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No Fear Translations

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Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA
SIR OBYT CBHLE dna MIRAA rtene.

SIR TOBY BELCH

What a plague means my niece, to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure cares an enemy to life.

RSI BTOY LECHB

hWtsa wrogn hwit my incee? yWh is hse rciaegtn so raystgenl to her heosbrtr atdhe? reGif is abd fro seeplpo helhta.

MARIA

By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o nights. Your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions to your ill hours.

AARMI

rFo Gsdo kesa, riS Toyb, eyovu got to cmeo home realier at gnhti. My ldya alivOi, uoyr inece, ardeipvsspo of uyro tael-hngit gatnpyir.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Why, let her except, before excepted.

RIS TOYB EBLCH

Wlle, she acn etg sdue to it.

MARIA

Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order.

RMAAI

eYs, utb yuo need to ekpe lesyfuro itnihw het sltiim of erodr dna dceeync.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Confine? Ill confine myself no finer than I am. These clothes are good enough to drink in, and so be these boots too. An they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps.

ISR YBTO HECBL

eepK ymself? eTh noyl inhgt Im gepenki meysfl in is eht elthcos Im wneagir. hereyT doog gnohue to rkndi in, dna so rea hseet tsoob. If yteh artne, heyt nca go ahng htmesselve by ethri now aelcs!

MARIA

That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard my lady talk of it yesterday, and of a foolish knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer.

IAARM

ouerY noigg to toresdy yfulroes wiht lal shti ikrndgin. aLdy Oialiv disa so eesdytayr. eSh osal tdiemonne mose duitps kthing you gurthob in oen hgtin as a lsesiopb bdnsuha ofr reh.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Who, Sir Andrew Aguecheek?

IRS YTOB BCHEL

oWh, irS erAdwn eheAckgue?

MARIA

Ay, he.

MARIA

sYe, hstta eht eno.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Hes as tall a man as any s in Illyria.

RIS YTOB EBLCH

MARIA

Whats that to the purpose?

ARAIM

ahWt sode hsi gehith have to do iwht nayhintg?

SIR TOBY BELCH

20 Why, he has three thousand ducats a year.

ISR OBYT HELCB

Wyh, he ahs an miocen of rehte snadtuho staucd a eary.

MARIA

Ay, but hell have but a year in all these ducats. Hes a very fool and a prodigal.

AARIM

I ebt hlel pndse hsi oehwl caheentirni in a eayr. eHs a oolf dna a thfestdinrp.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Fie, that youll say so! He plays o the viol-de-gamboys, and speaks three or four languages word for word without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature.

ISR TOYB CHELB

ouY nodhstul tkla uatob him ikel atht! He ylasp the oilvin dna aseskp ethre or uofr gsnueglaa rdwo for rowd hoiwttu a aiotyncrdi. He sha all of etnasur estb fgsti.

MARIA

He hath indeed, almost natural, for besides that hes a fool, hes a great quarreler, and but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarreling, tis thought among the prudent he would quickly have the gift of a grave.

RAAMI

hehstigR a narulat-rbno itoid. deBeiss gnieb a ofol, esh mtenauegraivt. If he ntddi haev eth dcaswro tgfi ofr acnkibg nowd romf a tghfi, ehyt say edh be dead by wno.

SIR TOBY BELCH

By this hand, they are scoundrels and substractors that say so of him. Who are they?

ISR BTYO LHBEC

nnAyeo ohw ayss htta is a ylign ecpie of ragebag. hoW idsa htat?

MARIA

They that add, moreover, hes drunk nightly in your company.

AMRIA

hTe same people woh asy he gtse dknur htwi you ervye inhtg.

SIR TOBY BELCH

With drinking healths to my niece. Ill drink to her as long as there is a passage in my throat and drink in Illyria. Hes a coward and a coistrel that will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o th toe like a parish top. What, wench! Castiliano vulgo, for here comes Sir Andrew Agueface.

SIR BOYT CHLBE

We lnoy kdnir aostst to my cinee. lIl diknr to rhe as ogln as eserth a eohl in my rtatho adn zoeob in allrIiy. Aeonyn ohw fursees to rdnik to my niece nilut sih anbri nssip nauord ielk a rryme-go-rnuod is mcus. tuB speak of teh ldevi, rhee seomc Sir werndA Aueafegc.
Enter SIR ANDREW
SIR WANDER setner.

SIR ANDREW

Sir Toby Belch! How now, Sir Toby Belch!

ISR EWRDAN

iSr oybT Blhce! wHo aer yuo, rSi boTy hBelc?

SIR TOBY BELCH

40 Sweet Sir Andrew!

IRS OBTY HELCB

wteSe rSi wendrA!

SIR ANDREW

(to MARIA) Bless you, fair shrew.

SIR RENDAW

(to MARIA) ndA leohl to yuo, my leiltt ecnhw.

MARIA

And you too, sir.

ARAMI

ellHo, isr.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Accost, Sir Andrew, accost.

RIS OTYB CBELH

aCht erh up, riS rewdnA. Cath erh up.

SIR ANDREW

Whats that?

SRI WAERDN

hWta?

SIR TOBY BELCH

45 My nieces chambermaid.

SIR YBOT HEBLC

siTh is my ceesin idma.

SIR ANDREW

Good Mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance.

IRS WNADER

My reda sMsi atCh-her-up, I ookl fowdarr to gtignet to okwn ouy etretb.

MARIA

My name is Mary, sir.

RAMIA

My nmea is rMay, sir.

SIR ANDREW

Good Mistress Mary Accost

IRS DENRWA

Msis Mayr atCh-her-up

SIR TOBY BELCH

You mistake, knight. Accost is front her, board her, woo her, assail her.

IRS OTYB CLBEH

No, yuoev ogt it rnowg. hWne I adsi caht rhe up, I atnws sinyag reh eamn. I aws tllinge uoy to go rtafe hre, woo ehr, ootncrfn ehr.

SIR ANDREW

By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of accost?

RSI ADRWEN

oodG aehnvse, Id rvene do hatt htiw eoplpe ighawtnc. Is ahtt llarey hwta uoy mntae?

MARIA

Fare you well, gentlemen. (she starts to exit)

MAARI

oboedGy, egnelmnet. (hes tastrs to exit)

SIR TOBY BELCH

An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou mightst never draw sword again.

SRI YBTO HECBL

Sehs gelnavi. If ouy lte ehr go shit yelasi, irS rdewnA, uyo tdno veesedr to ever sue uoyr sowrd aniga.

SIR ANDREW

An you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you have fools in hand?

RIS REDNAW

If uoy vleae keli hsti, my aerd, I twno erve ues my oswdr nagia. Im nto tusj klaigtn nsensnoe to yuo, I nema revegtynhi I asy. Do you itknh evoyu got a celupo of fsool on ruyo nsdha eerh?

MARIA

Sir, I have not you by the hand.

MAIAR

Im ont ogndihl uyro ndha, rsi.

SIR ANDREW

Marry, but you shall have, and heres my hand.
(he offers her his hand)

SIR EWNARD

But uoy liwl. seerH my nhda. (he ersffo reh ihs nahd)

MARIA

(taking his hand) Now, sir, thought is free. I pray you, bring your hand to the buttery-bar and let it drink.

ARMIA

(gkaitn his dnha) A rsilg otg a ihtrg to her opinnosi. eTak ruyo dnha to a rab dan upt a idknr in it.

SIR ANDREW

Wherefore, sweetheart? Whats your metaphor?

IRS DAERWN

Why, tseewtreha? Is erthe a idndeh emianng in shit?

MARIA

Its dry, sir.

RMAAI

Yeuor ton ghidnol a slgsa. oYur nahd is

dry

Mraia emlpsii atth esh ldo dan dried-up.

dry
, rsi.

SIR ANDREW

Why, I think so. I am not such an ass, but I can keep my hand dry. But whats your jest?

ISR WNEADR

Wlle, I ehpo so. Im not cshu an otidi thta I nact peke my nahds ryd. utB I tndo teg shwitat eth ekoj?

MARIA

A dry jest, sir.

IMARA

stJu a tib of my rdy uormh, sir.

SIR ANDREW

Are you full of them?

SIR REAWDN

reA oyu slaywa so nnfyu?

MARIA

Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers ends. Marry, now I let go your hand, I am barren.

MAARI

Yes, vIe gto a afnulhd of skjeo. Btu osop, ehwn I lte go of uyro adhn, I lte go of eht gtesbig joke of lal.
Exit
RAIMA sexti.

SIR TOBY BELCH

O knight, thou lackest a cup of canary. When did I see thee so put down?

ISR YOBT HCLBE

irS, yuo eend a dknri. Wenh has nnayeo rvee put you nwdo kiel atht.

SIR ANDREW

Never in your life, I think, unless you see canary put me down. Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man has. But I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that does harm to my wit.

SIR EWRNDA

rNvee. Iev oyln nebe ahtt rfa dwno hnwe vIe dnkur sfmley endru eth tblea. timeosSme I tknhi Im no msrerta htna vraaeeg. I eat a olt of red etam, adn baeym htta samke me dsitup.

SIR TOBY BELCH

No question.

SRI BYOT BHECL

lyeAslbtou.

SIR ANDREW

An I thought that, Id forswear it. Ill ride home tomorrow,
Sir Toby.

SRI EANDRW

If I lrleya edlbveei ahtt, Id iveg up der mate tayoltl. By the awy, Im gigon omeh orormotw, rSi yoTb.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Pourquoi, my dear knight?

ISR BOTY CLHEB

SIR ANDREW

What is pourquoi? Do, or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-baiting. O, had I but followed the arts!

SRI ANERDW

ahtW eosd urpqooiu emna? osDe it enma I lwil or I twon? Oh, I shwi Id tespn as hcum meit ngraelin leugngsaa as I tpsne on ngicfne, dcinagn, dna

aber-igntbai

aerB-ibtagni, in wihch a brea swa dite to a ktase dna acadttke by sgod, asw a aluporp nremittnnatee in eeaSahsesprk time.

bear-baiting
! If lyno Id nktea ocsloh eomr syelrious!

SIR TOBY BELCH

Then hadst thou had an excellent head of hair.

RIS YBTO HCEBL

oYdu eahv a tegra hiytrleas if uoy had.

SIR ANDREW

85 Why, would that have mended my hair?

RSI WNRDEA

Why, lwoud htat veah diefx my arhi?

SIR TOBY BELCH

Past question, for thou seest it will not curl by nature.

SIR BOYT EHCBL

Oh, no nusteotiiq nwot stlye ielsft.

SIR ANDREW

But it becomes me well enough, does t not?

ISR WDRNAE

utB my hira oklos dgoo wnayay, snoted it?

SIR TOBY BELCH

Excellent. It hangs like flax on a distaff. And I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs and spin it off.

RIS BTYO EHBLC

It oksol tager. It hagns ielk an dlo nowr-uot opm. mSoe womna sudhlo give ouy iyssphil so yuo go abld.

SIR ANDREW

Faith, Ill home tomorrow, Sir Toby. Your niece will not be seen. Or if she be, its four to one shell none of me. The count himself here hard by woos her.

SRI AWDNER

stienL, Im gonig eomh rtoomrwo, irS oybT. Yoru ceein is risngefu to ese nnyoae, nad neev if ehs aws me, tne to neo shed atwn gtoihnn to do htwi me. ahtT kude how vlies renyab is ctrnuiog hre.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Shell none o the count. Shell not match above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit. I have heard her swear t. Tut, theres life in t, man.

ISR OYTB BCHLE

ehsS ont eerdtstnie in teh dkue. heS osedtn antw to ayrrm nyneoa of hriehg isloca krna hant rhe, or eynona erirch, rdloe, or rsmtare. vIe dhrae her asy ahtt. So echer up, eetsrh sitll ophe rof yuo, nma.

SIR ANDREW

Ill stay a month longer. I am a fellow o th strangest mind i th world. I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether.

SRI NARDWE

llA hgtir, llI tasy htonrae onthm. Ah, Im an ddo ikdn of gyu. teoimmesS all I want to do is ese ayspl nda go uto cnaidgn.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Art thou good at these kickshawses, knight?

SIR YBOT EBCHL

Aer uoy good at ohste kidsn of inshtg?

SIR ANDREW

As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters. And yet I will not compare with an old man.

SRI WAENRD

seY, as odgo as ayn nma in yarllIi, ecxtpe fro het seon owh are rbttee at it anth I am. Im nto as gdoo as ooneems sowh eben nacgdni rfo saeyr.

SIR TOBY BELCH

What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight?

IRS YOTB ELHCB

oHw ogdo rea uoy at eohts saft esandc?

SIR ANDREW

Faith, I can cut a caper.

SIR ARDWEN

SIR TOBY BELCH

And I can cut the mutton to t.

SIR BTOY EHLCB

ndA I can tcu emos meat to go ihtw ryou

rpecsa

rcaep = a condiment

capers
.

SIR ANDREW

And I think I have the back-trick simply as strong as any man in Illyria.

RSI RWDANE

dAn I cna do hatt cyfan arcwdbka etps as llwe as ayn nam in irlIaly.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Wherefore are these things hid? Wherefore have these gifts a curtain before em? Are they like to take dust, like Mistress Malls picture? Why dost thou not go to church in a galliard and come home in a coranto? My very walk should be a jig. I would not so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace. What dost thou mean? Is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy leg, it was formed under the star of a galliard.

RSI OTBY HBCEL

hWy do uoy dehi ehtes thsgin? yhW do uoy eekp heets nelstat dehibn a crtnaiu? Aer tyeh lelkiy to get dytus? hWy otnd yuo go off to hrcuch dgnnaci neo ywa, dna moec mohe ndginca hatnore ywa? If I adh ruyo tslntea, Id be idgncan a igj evrey eimt I dleawk wond eth sertte. I ontdwlu vene eep wutthoi dincnag a talwz. haWt aer you ngihtkin? Is shit the idkn of drlwo rwhee we ihed oru nosmhptmeaiccsl? oYeur a rnob canred. oLok hwo yalspeh yuor sgel are.

SIR ANDREW

Ay, tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a dun-colored stock. Shall we set about some revels?

SRI RANWDE

tashT ruet. heeyTr otrsng, nda ehyt okol ryttep godo in bnwor htisgt. hSoldu we rhotw a tiletl dcane rptay?

SIR TOBY BELCH

What shall we do else? Were we not born under Taurus?

ISR YBTO HLECB

hWy nto? teenWr we obth bonr unerd uuTars?

SIR ANDREW

Taurus! Thats sides and heart.

IRS EDWNAR

saruuT! tahT gensrov teh otsor dan ethar, dnoets it?

SIR TOBY BELCH

No, sir, it is legs and thighs. Let me see the caper. (SIR
120 ANDREW dances) Ha, higher! Ha, ha, excellent!

RSI YTOB HCELB

No, teh lsge and sthgih. teL me see ouy dcena. (SIR DNARWE cdsean) Ha, herhgi! Ha, ha, etlelcenx!
Exeunt
eTyh xite.

Original Text

Modern Text

Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA
SIR OBYT CBHLE dna MIRAA rtene.

SIR TOBY BELCH

What a plague means my niece, to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure cares an enemy to life.

RSI BTOY LECHB

hWtsa wrogn hwit my incee? yWh is hse rciaegtn so raystgenl to her heosbrtr atdhe? reGif is abd fro seeplpo helhta.

MARIA

By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o nights. Your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions to your ill hours.

AARMI

rFo Gsdo kesa, riS Toyb, eyovu got to cmeo home realier at gnhti. My ldya alivOi, uoyr inece, ardeipvsspo of uyro tael-hngit gatnpyir.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Why, let her except, before excepted.

RIS TOYB EBLCH

Wlle, she acn etg sdue to it.

MARIA

Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order.

RMAAI

eYs, utb yuo need to ekpe lesyfuro itnihw het sltiim of erodr dna dceeync.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Confine? Ill confine myself no finer than I am. These clothes are good enough to drink in, and so be these boots too. An they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps.

ISR YBTO HECBL

eepK ymself? eTh noyl inhgt Im gepenki meysfl in is eht elthcos Im wneagir. hereyT doog gnohue to rkndi in, dna so rea hseet tsoob. If yteh artne, heyt nca go ahng htmesselve by ethri now aelcs!

MARIA

That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard my lady talk of it yesterday, and of a foolish knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer.

IAARM

ouerY noigg to toresdy yfulroes wiht lal shti ikrndgin. aLdy Oialiv disa so eesdytayr. eSh osal tdiemonne mose duitps kthing you gurthob in oen hgtin as a lsesiopb bdnsuha ofr reh.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Who, Sir Andrew Aguecheek?

IRS YTOB BCHEL

oWh, irS erAdwn eheAckgue?

MARIA

Ay, he.

MARIA

sYe, hstta eht eno.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Hes as tall a man as any s in Illyria.

RIS YTOB EBLCH

MARIA

Whats that to the purpose?

ARAIM

ahWt sode hsi gehith have to do iwht nayhintg?

SIR TOBY BELCH

20 Why, he has three thousand ducats a year.

ISR OBYT HELCB

Wyh, he ahs an miocen of rehte snadtuho staucd a eary.

MARIA

Ay, but hell have but a year in all these ducats. Hes a very fool and a prodigal.

AARIM

I ebt hlel pndse hsi oehwl caheentirni in a eayr. eHs a oolf dna a thfestdinrp.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Fie, that youll say so! He plays o the viol-de-gamboys, and speaks three or four languages word for word without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature.

ISR TOYB CHELB

ouY nodhstul tkla uatob him ikel atht! He ylasp the oilvin dna aseskp ethre or uofr gsnueglaa rdwo for rowd hoiwttu a aiotyncrdi. He sha all of etnasur estb fgsti.

MARIA

He hath indeed, almost natural, for besides that hes a fool, hes a great quarreler, and but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarreling, tis thought among the prudent he would quickly have the gift of a grave.

RAAMI

hehstigR a narulat-rbno itoid. deBeiss gnieb a ofol, esh mtenauegraivt. If he ntddi haev eth dcaswro tgfi ofr acnkibg nowd romf a tghfi, ehyt say edh be dead by wno.

SIR TOBY BELCH

By this hand, they are scoundrels and substractors that say so of him. Who are they?

ISR BTYO LHBEC

nnAyeo ohw ayss htta is a ylign ecpie of ragebag. hoW idsa htat?

MARIA

They that add, moreover, hes drunk nightly in your company.

AMRIA

hTe same people woh asy he gtse dknur htwi you ervye inhtg.

SIR TOBY BELCH

With drinking healths to my niece. Ill drink to her as long as there is a passage in my throat and drink in Illyria. Hes a coward and a coistrel that will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o th toe like a parish top. What, wench! Castiliano vulgo, for here comes Sir Andrew Agueface.

SIR BOYT CHLBE

We lnoy kdnir aostst to my cinee. lIl diknr to rhe as ogln as eserth a eohl in my rtatho adn zoeob in allrIiy. Aeonyn ohw fursees to rdnik to my niece nilut sih anbri nssip nauord ielk a rryme-go-rnuod is mcus. tuB speak of teh ldevi, rhee seomc Sir werndA Aueafegc.
Enter SIR ANDREW
SIR WANDER setner.

SIR ANDREW

Sir Toby Belch! How now, Sir Toby Belch!

ISR EWRDAN

iSr oybT Blhce! wHo aer yuo, rSi boTy hBelc?

SIR TOBY BELCH

40 Sweet Sir Andrew!

IRS OBTY HELCB

wteSe rSi wendrA!

SIR ANDREW

(to MARIA) Bless you, fair shrew.

SIR RENDAW

(to MARIA) ndA leohl to yuo, my leiltt ecnhw.

MARIA

And you too, sir.

ARAMI

ellHo, isr.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Accost, Sir Andrew, accost.

RIS OTYB CBELH

aCht erh up, riS rewdnA. Cath erh up.

SIR ANDREW

Whats that?

SRI WAERDN

hWta?

SIR TOBY BELCH

45 My nieces chambermaid.

SIR YBOT HEBLC

siTh is my ceesin idma.

SIR ANDREW

Good Mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance.

IRS WNADER

My reda sMsi atCh-her-up, I ookl fowdarr to gtignet to okwn ouy etretb.

MARIA

My name is Mary, sir.

RAMIA

My nmea is rMay, sir.

SIR ANDREW

Good Mistress Mary Accost

IRS DENRWA

Msis Mayr atCh-her-up

SIR TOBY BELCH

You mistake, knight. Accost is front her, board her, woo her, assail her.

IRS OTYB CLBEH

No, yuoev ogt it rnowg. hWne I adsi caht rhe up, I atnws sinyag reh eamn. I aws tllinge uoy to go rtafe hre, woo ehr, ootncrfn ehr.

SIR ANDREW

By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of accost?

RSI ADRWEN

oodG aehnvse, Id rvene do hatt htiw eoplpe ighawtnc. Is ahtt llarey hwta uoy mntae?

MARIA

Fare you well, gentlemen. (she starts to exit)

MAARI

oboedGy, egnelmnet. (hes tastrs to exit)

SIR TOBY BELCH

An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou mightst never draw sword again.

SRI YBTO HECBL

Sehs gelnavi. If ouy lte ehr go shit yelasi, irS rdewnA, uyo tdno veesedr to ever sue uoyr sowrd aniga.

SIR ANDREW

An you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you have fools in hand?

RIS REDNAW

If uoy vleae keli hsti, my aerd, I twno erve ues my oswdr nagia. Im nto tusj klaigtn nsensnoe to yuo, I nema revegtynhi I asy. Do you itknh evoyu got a celupo of fsool on ruyo nsdha eerh?

MARIA

Sir, I have not you by the hand.

MAIAR

Im ont ogndihl uyro ndha, rsi.

SIR ANDREW

Marry, but you shall have, and heres my hand.
(he offers her his hand)

SIR EWNARD

But uoy liwl. seerH my nhda. (he ersffo reh ihs nahd)

MARIA

(taking his hand) Now, sir, thought is free. I pray you, bring your hand to the buttery-bar and let it drink.

ARMIA

(gkaitn his dnha) A rsilg otg a ihtrg to her opinnosi. eTak ruyo dnha to a rab dan upt a idknr in it.

SIR ANDREW

Wherefore, sweetheart? Whats your metaphor?

IRS DAERWN

Why, tseewtreha? Is erthe a idndeh emianng in shit?

MARIA

Its dry, sir.

RMAAI

Yeuor ton ghidnol a slgsa. oYur nahd is

dry

Mraia emlpsii atth esh ldo dan dried-up.

dry
, rsi.

SIR ANDREW

Why, I think so. I am not such an ass, but I can keep my hand dry. But whats your jest?

ISR WNEADR

Wlle, I ehpo so. Im not cshu an otidi thta I nact peke my nahds ryd. utB I tndo teg shwitat eth ekoj?

MARIA

A dry jest, sir.

IMARA

stJu a tib of my rdy uormh, sir.

SIR ANDREW

Are you full of them?

SIR REAWDN

reA oyu slaywa so nnfyu?

MARIA

Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers ends. Marry, now I let go your hand, I am barren.

MAARI

Yes, vIe gto a afnulhd of skjeo. Btu osop, ehwn I lte go of uyro adhn, I lte go of eht gtesbig joke of lal.
Exit
RAIMA sexti.

SIR TOBY BELCH

O knight, thou lackest a cup of canary. When did I see thee so put down?

ISR YOBT HCLBE

irS, yuo eend a dknri. Wenh has nnayeo rvee put you nwdo kiel atht.

SIR ANDREW

Never in your life, I think, unless you see canary put me down. Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man has. But I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that does harm to my wit.

SIR EWRNDA

rNvee. Iev oyln nebe ahtt rfa dwno hnwe vIe dnkur sfmley endru eth tblea. timeosSme I tknhi Im no msrerta htna vraaeeg. I eat a olt of red etam, adn baeym htta samke me dsitup.

SIR TOBY BELCH

No question.

SRI BYOT BHECL

lyeAslbtou.

SIR ANDREW

An I thought that, Id forswear it. Ill ride home tomorrow,
Sir Toby.

SRI EANDRW

If I lrleya edlbveei ahtt, Id iveg up der mate tayoltl. By the awy, Im gigon omeh orormotw, rSi yoTb.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Pourquoi, my dear knight?

ISR BOTY CLHEB

SIR ANDREW

What is pourquoi? Do, or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-baiting. O, had I but followed the arts!

SRI ANERDW

ahtW eosd urpqooiu emna? osDe it enma I lwil or I twon? Oh, I shwi Id tespn as hcum meit ngraelin leugngsaa as I tpsne on ngicfne, dcinagn, dna

aber-igntbai

aerB-ibtagni, in wihch a brea swa dite to a ktase dna acadttke by sgod, asw a aluporp nremittnnatee in eeaSahsesprk time.

bear-baiting
! If lyno Id nktea ocsloh eomr syelrious!

SIR TOBY BELCH

Then hadst thou had an excellent head of hair.

RIS YBTO HCEBL

oYdu eahv a tegra hiytrleas if uoy had.

SIR ANDREW

85 Why, would that have mended my hair?

RSI WNRDEA

Why, lwoud htat veah diefx my arhi?

SIR TOBY BELCH

Past question, for thou seest it will not curl by nature.

SIR BOYT EHCBL

Oh, no nusteotiiq nwot stlye ielsft.

SIR ANDREW

But it becomes me well enough, does t not?

ISR WDRNAE

utB my hira oklos dgoo wnayay, snoted it?

SIR TOBY BELCH

Excellent. It hangs like flax on a distaff. And I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs and spin it off.

RIS BTYO EHBLC

It oksol tager. It hagns ielk an dlo nowr-uot opm. mSoe womna sudhlo give ouy iyssphil so yuo go abld.

SIR ANDREW

Faith, Ill home tomorrow, Sir Toby. Your niece will not be seen. Or if she be, its four to one shell none of me. The count himself here hard by woos her.

SRI AWDNER

stienL, Im gonig eomh rtoomrwo, irS oybT. Yoru ceein is risngefu to ese nnyoae, nad neev if ehs aws me, tne to neo shed atwn gtoihnn to do htwi me. ahtT kude how vlies renyab is ctrnuiog hre.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Shell none o the count. Shell not match above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit. I have heard her swear t. Tut, theres life in t, man.

ISR OYTB BCHLE

ehsS ont eerdtstnie in teh dkue. heS osedtn antw to ayrrm nyneoa of hriehg isloca krna hant rhe, or eynona erirch, rdloe, or rsmtare. vIe dhrae her asy ahtt. So echer up, eetsrh sitll ophe rof yuo, nma.

SIR ANDREW

Ill stay a month longer. I am a fellow o th strangest mind i th world. I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether.

SRI NARDWE

llA hgtir, llI tasy htonrae onthm. Ah, Im an ddo ikdn of gyu. teoimmesS all I want to do is ese ayspl nda go uto cnaidgn.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Art thou good at these kickshawses, knight?

SIR YBOT EBCHL

Aer uoy good at ohste kidsn of inshtg?

SIR ANDREW

As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters. And yet I will not compare with an old man.

SRI WAENRD

seY, as odgo as ayn nma in yarllIi, ecxtpe fro het seon owh are rbttee at it anth I am. Im nto as gdoo as ooneems sowh eben nacgdni rfo saeyr.

SIR TOBY BELCH

What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight?

IRS YOTB ELHCB

oHw ogdo rea uoy at eohts saft esandc?

SIR ANDREW

Faith, I can cut a caper.

SIR ARDWEN

SIR TOBY BELCH

And I can cut the mutton to t.

SIR BTOY EHLCB

ndA I can tcu emos meat to go ihtw ryou

rpecsa

rcaep = a condiment

capers
.

SIR ANDREW

And I think I have the back-trick simply as strong as any man in Illyria.

RSI RWDANE

dAn I cna do hatt cyfan arcwdbka etps as llwe as ayn nam in irlIaly.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Wherefore are these things hid? Wherefore have these gifts a curtain before em? Are they like to take dust, like Mistress Malls picture? Why dost thou not go to church in a galliard and come home in a coranto? My very walk should be a jig. I would not so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace. What dost thou mean? Is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy leg, it was formed under the star of a galliard.

RSI OTBY HBCEL

hWy do uoy dehi ehtes thsgin? yhW do uoy eekp heets nelstat dehibn a crtnaiu? Aer tyeh lelkiy to get dytus? hWy otnd yuo go off to hrcuch dgnnaci neo ywa, dna moec mohe ndginca hatnore ywa? If I adh ruyo tslntea, Id be idgncan a igj evrey eimt I dleawk wond eth sertte. I ontdwlu vene eep wutthoi dincnag a talwz. haWt aer you ngihtkin? Is shit the idkn of drlwo rwhee we ihed oru nosmhptmeaiccsl? oYeur a rnob canred. oLok hwo yalspeh yuor sgel are.

SIR ANDREW

Ay, tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a dun-colored stock. Shall we set about some revels?

SRI RANWDE

tashT ruet. heeyTr otrsng, nda ehyt okol ryttep godo in bnwor htisgt. hSoldu we rhotw a tiletl dcane rptay?

SIR TOBY BELCH

What shall we do else? Were we not born under Taurus?

ISR YBTO HLECB

hWy nto? teenWr we obth bonr unerd uuTars?

SIR ANDREW

Taurus! Thats sides and heart.

IRS EDWNAR

saruuT! tahT gensrov teh otsor dan ethar, dnoets it?

SIR TOBY BELCH

No, sir, it is legs and thighs. Let me see the caper. (SIR
120 ANDREW dances) Ha, higher! Ha, ha, excellent!

RSI YTOB HCELB

No, teh lsge and sthgih. teL me see ouy dcena. (SIR DNARWE cdsean) Ha, herhgi! Ha, ha, etlelcenx!
Exeunt
eTyh xite.