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Enter LANCE with his dog, Crab
Enter LANCE with his dog, Crab

LANCE

When a man’s servant shall play the cur with him, look you, it goes hard—one that I brought up of a puppy, one that I saved from drowning when three or four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it. I have taught him, even as one would say precisely, “Thus I would teach a dog.” I was sent to deliver him as a present to Mistress Sylvia from my master, and I came no sooner into the dining chamber, but he steps me to her trencher and steals her capon’s leg. O, ’tis a foul thing when a cur cannot keep himself in all companies! I would have, as one should say, one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be, as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did, I think verily he had been hanged for ’t; sure as I live, he had suffered for ’t. You shall judge. He thrusts me himself into the company of three or four gentlemanlike dogs, under the Duke’s table. He had not been there—bless the mark!—a pissing while but all the chamber smelt him. “Out with the dog!” says one; “What cur is that?” says another. “Whip him out” says the third. “Hang him up” says the Duke. I, having been acquainted with the smell before, knew it was Crab, and goes me to the fellow that whips the dogs. “Friend,” quoth I “you mean to whip the dog?” “Ay, marry do I,” quoth he. “You do him the more wrong,” quoth I; “’twas I did the thing you wot of.” He makes me no more ado, but whips me out of the chamber. How many masters would do this for his servant? Nay, I’ll be sworn I have sat in the stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had been executed. I have stood on the pillory for geese he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for ’t.—Thou think’st not of this now. Nay, I remember the trick you served me when I took my leave of Madam Sylvia. Did not I bid thee still mark me and do as I do? When didst thou see me heave up my leg and make water against a gentlewoman’s farthingale? Didst thou ever see me do such a trick?

LANCE

When a man’s servant shall play the cur with him, look you, it goes hard—one that I brought up of a puppy, one that I saved from drowning when three or four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it. I have taught him, even as one would say precisely, “Thus I would teach a dog.” I was sent to deliver him as a present to Mistress Sylvia from my master, and I came no sooner into the dining chamber, but he steps me to her trencher and steals her capon’s leg. O, ’tis a foul thing when a cur cannot keep himself in all companies! I would have, as one should say, one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be, as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did, I think verily he had been hanged for ’t; sure as I live, he had suffered for ’t. You shall judge. He thrusts me himself into the company of three or four gentlemanlike dogs, under the Duke’s table. He had not been there—bless the mark!—a pissing while but all the chamber smelt him. “Out with the dog!” says one; “What cur is that?” says another. “Whip him out” says the third. “Hang him up” says the Duke. I, having been acquainted with the smell before, knew it was Crab, and goes me to the fellow that whips the dogs. “Friend,” quoth I “you mean to whip the dog?” “Ay, marry do I,” quoth he. “You do him the more wrong,” quoth I; “’twas I did the thing you wot of.” He makes me no more ado, but whips me out of the chamber. How many masters would do this for his servant? Nay, I’ll be sworn I have sat in the stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had been executed. I have stood on the pillory for geese he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for ’t.—Thou think’st not of this now. Nay, I remember the trick you served me when I took my leave of Madam Sylvia. Did not I bid thee still mark me and do as I do? When didst thou see me heave up my leg and make water against a gentlewoman’s farthingale? Didst thou ever see me do such a trick?
Enter PROTEUS and JULIA disguised
Enter PROTEUS and JULIA disguised

PROTEUS

[To JULIA] Sebastian is thy name? I like thee well,
And will employ thee in some service presently.

PROTEUS

[To JULIA] Sebastian is thy name? I like thee well,
And will employ thee in some service presently.

JULIA

In what you please. I’ll do what I can.

JULIA

In what you please. I’ll do what I can.

PROTEUS

5 I hope thou wilt.

PROTEUS

I hope thou wilt.
To LANCE
To LANCE
How now, you whoreson peasant,
Where have you been these two days loitering?
How now, you whoreson peasant,
Where have you been these two days loitering?

LANCE

Marry, sir, I carried Mistress Sylvia the dog you bade me.

LANCE

Marry, sir, I carried Mistress Sylvia the dog you bade me.

PROTEUS

And what says she to my little jewel?

PROTEUS

And what says she to my little jewel?

LANCE

10 Marry, she says your dog was a cur, and tells you currish thanks is good enough for such a present.

LANCE

Marry, she says your dog was a cur, and tells you currish thanks is good enough for such a present.

PROTEUS

But she received my dog?

PROTEUS

But she received my dog?

LANCE

No, indeed, did she not. Here have I brought him back again.

LANCE

No, indeed, did she not. Here have I brought him back again.
He points to his dog.
He points to his dog.

PROTEUS

What, didst thou offer her this from me?

PROTEUS

What, didst thou offer her this from me?

LANCE

Ay, sir: the other squirrel was stolen from me by the hangman boys in the marketplace, and then I offered her mine own, who is a dog as big as ten of yours, and therefore the gift the greater.

LANCE

Ay, sir: the other squirrel was stolen from me by the hangman boys in the marketplace, and then I offered her mine own, who is a dog as big as ten of yours, and therefore the gift the greater.

PROTEUS

15 Go get thee hence, and find my dog again,
Or ne’er return again into my sight.
Away, I say! Stayest thou to vex me here?

PROTEUS

Go get thee hence, and find my dog again,
Or ne’er return again into my sight.
Away, I say! Stayest thou to vex me here?
Exit LANCE with Crab
Exit LANCE with Crab
A slave, that still an end turns me to shame!—
Sebastian, I have entertainèd thee,
20 Partly that I have need of such a youth
That can with some discretion do my business,
For ’tis no trusting to yond foolish lout,
But chiefly for thy face and thy behavior,
Which, if my augury deceive me not,
25 Witness good bringing up, fortune, and truth.
Therefore know thou, for this I entertain thee.
Go presently, and take this ring with thee.
A slave, that still an end turns me to shame!—
Sebastian, I have entertainèd thee,
Partly that I have need of such a youth
That can with some discretion do my business,
For ’tis no trusting to yond foolish lout,
But chiefly for thy face and thy behavior,
Which, if my augury deceive me not,
Witness good bringing up, fortune, and truth.
Therefore know thou, for this I entertain thee.
Go presently, and take this ring with thee.
Giving a ring
Giving a ring
Deliver it to Madam Sylvia—
She loved me well delivered it to me.
Deliver it to Madam Sylvia—
She loved me well delivered it to me.

JULIA

30 It seems you loved not her, to leave her token.
She’s dead, belike?

JULIA

It seems you loved not her, to leave her token.
She’s dead, belike?

PROTEUS

Not so. I think she lives.

PROTEUS

Not so. I think she lives.

JULIA

Alas!

JULIA

Alas!

PROTEUS

Why dost thou cry “Alas”?

PROTEUS

Why dost thou cry “Alas”?

JULIA

35 I cannot choose but pity her.

JULIA

I cannot choose but pity her.

PROTEUS

Wherefore shouldst thou pity her?

PROTEUS

Wherefore shouldst thou pity her?

JULIA

Because methinks that she loved you as well
As you do love your lady Sylvia.
She dreams on him that has forgot her love;
40 You dote on her that cares not for your love.
’Tis pity love should be so contrary;
And thinking on it makes me cry “alas!”

JULIA

Because methinks that she loved you as well
As you do love your lady Sylvia.
She dreams on him that has forgot her love;
You dote on her that cares not for your love.
’Tis pity love should be so contrary;
And thinking on it makes me cry “alas!”

PROTEUS

Well, give her that ring and therewithal
This letter. [Giving a letter] That’s her chamber. Tell my lady
45 I claim the promise for her heavenly picture.
Your message done, hie home unto my chamber,
Where thou shalt find me, sad and solitary.

PROTEUS

Well, give her that ring and therewithal
This letter. [Giving a letter] That’s her chamber. Tell my lady
I claim the promise for her heavenly picture.
Your message done, hie home unto my chamber,
Where thou shalt find me, sad and solitary.
Exit PROTEUS
Exit PROTEUS

JULIA

How many women would do such a message?
Alas, poor Proteus! thou hast entertained
50 A fox to be the shepherd of thy lambs.
Alas, poor fool, why do I pity him
That with his very heart despiseth me?
Because he loves her, he despiseth me;
Because I love him, I must pity him.
55 This ring I gave him when he parted from me,
To bind him to remember my good will;
And now am I, unhappy messenger,
To plead for that which I would not obtain,
To carry that which I would have refused,
60 To praise his faith, which I would have dispraised.
I am my master’s true-confirmèd love,
But cannot be true servant to my master
Unless I prove false traitor to myself.
Yet will I woo for him, but yet so coldly
65 As, heaven it knows, I would not have him speed.

JULIA

How many women would do such a message?
Alas, poor Proteus! thou hast entertained
A fox to be the shepherd of thy lambs.
Alas, poor fool, why do I pity him
That with his very heart despiseth me?
Because he loves her, he despiseth me;
Because I love him, I must pity him.
This ring I gave him when he parted from me,
To bind him to remember my good will;
And now am I, unhappy messenger,
To plead for that which I would not obtain,
To carry that which I would have refused,
To praise his faith, which I would have dispraised.
I am my master’s true-confirmèd love,
But cannot be true servant to my master
Unless I prove false traitor to myself.
Yet will I woo for him, but yet so coldly
As, heaven it knows, I would not have him speed.
Enter SYLVIA attended
Enter SYLVIA attended
Gentlewoman, good day! I pray you be my means
To bring me where to speak with Madam Sylvia.
Gentlewoman, good day! I pray you be my means
To bring me where to speak with Madam Sylvia.

SYLVIA

What would you with her, if that I be she?

SYLVIA

What would you with her, if that I be she?

JULIA

If you be she, I do entreat your patience
70 To hear me speak the message I am sent on.

JULIA

If you be she, I do entreat your patience
To hear me speak the message I am sent on.

SYLVIA

From whom?

SYLVIA

From whom?

JULIA

From my master, Sir Proteus, madam.

JULIA

From my master, Sir Proteus, madam.

SYLVIA

O, he sends you for a picture?

SYLVIA

O, he sends you for a picture?

JULIA

Ay, madam.

JULIA

Ay, madam.

SYLVIA

75 Ursula, bring my picture there.

SYLVIA

Ursula, bring my picture there.
A servant brings SYLVIA a picture, which she gives to JULIA.
A servant brings SYLVIA a picture, which she gives to JULIA.
Go, give your master this. Tell him from me,
One Julia, that his changing thoughts forget,
Would better fit his chamber than this shadow.
Go, give your master this. Tell him from me,
One Julia, that his changing thoughts forget,
Would better fit his chamber than this shadow.

JULIA

Madam, please you peruse this letter.—

JULIA

Madam, please you peruse this letter.—
She offers a letter and withdraws it.
She offers a letter and withdraws it.
80 Pardon me, madam; I have unadvised
Delivered you a paper that I should not.
Pardon me, madam; I have unadvised
Delivered you a paper that I should not.
She gives another letter.
She gives another letter.
This is the letter to your ladyship.
This is the letter to your ladyship.

SYLVIA

I pray thee, let me look on that again.

SYLVIA

I pray thee, let me look on that again.

JULIA

It may not be. Good madam, pardon me.

JULIA

It may not be. Good madam, pardon me.

SYLVIA

85 There, hold!
I will not look upon your master’s lines.
I know they are stuffed with protestations
And full of newfound oaths, which he will break
As easily as I do tear his paper.

SYLVIA

There, hold!
I will not look upon your master’s lines.
I know they are stuffed with protestations
And full of newfound oaths, which he will break
As easily as I do tear his paper.
She tears the letter.
She tears the letter.

JULIA

90 [Offering the ring] Madam, he sends your ladyship this ring.

JULIA

[Offering the ring] Madam, he sends your ladyship this ring.

SYLVIA

The more shame for him that he sends it me,
For I have heard him say a thousand times
His Julia gave it him at his departure.
Though his false finger have profaned the ring,
95 Mine shall not do his Julia so much wrong.

SYLVIA

The more shame for him that he sends it me,
For I have heard him say a thousand times
His Julia gave it him at his departure.
Though his false finger have profaned the ring,
Mine shall not do his Julia so much wrong.

JULIA

She thanks you.

JULIA

She thanks you.

SYLVIA

What sayst thou?

SYLVIA

What sayst thou?

JULIA

I thank you, madam, that you tender her.
Poor gentlewoman! My master wrongs her much.

JULIA

I thank you, madam, that you tender her.
Poor gentlewoman! My master wrongs her much.

SYLVIA

100 Dost thou know her?

SYLVIA

Dost thou know her?

JULIA

Almost as well as I do know myself.
To think upon her woes I do protest
That I have wept a hundred several times.

JULIA

Almost as well as I do know myself.
To think upon her woes I do protest
That I have wept a hundred several times.

SYLVIA

Belike she thinks that Proteus hath forsook her.

SYLVIA

Belike she thinks that Proteus hath forsook her.

JULIA

105 I think she doth, and that’s her cause of sorrow.

JULIA

I think she doth, and that’s her cause of sorrow.

SYLVIA

Is she not passing fair?

SYLVIA

Is she not passing fair?

JULIA

She hath been fairer, madam, than she is.
When she did think my master loved her well,
She, in my judgment, was as fair as you;
110 But since she did neglect her looking-glass
And threw her sun-expelling mask away,
The air hath starved the roses in her cheeks
And pinched the lily tincture of her face,
That now she is become as black as I.

JULIA

She hath been fairer, madam, than she is.
When she did think my master loved her well,
She, in my judgment, was as fair as you;
But since she did neglect her looking-glass
And threw her sun-expelling mask away,
The air hath starved the roses in her cheeks
And pinched the lily tincture of her face,
That now she is become as black as I.

SYLVIA

115 How tall was she?

SYLVIA

How tall was she?

JULIA

About my stature; for at Pentecost,
When all our pageants of delight were played,
Our youth got me to play the woman’s part,
And I was trimmed in Madam Julia’s gown,
120 Which servèd me as fit, by all men’s judgments,
As if the garment had been made for me:
Therefore I know she is about my height.
And at that time I made her weep agood,
For I did play a lamentable part:
125 Madam, ’twas Ariadne passioning
For Theseus’ perjury and unjust flight;
Which I so lively acted with my tears
That my poor mistress, movèd therewithal,
Wept bitterly; and would I might be dead
130 If I in thought felt not her very sorrow!

JULIA

About my stature; for at Pentecost,
When all our pageants of delight were played,
Our youth got me to play the woman’s part,
And I was trimmed in Madam Julia’s gown,
Which servèd me as fit, by all men’s judgments,
As if the garment had been made for me:
Therefore I know she is about my height.
And at that time I made her weep agood,
For I did play a lamentable part:
Madam, ’twas Ariadne passioning
For Theseus’ perjury and unjust flight;
Which I so lively acted with my tears
That my poor mistress, movèd therewithal,
Wept bitterly; and would I might be dead
If I in thought felt not her very sorrow!

SYLVIA

She is beholding to thee, gentle youth.
Alas, poor lady, desolate and left!
I weep myself, to think upon thy words.
Here, youth, there is my purse.

SYLVIA

She is beholding to thee, gentle youth.
Alas, poor lady, desolate and left!
I weep myself, to think upon thy words.
Here, youth, there is my purse.
She gives money.
She gives money.
135 I give thee this
For thy sweet mistress’ sake, because thou lov’st her.
Farewell.
I give thee this
For thy sweet mistress’ sake, because thou lov’st her.
Farewell.
Exit SYLVIA , with attendants
Exit SYLVIA , with attendants

JULIA

And she shall thank you for ’t, if e’er you know her.—
A virtuous gentlewoman, mild and beautiful!
140 I hope my master’s suit will be but cold,
Since she respects my mistress’ love so much.
Alas, how love can trifle with itself!
Here is her picture.

JULIA

And she shall thank you for ’t, if e’er you know her.—
A virtuous gentlewoman, mild and beautiful!
I hope my master’s suit will be but cold,
Since she respects my mistress’ love so much.
Alas, how love can trifle with itself!
Here is her picture.
She looks at the picture.
She looks at the picture.
Let me see, I think
145 If I had such a tire, this face of mine
Were full as lovely as is this of hers;
And yet the painter flattered her a little,
Unless I flatter with myself too much.
Her hair is auburn, mine is perfect yellow;
150 If that be all the difference in his love,
I’ll get me such a colored periwig.
Her eyes are grey as glass, and so are mine.
Ay, but her forehead’s low, and mine’s as high.
What should it be that he respects in her
155 But I can make respective in myself,
If this fond Love were not a blinded god?
Come, shadow, come, and take this shadow up,
For ’tis thy rival.
Let me see, I think
If I had such a tire, this face of mine
Were full as lovely as is this of hers;
And yet the painter flattered her a little,
Unless I flatter with myself too much.
Her hair is auburn, mine is perfect yellow;
If that be all the difference in his love,
I’ll get me such a colored periwig.
Her eyes are grey as glass, and so are mine.
Ay, but her forehead’s low, and mine’s as high.
What should it be that he respects in her
But I can make respective in myself,
If this fond Love were not a blinded god?
Come, shadow, come, and take this shadow up,
For ’tis thy rival.
She picks up the picture.
She picks up the picture.
O thou senseless form,
160 Thou shalt be worshiped, kissed, loved, and adored!
And, were there sense in his idolatry,
My substance should be statue in thy stead.
I’ll use thee kindly for thy mistress’ sake,
That used me so; or else, by Jove I vow,
165 I should have scratched out your unseeing eyes
To make my master out of love with thee!
O thou senseless form,
Thou shalt be worshiped, kissed, loved, and adored!
And, were there sense in his idolatry,
My substance should be statue in thy stead.
I’ll use thee kindly for thy mistress’ sake,
That used me so; or else, by Jove I vow,
I should have scratched out your unseeing eyes
To make my master out of love with thee!
Exit
Exit

Original Text

Modern Text

Enter LANCE with his dog, Crab
Enter LANCE with his dog, Crab

LANCE

When a man’s servant shall play the cur with him, look you, it goes hard—one that I brought up of a puppy, one that I saved from drowning when three or four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it. I have taught him, even as one would say precisely, “Thus I would teach a dog.” I was sent to deliver him as a present to Mistress Sylvia from my master, and I came no sooner into the dining chamber, but he steps me to her trencher and steals her capon’s leg. O, ’tis a foul thing when a cur cannot keep himself in all companies! I would have, as one should say, one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be, as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did, I think verily he had been hanged for ’t; sure as I live, he had suffered for ’t. You shall judge. He thrusts me himself into the company of three or four gentlemanlike dogs, under the Duke’s table. He had not been there—bless the mark!—a pissing while but all the chamber smelt him. “Out with the dog!” says one; “What cur is that?” says another. “Whip him out” says the third. “Hang him up” says the Duke. I, having been acquainted with the smell before, knew it was Crab, and goes me to the fellow that whips the dogs. “Friend,” quoth I “you mean to whip the dog?” “Ay, marry do I,” quoth he. “You do him the more wrong,” quoth I; “’twas I did the thing you wot of.” He makes me no more ado, but whips me out of the chamber. How many masters would do this for his servant? Nay, I’ll be sworn I have sat in the stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had been executed. I have stood on the pillory for geese he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for ’t.—Thou think’st not of this now. Nay, I remember the trick you served me when I took my leave of Madam Sylvia. Did not I bid thee still mark me and do as I do? When didst thou see me heave up my leg and make water against a gentlewoman’s farthingale? Didst thou ever see me do such a trick?

LANCE

When a man’s servant shall play the cur with him, look you, it goes hard—one that I brought up of a puppy, one that I saved from drowning when three or four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it. I have taught him, even as one would say precisely, “Thus I would teach a dog.” I was sent to deliver him as a present to Mistress Sylvia from my master, and I came no sooner into the dining chamber, but he steps me to her trencher and steals her capon’s leg. O, ’tis a foul thing when a cur cannot keep himself in all companies! I would have, as one should say, one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be, as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did, I think verily he had been hanged for ’t; sure as I live, he had suffered for ’t. You shall judge. He thrusts me himself into the company of three or four gentlemanlike dogs, under the Duke’s table. He had not been there—bless the mark!—a pissing while but all the chamber smelt him. “Out with the dog!” says one; “What cur is that?” says another. “Whip him out” says the third. “Hang him up” says the Duke. I, having been acquainted with the smell before, knew it was Crab, and goes me to the fellow that whips the dogs. “Friend,” quoth I “you mean to whip the dog?” “Ay, marry do I,” quoth he. “You do him the more wrong,” quoth I; “’twas I did the thing you wot of.” He makes me no more ado, but whips me out of the chamber. How many masters would do this for his servant? Nay, I’ll be sworn I have sat in the stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had been executed. I have stood on the pillory for geese he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for ’t.—Thou think’st not of this now. Nay, I remember the trick you served me when I took my leave of Madam Sylvia. Did not I bid thee still mark me and do as I do? When didst thou see me heave up my leg and make water against a gentlewoman’s farthingale? Didst thou ever see me do such a trick?
Enter PROTEUS and JULIA disguised
Enter PROTEUS and JULIA disguised

PROTEUS

[To JULIA] Sebastian is thy name? I like thee well,
And will employ thee in some service presently.

PROTEUS

[To JULIA] Sebastian is thy name? I like thee well,
And will employ thee in some service presently.

JULIA

In what you please. I’ll do what I can.

JULIA

In what you please. I’ll do what I can.

PROTEUS

5 I hope thou wilt.

PROTEUS

I hope thou wilt.
To LANCE
To LANCE
How now, you whoreson peasant,
Where have you been these two days loitering?
How now, you whoreson peasant,
Where have you been these two days loitering?

LANCE

Marry, sir, I carried Mistress Sylvia the dog you bade me.

LANCE

Marry, sir, I carried Mistress Sylvia the dog you bade me.

PROTEUS

And what says she to my little jewel?

PROTEUS

And what says she to my little jewel?

LANCE

10 Marry, she says your dog was a cur, and tells you currish thanks is good enough for such a present.

LANCE

Marry, she says your dog was a cur, and tells you currish thanks is good enough for such a present.

PROTEUS

But she received my dog?

PROTEUS

But she received my dog?

LANCE

No, indeed, did she not. Here have I brought him back again.

LANCE

No, indeed, did she not. Here have I brought him back again.
He points to his dog.
He points to his dog.

PROTEUS

What, didst thou offer her this from me?

PROTEUS

What, didst thou offer her this from me?

LANCE

Ay, sir: the other squirrel was stolen from me by the hangman boys in the marketplace, and then I offered her mine own, who is a dog as big as ten of yours, and therefore the gift the greater.

LANCE

Ay, sir: the other squirrel was stolen from me by the hangman boys in the marketplace, and then I offered her mine own, who is a dog as big as ten of yours, and therefore the gift the greater.

PROTEUS

15 Go get thee hence, and find my dog again,
Or ne’er return again into my sight.
Away, I say! Stayest thou to vex me here?

PROTEUS

Go get thee hence, and find my dog again,
Or ne’er return again into my sight.
Away, I say! Stayest thou to vex me here?
Exit LANCE with Crab
Exit LANCE with Crab
A slave, that still an end turns me to shame!—
Sebastian, I have entertainèd thee,
20 Partly that I have need of such a youth
That can with some discretion do my business,
For ’tis no trusting to yond foolish lout,
But chiefly for thy face and thy behavior,
Which, if my augury deceive me not,
25 Witness good bringing up, fortune, and truth.
Therefore know thou, for this I entertain thee.
Go presently, and take this ring with thee.
A slave, that still an end turns me to shame!—
Sebastian, I have entertainèd thee,
Partly that I have need of such a youth
That can with some discretion do my business,
For ’tis no trusting to yond foolish lout,
But chiefly for thy face and thy behavior,
Which, if my augury deceive me not,
Witness good bringing up, fortune, and truth.
Therefore know thou, for this I entertain thee.
Go presently, and take this ring with thee.
Giving a ring
Giving a ring
Deliver it to Madam Sylvia—
She loved me well delivered it to me.
Deliver it to Madam Sylvia—
She loved me well delivered it to me.

JULIA

30 It seems you loved not her, to leave her token.
She’s dead, belike?

JULIA

It seems you loved not her, to leave her token.
She’s dead, belike?

PROTEUS

Not so. I think she lives.

PROTEUS

Not so. I think she lives.

JULIA

Alas!

JULIA

Alas!

PROTEUS

Why dost thou cry “Alas”?

PROTEUS

Why dost thou cry “Alas”?

JULIA

35 I cannot choose but pity her.

JULIA

I cannot choose but pity her.

PROTEUS

Wherefore shouldst thou pity her?

PROTEUS

Wherefore shouldst thou pity her?

JULIA

Because methinks that she loved you as well
As you do love your lady Sylvia.
She dreams on him that has forgot her love;
40 You dote on her that cares not for your love.
’Tis pity love should be so contrary;
And thinking on it makes me cry “alas!”

JULIA

Because methinks that she loved you as well
As you do love your lady Sylvia.
She dreams on him that has forgot her love;
You dote on her that cares not for your love.
’Tis pity love should be so contrary;
And thinking on it makes me cry “alas!”

PROTEUS

Well, give her that ring and therewithal
This letter. [Giving a letter] That’s her chamber. Tell my lady
45 I claim the promise for her heavenly picture.
Your message done, hie home unto my chamber,
Where thou shalt find me, sad and solitary.

PROTEUS

Well, give her that ring and therewithal
This letter. [Giving a letter] That’s her chamber. Tell my lady
I claim the promise for her heavenly picture.
Your message done, hie home unto my chamber,
Where thou shalt find me, sad and solitary.
Exit PROTEUS
Exit PROTEUS

JULIA

How many women would do such a message?
Alas, poor Proteus! thou hast entertained
50 A fox to be the shepherd of thy lambs.
Alas, poor fool, why do I pity him
That with his very heart despiseth me?
Because he loves her, he despiseth me;
Because I love him, I must pity him.
55 This ring I gave him when he parted from me,
To bind him to remember my good will;
And now am I, unhappy messenger,
To plead for that which I would not obtain,
To carry that which I would have refused,
60 To praise his faith, which I would have dispraised.
I am my master’s true-confirmèd love,
But cannot be true servant to my master
Unless I prove false traitor to myself.
Yet will I woo for him, but yet so coldly
65 As, heaven it knows, I would not have him speed.

JULIA

How many women would do such a message?
Alas, poor Proteus! thou hast entertained
A fox to be the shepherd of thy lambs.
Alas, poor fool, why do I pity him
That with his very heart despiseth me?
Because he loves her, he despiseth me;
Because I love him, I must pity him.
This ring I gave him when he parted from me,
To bind him to remember my good will;
And now am I, unhappy messenger,
To plead for that which I would not obtain,
To carry that which I would have refused,
To praise his faith, which I would have dispraised.
I am my master’s true-confirmèd love,
But cannot be true servant to my master
Unless I prove false traitor to myself.
Yet will I woo for him, but yet so coldly
As, heaven it knows, I would not have him speed.
Enter SYLVIA attended
Enter SYLVIA attended
Gentlewoman, good day! I pray you be my means
To bring me where to speak with Madam Sylvia.
Gentlewoman, good day! I pray you be my means
To bring me where to speak with Madam Sylvia.

SYLVIA

What would you with her, if that I be she?

SYLVIA

What would you with her, if that I be she?

JULIA

If you be she, I do entreat your patience
70 To hear me speak the message I am sent on.

JULIA

If you be she, I do entreat your patience
To hear me speak the message I am sent on.

SYLVIA

From whom?

SYLVIA

From whom?

JULIA

From my master, Sir Proteus, madam.

JULIA

From my master, Sir Proteus, madam.

SYLVIA

O, he sends you for a picture?

SYLVIA

O, he sends you for a picture?

JULIA

Ay, madam.

JULIA

Ay, madam.

SYLVIA

75 Ursula, bring my picture there.

SYLVIA

Ursula, bring my picture there.
A servant brings SYLVIA a picture, which she gives to JULIA.
A servant brings SYLVIA a picture, which she gives to JULIA.
Go, give your master this. Tell him from me,
One Julia, that his changing thoughts forget,
Would better fit his chamber than this shadow.
Go, give your master this. Tell him from me,
One Julia, that his changing thoughts forget,
Would better fit his chamber than this shadow.

JULIA

Madam, please you peruse this letter.—

JULIA

Madam, please you peruse this letter.—
She offers a letter and withdraws it.
She offers a letter and withdraws it.
80 Pardon me, madam; I have unadvised
Delivered you a paper that I should not.
Pardon me, madam; I have unadvised
Delivered you a paper that I should not.
She gives another letter.
She gives another letter.
This is the letter to your ladyship.
This is the letter to your ladyship.

SYLVIA

I pray thee, let me look on that again.

SYLVIA

I pray thee, let me look on that again.

JULIA

It may not be. Good madam, pardon me.

JULIA

It may not be. Good madam, pardon me.

SYLVIA

85 There, hold!
I will not look upon your master’s lines.
I know they are stuffed with protestations
And full of newfound oaths, which he will break
As easily as I do tear his paper.

SYLVIA

There, hold!
I will not look upon your master’s lines.
I know they are stuffed with protestations
And full of newfound oaths, which he will break
As easily as I do tear his paper.
She tears the letter.
She tears the letter.

JULIA

90 [Offering the ring] Madam, he sends your ladyship this ring.

JULIA

[Offering the ring] Madam, he sends your ladyship this ring.

SYLVIA

The more shame for him that he sends it me,
For I have heard him say a thousand times
His Julia gave it him at his departure.
Though his false finger have profaned the ring,
95 Mine shall not do his Julia so much wrong.

SYLVIA

The more shame for him that he sends it me,
For I have heard him say a thousand times
His Julia gave it him at his departure.
Though his false finger have profaned the ring,
Mine shall not do his Julia so much wrong.

JULIA

She thanks you.

JULIA

She thanks you.

SYLVIA

What sayst thou?

SYLVIA

What sayst thou?

JULIA

I thank you, madam, that you tender her.
Poor gentlewoman! My master wrongs her much.

JULIA

I thank you, madam, that you tender her.
Poor gentlewoman! My master wrongs her much.

SYLVIA

100 Dost thou know her?

SYLVIA

Dost thou know her?

JULIA

Almost as well as I do know myself.
To think upon her woes I do protest
That I have wept a hundred several times.

JULIA

Almost as well as I do know myself.
To think upon her woes I do protest
That I have wept a hundred several times.

SYLVIA

Belike she thinks that Proteus hath forsook her.

SYLVIA

Belike she thinks that Proteus hath forsook her.

JULIA

105 I think she doth, and that’s her cause of sorrow.

JULIA

I think she doth, and that’s her cause of sorrow.

SYLVIA

Is she not passing fair?

SYLVIA

Is she not passing fair?

JULIA

She hath been fairer, madam, than she is.
When she did think my master loved her well,
She, in my judgment, was as fair as you;
110 But since she did neglect her looking-glass
And threw her sun-expelling mask away,
The air hath starved the roses in her cheeks
And pinched the lily tincture of her face,
That now she is become as black as I.

JULIA

She hath been fairer, madam, than she is.
When she did think my master loved her well,
She, in my judgment, was as fair as you;
But since she did neglect her looking-glass
And threw her sun-expelling mask away,
The air hath starved the roses in her cheeks
And pinched the lily tincture of her face,
That now she is become as black as I.

SYLVIA

115 How tall was she?

SYLVIA

How tall was she?

JULIA

About my stature; for at Pentecost,
When all our pageants of delight were played,
Our youth got me to play the woman’s part,
And I was trimmed in Madam Julia’s gown,
120 Which servèd me as fit, by all men’s judgments,
As if the garment had been made for me:
Therefore I know she is about my height.
And at that time I made her weep agood,
For I did play a lamentable part:
125 Madam, ’twas Ariadne passioning
For Theseus’ perjury and unjust flight;
Which I so lively acted with my tears
That my poor mistress, movèd therewithal,
Wept bitterly; and would I might be dead
130 If I in thought felt not her very sorrow!

JULIA

About my stature; for at Pentecost,
When all our pageants of delight were played,
Our youth got me to play the woman’s part,
And I was trimmed in Madam Julia’s gown,
Which servèd me as fit, by all men’s judgments,
As if the garment had been made for me:
Therefore I know she is about my height.
And at that time I made her weep agood,
For I did play a lamentable part:
Madam, ’twas Ariadne passioning
For Theseus’ perjury and unjust flight;
Which I so lively acted with my tears
That my poor mistress, movèd therewithal,
Wept bitterly; and would I might be dead
If I in thought felt not her very sorrow!

SYLVIA

She is beholding to thee, gentle youth.
Alas, poor lady, desolate and left!
I weep myself, to think upon thy words.
Here, youth, there is my purse.

SYLVIA

She is beholding to thee, gentle youth.
Alas, poor lady, desolate and left!
I weep myself, to think upon thy words.
Here, youth, there is my purse.
She gives money.
She gives money.
135 I give thee this
For thy sweet mistress’ sake, because thou lov’st her.
Farewell.
I give thee this
For thy sweet mistress’ sake, because thou lov’st her.
Farewell.
Exit SYLVIA , with attendants
Exit SYLVIA , with attendants

JULIA

And she shall thank you for ’t, if e’er you know her.—
A virtuous gentlewoman, mild and beautiful!
140 I hope my master’s suit will be but cold,
Since she respects my mistress’ love so much.
Alas, how love can trifle with itself!
Here is her picture.

JULIA

And she shall thank you for ’t, if e’er you know her.—
A virtuous gentlewoman, mild and beautiful!
I hope my master’s suit will be but cold,
Since she respects my mistress’ love so much.
Alas, how love can trifle with itself!
Here is her picture.
She looks at the picture.
She looks at the picture.
Let me see, I think
145 If I had such a tire, this face of mine
Were full as lovely as is this of hers;
And yet the painter flattered her a little,
Unless I flatter with myself too much.
Her hair is auburn, mine is perfect yellow;
150 If that be all the difference in his love,
I’ll get me such a colored periwig.
Her eyes are grey as glass, and so are mine.
Ay, but her forehead’s low, and mine’s as high.
What should it be that he respects in her
155 But I can make respective in myself,
If this fond Love were not a blinded god?
Come, shadow, come, and take this shadow up,
For ’tis thy rival.
Let me see, I think
If I had such a tire, this face of mine
Were full as lovely as is this of hers;
And yet the painter flattered her a little,
Unless I flatter with myself too much.
Her hair is auburn, mine is perfect yellow;
If that be all the difference in his love,
I’ll get me such a colored periwig.
Her eyes are grey as glass, and so are mine.
Ay, but her forehead’s low, and mine’s as high.
What should it be that he respects in her
But I can make respective in myself,
If this fond Love were not a blinded god?
Come, shadow, come, and take this shadow up,
For ’tis thy rival.
She picks up the picture.
She picks up the picture.
O thou senseless form,
160 Thou shalt be worshiped, kissed, loved, and adored!
And, were there sense in his idolatry,
My substance should be statue in thy stead.
I’ll use thee kindly for thy mistress’ sake,
That used me so; or else, by Jove I vow,
165 I should have scratched out your unseeing eyes
To make my master out of love with thee!
O thou senseless form,
Thou shalt be worshiped, kissed, loved, and adored!
And, were there sense in his idolatry,
My substance should be statue in thy stead.
I’ll use thee kindly for thy mistress’ sake,
That used me so; or else, by Jove I vow,
I should have scratched out your unseeing eyes
To make my master out of love with thee!
Exit
Exit

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