Chapters 13–15

Summary: Chapter 13

Stella waits with her parents before being taken in to surgery. While alone in the pre-op room, Stella thinks about how being so devoted to her regimen was all for nothing, as she could die from the surgery anyway. Someone dressed in scrubs comes into the room; Stella first thinks the person is a nurse but then realizes it is Will. Will tells her he figured out this is Stella’s first surgery without Abby and starts singing the song that Abby used to sing to Stella. Stella begins to cry and realizes she has fallen in love with Will. Will leaves before Dr. Hamid comes in, but Stella now feels confident that she will make it through the surgery.

Summary: Chapter 14

In the waiting room, Will sees Stella’s parents arguing with each other. Barb interrupts them, scolding them for not being able to put their feelings aside and be present for their daughter. Will suddenly understands why Stella has been so careful about her regimen, as she wants to avoid upsetting her parents further. He realizes that he should be taking better care of himself instead of relying on Stella. Barb catches sight of Will and realizes he was in the pre-op room with Stella. Barb reprimands Will and tells him about two cystic fibrosis patients who were under her care when she was starting out as a nurse. Because they were in love, Barb allowed them to break the rules about staying six feet apart, and they both died. Barb swears she will not let that happen to Will and Stella. Will suddenly understands the seriousness of the situation and realizes he cannot be responsible for hurting Stella.

Summary: Chapter 15

Stella wakes up after the surgery and, after being returned to her room, finds a drawing from Will. She calls Will and leaves a voicemail before falling asleep. Stella talks to Poe over FaceTime and tells him she received a message from his ex-boyfriend, Michael, asking about how Poe is doing. Stella thinks about how Poe is afraid of putting his problems on someone else, a fear she shares but no longer wants to let control her life. Stella’s parents come to see how she is doing, and she is surprised to see them together. They apologize for how hard they have made things for Stella since Abby’s death.

That night, Stella texts Will to meet her in the hospital’s atrium. She waits for him, but Poe shows up instead of Will. Poe tells Stella that Will has said they cannot keep seeing each other. Stella is upset, and Poe tells her how Barb made Will realize he is a danger to Stella. Stella, tired of avoiding risks she can never completely outrun, goes to Will’s room and pounds on the door. Will refuses to see her, and Poe suggests that Stella only likes Will because he is a rebel, like Abby. Stella turns on Poe, accusing him of running away from every chance of love whenever it has come his way. Stella goes a few days without talking to Poe or Will, until Poe delivers a note admitting Stella was right. Stella and Poe meet in the lounge, and Poe tells her that he does not want to put the burden of his illness onto someone else only for him to die eventually.

Analysis: Chapters 13–15

While on the operating table and facing the possibility of dying, Stella finally understands Will’s point of view about surviving versus living. She has lived her life so carefully, but even so, there are some things outside her control, which have now landed her in a potentially fatal surgery. After she comes through the surgery, this attitude remains, as Stella encourages Poe to not let fear run his life and tries to spend time with Will despite the risks. The surgery seems to have been a turning point for Stella, marking when she decided to start living instead of merely surviving.

The power of guilt is evident in these chapters. While Stella is the character most driven by her sense of guilt, Barb and Poe reveal how guilt runs their lives as well. Barb feels responsible for allowing two former patients with cystic fibrosis to break the rules and vows to do everything in her power to prevent similar future deaths from happening under her care. Meanwhile, Poe reveals why he keeps ending relationships even when he is in love. In addition to the fear shared by Stella—the fear about not wanting someone he loves to see him die—he feels he can’t put the responsibility of his illness on anyone else, especially since once he turns eighteen, he will have no form of financial support. This situation shows that guilt, over both actions from the past and fears from the future, is a driving factor for both Stella and Poe. However, some feelings of guilt are rational while others are not. While Barb’s guilt is a result of learning from her mistakes and hoping to do better, Poe’s guilt stems from a situation he cannot control, and his guilt is only hurting himself and the people who love him.

Before going into surgery, Stella realizes that she is in love with Will, emphasizing the inevitability of love. Although Stella did not want to fall in love with him, both because of her annoyance at his personality and because it would be dangerous to her health, she found the emotion could not be avoided. When Will stands in for Abby and comforts Stella before her surgery, Stella no longer feels afraid, a moment that reveals the power of love and human connection. When Will tries to end things with Stella due to the risks he poses, Stella becomes upset and tries to be with him, a complete contradiction to how she felt at the beginning of the novel when she took every possible precaution. Not only has she fallen in love with Will against her better judgment, but she is willing to put her own health in jeopardy to be with him.

In these chapters, Barb again is shown as a parental figure to Stella. Barb chastises Stella’s parents for not putting aside their own issues to be there for their daughter and proves her determination to protect Stella from Will at all costs. Barb’s actions lead to Stella’s parents presenting a united front and to Will understanding that he cannot be the one to hurt Stella. By acting as Stella’s parental figure, Barb helps to lift some of the burden Stella has placed on herself.