No Fear Shakespeare: Much Ado About Nothing: Act 5 Scene 2

Original Text	Modern Text
Enter BENEDICK andMARGARET	BENEDICK andMARGARET enter.
BENEDICK Pray thee, sweet Mistress Margaret, deserve well at my hands by helping me to the speech of Beatrice.	BENEDICK Please Margaret, help me write this poem for Beatrice.
MARGARET Will you then write me a sonnet in praise of my beauty?	MARGARET Afterward, will you write a sonnet for me, praising my beauty?
BENEDICK In so high a style, Margaret, that no man living shall come 5over it, for in most comely truth thou deservest it.	BENEDICK I’ll write you such a glorious sonnet, Margaret, that no man will ever be able to come over it. You certainly deserve it. Benedick means that no man will ever improve on his sonnet;
MARGARET To have no man come over me! Why, shall I always keep below stairs?	MARGARET No man will come over me Margaret interprets “come over” in a sexual way over me ! What a life that would be!
BENEDICK Thy wit is as quick as the greyhound’s mouth; it catches.	BENEDICK Your wit is as quick as a greyhound’s jaws—it catches whatever it goes after.
MARGARET And yours as blunt as the fencer’s foils, which hit but hurt 10not.	MARGARET And your wit is as blunt as a practice sword, with its dull tip; it hits people but doesn’t hurt them.
BENEDICK A most manly wit, Margaret, it will not hurt a woman. And so, I pray thee, call Beatrice. I give thee the bucklers.	BENEDICK It’s just that my wit is very gentlemanly, Margaret, and refuses to hurt a woman. Now please, tell Beatrice to come out. I admit defeat; I give you the bucklers A “buckler” is a shield with a spike in the middle of it. bucklers .
MARGARET Give us the swords; we have bucklers of our own.	MARGARET No, you should give a woman your sword—we have our own bucklers Margaret interprets “buckler” as the vagina (and the sword as the penis). bucklers !
BENEDICK If you use them, Margaret, you must put in the pikes with 15a vice, and they are dangerous weapons for maids.	BENEDICK Watch out, though, Margaret—virgins shouldn’t be brandishing their bucklers around.
MARGARET Well, I will call Beatrice to you, who I think hath legs.	MARGARET I’ll go get Beatrice for you, who can walk here by herself—she has legs.