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Much Ado About Nothing

William Shakespeare
No Fear Act 1 Scene 1
No Fear Act 1 Scene 1 Page 8

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BENEDICK

140Would you buy her, that you enquire after her?

BENEDICK

Are you thinking of buying her? Is that why you’re asking?

CLAUDIO

Can the world buy such a jewel?

CLAUDIO

Would it even be possible to buy a jewel as rare and precious as Hero?

BENEDICK

Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this with a sad
brow? Or do you play the flouting jack, to tell us Cupid is
a good hare-finder and Vulcan a rare carpenter? Come, in
145what key shall a man take you to go in the song?

BENEDICK

Yes, and you could buy a case to put it in, too. But tell me, are you speaking seriously? Or are you just teasing? If I’m going to sing along with you, I need to know what key you’re singing in.

CLAUDIO

In mine eye she is the sweetest lady that ever I looked on.

CLAUDIO

I think she’s the most wonderful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.

BENEDICK

I can see yet without spectacles, and I see no such matter.
There’s her cousin, an she were not possessed with a fury,
exceeds her as much in beauty as the first of May doth the
150last of December. But I hope you have no intent to turn
husband, have you?

BENEDICK

I’m still young enough to see without glasses, and I don’t see what you’re talking about. If her cousin Beatrice didn’t have such a nasty temper, she’d be so much more beautiful than Hero that it would be like comparing May to December. But, hey, this doesn’t mean you’re looking to get married, does it?

CLAUDIO

I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the
contrary, if Hero would be my wife.

CLAUDIO

Even if I had sworn never to marry, I wouldn’t trust myself to keep that promise if Hero would marry me.

BENEDICK

Is ’t come to this? In faith, hath not the world one man but
155he will wear his cap with suspicion? Shall I never see a
bachelor of three-score again? Go to, i' faith, an thou wilt
needs thrust thy neck into a yoke, wear the print of it, and
sigh away Sundays. Look, Don Pedro is returned to seek
you.

BENEDICK

What’s going on these days? Isn’t there one man left in the world who knows not to take a wife? She’s just going to cheat on him. Will I never see a sixty-year old bachelor again or will all men be swindled into marriage while they’re young? Go ahead, then, if you have to yoke yourself to marriage, like an ox carrying his load, and throw away your free time. Look, Don Pedro has come back for you.
Enter DON PEDRO
DON PEDRO enters.