Much Ado About Nothing

by: William Shakespeare

  Act 3 Scene 2

page Act 3 Scene 2 Page 2

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DON PEDRO

What, sigh for the toothache?

DON PEDRO

What, are you moaning on about your toothache?

LEONATO

Where is but a humor or a worm.

LEONATO

BENEDICK

Well, everyone can master a grief but he that has it.

BENEDICK

Well, everyone knows how to overcome an injury except the one who actually has one.

CLAUDIO

Yet say I, he is in love.

CLAUDIO

I repeat, he’s in love.

DON PEDRO

25There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be a fancy
that he hath to strange disguises, as to be a Dutchman
today, a Frenchman tomorrow, or in the shape of two
countries at once, as a German from the waist downward,
all slops, and a Spaniard from the hip upward, no doublet.
30Unless he have a fancy to this foolery, as it appears he hath,
he is no fool for fancy, as you would have it appear he is.

DON PEDRO

No, there’s no love in him, unless you mean his love for strange costumes. He’s a Dutchman today, a Frenchman tomorrow, and sometimes wears the clothing of two countries at once: a German from the waist down, with his baggy pants, and a Spaniard from the hips up, with a cloak and no jacket. Unless you’re talking about his love for this kind of foolishness—which, judging from his appearance, he has—he is no fool for love, as you pretend.

CLAUDIO

If he be not in love with some woman, there is no believing
old signs. He brushes his hat o' mornings. What should
that bode?

CLAUDIO

If he’s not in love with a woman, then you can’t trust the usual symptoms. He brushes his hat in the mornings. What do you think that means?

DON PEDRO

35Hath any man seen him at the barber’s?

DON PEDRO

Has any man seen him at the barber’s?

CLAUDIO

No, but the barber’s man hath been seen with him, and the
old ornament of his cheek hath already stuffed tennis balls.

CLAUDIO

No, but the barber’s assistant has been seen with him. The beard that used to decorate Benedick’s cheeks has been shaved off and is now stuffing

tennis balls

Tennis balls used to be stuffed with hair.

tennis balls
.

LEONATO

Indeed, he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard.

LEONATO

Getting rid of the beard definitely makes him look younger.

DON PEDRO

Nay, he rubs himself with civet. Can you smell him out by
40that?

DON PEDRO

And he’s rubbed himself with perfume. Can you smell out his secret now?