Summary: Chapter 13
Rayona gave me something to be, made
me like other women with children. I was nobody’s regular daughter, nobody’s
sister, usually nobody’s wife, but I was her mother full time.
See Important Quotations Explained
Christine and Rayona leave the reservation, and Christine
takes her time driving home. They get back to Seattle on a Saturday
night and Christine wants to go out but cannot find a babysitter.
Undeterred, Christine takes Rayona along with her to the Silver
Bullet, her usual bar. There, Christine sees Elgin with his arm
around a fat woman. Christine catches Elgin’s eye, and he comes
over to talk. They end up going home together, and Elgin stays for
two weeks.
Elgin continues to disappear and reappear in Christine’s
life, and she takes him back every time. She has other boyfriends,
along with friends and jobs, but the only constant in her life is
Rayona. Rayona is a very independent child and does things for herself
whenever she can.
One day Aunt Ida calls to let Christine know that she
is in town and will be staying over. Ida’s aunt, Clara, is sick
and staying at Indian Health Services. Rayona does not remember
Ida so Christine tries to describe her. When Ida arrives, Rayona
acts shy for the first time in her life. Ida makes a point of commenting
on Christine’s conspicuous lack of a husband but is kind to Rayona
and even brings a doll for her. That Saturday Ida makes Christine
and Rayona accompany her on the bus to Indian Health Services. When
they arrive, Ida introduces Christine and Rayona—but especially
Rayona—to all the elderly Indians who are waiting around. Clara
is glad to see her family, especially Christine, but before long
Ida decides it is time for them to leave. Though Christine promises
Clara she will come back to the hospital for a longer visit, Clara
dies before Christine gets a chance. Ida decides she wants to go
back to the reservation, but Christine persuades her to stay for
dinner. Ida insists on making most of the dinner herself. When Rayona
calls Ida “Grandma,” Ida corrects her and tells her to call her
“Aunt Ida.” Rayona is offended and leaves the kitchen.
Elgin shows up the next day, and promises to be there
whenever Christine needs him. In raising Rayona, Christine tries
to do a better job than Ida did with her, and for the most part
she feels she accomplishes this goal. She gets very angry when Elgin
disappoints Rayona by not being around. She loves Rayona but knows
she will never have another child. She cannot have Rayona end up
the way she did, forgotten because of Lee. She never feels the same
as she had that day at Point Defiance, not with Elgin or anyone
else.
Analysis: Chapter 13
As Christine realizes that being a wife and mother is
not enough to solve her problems, she reverts to her old habits
and begins to lose control of her life. She does not want anyone
other than Elgin but cannot live with him for more than a few weeks
at a time. This realization makes her steely and jaded, so she does
“what it t[akes] to get by” by going out and meeting new boyfriends.
She returns to the more volatile lifestyle she embraces when she
first goes to Seattle. Even Rayona, who had anchored Christine to
a stable life, becomes an accessory, a friend Christine can bring
along to bars. Christine says that, in retrospect, at this point
in her life she knew she was headed in the wrong direction but was
too far out of control to see a solution. Indeed, we see her live
such a fast-paced life that perspective is difficult for her to
gain. The stability she experiences during her pregnancy is gone,
as is anything resembling a committed marital relationship with
Elgin, and her current instability is even worse than her experiences
during her first few months in Seattle. Christine no longer seems
to be searching for an identity, and views each new episode in her
life as something to tide her over until her next encounter with
Elgin.
Christine initially remembers very little about Clara,
whom Ida has mentioned before, but never by name. When Christine
and Rayona accompany Ida on her visit to the IHS, there is clearly
some underlying tension between Ida and Clara, but Christine is
unable to get at the root of the conflict. Clara is very glad to
see Christine, but Ida cuts their interview short. We get the definite
impression that Ida is somehow trying to keep Christine and Clara
apart, and this moment foreshadows important revelations in Ida’s
narrative.
Christine’s determination to do a better job raising
Rayona than her own mother did raising her gives us a new perspective
on what was missing in Christine’s childhood, but Christine is careful
not to overstep her bounds and try to live an idealized life through
Rayona. The fact that Christine is sure to note that she “answered
Rayona’s questions” shows how much the secrecy pervading her own upbringing
had bothered her. Christine does not want Rayona to feel forgotten
the way she herself did. Christine’s desire to shape a different
life for Rayona, however, does not mean that she intends to live
vicariously through her. Christine even notes that she does not expect
to relive her life through Rayona, not because she does not want
to but because she does not think she can. While this remark is in
some ways a sign that Christine is defeated, as if she feels too
set in her ways to correct her mistakes, it is also an important
acknowledgement on Christine’s part that Rayona is a separate and
unique person. In trying to be a better mother than Ida, Christine
hopes to help Rayona avoid derailing her own life.
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