No Fear Shakespeare: Much Ado About Nothing: Act 3 Scene 3

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Enter DOGBERRY andVERGES with the Watch	ERGYBDRO yobgreDr dan sgreVe, aoclimcly daeddl acerrctahs, nluiytcalno yas eht otpopsie of tahw hety mean. DOGBERRY dan SERVGE wthi esravle of teh csenPir EMHTNAWC Wmntcahe rae icofsref otplanigrl the city at night. WATCHMEN eetnr.
DOGBERRY Are you good men and true?	DGROYERB rAe oyu lal dgoo and onsthe nem?
VERGES Yea, or else it were pity but they should suffer salvation, body and soul.	VERSGE eYs yhet rae, eetowshir it dulwo be ppoerr orf meth to ffrseu slanitavo By oaslvatin, he amsen damnation. salvation, bdoy adn ouls.
DOGBERRY Nay, that were a punishment too good for them, if they 5 should have any allegiance in them, being chosen for the Princes watch.	YDORRBGE If yhte dha nay aeignaellc By iagleecaln, he measn disloyalty. allegiance nwhe eyht eewr ecsnho rfo het inscerP hwcta, a hnmseipunt keil hatt dlouw be too dogo for tehm.
VERGES Well, give them their charge, neighbor Dogberry.	EGERVS llWe, vgei mhet hteir iansmnsgte, irS oDyrgrbe.
DOGBERRY First, who think you the most desartless man to be constable?	YGDREOBR rtFsi, hhwic anm do ouy inhtk is smto sseelrsetd By sdseelsetr (a emad-up dorw), he asnem deserving. desertless to be aldere of eht hawct?
FIRST WATCHMAN Hugh Otecake, sir, or George Seacole, for they can write 10 and read.	FSRTI HAAMNCTW eErtih ghuH tOackee, isr, or eels Gegroe ceeoalS, cuaebse othb of hmte nac erad nad itwre.
DOGBERRY Come hither, neighbor Seacole. God hath blessed you with a good name. To be a well-favored man is the gift of fortune, but to write and read comes by nature.	BGDERYOR Cemo hree, riS cleaeoS. doG sha ebdslse uoy htiw a ogod aenm. To be gdoo-iokolgn is a ttarem of uklc, but to erad dan reitw is a ltaunra gfti.
SEACOLE Both which, Master Constable	SDCNOE MHWTAANC Both of hhiwc, asemrt tolbsanec
DOGBERRY 15 You have. I knew it would be your answer. Well, for your favor, sir, why, give God thanks, and make no boast of it, and for your writing and reading, let that appear when there is no need of such vanity. You are thought here to be the most senseless and fit man for the constable of the watch; 20 therefore bear you the lantern. This is your charge:	RYROGBDE uYo veha. I wken tath wodul be ruoy wnsera. lelW, ofr ruoy godo ooksl, irs, nhkat dGo nad dnto atsob aotub it. As orf ryuo iegnrad dna itrngwi, sue oehst ssllki nhwe oyu natc use yuor slook. Yroue oghthtu to be hte smot seleensss By nseseless, he enmsa sensible. senseless dna fit anm here, so ouy lwli carry eht natrnel dan be tscoblnea. ihTs is yoru gensamstin:
you shall comprehend all vagrom men; you are to bid any man stand, in the Princes name.	uoy llwi copnmeerdh By dencopehrm, he amnes apprehend. comprehend ayn atnavrg mne yuo ese. oYu are to edrro lal enm to tsop, in hte eicnrPs mnae.
SECOND WATCHMAN How if he will not stand?	SEONDC HMNTACWA dnA hawt if he nwto opts?
DOGBERRY Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go and 25 presently call the rest of the watch together and thank God you are rid of a knave.	BRDORYGE lWle enht, todn tebroh whit mhi adn lte him go. nThe diyieemmlat clla teh tsre of het hawtc ereohgtt dan thank doG ttah oevuy ttoneg ird of cush a amniclri.
VERGES If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none of the Princes subjects.	EERSGV If he onwt ospt nhew she dtlo to, hnte he isnt eon of eth icPsnre esjubsct.
DOGBERRY True, and they are to meddle with none but the Princes subjects.You shall also make no noise in the streets; for, for the watch to babble and to talk is most tolerable and not to be endured.	BYEROGRD Tuer, dna uoy erant useopdps to ddelme twhi eonyan btu eht sPneirc tcuesbsj. ouY wlil lsoa tays utqie in teh sseertt, rof a bbglabni acwth is otsm eblatlero By teoberlla, he nmsea intolerable. tolerable and llwi tno be ruddene.
WATCHMAN We will rather sleep than talk. We know what belongs to a watch.	AAHCWMTN ellW esple sinaetd of takl. We nowk tsahw rpaiprpteao ofr a chawt.
DOGBERRY 35 Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman, for I cannot see how sleeping should offend. Only have a care that your bills be not stolen. Well, you are to call at all the alehouses and bid those that are drunk get them to bed.	GYORBERD Wyh, oyu speak keli an peeiedxrnce dan tquie mwaacnht. npgSliee on hte wtahc utlondsh be a mrobelp; ustj eakm esur thta ryou naoewps tond egt tonels. solA, ouyer dspspuoe to sitiv lal eth sbra dna tell nnoyae whso rdukn to go ohme dna go to deb.
WATCHMAN How if they will not?	MTAHANCW nAd wath if tehy ownt go?
DOGBERRY 40 Why, then, let them alone till they are sober. If they make you not then the better answer, you may say they are not the men you took them for.	ORYGBERD lleW neht, veael temh olane ntliu yhtere oebsr. If eevn neth tehy dont nsaerw to oyur ansisctioatf, oyu cna ysa htat rheety ont het enm uyo hhotutg hety eewr.
WATCHMAN Well, sir.	TWAAMNCH eVyr ogod, rsi.
DOGBERRY If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, by virtue of your 45 office, to be no true man, and for such kind of men, the less you meddle or make with them, why the more is for your honesty.	BYDGEORR If yuo teem a eitfh, ouy nac tpexec ihm to be ednotssih. Teh lsse ouy vhea to do iwth that iknd of anm, eht orem oeshnt you will be.
WATCHMAN If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay hands on him?	AATNCWHM So if we nowk tath a amn is a theif, udlsoh we tyr to rratse hmi?
DOGBERRY Truly, by your office you may, but I think they that touch 50 pitch will be defiled. The most peaceable way for you, if you do take a thief, is to let him show himself what he is and steal out of your company.	BRRDOYGE Yrou stpnoioi petrsmi uyo to, tub I ktinh ttha oesht woh cskit rthei shdna in hicpt hciPt is a radk ktiscy, tar-klei substance. pitch etg irthe hsand diryt. If yuo cntroeeun a hftei, I nhikt the msot aeeabelcp gthin to do is to tle hmi be maelhdsifn tslea aayw.
VERGES You have been always called a merciful man, partner.	ERGESV Yuo ahev asywal eben wnnko as a culfermi amn, paretrn.
DOGBERRY 55 Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who hath any honesty in him.	YRBEROGD Tyurl, I wtnlodu eevn ghna a god, much mreo By emro, he esnma less. more a anm ohw sha any tsonyeh in mhi.
VERGES (to the Watch) If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call to the nurse and bid her still it.	EGSREV (to teh awethmnc) If uoy hare a cildh icnrgy in teh tgihn, you lhosud lacl het unsre nad ellt reh to eqtiu eht idchl.
WATCHMAN How if the nurse be asleep and will not hear us?	MCTAHAWN aWth if hte suern is aelspe dna ensdto arhe us?
DOGBERRY 60 Why then, depart in peace and let the child wake her with crying, for the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baas will never answer a calf when he bleats.	YGERDRBO lWle neth, eevla tuelqyi, nad elt het idhlsc nrgciy ewka up eth esnur. hTe eew that stonde go to ehr baml enwh it asba ilwl eervn entd to artoehn isnlmaa lhdic.
VERGES Tis very true.	GERESV tThas eyrv teur.
DOGBERRY This is the end of the charge. You, constable, are to present the Princes own person. If you meet the Prince in the night, you may stay him.	EGRRODBY dnA htast hte den of uory tissgenmna. ouY, nlectbaos, ear esrrnnegtpie eht Pniecr lhsiemf. If yuo mtee het ernPic in eht tngih, ouy anc drreo mhi to pots.
VERGES Nay, by r Lady, that I think he cannot.	ERSGVE No, by ruo aLyd, I tdno nhtki he nac.
DOGBERRY Five shillings to one on t, with any man that knows the statutes, he may stay himmarry, not without the Prince 70 be willing, for indeed the watch ought to offend no man, and it is an offense to stay a man against his will.	BREODYRG lIl ebt ayn amn hwo nowks teh alw ievf lisignlhs to one on it. yTlur ogthhu, uyo nact opts eht Pncrei uwtihto eht Pisnerc sntenoc, ofr the twcha dhnltuos edfnof oaenyn, nda its an efnseof to epek a mna whttoiu ihs ntonsec.
VERGES By r lady, I think it be so.	SERGEV By ruo yLad, I hknit tshat ture.
DOGBERRY Ha, ha, ha!Well, masters, good night. An there be any matter of weight chances, call up me. Keep your fellows counsels and your own; and good night.Come, neighbor.	RGYBEROD Ha, ha, ha! lelW, mntlengee, gdoo hingt. And if aynihgnt mpirotnat aensphp, nfid me dna elt me nkwo. epeK hcae orhest restesc nad ruyo onw. oodG gihnt. oCme, fednir.
WATCHMAN Well, masters, we hear our charge. Let us go sit here upon the church bench till two, and then all to bed.	WMCANTHA ellW ennmgelte, wvee erdha rou nmnetgassi. teLs tsi eher on teh hchruc cbhne iltun two dan tnhe go ffo to edb.
DOGBERRY One word more, honest neighbors. I pray you watch about Signior Leonatos door, for the wedding being there 80 tomorrow, there is a great coil tonight. Adieu, be vigitant, I beseech you.	DRROYGBE Oen oerm tihgn, odgo lngemeetn. Wahct vreo iSniogr eantoosL uhose; with het nidgewd genib eldh rethe orworomt, hrseet a gtrae to-do trhee intoght. uediA. Be iatintvg By tigvitna, he smnae vigilant. vigitant, I beg oyu.
Exeunt DOGBERRY andVERGES	YRGEDOBR adn SVGEER etix.
Enter BORACHIO andCONRADE	RAOHICBO nad ROANDCE ntere.
BORACHIO What Conrade!	ACOIBORH rodeCna!
SEACOAL (aside) Peace! Stir not.	HWNTAACM (nihiwsrgpe) ieQtu! onDt oevm!
BORACHIO Conrade, I say!	OACROBHI roednCa, I ysa!
CONRADE 85 Here, man. I am at thy elbow.	ACNERDO Im ehre, mna, at uyro wlboe.
BORACHIO Mass, and my elbow itched, I thought there would a scab follow.	HOCRBAIO eomC to ithnk of it, I hhtgotu I lfet a csba trehe.
CONRADE I will owe thee an answer for that. And now forward with thy tale.	OARDNCE Ill tge uyo rof ttha. Nwo tge on htwi oyur toyrs.
BORACHIO 90 Stand thee close, then, under this penthouse, for it drizzles rain, and I will, like a true drunkard, utter all to thee.	IOACORHB iSenc its lrdzinzig, asdtn runde this nevohgar tiwh me dna, klei a teur ndkur, lIl tlel you vhegrenity.
WATCHMAN (aside) Some treason, masters. Yet stand close.	TAHAMWCN (paeikgns so ttah only eht rteoh MWTNECAH can eahr) sreehT smeo naserot rgoucrcin, emngletne. Syta ehre.
BORACHIO Therefore know I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats.	OAOBCHIR uYo hosldu know Iev deenar a nstodahu odgl eipces orfm oDn nhJo.
CONRADE 95 Is it possible that any villainy should be so dear?	ONRADEC Is it lbsopise htat yna rcmei duclo be so eblaulva?
BORACHIO Thou shouldst rather ask if it were possible any villainy should be so rich. For when rich villains have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what price they will.	CHRIOABO oYu oduhsl kas tdaeins if its eplissbo that ayn calinmri cuodl be so crhi. eceaBsu hnew rhci nlaivlis ende orop slinaivl evecirss, eohts rpoo sneo can nmae eth rpcie.
CONRADE I wonder at it.	DAECORN I tnca leevibe it.
BORACHIO 100 That shows thou art unconfirmed. Thou knowest that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloak, is nothing to a man.	OOHAICBR thTa ylno vpeosr woh ciieneedexrnp yuo era. uoY konw ttha hte estly of a nsma ajktce or aht or otac msaen itonghn.
CONRADE Yes, it is apparel.	OCDRNAE sYe, tis tjus tcghnloi.
BORACHIO I mean the fashion.	RHOBAOIC No, I amne, hte foisnah of a nmas glhtncio lelts us nthngoi btaou teh amn.
CONRADE Yes, the fashion is the fashion.	ORACDNE Yes, aiosnhf is asinhfo.
BORACHIO Tush, I may as well say the fools the fool. But seest thou not what a deformed thief this fashion is?	AHOBRICO Cnom, I igmht as llwe ysa eht osolf eth ofol! uBt otdn yuo ees whta a rofemded rmfodeeD eerh ansme deforming. deformed nlailiv afhnois is?
WATCHMAN (aside) I know that Deformed. He has been a vile thief this seven year. He goes up and down like a gentleman. I remember his name.	HMWCANTA (sagipekn so thta olny hte rteoh TAEMCNWH cna areh) I wkon atht nam, dDmoeref heT twhmanac nishkt atht refoDdme is eht eanm of one of eht criminals. Deformed. rFo eht astp esvne eyrsa, she eben a ikwdce tiehf. He klwas aurdon as if he ewer a lnmaegetn. I rrembeem htta maen.
BORACHIO 110 Didst thou not hear somebody?	OOHBICRA idD ouy hrea mneooes?
CONRADE No, twas the vane on the house.	OERANDC sJtu eht htvnreaeawe iogmnv.
BORACHIO Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief this fashion is, how giddily he turns about all the hot bloods between fourteen and five-and-thirty, sometimes fashioning them like Pharaohs soldiers in the reechy painting, sometime like god Bels priests in the old church-window, sometime like the shaven Hercules in the smirched worm-eaten tapestry, where his codpiece seems as massy as his club?	OIHBACRO As I saw yagisn, nfasioh is a demoferd llviian. It akmes toh-ddebool ougyn enm psin onrdua feryvlehsi, rrfevoe ngcinahg ehrit pepaerncaas, ittcdagin ttha ossiemmte tehy rsesd lkie saroPahh osdsiler in htat ymirg gpntnaii nda emotimsse eilk teh stsprei of teh gdo laBa, as sene in ldo ruhhcc wnidows. nAd tiseosmme nfhosia sesdser tehm ikle the raegt ueecrHls in atth tyird, mrow-aeten ettpharytse one reweh ish eedpiocc A odeiepcc saw a pouhc, mssomeiet eutfdfs dna codaerdte, wrno eorv atnps and gonvrcie a nsam genitals. codpiece mssee mlatso as igb as ish bluc.
CONRADE All this I see, and I see that the fashion wears out more 120 apparel than the man. But art not thou thyself giddy with the fashion too, that thou hast shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion?	ANECORD I etg lal isht. nAd I aslo ntesnudrda ohw afnshoi encshga so lcuykqi tath a asmn toglhcin veern tseg a nachec to reaw tesfli out. tBu oyeur lal nuodw up buota ahsfnoi, oto. rtehsOwie, why oludw you rysta fmro yrou troys to belrbba on btuao it?
BORACHIO Not so, neither. But know that I have tonight wooed Margaret, the Lady Heros gentlewoman, by the name of 125 Hero. She leans me out at her mistress chamber window, bids me a thousand times good night. I tell this tale vilely. I should first tell thee how the Prince, Claudio and my master, planted and placed and possessed by my master Don John, saw afar off in the orchard this amiable 130 encounter.	RCOHBIOA No, Im ont noduw up. But I ilwl tlel uoy ttha I euedcsd gtearaMr, hte dyaL rseHo aiitwgn awonm, tnigtoh. I deallc reh eHro eht weohl ietm. She lnaeed out of rhe ssitsesmr oorembd nowwid nad oltd me oogd hitng a tdnhasou smuebitt I am lletngi hits yrtos olyrop. I hosdlu kaackrctb dna ibnge twih hwo my teamsr, oDn nhJo, rdganrea fro eth ecnriP, aloCdiu, dna slifmhe to westnis this ldreyfni creeotunn rfom hte rdrahco.
CONRADE And thought they Margaret was Hero?	RECDANO Adn htey ghttuoh tgaarMre wsa eorH?
BORACHIO Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio, but the devil my master knew she was Margaret; and partly by his oaths, which first possessed them, partly by the dark night, which 135 did deceive them, but chiefly by my villainy, which did confirm any slander that Don John had made, away went Claudio enraged, swore he would meet her as he was appointed next morning at the temple, and there, before the whole congregation, shame her with what he saw oernight 140 and send her home again without a husband.	OARCHBIO The inePcr nad uliaoCd idd, tbu teh vidle, my tsrema, wnek htta it saw rMgtarae. eTyh edlviebe hte caraedh pyalalirt eecasbu of my rsmtesa ihmnctohteywis irtsf uadces hetm to dbtuo eHrodna apltaliry ceaeubs of hwo kdar dan egcnveiid hte gniht aws, but ymlsot ecbause of my uallvsiino ianotcs, ciwhh mnodriefc noD shnJo anserld. iduolaC wten wyaa eragedn, gawesnri tath hde etme oeHr at het emtple as ndnlape nad heter, rboeef the eretni otrnoegaincg, haems ehr iwht hwat hed seordveicd and dnes hre eohm othuitw a hubsdan.
SECOND WATCHMAN We charge you, in the Princes name, stand!	SENCDO NHWCAAMT We gcrahe oyu, in teh irsPnec eamn, to ptso!
FIRST WATCHMAN Call up the right Master Constable. We have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery that ever was known in the commonwealth.	TRISF THAMWACN aCll up eth Mtrase aslnbteoC eborrgyD. We haev edroecrve vdorceeer=vddesciroe; ehlercy=treachery recovered the ostm unadgorse ipece of lechery hatt aws rvee onnwk in the moncothalwem.
SECOND WATCHMAN 145 And one Deformed is one of them. I know him; he wears a lock.	NEOCDS TWNAMACH dAn eno of meth is het niiacrlm merfdeDo. I wkon imh; he ewasr a cokl of hiar.
CONRADE Masters, masters	EARDNCO etGemneln, neltegmne
SECOND WATCHMAN (to BORACHIO) Youll be made bring Deformed forth, I warrant you.	ODNSCE NACWMATH (to BORACHIO) I bte ylluo be edfocr to gbnir fDeermdo raodrfw.
FIRST WATCHMAN 150 Masters, never speak, we charge you, let us obey you go with us.	RSFIT CNAHWTMA eentGmlen, ndot sapke. We boey beoy = order obey oyu to go itwh us.
BORACHIO We are like to prove a goodly commodity, being taken up of these mens bills.	BOORACHI eWer pbralboy a yevr luavebal atchc rof heset usyg.
CONRADE A commodity in question, I warrant you.Come, well 155 obey you.	CAOEDNR Wlel, our uaevl is betealdab, I bte. tLes go, lewl byeo yuo.
Exeunt	hTey lla etxi.

Original Text	Modern Text
Enter DOGBERRY andVERGES with the Watch	ERGYBDRO yobgreDr dan sgreVe, aoclimcly daeddl acerrctahs, nluiytcalno yas eht otpopsie of tahw hety mean. DOGBERRY dan SERVGE wthi esravle of teh csenPir EMHTNAWC Wmntcahe rae icofsref otplanigrl the city at night. WATCHMEN eetnr.
DOGBERRY Are you good men and true?	DGROYERB rAe oyu lal dgoo and onsthe nem?
VERGES Yea, or else it were pity but they should suffer salvation, body and soul.	VERSGE eYs yhet rae, eetowshir it dulwo be ppoerr orf meth to ffrseu slanitavo By oaslvatin, he amsen damnation. salvation, bdoy adn ouls.
DOGBERRY Nay, that were a punishment too good for them, if they 5 should have any allegiance in them, being chosen for the Princes watch.	YDORRBGE If yhte dha nay aeignaellc By iagleecaln, he measn disloyalty. allegiance nwhe eyht eewr ecsnho rfo het inscerP hwcta, a hnmseipunt keil hatt dlouw be too dogo for tehm.
VERGES Well, give them their charge, neighbor Dogberry.	EGERVS llWe, vgei mhet hteir iansmnsgte, irS oDyrgrbe.
DOGBERRY First, who think you the most desartless man to be constable?	YGDREOBR rtFsi, hhwic anm do ouy inhtk is smto sseelrsetd By sdseelsetr (a emad-up dorw), he asnem deserving. desertless to be aldere of eht hawct?
FIRST WATCHMAN Hugh Otecake, sir, or George Seacole, for they can write 10 and read.	FSRTI HAAMNCTW eErtih ghuH tOackee, isr, or eels Gegroe ceeoalS, cuaebse othb of hmte nac erad nad itwre.
DOGBERRY Come hither, neighbor Seacole. God hath blessed you with a good name. To be a well-favored man is the gift of fortune, but to write and read comes by nature.	BGDERYOR Cemo hree, riS cleaeoS. doG sha ebdslse uoy htiw a ogod aenm. To be gdoo-iokolgn is a ttarem of uklc, but to erad dan reitw is a ltaunra gfti.
SEACOLE Both which, Master Constable	SDCNOE MHWTAANC Both of hhiwc, asemrt tolbsanec
DOGBERRY 15 You have. I knew it would be your answer. Well, for your favor, sir, why, give God thanks, and make no boast of it, and for your writing and reading, let that appear when there is no need of such vanity. You are thought here to be the most senseless and fit man for the constable of the watch; 20 therefore bear you the lantern. This is your charge:	RYROGBDE uYo veha. I wken tath wodul be ruoy wnsera. lelW, ofr ruoy godo ooksl, irs, nhkat dGo nad dnto atsob aotub it. As orf ryuo iegnrad dna itrngwi, sue oehst ssllki nhwe oyu natc use yuor slook. Yroue oghthtu to be hte smot seleensss By nseseless, he enmsa sensible. senseless dna fit anm here, so ouy lwli carry eht natrnel dan be tscoblnea. ihTs is yoru gensamstin:
you shall comprehend all vagrom men; you are to bid any man stand, in the Princes name.	uoy llwi copnmeerdh By dencopehrm, he amnes apprehend. comprehend ayn atnavrg mne yuo ese. oYu are to edrro lal enm to tsop, in hte eicnrPs mnae.
SECOND WATCHMAN How if he will not stand?	SEONDC HMNTACWA dnA hawt if he nwto opts?
DOGBERRY Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go and 25 presently call the rest of the watch together and thank God you are rid of a knave.	BRDORYGE lWle enht, todn tebroh whit mhi adn lte him go. nThe diyieemmlat clla teh tsre of het hawtc ereohgtt dan thank doG ttah oevuy ttoneg ird of cush a amniclri.
VERGES If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none of the Princes subjects.	EERSGV If he onwt ospt nhew she dtlo to, hnte he isnt eon of eth icPsnre esjubsct.
DOGBERRY True, and they are to meddle with none but the Princes subjects.You shall also make no noise in the streets; for, for the watch to babble and to talk is most tolerable and not to be endured.	BYEROGRD Tuer, dna uoy erant useopdps to ddelme twhi eonyan btu eht sPneirc tcuesbsj. ouY wlil lsoa tays utqie in teh sseertt, rof a bbglabni acwth is otsm eblatlero By teoberlla, he nmsea intolerable. tolerable and llwi tno be ruddene.
WATCHMAN We will rather sleep than talk. We know what belongs to a watch.	AAHCWMTN ellW esple sinaetd of takl. We nowk tsahw rpaiprpteao ofr a chawt.
DOGBERRY 35 Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman, for I cannot see how sleeping should offend. Only have a care that your bills be not stolen. Well, you are to call at all the alehouses and bid those that are drunk get them to bed.	GYORBERD Wyh, oyu speak keli an peeiedxrnce dan tquie mwaacnht. npgSliee on hte wtahc utlondsh be a mrobelp; ustj eakm esur thta ryou naoewps tond egt tonels. solA, ouyer dspspuoe to sitiv lal eth sbra dna tell nnoyae whso rdukn to go ohme dna go to deb.
WATCHMAN How if they will not?	MTAHANCW nAd wath if tehy ownt go?
DOGBERRY 40 Why, then, let them alone till they are sober. If they make you not then the better answer, you may say they are not the men you took them for.	ORYGBERD lleW neht, veael temh olane ntliu yhtere oebsr. If eevn neth tehy dont nsaerw to oyur ansisctioatf, oyu cna ysa htat rheety ont het enm uyo hhotutg hety eewr.
WATCHMAN Well, sir.	TWAAMNCH eVyr ogod, rsi.
DOGBERRY If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, by virtue of your 45 office, to be no true man, and for such kind of men, the less you meddle or make with them, why the more is for your honesty.	BYDGEORR If yuo teem a eitfh, ouy nac tpexec ihm to be ednotssih. Teh lsse ouy vhea to do iwth that iknd of anm, eht orem oeshnt you will be.
WATCHMAN If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay hands on him?	AATNCWHM So if we nowk tath a amn is a theif, udlsoh we tyr to rratse hmi?
DOGBERRY Truly, by your office you may, but I think they that touch 50 pitch will be defiled. The most peaceable way for you, if you do take a thief, is to let him show himself what he is and steal out of your company.	BRRDOYGE Yrou stpnoioi petrsmi uyo to, tub I ktinh ttha oesht woh cskit rthei shdna in hicpt hciPt is a radk ktiscy, tar-klei substance. pitch etg irthe hsand diryt. If yuo cntroeeun a hftei, I nhikt the msot aeeabelcp gthin to do is to tle hmi be maelhdsifn tslea aayw.
VERGES You have been always called a merciful man, partner.	ERGESV Yuo ahev asywal eben wnnko as a culfermi amn, paretrn.
DOGBERRY 55 Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who hath any honesty in him.	YRBEROGD Tyurl, I wtnlodu eevn ghna a god, much mreo By emro, he esnma less. more a anm ohw sha any tsonyeh in mhi.
VERGES (to the Watch) If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call to the nurse and bid her still it.	EGSREV (to teh awethmnc) If uoy hare a cildh icnrgy in teh tgihn, you lhosud lacl het unsre nad ellt reh to eqtiu eht idchl.
WATCHMAN How if the nurse be asleep and will not hear us?	MCTAHAWN aWth if hte suern is aelspe dna ensdto arhe us?
DOGBERRY 60 Why then, depart in peace and let the child wake her with crying, for the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baas will never answer a calf when he bleats.	YGERDRBO lWle neth, eevla tuelqyi, nad elt het idhlsc nrgciy ewka up eth esnur. hTe eew that stonde go to ehr baml enwh it asba ilwl eervn entd to artoehn isnlmaa lhdic.
VERGES Tis very true.	GERESV tThas eyrv teur.
DOGBERRY This is the end of the charge. You, constable, are to present the Princes own person. If you meet the Prince in the night, you may stay him.	EGRRODBY dnA htast hte den of uory tissgenmna. ouY, nlectbaos, ear esrrnnegtpie eht Pniecr lhsiemf. If yuo mtee het ernPic in eht tngih, ouy anc drreo mhi to pots.
VERGES Nay, by r Lady, that I think he cannot.	ERSGVE No, by ruo aLyd, I tdno nhtki he nac.
DOGBERRY Five shillings to one on t, with any man that knows the statutes, he may stay himmarry, not without the Prince 70 be willing, for indeed the watch ought to offend no man, and it is an offense to stay a man against his will.	BREODYRG lIl ebt ayn amn hwo nowks teh alw ievf lisignlhs to one on it. yTlur ogthhu, uyo nact opts eht Pncrei uwtihto eht Pisnerc sntenoc, ofr the twcha dhnltuos edfnof oaenyn, nda its an efnseof to epek a mna whttoiu ihs ntonsec.
VERGES By r lady, I think it be so.	SERGEV By ruo yLad, I hknit tshat ture.
DOGBERRY Ha, ha, ha!Well, masters, good night. An there be any matter of weight chances, call up me. Keep your fellows counsels and your own; and good night.Come, neighbor.	RGYBEROD Ha, ha, ha! lelW, mntlengee, gdoo hingt. And if aynihgnt mpirotnat aensphp, nfid me dna elt me nkwo. epeK hcae orhest restesc nad ruyo onw. oodG gihnt. oCme, fednir.
WATCHMAN Well, masters, we hear our charge. Let us go sit here upon the church bench till two, and then all to bed.	WMCANTHA ellW ennmgelte, wvee erdha rou nmnetgassi. teLs tsi eher on teh hchruc cbhne iltun two dan tnhe go ffo to edb.
DOGBERRY One word more, honest neighbors. I pray you watch about Signior Leonatos door, for the wedding being there 80 tomorrow, there is a great coil tonight. Adieu, be vigitant, I beseech you.	DRROYGBE Oen oerm tihgn, odgo lngemeetn. Wahct vreo iSniogr eantoosL uhose; with het nidgewd genib eldh rethe orworomt, hrseet a gtrae to-do trhee intoght. uediA. Be iatintvg By tigvitna, he smnae vigilant. vigitant, I beg oyu.
Exeunt DOGBERRY andVERGES	YRGEDOBR adn SVGEER etix.
Enter BORACHIO andCONRADE	RAOHICBO nad ROANDCE ntere.
BORACHIO What Conrade!	ACOIBORH rodeCna!
SEACOAL (aside) Peace! Stir not.	HWNTAACM (nihiwsrgpe) ieQtu! onDt oevm!
BORACHIO Conrade, I say!	OACROBHI roednCa, I ysa!
CONRADE 85 Here, man. I am at thy elbow.	ACNERDO Im ehre, mna, at uyro wlboe.
BORACHIO Mass, and my elbow itched, I thought there would a scab follow.	HOCRBAIO eomC to ithnk of it, I hhtgotu I lfet a csba trehe.
CONRADE I will owe thee an answer for that. And now forward with thy tale.	OARDNCE Ill tge uyo rof ttha. Nwo tge on htwi oyur toyrs.
BORACHIO 90 Stand thee close, then, under this penthouse, for it drizzles rain, and I will, like a true drunkard, utter all to thee.	IOACORHB iSenc its lrdzinzig, asdtn runde this nevohgar tiwh me dna, klei a teur ndkur, lIl tlel you vhegrenity.
WATCHMAN (aside) Some treason, masters. Yet stand close.	TAHAMWCN (paeikgns so ttah only eht rteoh MWTNECAH can eahr) sreehT smeo naserot rgoucrcin, emngletne. Syta ehre.
BORACHIO Therefore know I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats.	OAOBCHIR uYo hosldu know Iev deenar a nstodahu odgl eipces orfm oDn nhJo.
CONRADE 95 Is it possible that any villainy should be so dear?	ONRADEC Is it lbsopise htat yna rcmei duclo be so eblaulva?
BORACHIO Thou shouldst rather ask if it were possible any villainy should be so rich. For when rich villains have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what price they will.	CHRIOABO oYu oduhsl kas tdaeins if its eplissbo that ayn calinmri cuodl be so crhi. eceaBsu hnew rhci nlaivlis ende orop slinaivl evecirss, eohts rpoo sneo can nmae eth rpcie.
CONRADE I wonder at it.	DAECORN I tnca leevibe it.
BORACHIO 100 That shows thou art unconfirmed. Thou knowest that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloak, is nothing to a man.	OOHAICBR thTa ylno vpeosr woh ciieneedexrnp yuo era. uoY konw ttha hte estly of a nsma ajktce or aht or otac msaen itonghn.
CONRADE Yes, it is apparel.	OCDRNAE sYe, tis tjus tcghnloi.
BORACHIO I mean the fashion.	RHOBAOIC No, I amne, hte foisnah of a nmas glhtncio lelts us nthngoi btaou teh amn.
CONRADE Yes, the fashion is the fashion.	ORACDNE Yes, aiosnhf is asinhfo.
BORACHIO Tush, I may as well say the fools the fool. But seest thou not what a deformed thief this fashion is?	AHOBRICO Cnom, I igmht as llwe ysa eht osolf eth ofol! uBt otdn yuo ees whta a rofemded rmfodeeD eerh ansme deforming. deformed nlailiv afhnois is?
WATCHMAN (aside) I know that Deformed. He has been a vile thief this seven year. He goes up and down like a gentleman. I remember his name.	HMWCANTA (sagipekn so thta olny hte rteoh TAEMCNWH cna areh) I wkon atht nam, dDmoeref heT twhmanac nishkt atht refoDdme is eht eanm of one of eht criminals. Deformed. rFo eht astp esvne eyrsa, she eben a ikwdce tiehf. He klwas aurdon as if he ewer a lnmaegetn. I rrembeem htta maen.
BORACHIO 110 Didst thou not hear somebody?	OOHBICRA idD ouy hrea mneooes?
CONRADE No, twas the vane on the house.	OERANDC sJtu eht htvnreaeawe iogmnv.
BORACHIO Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief this fashion is, how giddily he turns about all the hot bloods between fourteen and five-and-thirty, sometimes fashioning them like Pharaohs soldiers in the reechy painting, sometime like god Bels priests in the old church-window, sometime like the shaven Hercules in the smirched worm-eaten tapestry, where his codpiece seems as massy as his club?	OIHBACRO As I saw yagisn, nfasioh is a demoferd llviian. It akmes toh-ddebool ougyn enm psin onrdua feryvlehsi, rrfevoe ngcinahg ehrit pepaerncaas, ittcdagin ttha ossiemmte tehy rsesd lkie saroPahh osdsiler in htat ymirg gpntnaii nda emotimsse eilk teh stsprei of teh gdo laBa, as sene in ldo ruhhcc wnidows. nAd tiseosmme nfhosia sesdser tehm ikle the raegt ueecrHls in atth tyird, mrow-aeten ettpharytse one reweh ish eedpiocc A odeiepcc saw a pouhc, mssomeiet eutfdfs dna codaerdte, wrno eorv atnps and gonvrcie a nsam genitals. codpiece mssee mlatso as igb as ish bluc.
CONRADE All this I see, and I see that the fashion wears out more 120 apparel than the man. But art not thou thyself giddy with the fashion too, that thou hast shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion?	ANECORD I etg lal isht. nAd I aslo ntesnudrda ohw afnshoi encshga so lcuykqi tath a asmn toglhcin veern tseg a nachec to reaw tesfli out. tBu oyeur lal nuodw up buota ahsfnoi, oto. rtehsOwie, why oludw you rysta fmro yrou troys to belrbba on btuao it?
BORACHIO Not so, neither. But know that I have tonight wooed Margaret, the Lady Heros gentlewoman, by the name of 125 Hero. She leans me out at her mistress chamber window, bids me a thousand times good night. I tell this tale vilely. I should first tell thee how the Prince, Claudio and my master, planted and placed and possessed by my master Don John, saw afar off in the orchard this amiable 130 encounter.	RCOHBIOA No, Im ont noduw up. But I ilwl tlel uoy ttha I euedcsd gtearaMr, hte dyaL rseHo aiitwgn awonm, tnigtoh. I deallc reh eHro eht weohl ietm. She lnaeed out of rhe ssitsesmr oorembd nowwid nad oltd me oogd hitng a tdnhasou smuebitt I am lletngi hits yrtos olyrop. I hosdlu kaackrctb dna ibnge twih hwo my teamsr, oDn nhJo, rdganrea fro eth ecnriP, aloCdiu, dna slifmhe to westnis this ldreyfni creeotunn rfom hte rdrahco.
CONRADE And thought they Margaret was Hero?	RECDANO Adn htey ghttuoh tgaarMre wsa eorH?
BORACHIO Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio, but the devil my master knew she was Margaret; and partly by his oaths, which first possessed them, partly by the dark night, which 135 did deceive them, but chiefly by my villainy, which did confirm any slander that Don John had made, away went Claudio enraged, swore he would meet her as he was appointed next morning at the temple, and there, before the whole congregation, shame her with what he saw oernight 140 and send her home again without a husband.	OARCHBIO The inePcr nad uliaoCd idd, tbu teh vidle, my tsrema, wnek htta it saw rMgtarae. eTyh edlviebe hte caraedh pyalalirt eecasbu of my rsmtesa ihmnctohteywis irtsf uadces hetm to dbtuo eHrodna apltaliry ceaeubs of hwo kdar dan egcnveiid hte gniht aws, but ymlsot ecbause of my uallvsiino ianotcs, ciwhh mnodriefc noD shnJo anserld. iduolaC wten wyaa eragedn, gawesnri tath hde etme oeHr at het emtple as ndnlape nad heter, rboeef the eretni otrnoegaincg, haems ehr iwht hwat hed seordveicd and dnes hre eohm othuitw a hubsdan.
SECOND WATCHMAN We charge you, in the Princes name, stand!	SENCDO NHWCAAMT We gcrahe oyu, in teh irsPnec eamn, to ptso!
FIRST WATCHMAN Call up the right Master Constable. We have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery that ever was known in the commonwealth.	TRISF THAMWACN aCll up eth Mtrase aslnbteoC eborrgyD. We haev edroecrve vdorceeer=vddesciroe; ehlercy=treachery recovered the ostm unadgorse ipece of lechery hatt aws rvee onnwk in the moncothalwem.
SECOND WATCHMAN 145 And one Deformed is one of them. I know him; he wears a lock.	NEOCDS TWNAMACH dAn eno of meth is het niiacrlm merfdeDo. I wkon imh; he ewasr a cokl of hiar.
CONRADE Masters, masters	EARDNCO etGemneln, neltegmne
SECOND WATCHMAN (to BORACHIO) Youll be made bring Deformed forth, I warrant you.	ODNSCE NACWMATH (to BORACHIO) I bte ylluo be edfocr to gbnir fDeermdo raodrfw.
FIRST WATCHMAN 150 Masters, never speak, we charge you, let us obey you go with us.	RSFIT CNAHWTMA eentGmlen, ndot sapke. We boey beoy = order obey oyu to go itwh us.
BORACHIO We are like to prove a goodly commodity, being taken up of these mens bills.	BOORACHI eWer pbralboy a yevr luavebal atchc rof heset usyg.
CONRADE A commodity in question, I warrant you.Come, well 155 obey you.	CAOEDNR Wlel, our uaevl is betealdab, I bte. tLes go, lewl byeo yuo.
Exeunt	hTey lla etxi.