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Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, As Told in a Series of Texts

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Wizards can teleport, brew lucky potions, and shoot fire out of their wands, yet their primary method of communication is still “just tie a letter to an owl and hope for the best.” I know they also make frequent use of fireplaces, two-way mirrors, and Patronus Charms, but those things pale in comparison to the simple, utter joy of texting someone the poop emoji for no reason other than you can.

This is why I decided to see what texting would look like in Harry Potter canon. And if you’re looking for Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, or Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban as told in a series of texts, you’re in luck. We kept those.