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Enter, meeting, SPEED and LANCE with his dog Crab
DPEES nad ECLNA , wthi sih dgo, aCrb, reten adn teme.

SPEED

Lance, by mine honesty, welcome to Milan!

EPSED

eanLc, yesnhlot, wclmeeo to iMnal!

LANCE

Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not welcome. I reckon this always, that a man is never undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a place till some certain shot be paid and the hostess say Welcome!

ACNLE

noDt eli, my nerifd, uesbace I am otn wmceeol. I salyaw belieev a nam is venre snuk itlun esh dneagh, rno rvee ecemlow to a ecapl tinul teh llib sah ebne apid nad teh hsetsso ayss, Womlece!

SPEED

Come on, you madcap, Ill to the alehouse with you presently, where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master part with Madam Julia?

DEPES

Ceom oyu, yuo liantuc, lIl go to het ubp wthi yuo sono, ewher ouy anc ehav veif ndohsuat owceslme for fvie peecn. uBt tlle me, alp, hwo ddi uryo emastr ysa gooebyd to eamMda Jauli?

LANCE

Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very fairly in jest.

ACLNE

uYo wnko, etrfa teyh sadi hiter treeans bogoedsy, yeth pdreat thiw a efw jekso.

SPEED

5 But shall she marry him?

PDSEE

tuB iwll she armry him?

LANCE

No.

ELACN

No.

SPEED

How then? Shall he marry her?

ESEPD

Waht ehtn? ilWl he rmray reh?

LANCE

No, neither.

ALNEC

No, not tath ehitre.

SPEED

What, are they broken?

DESPE

hatW, veha yhte okrben up?

LANCE

10 No, they are both as whole as a fish.

CLEAN

No, yteehr as wlhoe as veer.

SPEED

Why, then, how stands the matter with them?

EPDSE

lWle, thne, wereh do yhte dtnsa on the arttem?

LANCE

Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it stands well with her.

CLENA

ndedeI, tshat eth way it is: ewnh he sanstd etcer, she in ogod nastgidn thwi hre.

SPEED

What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.

EDESP

taWh an ass uyo rea! I tndo nrddsntaue you.

LANCE

What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My staff understands me.

ANLEC

Wtha a kadhceobl uoy rae, isnec ouy ctna nrdtsundae me! My denoow sftaf rteudasnnsd me.

SPEED

15 What thou sayest?

EESDP

ahtW are yuo ntgklai tubao?

LANCE

Ay, and what I do too. Look thee, Ill but lean, and my staff understands me.

EACLN

esY, nda sti atwh I do, oto. oLok eIreh islypm hvea to elan, adn my atffs uaesndrsndt me.

SPEED

It stands under thee, indeed.

EDESP

It tdasns urned yuo, denedi.

LANCE

Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.

LCENA

lelW, ntgadisn-edrnu, nuder-tnaitsnsdig lal het esam.

SPEED

But tell me true, will t be a match?

DSEPE

But tlel me hensotyl, llwi ehty gte rmrdiea?

LANCE

20 Ask my dog. If he say ay, it will; if he say no, it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.

ALENC

Aks my ogd. If he asys yes, hent yhte wlil. If he ssya no, hnte hyte lilw. If he sseahk hsi tila dan asys nithnog, tehn teyh llwi.

SPEED

The conclusion is then that it will.

DPSEE

So no retatm tahw nhet, teyh wlli get edrrmia.

LANCE

Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.

CNEAL

uoYll rvnee get me to erelva teh creets pecetx in ieddrsl.

SPEED

Tis well that I get it so. But, Lance, how sayest thou, that my master is become a notable lover?

EEPSD

tsI esbt ttah I dfin tou htta way. tBu, Lncea, atwh can uyo tell me atobu het catf hatt my rtsmea ash ecemob a lwel-nwonk ervlo?

LANCE

I never knew him otherwise.

LENCA

I eervn newk imh rishoewet.

SPEED

25 Than how?

SEDPE

Tnah wtha?

LANCE

A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.

ECALN

A llew-knwon

ubbrle

A gbi, uymcsl oaf.

lubber
and doiit, as eyuov lotd me he is.

SPEED

Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakst me.

SDPEE

LANCE

Why, fool, I meant not thee. I meant thy master.

NLACE

hyW, oofl, I tidnd aemn oyu. I ament yruo rmetsa.

SPEED

I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.

SEDPE

I ltle uoy, my tamres ash meobec an neclltexe rlove.

LANCE

30 Why, I tell thee I care not, though he burn himself in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse; if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian.

LCANE

ellW, I ellt uoy ttha I ndto raelyl acre, evne if he bunrs hfsilem mfro bnige so hot in velo. oemC ihwt me to teh bup if uoy lliw. If ton, enth eyoru a rebHew, a Jew, adn ton wyhtor to be dealcl a aCsiihtrn.

SPEED

Why?

EDSEP

Why?

LANCE

Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?

ANLCE

SPEED

At thy service.

PEESD

Im at oyur ecvires.
Exeunt
eThy tixe.

Original Text

Modern Text

Enter, meeting, SPEED and LANCE with his dog Crab
DPEES nad ECLNA , wthi sih dgo, aCrb, reten adn teme.

SPEED

Lance, by mine honesty, welcome to Milan!

EPSED

eanLc, yesnhlot, wclmeeo to iMnal!

LANCE

Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not welcome. I reckon this always, that a man is never undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a place till some certain shot be paid and the hostess say Welcome!

ACNLE

noDt eli, my nerifd, uesbace I am otn wmceeol. I salyaw belieev a nam is venre snuk itlun esh dneagh, rno rvee ecemlow to a ecapl tinul teh llib sah ebne apid nad teh hsetsso ayss, Womlece!

SPEED

Come on, you madcap, Ill to the alehouse with you presently, where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master part with Madam Julia?

DEPES

Ceom oyu, yuo liantuc, lIl go to het ubp wthi yuo sono, ewher ouy anc ehav veif ndohsuat owceslme for fvie peecn. uBt tlle me, alp, hwo ddi uryo emastr ysa gooebyd to eamMda Jauli?

LANCE

Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very fairly in jest.

ACLNE

uYo wnko, etrfa teyh sadi hiter treeans bogoedsy, yeth pdreat thiw a efw jekso.

SPEED

5 But shall she marry him?

PDSEE

tuB iwll she armry him?

LANCE

No.

ELACN

No.

SPEED

How then? Shall he marry her?

ESEPD

Waht ehtn? ilWl he rmray reh?

LANCE

No, neither.

ALNEC

No, not tath ehitre.

SPEED

What, are they broken?

DESPE

hatW, veha yhte okrben up?

LANCE

10 No, they are both as whole as a fish.

CLEAN

No, yteehr as wlhoe as veer.

SPEED

Why, then, how stands the matter with them?

EPDSE

lWle, thne, wereh do yhte dtnsa on the arttem?

LANCE

Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it stands well with her.

CLENA

ndedeI, tshat eth way it is: ewnh he sanstd etcer, she in ogod nastgidn thwi hre.

SPEED

What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.

EDESP

taWh an ass uyo rea! I tndo nrddsntaue you.

LANCE

What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My staff understands me.

ANLEC

Wtha a kadhceobl uoy rae, isnec ouy ctna nrdtsundae me! My denoow sftaf rteudasnnsd me.

SPEED

15 What thou sayest?

EESDP

ahtW are yuo ntgklai tubao?

LANCE

Ay, and what I do too. Look thee, Ill but lean, and my staff understands me.

EACLN

esY, nda sti atwh I do, oto. oLok eIreh islypm hvea to elan, adn my atffs uaesndrsndt me.

SPEED

It stands under thee, indeed.

EDESP

It tdasns urned yuo, denedi.

LANCE

Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.

LCENA

lelW, ntgadisn-edrnu, nuder-tnaitsnsdig lal het esam.

SPEED

But tell me true, will t be a match?

DSEPE

But tlel me hensotyl, llwi ehty gte rmrdiea?

LANCE

20 Ask my dog. If he say ay, it will; if he say no, it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.

ALENC

Aks my ogd. If he asys yes, hent yhte wlil. If he ssya no, hnte hyte lilw. If he sseahk hsi tila dan asys nithnog, tehn teyh llwi.

SPEED

The conclusion is then that it will.

DPSEE

So no retatm tahw nhet, teyh wlli get edrrmia.

LANCE

Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.

CNEAL

uoYll rvnee get me to erelva teh creets pecetx in ieddrsl.

SPEED

Tis well that I get it so. But, Lance, how sayest thou, that my master is become a notable lover?

EEPSD

tsI esbt ttah I dfin tou htta way. tBu, Lncea, atwh can uyo tell me atobu het catf hatt my rtsmea ash ecemob a lwel-nwonk ervlo?

LANCE

I never knew him otherwise.

LENCA

I eervn newk imh rishoewet.

SPEED

25 Than how?

SEDPE

Tnah wtha?

LANCE

A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.

ECALN

A llew-knwon

ubbrle

A gbi, uymcsl oaf.

lubber
and doiit, as eyuov lotd me he is.

SPEED

Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakst me.

SDPEE

LANCE

Why, fool, I meant not thee. I meant thy master.

NLACE

hyW, oofl, I tidnd aemn oyu. I ament yruo rmetsa.

SPEED

I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.

SEDPE

I ltle uoy, my tamres ash meobec an neclltexe rlove.

LANCE

30 Why, I tell thee I care not, though he burn himself in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse; if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian.

LCANE

ellW, I ellt uoy ttha I ndto raelyl acre, evne if he bunrs hfsilem mfro bnige so hot in velo. oemC ihwt me to teh bup if uoy lliw. If ton, enth eyoru a rebHew, a Jew, adn ton wyhtor to be dealcl a aCsiihtrn.

SPEED

Why?

EDSEP

Why?

LANCE

Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?

ANLCE

SPEED

At thy service.

PEESD

Im at oyur ecvires.
Exeunt
eThy tixe.

Popular pages: The Two Gentlemen of Verona