

LEONATO

My lord, will you walk? Dinner is ready.

CLAUDIO

(aside to DON PEDRO and LEONATO) If he do not dote on her
upon this, I will never trust my expectation.

CLAUDIO

(aside to DON PEDRO and LEONATO) If he do not dote on her
upon this, I will never trust my expectation.

DON PEDRO

(aside to LEONATO) Let there be the same net spread for her,
and that must your daughter and her gentlewomen carry.
The sport will be when they hold one an opinion of
another’s dotage, and no such matter. That’s the scene that
I would see, which will be merely a dumb show. Let us send
her to call him in to dinner.

DON PEDRO

(aside to LEONATO) Let there be the same net spread for her,
and that must your daughter and her gentlewomen carry.
The sport will be when they hold one an opinion of
another’s dotage, and no such matter. That’s the scene that
I would see, which will be merely a dumb show. Let us send
her to call him in to dinner.
Exeunt DON PEDRO CLAUDIO , and LEONATO
Exeunt DON PEDRO CLAUDIO , and LEONATO

BENEDICK

(coming forward) This can be no trick. The conference was
sadly borne; they have the truth of this from Hero; they
185 seem to pity the lady. It seems her affections have their full
bent. Love me? Why, it must be requited! I hear how I am
censured. They sy I will bear myself proudly if I perceive
the love come from her. They say, too, that she will rather
die than give any sign of affection. I did never think to
190 marry. I must not seem proud. Happy are they that hear
their detractions and can put them to mending. They say
the lady is fair; ’tis a truth, I can bear them witness. And
virtuous; ’tis so, I cannot reprove it. And wise, but for
loving me; by my troth, it is no addition to her wit, nor no
195 great argument of her folly, for I will be horribly in love
with her! I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants
of wit broken on me because I have railed so long against
marriage, but doth not the appetite alter? A man loves the
meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. Shall
200 quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the
brain awe a man from the career of his humor?
No! The world must be peopled. When I said I would die a
bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.
Here comes Beatrice. By this day, she’s a fair lady. I do spy
205 some marks of love in her.

BENEDICK

(coming forward) This can be no trick. The conference was
sadly borne; they have the truth of this from Hero; they
seem to pity the lady. It seems her affections have their full
bent. Love me? Why, it must be requited! I hear how I am
censured. They sy I will bear myself proudly if I perceive
the love come from her. They say, too, that she will rather
die than give any sign of affection. I did never think to
marry. I must not seem proud. Happy are they that hear
their detractions and can put them to mending. They say
the lady is fair; ’tis a truth, I can bear them witness. And
virtuous; ’tis so, I cannot reprove it. And wise, but for
loving me; by my troth, it is no addition to her wit, nor no
great argument of her folly, for I will be horribly in love
with her! I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants
of wit broken on me because I have railed so long against
marriage, but doth not the appetite alter? A man loves the
meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. Shall
quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the
brain awe a man from the career of his humor?
No! The world must be peopled. When I said I would die a
bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.
Here comes Beatrice. By this day, she’s a fair lady. I do spy
some marks of love in her.
Enter BEATRICE
Enter BEATRICE

BEATRICE

Against my will, I am sent to bid you come in to dinner.

BEATRICE

Against my will, I am sent to bid you come in to dinner.

BENEDICK

Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains.

BENEDICK

Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains.

BEATRICE

I took no more pains for those thanks than you take pains to
thank me. If it had been painful, I would not have come.

BEATRICE

I took no more pains for those thanks than you take pains to
thank me. If it had been painful, I would not have come.

BENEDICK

210 You take pleasure then in the message?

BENEDICK

You take pleasure then in the message?

BEATRICE

Yea, just so much as you may take upon a knife’s point and
choke a daw withal. You have no stomach, Signior. Fare you
well.

BEATRICE

Yea, just so much as you may take upon a knife’s point and
choke a daw withal. You have no stomach, Signior. Fare you
well.
Exit
Exit

BENEDICK

Ha! “Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to
dinner.” There’s a double meaning in that. “I took no more
pains for those thanks than you took pains to thank me.”
That’s as much as to say, “Any pains that I take for you is as
easy as thanks.” If I do not take pity of her, I am a villain.
If I do not love her, I am a Jew. I will go get her picture.

BENEDICK

Ha! “Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to
dinner.” There’s a double meaning in that. “I took no more
pains for those thanks than you took pains to thank me.”
That’s as much as to say, “Any pains that I take for you is as
easy as thanks.” If I do not take pity of her, I am a villain.
If I do not love her, I am a Jew. I will go get her picture.
Exit
Exit

Original Text

Modern Text

Enter BENEDICK
Enter BENEDICK

BENEDICK

Boy!

BENEDICK

Boy!
Enter BOY
Enter BOY

BOY

Signior?

BOY

Signior?

BENEDICK

In my chamber window lies a book. Bring it hither to me in
the orchard.

BENEDICK

In my chamber window lies a book. Bring it hither to me in
the orchard.

BOY

5 I am here already, sir.

BOY

I am here already, sir.

BENEDICK

I know that, but I would have thee hence and here again.

BENEDICK

I know that, but I would have thee hence and here again.
Exit BOY
Exit BOY
I do much wonder that one man, seeing how much another
man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviors to love, will,
after he hath laughed at such shallow follies in others,
become the argument of his own scorn by falling in love—
and such a man is Claudio. I have known when there was no
music with him but the drum and the fife, and now had he
rather hear the tabor and the pipe. I have known when he
would have walked ten mile afoot to see a good armor, and
15 now will he lie ten nights awake carving the fashion of a new
doublet. He was wont to speak plain and to the purpose,
like an honest man and a soldier, and now is he turned
orthography; his words are a very fantastical banquet, just
so many strange dishes. May I be so converted and see with
20 these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not.
I do much wonder that one man, seeing how much another
man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviors to love, will,
after he hath laughed at such shallow follies in others,
become the argument of his own scorn by falling in love—
and such a man is Claudio. I have known when there was no
music with him but the drum and the fife, and now had he
rather hear the tabor and the pipe. I have known when he
would have walked ten mile afoot to see a good armor, and
now will he lie ten nights awake carving the fashion of a new
doublet. He was wont to speak plain and to the purpose,
like an honest man and a soldier, and now is he turned
orthography; his words are a very fantastical banquet, just
so many strange dishes. May I be so converted and see with
these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not.
I will not be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster,
but I’ll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster of me,
he shall never make me such a fool. One woman is fair, yet
I am well; another is wise, yet I am well; another virtuous,
25 yet I am well; but till all graces be in one woman, one
woman shall not come in my grace. Rich she shall be, that’s
certain; wise, or I’ll none; virtuous, or I’ll never cheapen
her; fair, or I’ll ever look on her; mild, or come not near
me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good discourse, an
30 excellent musician, and her hair shall be of what color it
please God. Ha! The Prince and Monsieur Love! I will hide
me in the arbor.
I will not be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster,
but I’ll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster of me,
he shall never make me such a fool. One woman is fair, yet
I am well; another is wise, yet I am well; another virtuous,
yet I am well; but till all graces be in one woman, one
woman shall not come in my grace. Rich she shall be, that’s
certain; wise, or I’ll none; virtuous, or I’ll never cheapen
her; fair, or I’ll ever look on her; mild, or come not near
me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good discourse, an
excellent musician, and her hair shall be of what color it
please God. Ha! The Prince and Monsieur Love! I will hide
me in the arbor.
He hides
He hides
Enter DON PEDRO CLAUDIO , and LEONATO , and BALTHASAR with music
Enter DON PEDRO CLAUDIO , and LEONATO , and BALTHASAR with music

DON PEDRO

Come, shall we hear this music?

DON PEDRO

Come, shall we hear this music?

CLAUDIO

Yea, my good lord. How still the evening is,
35 As hushed on purpose to grace harmony!

CLAUDIO

Yea, my good lord. How still the evening is,
As hushed on purpose to grace harmony!

DON PEDRO

(aside to CLAUDIO)
See you where Benedick hath hid himself?

DON PEDRO

(aside to CLAUDIO)
See you where Benedick hath hid himself?

CLAUDIO

(aside to DON PEDRO)
O, very well, my lord. The music ended,
40 We’ll fit the kid-fox with a pennyworth.

CLAUDIO

(aside to DON PEDRO)
O, very well, my lord. The music ended,
We’ll fit the kid-fox with a pennyworth.

DON PEDRO

Come, Balthasar, we’ll hear that song again.

DON PEDRO

Come, Balthasar, we’ll hear that song again.

BALTHASAR

O, good my lord, tax not so bad a voice
To slander music anymore than once.

BALTHASAR

O, good my lord, tax not so bad a voice
To slander music anymore than once.

DON PEDRO

It is the witness still of excellency
45 To put a strange face on his own perfection.
I pray thee, sing, and let me woo no more.

DON PEDRO

It is the witness still of excellency
To put a strange face on his own perfection.
I pray thee, sing, and let me woo no more.

BALTHASAR

Because you talk of wooing, I will sing,
Since many a wooer doth commence his suit
To her he thinks not worthy, yet he woos,
50 Yet will he swear he loves.

BALTHASAR

Because you talk of wooing, I will sing,
Since many a wooer doth commence his suit
To her he thinks not worthy, yet he woos,
Yet will he swear he loves.

DON PEDRO

Nay, pray thee, come,
Or, if thou wilt hold longer argument,
Do it in notes.

DON PEDRO

Nay, pray thee, come,
Or, if thou wilt hold longer argument,
Do it in notes.

BALTHASAR

Note this before my notes:
There’s not a note of mine that’s worth the noting.

BALTHASAR

Note this before my notes:
There’s not a note of mine that’s worth the noting.

DON PEDRO

Why, these are very crotchets that he speaks!
55 Note notes, forsooth, and nothing.

DON PEDRO

Why, these are very crotchets that he speaks!
Note notes, forsooth, and nothing.
Music plays
Music plays

BENEDICK

(aside) Now, divine air! Now is his soul ravished. Is it not
strange that sheeps' guts should hale souls out of men’s
bodies? Well, a horn for my money, when all’s done.

BENEDICK

(aside) Now, divine air! Now is his soul ravished. Is it not
strange that sheeps' guts should hale souls out of men’s
bodies? Well, a horn for my money, when all’s done.

BALTHASAR

(singing)
Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
Men were deceivers ever,
One foot in sea and one on shore,
To one thing constant never.
Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey, nonny nonny.
Sing no more ditties, sing no mo
Of dumps so dull and heavy.
The fraud of men was ever so,
Since summer first was leavy.
Then sigh not so, but let them go
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey, nonny nonny.

BALTHASAR

(singing)
Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
Men were deceivers ever,
One foot in sea and one on shore,
To one thing constant never.
Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey, nonny nonny.
Sing no more ditties, sing no mo
Of dumps so dull and heavy.
The fraud of men was ever so,
Since summer first was leavy.
Then sigh not so, but let them go
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey, nonny nonny.

DON PEDRO

60 By my troth, a good song.

DON PEDRO

By my troth, a good song.

BALTHASAR

And an ill singer, my lord.

BALTHASAR

And an ill singer, my lord.

DON PEDRO

Ha, no, no, faith, thou sing’st well enough for a shift.

DON PEDRO

Ha, no, no, faith, thou sing’st well enough for a shift.

BENEDICK

(aside) An he had been a dog that should have howled thus,
they would have hanged him. And I pray God his bad voice
65 bode no mischief. I had as lief have heard the night raven,
come what plague could have come after it.

BENEDICK

(aside) An he had been a dog that should have howled thus,
they would have hanged him. And I pray God his bad voice
bode no mischief. I had as lief have heard the night raven,
come what plague could have come after it.

DON PEDRO

Yea, marry, dost thou hear, Balthasar? I pray thee, get us
some excellent music, for tomorrow night we would have it
at the Lady Hero’s chamber window

DON PEDRO

Yea, marry, dost thou hear, Balthasar? I pray thee, get us
some excellent music, for tomorrow night we would have it
at the Lady Hero’s chamber window

BALTHASAR

70 The best I can, my lord.

BALTHASAR

The best I can, my lord.

DON PEDRO

Do so. Farewell.

DON PEDRO

Do so. Farewell.
Exit BALTHASAR
Exit BALTHASAR
Come hither, Leonato. What was it you told me of today,
that your niece Beatrice was in love with Signor Benedick?
Come hither, Leonato. What was it you told me of today,
that your niece Beatrice was in love with Signor Benedick?

CLAUDIO

Oh, ay. (aside to DON PEDRO) Stalk on, stalk on; the fowl
75 sits.—I did never think that lady would have loved any
man.

CLAUDIO

Oh, ay. (aside to DON PEDRO) Stalk on, stalk on; the fowl
sits.—I did never think that lady would have loved any
man.

LEONATO

No, nor I neither, but most wonderful that she should so
dote on Signor Benedick, whom she hath in all outward
behaviors seemed ever to abhor.

LEONATO

No, nor I neither, but most wonderful that she should so
dote on Signor Benedick, whom she hath in all outward
behaviors seemed ever to abhor.

BENEDICK

(aside) Is ’t possible? Sits the wind in that corner?

BENEDICK

(aside) Is ’t possible? Sits the wind in that corner?

LEONATO

By my troth, my lord, I cannot tell what to think of it, but
that she loves him with an enraged affection, it is past the
infinite of thought.

LEONATO

By my troth, my lord, I cannot tell what to think of it, but
that she loves him with an enraged affection, it is past the
infinite of thought.

DON PEDRO

May be she doth but counterfeit.

DON PEDRO

May be she doth but counterfeit.

CLAUDIO

85 Faith, like enough.

CLAUDIO

Faith, like enough.

LEONATO

O God! Counterfeit? There was never counterfeit of
passion came so near the life of passion as she discovers it.

LEONATO

O God! Counterfeit? There was never counterfeit of
passion came so near the life of passion as she discovers it.

DON PEDRO

Why, what effects of passion shows she?

DON PEDRO

Why, what effects of passion shows she?

CLAUDIO

(aside to LEONATO) Bait the hook well; this fish will bite.

CLAUDIO

(aside to LEONATO) Bait the hook well; this fish will bite.

LEONATO

90 What effects, my lord? She will sit you—you heard my
daughter tell you how.

LEONATO

What effects, my lord? She will sit you—you heard my
daughter tell you how.

CLAUDIO

She did indeed.

CLAUDIO

She did indeed.

DON PEDRO

How, how I pray you? You amaze me. I would have thought
her spirit had been invincible against all assaults of affection.

DON PEDRO

How, how I pray you? You amaze me. I would have thought
her spirit had been invincible against all assaults of affection.

LEONATO

95 I would have sworn it had, my lord, especially against
Benedick.

LEONATO

I would have sworn it had, my lord, especially against
Benedick.

BENEDICK

(aside) I should think this a gull but that the white-bearded
fellow speaks it. Knavery cannot, sure, hide himself in such
reverence.

BENEDICK

(aside) I should think this a gull but that the white-bearded
fellow speaks it. Knavery cannot, sure, hide himself in such
reverence.

CLAUDIO

(aside to DON PEDRO) He hath ta'en th' infection. Hold it up.

CLAUDIO

(aside to DON PEDRO) He hath ta'en th' infection. Hold it up.

DON PEDRO

Hath she made her affection known to Benedick?

DON PEDRO

Hath she made her affection known to Benedick?

LEONATO

No, and swears she never will. That’s her torment.

LEONATO

No, and swears she never will. That’s her torment.

CLAUDIO

'Tis true indeed, so your daughter says. “Shall I,” says she,
“that have so oft encountered him with scorn, write to him
105 that I love him?”

CLAUDIO

'Tis true indeed, so your daughter says. “Shall I,” says she,
“that have so oft encountered him with scorn, write to him
that I love him?”

LEONATO

This says she now when she is beginning to write to him, for
she’ll be up twenty times a night, and there will she sit in her
smock till she have writ a sheet of paper. My daughter tells
us all.

LEONATO

This says she now when she is beginning to write to him, for
she’ll be up twenty times a night, and there will she sit in her
smock till she have writ a sheet of paper. My daughter tells
us all.

CLAUDIO

110 Now you talk of a sheet of paper, I remember a pretty jest
your daughter told.

CLAUDIO

Now you talk of a sheet of paper, I remember a pretty jest
your daughter told.

LEONATO

Oh, when she had writ it and was reading it over, she found
“Benedick” and “Beatrice” between the sheet?

LEONATO

Oh, when she had writ it and was reading it over, she found
“Benedick” and “Beatrice” between the sheet?

CLAUDIO

That.

CLAUDIO

That.

LEONATO

115 O, she tore the letter into a thousand halfpence, railed at
herself that she should be so immodest to write to one that
she knew would flout her. “I measure him,” says she, “by
my own spirit, for I should flout him if he writ to me, yea,
though I love him, I should.”

LEONATO

O, she tore the letter into a thousand halfpence, railed at
herself that she should be so immodest to write to one that
she knew would flout her. “I measure him,” says she, “by
my own spirit, for I should flout him if he writ to me, yea,
though I love him, I should.”

CLAUDIO

120 Then down upon her knees she falls, weeps, sobs, beats her
heart, tears her hair, prays, curses: “O sweet Benedick! God
give me patience!”

CLAUDIO

Then down upon her knees she falls, weeps, sobs, beats her
heart, tears her hair, prays, curses: “O sweet Benedick! God
give me patience!”

LEONATO

She doth indeed, my daughter says so, and the ecstasy hath
so much overborne her that my daughter is sometime
125 afeared
she will do a desperate outrage to herself. It is very true.

LEONATO

She doth indeed, my daughter says so, and the ecstasy hath
so much overborne her that my daughter is sometime
afeared
she will do a desperate outrage to herself. It is very true.

DON PEDRO

It were good that Benedick knew of it by some other, if she
will not discover it.

DON PEDRO

It were good that Benedick knew of it by some other, if she
will not discover it.

CLAUDIO

To what end? He would make but a sport of it and torment
130 the poor lady worse.

CLAUDIO

To what end? He would make but a sport of it and torment
the poor lady worse.

DON PEDRO

An he should, it were an alms to hang him. She’s an
excellent sweet lady, and, out of all suspicion, she is
virtuous.

DON PEDRO

An he should, it were an alms to hang him. She’s an
excellent sweet lady, and, out of all suspicion, she is
virtuous.

CLAUDIO

And she is exceeding wise.

CLAUDIO

And she is exceeding wise.

DON PEDRO

135 In every thing but in loving Benedick.

DON PEDRO

In every thing but in loving Benedick.

LEONATO

Oh, my lord, wisdom and blood combating in so tender a
body, we have ten proofs to one that blood hath the victory.
I am sorry for her, as I have just cause, being her uncle and
her guardian.

LEONATO

Oh, my lord, wisdom and blood combating in so tender a
body, we have ten proofs to one that blood hath the victory.
I am sorry for her, as I have just cause, being her uncle and
her guardian.

DON PEDRO

140 I would she had bestowed this dotage on me. I would have
daffed all other respects and made her half myself. I pray
you tell Benedick of it and hear what he will say.

DON PEDRO

I would she had bestowed this dotage on me. I would have
daffed all other respects and made her half myself. I pray
you tell Benedick of it and hear what he will say.

LEONATO

Were it good, think you?

LEONATO

Were it good, think you?

CLAUDIO

Hero thinks surely she will die, for she says she will die if he
145 love her not, and she will die ere she make her love known,
and she will die if he woo her rather than she will bate one
breath of her accustomed crossness.

CLAUDIO

Hero thinks surely she will die, for she says she will die if he
love her not, and she will die ere she make her love known,
and she will die if he woo her rather than she will bate one
breath of her accustomed crossness.

DON PEDRO

She doth well. If she should make tender of her love, ’tis
very possible he’ll scorn it, for the man, as you know all,
150 hath a contemptible spirit.

DON PEDRO

She doth well. If she should make tender of her love, ’tis
very possible he’ll scorn it, for the man, as you know all,
hath a contemptible spirit.

CLAUDIO

He is a very proper man.

CLAUDIO

He is a very proper man.

DON PEDRO

He hath indeed a good outward happiness.

DON PEDRO

He hath indeed a good outward happiness.

CLAUDIO

Before God, and in my mind, very wise.

CLAUDIO

Before God, and in my mind, very wise.

DON PEDRO

He doth indeed show some sparks that are like wit.

DON PEDRO

He doth indeed show some sparks that are like wit.

CLAUDIO

155 And I take him to be valiant.

CLAUDIO

And I take him to be valiant.

DON PEDRO

As Hector, I assure you, and in the managing of quarrels
you may say he is wise, for either he avoids them with great
discretion or undertakes them with a most Christian-like
fear.

DON PEDRO

As Hector, I assure you, and in the managing of quarrels
you may say he is wise, for either he avoids them with great
discretion or undertakes them with a most Christian-like
fear.

LEONATO

160 If he do fear God, he must necessarily keep peace. If he
break the peace, he ought to enter into a quarrel with fear
and trembling.

LEONATO

If he do fear God, he must necessarily keep peace. If he
break the peace, he ought to enter into a quarrel with fear
and trembling.

DON PEDRO

And so will he do, for the man doth fear God, howsoever it
seems not in him by some large jests he will make. Well, I
165 am sorry for your niece. Shall we go seek Benedick and tell
him of her love?

DON PEDRO

And so will he do, for the man doth fear God, howsoever it
seems not in him by some large jests he will make. Well, I
am sorry for your niece. Shall we go seek Benedick and tell
him of her love?

CLAUDIO

Never tell him, my lord, let her wear it out with good
counsel.

CLAUDIO

Never tell him, my lord, let her wear it out with good
counsel.

LEONATO

Nay, that’s impossible. She may wear her heart out first.

LEONATO

Nay, that’s impossible. She may wear her heart out first.

DON PEDRO

170 Well, we will hear further of it by your daughter. Let it cool
the while. I love Benedick well, and I could wish he would
modestly examine himself to see how much he is unworthy
so good a lady.

DON PEDRO

Well, we will hear further of it by your daughter. Let it cool
the while. I love Benedick well, and I could wish he would
modestly examine himself to see how much he is unworthy
so good a lady.

LEONATO

My lord, will you walk? Dinner is ready.

LEONATO

My lord, will you walk? Dinner is ready.

CLAUDIO

(aside to DON PEDRO and LEONATO) If he do not dote on her
upon this, I will never trust my expectation.

CLAUDIO

(aside to DON PEDRO and LEONATO) If he do not dote on her
upon this, I will never trust my expectation.

DON PEDRO

(aside to LEONATO) Let there be the same net spread for her,
and that must your daughter and her gentlewomen carry.
The sport will be when they hold one an opinion of
another’s dotage, and no such matter. That’s the scene that
I would see, which will be merely a dumb show. Let us send
her to call him in to dinner.

DON PEDRO

(aside to LEONATO) Let there be the same net spread for her,
and that must your daughter and her gentlewomen carry.
The sport will be when they hold one an opinion of
another’s dotage, and no such matter. That’s the scene that
I would see, which will be merely a dumb show. Let us send
her to call him in to dinner.
Exeunt DON PEDRO CLAUDIO , and LEONATO
Exeunt DON PEDRO CLAUDIO , and LEONATO

BENEDICK

(coming forward) This can be no trick. The conference was
sadly borne; they have the truth of this from Hero; they
185 seem to pity the lady. It seems her affections have their full
bent. Love me? Why, it must be requited! I hear how I am
censured. They sy I will bear myself proudly if I perceive
the love come from her. They say, too, that she will rather
die than give any sign of affection. I did never think to
190 marry. I must not seem proud. Happy are they that hear
their detractions and can put them to mending. They say
the lady is fair; ’tis a truth, I can bear them witness. And
virtuous; ’tis so, I cannot reprove it. And wise, but for
loving me; by my troth, it is no addition to her wit, nor no
195 great argument of her folly, for I will be horribly in love
with her! I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants
of wit broken on me because I have railed so long against
marriage, but doth not the appetite alter? A man loves the
meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. Shall
200 quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the
brain awe a man from the career of his humor?
No! The world must be peopled. When I said I would die a
bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.
Here comes Beatrice. By this day, she’s a fair lady. I do spy
205 some marks of love in her.

BENEDICK

(coming forward) This can be no trick. The conference was
sadly borne; they have the truth of this from Hero; they
seem to pity the lady. It seems her affections have their full
bent. Love me? Why, it must be requited! I hear how I am
censured. They sy I will bear myself proudly if I perceive
the love come from her. They say, too, that she will rather
die than give any sign of affection. I did never think to
marry. I must not seem proud. Happy are they that hear
their detractions and can put them to mending. They say
the lady is fair; ’tis a truth, I can bear them witness. And
virtuous; ’tis so, I cannot reprove it. And wise, but for
loving me; by my troth, it is no addition to her wit, nor no
great argument of her folly, for I will be horribly in love
with her! I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants
of wit broken on me because I have railed so long against
marriage, but doth not the appetite alter? A man loves the
meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. Shall
quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the
brain awe a man from the career of his humor?
No! The world must be peopled. When I said I would die a
bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.
Here comes Beatrice. By this day, she’s a fair lady. I do spy
some marks of love in her.
Enter BEATRICE
Enter BEATRICE

BEATRICE

Against my will, I am sent to bid you come in to dinner.

BEATRICE

Against my will, I am sent to bid you come in to dinner.

BENEDICK

Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains.

BENEDICK

Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains.

BEATRICE

I took no more pains for those thanks than you take pains to
thank me. If it had been painful, I would not have come.

BEATRICE

I took no more pains for those thanks than you take pains to
thank me. If it had been painful, I would not have come.

BENEDICK

210 You take pleasure then in the message?

BENEDICK

You take pleasure then in the message?

BEATRICE

Yea, just so much as you may take upon a knife’s point and
choke a daw withal. You have no stomach, Signior. Fare you
well.

BEATRICE

Yea, just so much as you may take upon a knife’s point and
choke a daw withal. You have no stomach, Signior. Fare you
well.
Exit
Exit

BENEDICK

Ha! “Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to
dinner.” There’s a double meaning in that. “I took no more
pains for those thanks than you took pains to thank me.”
That’s as much as to say, “Any pains that I take for you is as
easy as thanks.” If I do not take pity of her, I am a villain.
If I do not love her, I am a Jew. I will go get her picture.

BENEDICK

Ha! “Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to
dinner.” There’s a double meaning in that. “I took no more
pains for those thanks than you took pains to thank me.”
That’s as much as to say, “Any pains that I take for you is as
easy as thanks.” If I do not take pity of her, I am a villain.
If I do not love her, I am a Jew. I will go get her picture.
Exit
Exit