Summary: Chapter 5
This scrap of paper in my hand makes
me feel poor in a way like I just heard of rich. Jealous. What kind
of a person would throw it away?
See Important Quotations Explained
Rayona wakes the next morning and crosses the road to
the entrance of Bearpaw Lake State Park. She finds a sign that instructs lost
hikers to stay put. She does so, and a short time later encounters a
man whom she recognizes from the gas station the day before. The man
introduces himself as Sky, and Rayona follows him into the park
office. He makes Rayona a cup of coffee and tells her a joke about
a priest, a rabbi, and a Hindu. Rayona tells Sky that she is from
Seattle, that her parents are on vacation, that her father is a pilot,
and that she ran away from the priest Sky had seen her with because
she didn’t want to be converted. Although Rayona fabricates nearly
the entire story, one element is true: that she has an uncle, Lee,
who died in Vietnam.
Sky calls his wife, Evelyn, who works as a cook in the
park, to see if she can get Rayona a job. Evelyn makes Rayona breakfast
and sends her to see Mr. McCutcheon, the man in charge of park maintenance.
Mr. McCutcheon sets Rayona up spearing trash and gives her a uniform,
noting how tall and skinny Rayona is as he picks out a uniform for
her. Rayona goes to the ladies’ room to put on her uniform, but
there is no mirror, so she goes to the men’s room to check her hair.
As she is leaving, Andy, Dave, and John, three college students,
come into the men’s room. They are also grounds workers and are
envious that Rayona has been assigned to work in Zone Seven because
an attractive young lifeguard works there. Rayona thinks bitterly
to herself that Andy, Dave, and John treat her like one of the guys
but then notes that being pretty never helped her mother very much.
There is not much trash to pick up in Zone Seven, and
most of what Rayona finds has probably been there for some time.
As she is about to leave, she happens upon half of a crumpled letter.
The letter, addressed to some unknown camper, is from “Mother &
Pops,” and declares how much the parents love and miss the letter’s addressee.
Rayona is jealous and is going to put the letter in the trash but
finds that she cannot. Instead, she deposits it in her wallet. The letter
lingers in her mind and makes her miss the rains of Seattle.
Analysis: Chapter 5
At the beginning of this chapter, Rayona has a blank slate
upon which she can construct her fantasy life, and it is interesting
to note which parts of her life she chooses to keep and which parts
she continues to reinvent. When Rayona meets Sky, she has the opportunity to
tell him anything she wants, but even as she makes up her life story,
Rayona preserves several facts from her real life. One of these points
of reality is Rayona’s uncle, Lee. Lee died in Vietnam, and part
of the reason that Rayona includes him in her narrative is because
mentioning Lee helps her relate to Sky, who had dodged the draft.
Rayona also chooses to keep Lee as a part of her fantasy life because
he is non-threatening and never rejected her. Rayona’s vague memory
of Lee’s funeral may be another reason why she does not turn her
back on this part of her old life. Lee’s funeral is Rayona’s earliest
conscious memory, and as such represents a beginning for Rayona.
Because Lee’s funeral marks the beginning of Rayona’s conscious
life, it is not, in her mind, as corrupted as the rest of her past,
and she therefore feels it is a safe memory to hold on to. She continues,
however, to deny that she has run away and to assert that her father
is a pilot. Instead of saying Christine is dead, however, this time
Rayona softens her view and claims that her parents are on vacation.
After her conversation with Sky, Rayona begins the first
day of her new life. As she gets a job and meets a number of new
people, she begins to change not just her past, but also her future.
Importantly, however, Rayona learns that there are some aspects
of herself that she does not have the power to rewrite. Mr. McCutcheon
comments abundantly on Rayona’s sex, color, height, and weight,
even though he is one of the first people ever to be impressed by
these attributes. Instead of rejection, Mr. McCutcheon is proud
of the fact that Rayona will break new ground for the custodial
department at Bearpaw Lake by being the department’s first woman
and first minority worker. Rayona is less pleased with the reception
she receives from her fellow groundskeepers. She realizes the college
boys do not really even think of her as a girl and that her unattractiveness
will always limit her to being one of the boys.
The letter Rayona discovers in the dirt presents a picture
of ideal family life and becomes another part of Rayona’s escapist
fantasy. Reading the letter, Rayona imagines herself as its addressee. Although
Rayona keeps Christine as her mother in this fantasy, she imagines
Christine acting in an overtly affectionate way, something completely
out of character for the real Christine. Nevertheless, the letter
makes Rayona miss her mother, whom she imagines as the rains of
Seattle. In earlier chapters, Rayona often describes her mother’s
speech as rain or water. Now, as she thinks of Christine as part
of the ideal family, Rayona longs for the rains of her former hometown.
