Twelfth Night

by: William Shakespeare

Original Text

Modern Text

FOOL
Madman, thou errest. I say, there is no darkness but ignorance, in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog.
FOOL
You’re wrong, you madman. There’s no darkness except ignorance, and you’re more ignorant than the Egyptians during the plague of fog.
MALVOLIO
40I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell. And I say, there was never man thus abused. I am no more mad than you are. Make the trial of it in any constant question.
MALVOLIO
I tell you, this house is as dark as ignorance. And I tell you, no man has ever been treated worse than me. I’m no more insane than you are, and I’ll prove it. Ask me any commonsense question.
FOOL
What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wildfowl?
FOOL
What was the philosopher Pythagoras’s belief about wild birds?
MALVOLIO
45That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird.
MALVOLIO
That our grandmother’s soul could end up inhabiting a bird.
FOOL
What thinkest thou of his opinion?
FOOL
What do you think of his belief?
MALVOLIO
I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.
MALVOLIO
I respect the soul very much, so I disagree with his belief.
FOOL
Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness. Thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras ere I will allow of thy wits, and fear to kill a woodcock lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well.
FOOL
Well then, goodbye. Stay in the dark. I’ll only admit that you’re sane when you agree with Pythagoras and hesitate to kill a bird because it might contain your grandmother’s soul. Goodbye.
MALVOLIO
Sir Topas, Sir Topas!
MALVOLIO
Sir Topas, Sir Topas!
SIR TOBY BELCH
My most exquisite Sir Topas!
SIR TOBY BELCH
The brilliant Sir Topas!
FOOL
Nay, I am for all waters.
FOOL
I can do anything!
MARIA
55Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and gown.
He sees thee not.
MARIA
You could’ve done this without your beard and gown. He couldn’t see you.