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Enter ANNE BULLEN and an OLD LADY.
Enter ANNE BULLEN and an OLD LADY.
ANNE
Not for that neither. Here’s the pang that pinches:
His Highness having lived so long with her, and she
So good a lady that no tongue could ever
Pronounce dishonor of her—by my life,
5
She never knew harm-doing!—O, now, after
So many courses of the sun enthroned,
Still growing in a majesty and pomp, the which
To leave a thousandfold more bitter than
’Tis sweet at first t’ acquire—after this process,
10
To give her the avaunt! It is a pity
Would move a monster.
ANNE
Not for that neither. Here’s the pang that pinches:
His Highness having lived so long with her, and she
So good a lady that no tongue could ever
Pronounce dishonor of her—by my life,
She never knew harm-doing!—O, now, after
So many courses of the sun enthroned,
Still growing in a majesty and pomp, the which
To leave a thousandfold more bitter than
’Tis sweet at first t’ acquire—after this process,
To give her the avaunt! It is a pity
Would move a monster.
OLD LADY  
Hearts of most hard temper
Melt and lament for her.
OLD LADY  
Hearts of most hard temper
Melt and lament for her.
ANNE  
O, God’s will! Much better
15
She ne’er had known pomp; though ’t be temporal,
Yet if that quarrel, Fortune, do divorce
It from the bearer, ’tis a sufferance panging
As soul and body’s severing.
ANNE  
O, God’s will! Much better
She ne’er had known pomp; though ’t be temporal,
Yet if that quarrel, Fortune, do divorce
It from the bearer, ’tis a sufferance panging
As soul and body’s severing.
OLD LADY  
Alas, poor lady,
20
She’s a stranger now again!
OLD LADY  
Alas, poor lady,
She’s a stranger now again!
ANNE  
So much the more
Must pity drop upon her. Verily,
I swear, ’tis better to be lowly born
And range with humble livers in content
25
Than to be perked up in a glist’ring grief
And wear a golden sorrow.
ANNE  
So much the more
Must pity drop upon her. Verily,
I swear, ’tis better to be lowly born
And range with humble livers in content
Than to be perked up in a glist’ring grief
And wear a golden sorrow.
OLD LADY  
Our content
Is our best having.
OLD LADY  
Our content
Is our best having.
ANNE  
By my troth and maidenhead,
30
I would not be a queen.
ANNE  
By my troth and maidenhead,
I would not be a queen.
OLD LADY  
Beshrew me, I would,
And venture maidenhead for ’t; and so would you,
For all this spice of your hypocrisy.
You, that have so fair parts of woman on you,
35
Have too a woman’s heart, which ever yet
Affected eminence, wealth, sovereignty;
Which, to say sooth, are blessings; and which gifts,
Saving your mincing, the capacity
Of your soft cheveril conscience would receive
40
If you might please to stretch it.
OLD LADY  
Beshrew me, I would,
And venture maidenhead for ’t; and so would you,
For all this spice of your hypocrisy.
You, that have so fair parts of woman on you,
Have too a woman’s heart, which ever yet
Affected eminence, wealth, sovereignty;
Which, to say sooth, are blessings; and which gifts,
Saving your mincing, the capacity
Of your soft cheveril conscience would receive
If you might please to stretch it.
ANNE  
Nay, good troth.
ANNE  
Nay, good troth.
OLD LADY
Yes, troth, and troth. You would not be a queen?
OLD LADY
Yes, troth, and troth. You would not be a queen?
ANNE
No, not for all the riches under heaven.
ANNE
No, not for all the riches under heaven.
OLD LADY
’Tis strange. A threepence bowed would hire me,
45
Old as I am, to queen it. But I pray you,
What think you of a duchess? Have you limbs
To bear that load of title?
OLD LADY
’Tis strange. A threepence bowed would hire me,
Old as I am, to queen it. But I pray you,
What think you of a duchess? Have you limbs
To bear that load of title?
ANNE  
No, in truth.
ANNE  
No, in truth.
OLD LADY
Then you are weakly made. Pluck off a little.
50
I would not be a young count in your way
For more than blushing comes to. If your back
Cannot vouchsafe this burden, ’tis too weak
Ever to get a boy.
OLD LADY
Then you are weakly made. Pluck off a little.
I would not be a young count in your way
For more than blushing comes to. If your back
Cannot vouchsafe this burden, ’tis too weak
Ever to get a boy.
ANNE  
How you do talk!
55
I swear again, I would not be a queen
For all the world.
ANNE  
How you do talk!
I swear again, I would not be a queen
For all the world.
OLD LADY  
In faith, for little England
You’d venture an emballing. I myself
Would for Carnarvanshire, although there longed
60
No more to th’ crown but that. Lo, who comes here?
OLD LADY  
In faith, for little England
You’d venture an emballing. I myself
Would for Carnarvanshire, although there longed
No more to th’ crown but that. Lo, who comes here?
Enter LORD CHAMBERLAIN .
Enter LORD CHAMBERLAIN .
CHAMBERLAIN
Good morrow, ladies. What were ’t worth to know
The secret of your conference?
CHAMBERLAIN
Good morrow, ladies. What were ’t worth to know
The secret of your conference?
ANNE  
My good lord,
Not your demand; it values not your asking.
65
Our mistress’ sorrows we were pitying.
ANNE  
My good lord,
Not your demand; it values not your asking.
Our mistress’ sorrows we were pitying.
CHAMBERLAIN
It was a gentle business, and becoming
The action of good women. There is hope
All will be well.
CHAMBERLAIN
It was a gentle business, and becoming
The action of good women. There is hope
All will be well.
ANNE  
Now, I pray God, amen!
ANNE  
Now, I pray God, amen!
CHAMBERLAIN
70
You bear a gentle mind, and heav’nly blessings
Follow such creatures. That you may, fair lady,
Perceive I speak sincerely, and high note’s
Ta’en of your many virtues, the King’s Majesty
Commends his good opinion of you to you, and
75
Does purpose honor to you no less flowing
Than Marchioness of Pembroke, to which title
A thousand pound a year annual support
Out of his grace he adds.
CHAMBERLAIN
You bear a gentle mind, and heav’nly blessings
Follow such creatures. That you may, fair lady,
Perceive I speak sincerely, and high note’s
Ta’en of your many virtues, the King’s Majesty
Commends his good opinion of you to you, and
Does purpose honor to you no less flowing
Than Marchioness of Pembroke, to which title
A thousand pound a year annual support
Out of his grace he adds.
ANNE 
I do not know
80
What kind of my obedience I should tender.
More than my all is nothing, nor my prayers
Are not words duly hallowed, nor my wishes
More worth than empty vanities. Yet prayers and
wishes
85
Are all I can return. ’Beseech your Lordship,
Vouchsafe to speak my thanks and my obedience,
As from a blushing handmaid, to his Highness,
Whose health and royalty I pray for.
ANNE 
I do not know
What kind of my obedience I should tender.
More than my all is nothing, nor my prayers
Are not words duly hallowed, nor my wishes
More worth than empty vanities. Yet prayers and
wishes
Are all I can return. ’Beseech your Lordship,
Vouchsafe to speak my thanks and my obedience,
As from a blushing handmaid, to his Highness,
Whose health and royalty I pray for.
CHAMBERLAIN  
Lady,
90
I shall not fail t’ approve the fair conceit
The King hath of you. (Aside.) I have perused her
well.
Beauty and honor in her are so mingled
That they have caught the King. And who knows yet
95
But from this lady may proceed a gem
To lighten all this isle?—I’ll to the King
And say I spoke with you.
CHAMBERLAIN  
Lady,
I shall not fail t’ approve the fair conceit
The King hath of you. (Aside.) I have perused her
well.
Beauty and honor in her are so mingled
That they have caught the King. And who knows yet
But from this lady may proceed a gem
To lighten all this isle?—I’ll to the King
And say I spoke with you.
ANNE  
My honored lord.
ANNE  
My honored lord.
LORD CHAMBERLAIN exits.
LORD CHAMBERLAIN exits.
OLD LADY  
Why, this it is! See, see!
100
I have been begging sixteen years in court,
Am yet a courtier beggarly, nor could
Come pat betwixt too early and too late
For any suit of pounds; and you—O, fate!—
A very fresh fish here—fie, fie, fie upon
105
This compelled fortune!—have your mouth filled up
Before you open it.
OLD LADY  
Why, this it is! See, see!
I have been begging sixteen years in court,
Am yet a courtier beggarly, nor could
Come pat betwixt too early and too late
For any suit of pounds; and you—O, fate!—
A very fresh fish here—fie, fie, fie upon
This compelled fortune!—have your mouth filled up
Before you open it.
ANNE  
This is strange to me.
ANNE  
This is strange to me.
OLD LADY
How tastes it? Is it bitter? Forty pence, no.
There was a lady once—’tis an old story—
110
That would not be a queen, that would she not,
For all the mud in Egypt. Have you heard it?
OLD LADY
How tastes it? Is it bitter? Forty pence, no.
There was a lady once—’tis an old story—
That would not be a queen, that would she not,
For all the mud in Egypt. Have you heard it?
ANNE
Come, you are pleasant.
ANNE
Come, you are pleasant.
OLD LADY  
With your theme, I could
O’ermount the lark. The Marchioness of Pembroke?
115
A thousand pounds a year for pure respect?
No other obligation? By my life,
That promises more thousands; honor’s train
Is longer than his foreskirt. By this time
I know your back will bear a duchess. Say,
120
Are you not stronger than you were?
OLD LADY  
With your theme, I could
O’ermount the lark. The Marchioness of Pembroke?
A thousand pounds a year for pure respect?
No other obligation? By my life,
That promises more thousands; honor’s train
Is longer than his foreskirt. By this time
I know your back will bear a duchess. Say,
Are you not stronger than you were?
ANNE  
Good lady,
Make yourself mirth with your particular fancy,
And leave me out on ’t. Would I had no being
If this salute my blood a jot. It faints me
125
To think what follows.
The Queen is comfortless and we forgetful
In our long absence. Pray do not deliver
What here you’ve heard to her.
ANNE  
Good lady,
Make yourself mirth with your particular fancy,
And leave me out on ’t. Would I had no being
If this salute my blood a jot. It faints me
To think what follows.
The Queen is comfortless and we forgetful
In our long absence. Pray do not deliver
What here you’ve heard to her.
OLD LADY  
What do you think me?
OLD LADY  
What do you think me?
They exit.
They exit.

Original Text

Modern Text
Enter ANNE BULLEN and an OLD LADY.
Enter ANNE BULLEN and an OLD LADY.
ANNE
Not for that neither. Here’s the pang that pinches:
His Highness having lived so long with her, and she
So good a lady that no tongue could ever
Pronounce dishonor of her—by my life,
5
She never knew harm-doing!—O, now, after
So many courses of the sun enthroned,
Still growing in a majesty and pomp, the which
To leave a thousandfold more bitter than
’Tis sweet at first t’ acquire—after this process,
10
To give her the avaunt! It is a pity
Would move a monster.
ANNE
Not for that neither. Here’s the pang that pinches:
His Highness having lived so long with her, and she
So good a lady that no tongue could ever
Pronounce dishonor of her—by my life,
She never knew harm-doing!—O, now, after
So many courses of the sun enthroned,
Still growing in a majesty and pomp, the which
To leave a thousandfold more bitter than
’Tis sweet at first t’ acquire—after this process,
To give her the avaunt! It is a pity
Would move a monster.
OLD LADY  
Hearts of most hard temper
Melt and lament for her.
OLD LADY  
Hearts of most hard temper
Melt and lament for her.
ANNE  
O, God’s will! Much better
15
She ne’er had known pomp; though ’t be temporal,
Yet if that quarrel, Fortune, do divorce
It from the bearer, ’tis a sufferance panging
As soul and body’s severing.
ANNE  
O, God’s will! Much better
She ne’er had known pomp; though ’t be temporal,
Yet if that quarrel, Fortune, do divorce
It from the bearer, ’tis a sufferance panging
As soul and body’s severing.
OLD LADY  
Alas, poor lady,
20
She’s a stranger now again!
OLD LADY  
Alas, poor lady,
She’s a stranger now again!
ANNE  
So much the more
Must pity drop upon her. Verily,
I swear, ’tis better to be lowly born
And range with humble livers in content
25
Than to be perked up in a glist’ring grief
And wear a golden sorrow.
ANNE  
So much the more
Must pity drop upon her. Verily,
I swear, ’tis better to be lowly born
And range with humble livers in content
Than to be perked up in a glist’ring grief
And wear a golden sorrow.
OLD LADY  
Our content
Is our best having.
OLD LADY  
Our content
Is our best having.
ANNE  
By my troth and maidenhead,
30
I would not be a queen.
ANNE  
By my troth and maidenhead,
I would not be a queen.
OLD LADY  
Beshrew me, I would,
And venture maidenhead for ’t; and so would you,
For all this spice of your hypocrisy.
You, that have so fair parts of woman on you,
35
Have too a woman’s heart, which ever yet
Affected eminence, wealth, sovereignty;
Which, to say sooth, are blessings; and which gifts,
Saving your mincing, the capacity
Of your soft cheveril conscience would receive
40
If you might please to stretch it.
OLD LADY  
Beshrew me, I would,
And venture maidenhead for ’t; and so would you,
For all this spice of your hypocrisy.
You, that have so fair parts of woman on you,
Have too a woman’s heart, which ever yet
Affected eminence, wealth, sovereignty;
Which, to say sooth, are blessings; and which gifts,
Saving your mincing, the capacity
Of your soft cheveril conscience would receive
If you might please to stretch it.
ANNE  
Nay, good troth.
ANNE  
Nay, good troth.
OLD LADY
Yes, troth, and troth. You would not be a queen?
OLD LADY
Yes, troth, and troth. You would not be a queen?
ANNE
No, not for all the riches under heaven.
ANNE
No, not for all the riches under heaven.
OLD LADY
’Tis strange. A threepence bowed would hire me,
45
Old as I am, to queen it. But I pray you,
What think you of a duchess? Have you limbs
To bear that load of title?
OLD LADY
’Tis strange. A threepence bowed would hire me,
Old as I am, to queen it. But I pray you,
What think you of a duchess? Have you limbs
To bear that load of title?
ANNE  
No, in truth.
ANNE  
No, in truth.
OLD LADY
Then you are weakly made. Pluck off a little.
50
I would not be a young count in your way
For more than blushing comes to. If your back
Cannot vouchsafe this burden, ’tis too weak
Ever to get a boy.
OLD LADY
Then you are weakly made. Pluck off a little.
I would not be a young count in your way
For more than blushing comes to. If your back
Cannot vouchsafe this burden, ’tis too weak
Ever to get a boy.
ANNE  
How you do talk!
55
I swear again, I would not be a queen
For all the world.
ANNE  
How you do talk!
I swear again, I would not be a queen
For all the world.
OLD LADY  
In faith, for little England
You’d venture an emballing. I myself
Would for Carnarvanshire, although there longed
60
No more to th’ crown but that. Lo, who comes here?
OLD LADY  
In faith, for little England
You’d venture an emballing. I myself
Would for Carnarvanshire, although there longed
No more to th’ crown but that. Lo, who comes here?
Enter LORD CHAMBERLAIN .
Enter LORD CHAMBERLAIN .
CHAMBERLAIN
Good morrow, ladies. What were ’t worth to know
The secret of your conference?
CHAMBERLAIN
Good morrow, ladies. What were ’t worth to know
The secret of your conference?
ANNE  
My good lord,
Not your demand; it values not your asking.
65
Our mistress’ sorrows we were pitying.
ANNE  
My good lord,
Not your demand; it values not your asking.
Our mistress’ sorrows we were pitying.
CHAMBERLAIN
It was a gentle business, and becoming
The action of good women. There is hope
All will be well.
CHAMBERLAIN
It was a gentle business, and becoming
The action of good women. There is hope
All will be well.
ANNE  
Now, I pray God, amen!
ANNE  
Now, I pray God, amen!
CHAMBERLAIN
70
You bear a gentle mind, and heav’nly blessings
Follow such creatures. That you may, fair lady,
Perceive I speak sincerely, and high note’s
Ta’en of your many virtues, the King’s Majesty
Commends his good opinion of you to you, and
75
Does purpose honor to you no less flowing
Than Marchioness of Pembroke, to which title
A thousand pound a year annual support
Out of his grace he adds.
CHAMBERLAIN
You bear a gentle mind, and heav’nly blessings
Follow such creatures. That you may, fair lady,
Perceive I speak sincerely, and high note’s
Ta’en of your many virtues, the King’s Majesty
Commends his good opinion of you to you, and
Does purpose honor to you no less flowing
Than Marchioness of Pembroke, to which title
A thousand pound a year annual support
Out of his grace he adds.
ANNE 
I do not know
80
What kind of my obedience I should tender.
More than my all is nothing, nor my prayers
Are not words duly hallowed, nor my wishes
More worth than empty vanities. Yet prayers and
wishes
85
Are all I can return. ’Beseech your Lordship,
Vouchsafe to speak my thanks and my obedience,
As from a blushing handmaid, to his Highness,
Whose health and royalty I pray for.
ANNE 
I do not know
What kind of my obedience I should tender.
More than my all is nothing, nor my prayers
Are not words duly hallowed, nor my wishes
More worth than empty vanities. Yet prayers and
wishes
Are all I can return. ’Beseech your Lordship,
Vouchsafe to speak my thanks and my obedience,
As from a blushing handmaid, to his Highness,
Whose health and royalty I pray for.
CHAMBERLAIN  
Lady,
90
I shall not fail t’ approve the fair conceit
The King hath of you. (Aside.) I have perused her
well.
Beauty and honor in her are so mingled
That they have caught the King. And who knows yet
95
But from this lady may proceed a gem
To lighten all this isle?—I’ll to the King
And say I spoke with you.
CHAMBERLAIN  
Lady,
I shall not fail t’ approve the fair conceit
The King hath of you. (Aside.) I have perused her
well.
Beauty and honor in her are so mingled
That they have caught the King. And who knows yet
But from this lady may proceed a gem
To lighten all this isle?—I’ll to the King
And say I spoke with you.
ANNE  
My honored lord.
ANNE  
My honored lord.
LORD CHAMBERLAIN exits.
LORD CHAMBERLAIN exits.
OLD LADY  
Why, this it is! See, see!
100
I have been begging sixteen years in court,
Am yet a courtier beggarly, nor could
Come pat betwixt too early and too late
For any suit of pounds; and you—O, fate!—
A very fresh fish here—fie, fie, fie upon
105
This compelled fortune!—have your mouth filled up
Before you open it.
OLD LADY  
Why, this it is! See, see!
I have been begging sixteen years in court,
Am yet a courtier beggarly, nor could
Come pat betwixt too early and too late
For any suit of pounds; and you—O, fate!—
A very fresh fish here—fie, fie, fie upon
This compelled fortune!—have your mouth filled up
Before you open it.
ANNE  
This is strange to me.
ANNE  
This is strange to me.
OLD LADY
How tastes it? Is it bitter? Forty pence, no.
There was a lady once—’tis an old story—
110
That would not be a queen, that would she not,
For all the mud in Egypt. Have you heard it?
OLD LADY
How tastes it? Is it bitter? Forty pence, no.
There was a lady once—’tis an old story—
That would not be a queen, that would she not,
For all the mud in Egypt. Have you heard it?
ANNE
Come, you are pleasant.
ANNE
Come, you are pleasant.
OLD LADY  
With your theme, I could
O’ermount the lark. The Marchioness of Pembroke?
115
A thousand pounds a year for pure respect?
No other obligation? By my life,
That promises more thousands; honor’s train
Is longer than his foreskirt. By this time
I know your back will bear a duchess. Say,
120
Are you not stronger than you were?
OLD LADY  
With your theme, I could
O’ermount the lark. The Marchioness of Pembroke?
A thousand pounds a year for pure respect?
No other obligation? By my life,
That promises more thousands; honor’s train
Is longer than his foreskirt. By this time
I know your back will bear a duchess. Say,
Are you not stronger than you were?
ANNE  
Good lady,
Make yourself mirth with your particular fancy,
And leave me out on ’t. Would I had no being
If this salute my blood a jot. It faints me
125
To think what follows.
The Queen is comfortless and we forgetful
In our long absence. Pray do not deliver
What here you’ve heard to her.
ANNE  
Good lady,
Make yourself mirth with your particular fancy,
And leave me out on ’t. Would I had no being
If this salute my blood a jot. It faints me
To think what follows.
The Queen is comfortless and we forgetful
In our long absence. Pray do not deliver
What here you’ve heard to her.
OLD LADY  
What do you think me?
OLD LADY  
What do you think me?
They exit.
They exit.
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