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BEATRICE Is it possible disdain should die while she hath such meet
food to feed it as Signor Benedick? Courtesy itself must
convert to disdain if you come in her presence.
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BEATRICE How could disdain die when you’re here? When
you’re around, even Lady Courtesy becomes Lady
Disdain.
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BENEDICK Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I am loved of
100all ladies, only you excepted. And I would I could find in
my heart that I had not a hard heart, for truly I love
none.
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BENEDICK That makes Lady Courtesy a traitor. All ladies love me, except
you. It’s too bad I’m so hard-hearted, because
I really don’t love anyone.
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BEATRICE A dear happiness to women. They would else have been
troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold
blood I am of your humor for that. I had rather hear my dog
105bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me.
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BEATRICE Women are lucky, then. You would make a nasty suitor. Thankfully,
I feel the same way you do. I have no need for romance. I would
rather listen to my dog bark at a crow than hear a man swear that he
loves me.
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BENEDICK God keep your Ladyship still in that mind, so some gentle-
man or other shall ’scape a predestinate scratched
face.
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BENEDICK Well, I hope you stay in that frame of mind or some poor man will
end up with his face all scratched up.
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BEATRICE Scratching could not make it worse an ’twere such a
face as
yours were.
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BEATRICE If he has a face like yours, a good scratching couldn’t
make him look any worse.
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BENEDICK
110Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.
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BENEDICK Listen to you, instructing me like a parrot would.
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BEATRICE A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.
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BEATRICE I’d rather be a squawking bird than an animal like
you.
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BENEDICK I would my horse had the speed of your tongue and so good
a continuer. But keep your way, i' God’s
name. I have done.
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BENEDICK I wish my horse moved as fast as your mouth and was as tireless.
That’s it—I’m done.
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BEATRICE You always end with a jade’s trick. I know you of
old.
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BEATRICE You always slip out of the argument like this. I know you from
before.
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LEONATO and DON
PEDRO come forward
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LEONATO and DON
PEDRO come forward
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DON PEDRO
115That is the sum of all, Leonato.—Signior Claudio and
Signior Benedick, my dear friend Leonato hath invited you
all. I tell him we shall stay here at the least a month, and he
heartily prays some occasion may detain us longer. I dare
swear he is no hypocrite but prays from his heart.
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DON PEDRO And that’s everything, Leonato.—Claudio,
Benedick—my dear friend Leonato has invited you all to
stay here at Messina. I told him we’ll stay for at least
a month, and he says that he hopes we’ll stay longer. I
think he’s actually serious, and not just being
polite.
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