No Fear Shakespeare: Twelfth Night: Act 1 Scene 3

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Original Text	Modern Text
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA	IRS OBYT HELBC adn AMAIR enert.
SIR TOBY BELCH What a plague means my niece, to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure cares an enemy to life.	RIS TBYO ELHCB atWsh wrgon ithw my iecne? yWh is she tanrgeic so legtnaysr to erh rebrohst hdaet? fGrie is bad rof slepeop hhalte.
MARIA By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o nights. Your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions to your ill hours.	AMARI oFr doGs aeks, riS Tybo, ouyev otg to moce ehom areirle at inhgt. My daly vaOlii, uory ecnie, rvadsipopse of oyru ltae-hitgn rpnygati.
SIR TOBY BELCH Why, let her except, before excepted.	SRI YTOB HEBLC ellW, hes acn tge dues to it.
MARIA Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order.	AMARI Yse, but ouy eden to pkee suofrlye hniwti the tsmlii of deror nda yecdecn.
SIR TOBY BELCH Confine? Ill confine myself no finer than I am. These clothes are good enough to drink in, and so be these boots too. An they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps.	RIS YOTB EHLCB epeK lsmeyf? ehT nlyo ginht Im kegnpie emsfly in is hte elohcst Im rngiawe. Teyrhe doog gnuoeh to kidnr in, dan so ear ehste ostbo. If htye enatr, yteh nac go hgan etvsleesmh by hrite nwo lesac!
MARIA That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard my lady talk of it yesterday, and of a foolish knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer.	ARMAI uYreo oigng to rytsdeo syuoerfl htiw all stih igikrndn. adyL vaiilO iads so dyytereas. She olsa ennedoimt smeo uipstd hnkgit uoy hrgoubt in neo ntgih as a seibspol bndahsu ofr ehr.
SIR TOBY BELCH Who, Sir Andrew Aguecheek?	SRI YTOB EBHCL Who, Sir dnwrAe ecekhueAg?
MARIA Ay, he.	AARIM sYe, tstah eht eno.
SIR TOBY BELCH Hes as tall a man as any s in Illyria.	SRI TBOY CBEHL sHe as allt laTl docul be sdue as anlgs for brave. tall as a anm in yalIlri.
MARIA Whats that to the purpose?	MIARA thWa dose hsi ehihtg avhe to do wiht gyiahntn?
SIR TOBY BELCH 20 Why, he has three thousand ducats a year.	SIR YBTO BHLCE yhW, he ahs an omeicn of rehte thnsadou dctsua a yare.
MARIA Ay, but hell have but a year in all these ducats. Hes a very fool and a prodigal.	AIRMA I ebt ellh npdse sih hlewo eehiitncnra in a ryea. Hes a olof dna a tteipsdhnfr.
SIR TOBY BELCH Fie, that youll say so! He plays o the viol-de-gamboys, and speaks three or four languages word for word without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature.	SRI TYOB BCLEH Yuo oltsnhdu ktal abtuo mhi kiel that! He pylsa het livnoi adn sakeps hrtee or oufr nggaeluas wodr for rwdo otthwui a iintrcydao. He ahs lla of ntsuear btes igfts.
MARIA He hath indeed, almost natural, for besides that hes a fool, hes a great quarreler, and but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarreling, tis thought among the prudent he would quickly have the gift of a grave.	ARIAM hRhtiegs a utlnraa-born dtoii. iesdseB ebgni a fool, seh euaietvrgmtna. If he dditn heva hte docrsaw gtif rfo igncbka ndwo mrfo a gfiht, yhte ysa hde be adde by onw.
SIR TOBY BELCH By this hand, they are scoundrels and substractors that say so of him. Who are they?	ISR YBOT EHBCL yoneAn woh ssay thta is a ygnli cpeei of ragebga. hoW dsai thta?
MARIA They that add, moreover, hes drunk nightly in your company.	AAMIR eTh amse opelep ohw asy he steg kndur iwth uyo eyvre gtnih.
SIR TOBY BELCH With drinking healths to my niece. Ill drink to her as long as there is a passage in my throat and drink in Illyria. Hes a coward and a coistrel that will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o th toe like a parish top. What, wench! Castiliano vulgo, for here comes Sir Andrew Agueface.	ISR OYTB EHBCL We lnoy rdnki osstta to my neiec. Ill irdkn to ehr as ongl as hestre a lheo in my trthao dna oeboz in lyIlira. yonneA hwo eusefsr to drnki to my eceni unilt sih nraib npssi rundoa lkei a ymrre-go-dnrou is musc. tuB speak of het veldi, rehe omesc Sir drAenw auefAgec.
Enter SIR ANDREW	SRI EWNADR etsren.
SIR ANDREW Sir Toby Belch! How now, Sir Toby Belch!	RIS RNAWDE rSi yboT chBle! woH rae uoy, irS yTob lhceB?
SIR TOBY BELCH 40 Sweet Sir Andrew!	SRI OBYT ECHLB eSwet irS dnreAw!
SIR ANDREW (to MARIA) Bless you, fair shrew.	IRS WNDAER (to MARIA) dAn helol to ouy, my ielttl wchne.
MARIA And you too, sir.	AIRAM llHeo, ris.
SIR TOBY BELCH Accost, Sir Andrew, accost.	RSI YBTO LHCEB Ctha hre up, irS nwAedr. Chat rhe up.
SIR ANDREW Whats that?	SRI RADNWE Wath?
SIR TOBY BELCH 45 My nieces chambermaid.	SRI OTYB BHECL Tish is my ecesin imad.
SIR ANDREW Good Mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance.	IRS ENDWRA My daer issM aCth-erh-up, I kloo fwrador to tigetgn to onwk uoy brttee.
MARIA My name is Mary, sir.	AIRMA My enma is Myra, sir.
SIR ANDREW Good Mistress Mary Accost	SIR AEDWRN iMss rMay Caht-hre-up
SIR TOBY BELCH You mistake, knight. Accost is front her, board her, woo her, assail her.	SIR BOYT LBHEC No, oyveu gto it norwg. hWen I said hatc hre up, I nawst asnigy ehr eanm. I saw gliteln ouy to go eftra reh, owo hre, tconornf hre.
SIR ANDREW By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of accost?	SIR RAWEND oGod envaseh, Id nvree do thta htwi people ahwcngit. Is htat lelrya tawh ouy tname?
MARIA Fare you well, gentlemen. (she starts to exit)	MARIA eydGoob, nenletgem. (ehs asstrt to xite)
SIR TOBY BELCH An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou mightst never draw sword again.	SIR BOTY CEHLB sShe ngviael. If ouy tle erh go htis elaysi, riS wernAd, you tnod eredsve to ever eus yoru sdrow aagin.
SIR ANDREW An you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you have fools in hand?	SIR NWDERA If uoy eelav keli sith, my eard, I wton eerv esu my dswro ignaa. Im otn utjs nigklat ensnosen to you, I eman thrnveeigy I ays. Do you kntih voeuy ogt a ecolpu of folso on yuro dsnah rehe?
MARIA Sir, I have not you by the hand.	AAMRI Im nto nilhodg uoyr danh, irs.
SIR ANDREW Marry, but you shall have, and heres my hand. (he offers her his hand)	SRI DRAENW Btu uyo wlli. eeHrs my ndah. (he fofrse her sih dnah)
MARIA (taking his hand) Now, sir, thought is free. I pray you, bring your hand to the buttery-bar and let it drink.	AARIM (ngktai ish ahdn) A islgr tog a htgir to reh snonoiip. kaeT rouy dahn to a rba dna utp a knrdi in it.
SIR ANDREW Wherefore, sweetheart? Whats your metaphor?	SIR RNAEDW yhW, teewreshat? Is reeht a ddhein nemnaig in ihst?
MARIA Its dry, sir.	RAIMA Yeuro tno nhidolg a gssal. uYro hdan is dyr aMira miplesi ahtt seh dlo nda dried-up. dry, irs.
SIR ANDREW Why, I think so. I am not such an ass, but I can keep my hand dry. But whats your jest?	SRI DAERWN elWl, I poeh so. Im not suhc an iotid htat I ntca eekp my ahsnd rdy. uBt I tdon get wtthasi eth jeko?
MARIA A dry jest, sir.	IMAAR tsuJ a tib of my yrd rumho, irs.
SIR ANDREW Are you full of them?	IRS DENWRA rAe yuo aysalw so nnuyf?
MARIA Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers ends. Marry, now I let go your hand, I am barren.	IRAAM Yes, evI tog a lfnuhda of kesjo. tuB poos, wenh I tle go of ruyo adnh, I tel go of teh segibtg kjoe of lal.
Exit	RAMAI isext.
SIR TOBY BELCH O knight, thou lackest a cup of canary. When did I see thee so put down?	RIS TYOB HECBL Sir, ouy ened a drnik. neWh hsa yaoenn vree tpu yuo dwon ikle tath.
SIR ANDREW Never in your life, I think, unless you see canary put me down. Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man has. But I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that does harm to my wit.	SIR DANWRE Nvree. vIe ylon neeb ttah afr owdn ewnh Ive ndkur lfymse rduen eht eabtl. metiosSme I ntkih Im no rmsaret hant aergaev. I tae a otl of dre meta, dan yameb thta msake me pidsut.
SIR TOBY BELCH No question.	ISR BYOT CLEHB sltyeAolbu.
SIR ANDREW An I thought that, Id forswear it. Ill ride home tomorrow, Sir Toby.	SIR RNDEAW If I ellray elvdibee taht, Id evig up der tame tayllto. By the ywa, Im ggnio hoem otroowmr, Sir byTo.
SIR TOBY BELCH Pourquoi, my dear knight?	RSI TYOB CHELB uiqurooP iPqouruo nmeas why in French. Pourquoi, my rnfedi?
SIR ANDREW What is pourquoi? Do, or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-baiting. O, had I but followed the arts!	SIR EWNRDA atWh esod orupuoiq mnae? eDos it amen I wlli or I onwt? Oh, I whis Id pnest as hcmu tmie ianngrel aaugnlesg as I ptesn on cenfnig, adngcin, dan bera-tnbgaii aeBr-abgntii, in hhcwi a bear swa eitd to a keast and ceattakd by odsg, wsa a urplpao nneamteinttre in keeSasshaepr time. bear-baiting! If nyol Id tkean cohslo eomr uoyiesrls!
SIR TOBY BELCH Then hadst thou had an excellent head of hair.	SIR OTBY CBHLE uYdo vaeh a arteg rtylsihae if ouy dah.
SIR ANDREW 85 Why, would that have mended my hair?	ISR WDEANR Wyh, ldouw ttah eahv xifde my ihar?
SIR TOBY BELCH Past question, for thou seest it will not curl by nature.	RIS TBOY LBECH Oh, no qtiteonius onwt etlys lsfeti.
SIR ANDREW But it becomes me well enough, does t not?	RSI AWNRED But my airh lokso oogd nwayay, deston it?
SIR TOBY BELCH Excellent. It hangs like flax on a distaff. And I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs and spin it off.	IRS TYBO CBEHL It oolks eagtr. It gashn klei an dlo ownr-otu omp. Soem amwon dsoluh evgi oyu ilshpyis so yuo go dbal.
SIR ANDREW Faith, Ill home tomorrow, Sir Toby. Your niece will not be seen. Or if she be, its four to one shell none of me. The count himself here hard by woos her.	SRI NERWDA esnitL, Im gngio ehom orowmrot, Sri boTy. ourY eniec is ungerfsi to ese anonye, dan neev if hse was me, ten to neo hdse anwt tngohni to do whit me. ahTt kedu woh isvel ayenbr is rngctuoi reh.
SIR TOBY BELCH Shell none o the count. Shell not match above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit. I have heard her swear t. Tut, theres life in t, man.	ISR OTBY EBHLC Sseh otn edrinteste in teh udke. ehS ostdne atnw to ymarr eaynno of ihghre oilcsa rkan tnha ehr, or oannye rrihce, elrod, or ermastr. vIe radeh her yas htta. So eerhc up, eserht ilstl poeh orf uyo, mna.
SIR ANDREW Ill stay a month longer. I am a fellow o th strangest mind i th world. I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether.	IRS DEAWRN All hgirt, llI tsya nrteoah tmnho. Ah, Im an ddo ndik of ygu. eesimStom all I tanw to do is see ypasl adn go uto nandgic.
SIR TOBY BELCH Art thou good at these kickshawses, knight?	RSI OBTY CLHBE Aer ouy ogod at htseo idnks of nithgs?
SIR ANDREW As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters. And yet I will not compare with an old man.	ISR WADRNE esY, as oodg as ayn nam in Iyilarl, peectx orf teh seon how ear treteb at it ahnt I am. Im ton as odgo as msneoeo ohsw bnee ignndca for ryaes.
SIR TOBY BELCH What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight?	IRS TYBO ECLHB wHo dgoo ear oyu at ehtso satf ncesda?
SIR ANDREW Faith, I can cut a caper.	ISR ENRADW eelveBi me, I anc ctu a raecp tuc a perca = dance cut a caper.
SIR TOBY BELCH And I can cut the mutton to t.	ISR YTBO LHECB Adn I cna uct oesm etma to go whti ruyo sarcpe craep = a condiment capers.
SIR ANDREW And I think I have the back-trick simply as strong as any man in Illyria.	RSI DAREWN dAn I nca do htta fcyna darkawbc tspe as lwle as nya nma in yiarIll.
SIR TOBY BELCH Wherefore are these things hid? Wherefore have these gifts a curtain before em? Are they like to take dust, like Mistress Malls picture? Why dost thou not go to church in a galliard and come home in a coranto? My very walk should be a jig. I would not so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace. What dost thou mean? Is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy leg, it was formed under the star of a galliard.	ISR BOYT CBELH hyW do oyu edih htees tnhsig? yhW do uyo keep ehset ttlneas ibdnhe a iranuct? erA yeht lieykl to get sutdy? yWh dotn ouy go ffo to hchrcu iganndc eno ayw, dna coem mheo ncngiad treaohn yaw? If I adh rouy tselant, Id be angicdn a jgi yreev emti I ekawld wdno eht esettr. I ntwodul vnee pee uhwtoti cnnaigd a zwtal. hWta aer you gnhiiknt? Is sthi eht nkdi of rwlod hewer we dhie our clsehaicmpnmtso? eYour a nrob erdnca. oLok ohw ypelsha oyru egls era.
SIR ANDREW Ay, tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a dun-colored stock. Shall we set about some revels?	SRI WENADR Tasth teru. yerTeh gnrtos, and hety kloo tptery ogdo in norwb stghti. oulhdS we wroth a tlltie caned typra?
SIR TOBY BELCH What shall we do else? Were we not born under Taurus?	IRS BYTO LBCHE yhW ton? Wenret we thbo bnro under uruaTs?
SIR ANDREW Taurus! Thats sides and heart.	ISR RENADW uruaTs! Tath rnvogse hte rsoot nda traeh, soetdn it?
SIR TOBY BELCH No, sir, it is legs and thighs. Let me see the caper. (SIR 120 ANDREW dances) Ha, higher! Ha, ha, excellent!	ISR BYTO HCEBL No, teh esgl dna thisgh. tLe me ees yuo cdaen. (SIR AERDNW cendas) Ha, rhighe! Ha, ha, xlcneeelt!
Exeunt	eyhT exit.

Original Text	Modern Text
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA	IRS OBYT HELBC adn AMAIR enert.
SIR TOBY BELCH What a plague means my niece, to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure cares an enemy to life.	RIS TBYO ELHCB atWsh wrgon ithw my iecne? yWh is she tanrgeic so legtnaysr to erh rebrohst hdaet? fGrie is bad rof slepeop hhalte.
MARIA By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o nights. Your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions to your ill hours.	AMARI oFr doGs aeks, riS Tybo, ouyev otg to moce ehom areirle at inhgt. My daly vaOlii, uory ecnie, rvadsipopse of oyru ltae-hitgn rpnygati.
SIR TOBY BELCH Why, let her except, before excepted.	SRI YTOB HEBLC ellW, hes acn tge dues to it.
MARIA Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order.	AMARI Yse, but ouy eden to pkee suofrlye hniwti the tsmlii of deror nda yecdecn.
SIR TOBY BELCH Confine? Ill confine myself no finer than I am. These clothes are good enough to drink in, and so be these boots too. An they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps.	RIS YOTB EHLCB epeK lsmeyf? ehT nlyo ginht Im kegnpie emsfly in is hte elohcst Im rngiawe. Teyrhe doog gnuoeh to kidnr in, dan so ear ehste ostbo. If htye enatr, yteh nac go hgan etvsleesmh by hrite nwo lesac!
MARIA That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard my lady talk of it yesterday, and of a foolish knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer.	ARMAI uYreo oigng to rytsdeo syuoerfl htiw all stih igikrndn. adyL vaiilO iads so dyytereas. She olsa ennedoimt smeo uipstd hnkgit uoy hrgoubt in neo ntgih as a seibspol bndahsu ofr ehr.
SIR TOBY BELCH Who, Sir Andrew Aguecheek?	SRI YTOB EBHCL Who, Sir dnwrAe ecekhueAg?
MARIA Ay, he.	AARIM sYe, tstah eht eno.
SIR TOBY BELCH Hes as tall a man as any s in Illyria.	SRI TBOY CBEHL sHe as allt laTl docul be sdue as anlgs for brave. tall as a anm in yalIlri.
MARIA Whats that to the purpose?	MIARA thWa dose hsi ehihtg avhe to do wiht gyiahntn?
SIR TOBY BELCH 20 Why, he has three thousand ducats a year.	SIR YBTO BHLCE yhW, he ahs an omeicn of rehte thnsadou dctsua a yare.
MARIA Ay, but hell have but a year in all these ducats. Hes a very fool and a prodigal.	AIRMA I ebt ellh npdse sih hlewo eehiitncnra in a ryea. Hes a olof dna a tteipsdhnfr.
SIR TOBY BELCH Fie, that youll say so! He plays o the viol-de-gamboys, and speaks three or four languages word for word without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature.	SRI TYOB BCLEH Yuo oltsnhdu ktal abtuo mhi kiel that! He pylsa het livnoi adn sakeps hrtee or oufr nggaeluas wodr for rwdo otthwui a iintrcydao. He ahs lla of ntsuear btes igfts.
MARIA He hath indeed, almost natural, for besides that hes a fool, hes a great quarreler, and but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarreling, tis thought among the prudent he would quickly have the gift of a grave.	ARIAM hRhtiegs a utlnraa-born dtoii. iesdseB ebgni a fool, seh euaietvrgmtna. If he dditn heva hte docrsaw gtif rfo igncbka ndwo mrfo a gfiht, yhte ysa hde be adde by onw.
SIR TOBY BELCH By this hand, they are scoundrels and substractors that say so of him. Who are they?	ISR YBOT EHBCL yoneAn woh ssay thta is a ygnli cpeei of ragebga. hoW dsai thta?
MARIA They that add, moreover, hes drunk nightly in your company.	AAMIR eTh amse opelep ohw asy he steg kndur iwth uyo eyvre gtnih.
SIR TOBY BELCH With drinking healths to my niece. Ill drink to her as long as there is a passage in my throat and drink in Illyria. Hes a coward and a coistrel that will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o th toe like a parish top. What, wench! Castiliano vulgo, for here comes Sir Andrew Agueface.	ISR OYTB EHBCL We lnoy rdnki osstta to my neiec. Ill irdkn to ehr as ongl as hestre a lheo in my trthao dna oeboz in lyIlira. yonneA hwo eusefsr to drnki to my eceni unilt sih nraib npssi rundoa lkei a ymrre-go-dnrou is musc. tuB speak of het veldi, rehe omesc Sir drAenw auefAgec.
Enter SIR ANDREW	SRI EWNADR etsren.
SIR ANDREW Sir Toby Belch! How now, Sir Toby Belch!	RIS RNAWDE rSi yboT chBle! woH rae uoy, irS yTob lhceB?
SIR TOBY BELCH 40 Sweet Sir Andrew!	SRI OBYT ECHLB eSwet irS dnreAw!
SIR ANDREW (to MARIA) Bless you, fair shrew.	IRS WNDAER (to MARIA) dAn helol to ouy, my ielttl wchne.
MARIA And you too, sir.	AIRAM llHeo, ris.
SIR TOBY BELCH Accost, Sir Andrew, accost.	RSI YBTO LHCEB Ctha hre up, irS nwAedr. Chat rhe up.
SIR ANDREW Whats that?	SRI RADNWE Wath?
SIR TOBY BELCH 45 My nieces chambermaid.	SRI OTYB BHECL Tish is my ecesin imad.
SIR ANDREW Good Mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance.	IRS ENDWRA My daer issM aCth-erh-up, I kloo fwrador to tigetgn to onwk uoy brttee.
MARIA My name is Mary, sir.	AIRMA My enma is Myra, sir.
SIR ANDREW Good Mistress Mary Accost	SIR AEDWRN iMss rMay Caht-hre-up
SIR TOBY BELCH You mistake, knight. Accost is front her, board her, woo her, assail her.	SIR BOYT LBHEC No, oyveu gto it norwg. hWen I said hatc hre up, I nawst asnigy ehr eanm. I saw gliteln ouy to go eftra reh, owo hre, tconornf hre.
SIR ANDREW By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of accost?	SIR RAWEND oGod envaseh, Id nvree do thta htwi people ahwcngit. Is htat lelrya tawh ouy tname?
MARIA Fare you well, gentlemen. (she starts to exit)	MARIA eydGoob, nenletgem. (ehs asstrt to xite)
SIR TOBY BELCH An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou mightst never draw sword again.	SIR BOTY CEHLB sShe ngviael. If ouy tle erh go htis elaysi, riS wernAd, you tnod eredsve to ever eus yoru sdrow aagin.
SIR ANDREW An you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you have fools in hand?	SIR NWDERA If uoy eelav keli sith, my eard, I wton eerv esu my dswro ignaa. Im otn utjs nigklat ensnosen to you, I eman thrnveeigy I ays. Do you kntih voeuy ogt a ecolpu of folso on yuro dsnah rehe?
MARIA Sir, I have not you by the hand.	AAMRI Im nto nilhodg uoyr danh, irs.
SIR ANDREW Marry, but you shall have, and heres my hand. (he offers her his hand)	SRI DRAENW Btu uyo wlli. eeHrs my ndah. (he fofrse her sih dnah)
MARIA (taking his hand) Now, sir, thought is free. I pray you, bring your hand to the buttery-bar and let it drink.	AARIM (ngktai ish ahdn) A islgr tog a htgir to reh snonoiip. kaeT rouy dahn to a rba dna utp a knrdi in it.
SIR ANDREW Wherefore, sweetheart? Whats your metaphor?	SIR RNAEDW yhW, teewreshat? Is reeht a ddhein nemnaig in ihst?
MARIA Its dry, sir.	RAIMA Yeuro tno nhidolg a gssal. uYro hdan is dyr aMira miplesi ahtt seh dlo nda dried-up. dry, irs.
SIR ANDREW Why, I think so. I am not such an ass, but I can keep my hand dry. But whats your jest?	SRI DAERWN elWl, I poeh so. Im not suhc an iotid htat I ntca eekp my ahsnd rdy. uBt I tdon get wtthasi eth jeko?
MARIA A dry jest, sir.	IMAAR tsuJ a tib of my yrd rumho, irs.
SIR ANDREW Are you full of them?	IRS DENWRA rAe yuo aysalw so nnuyf?
MARIA Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers ends. Marry, now I let go your hand, I am barren.	IRAAM Yes, evI tog a lfnuhda of kesjo. tuB poos, wenh I tle go of ruyo adnh, I tel go of teh segibtg kjoe of lal.
Exit	RAMAI isext.
SIR TOBY BELCH O knight, thou lackest a cup of canary. When did I see thee so put down?	RIS TYOB HECBL Sir, ouy ened a drnik. neWh hsa yaoenn vree tpu yuo dwon ikle tath.
SIR ANDREW Never in your life, I think, unless you see canary put me down. Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man has. But I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that does harm to my wit.	SIR DANWRE Nvree. vIe ylon neeb ttah afr owdn ewnh Ive ndkur lfymse rduen eht eabtl. metiosSme I ntkih Im no rmsaret hant aergaev. I tae a otl of dre meta, dan yameb thta msake me pidsut.
SIR TOBY BELCH No question.	ISR BYOT CLEHB sltyeAolbu.
SIR ANDREW An I thought that, Id forswear it. Ill ride home tomorrow, Sir Toby.	SIR RNDEAW If I ellray elvdibee taht, Id evig up der tame tayllto. By the ywa, Im ggnio hoem otroowmr, Sir byTo.
SIR TOBY BELCH Pourquoi, my dear knight?	RSI TYOB CHELB uiqurooP iPqouruo nmeas why in French. Pourquoi, my rnfedi?
SIR ANDREW What is pourquoi? Do, or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-baiting. O, had I but followed the arts!	SIR EWNRDA atWh esod orupuoiq mnae? eDos it amen I wlli or I onwt? Oh, I whis Id pnest as hcmu tmie ianngrel aaugnlesg as I ptesn on cenfnig, adngcin, dan bera-tnbgaii aeBr-abgntii, in hhcwi a bear swa eitd to a keast and ceattakd by odsg, wsa a urplpao nneamteinttre in keeSasshaepr time. bear-baiting! If nyol Id tkean cohslo eomr uoyiesrls!
SIR TOBY BELCH Then hadst thou had an excellent head of hair.	SIR OTBY CBHLE uYdo vaeh a arteg rtylsihae if ouy dah.
SIR ANDREW 85 Why, would that have mended my hair?	ISR WDEANR Wyh, ldouw ttah eahv xifde my ihar?
SIR TOBY BELCH Past question, for thou seest it will not curl by nature.	RIS TBOY LBECH Oh, no qtiteonius onwt etlys lsfeti.
SIR ANDREW But it becomes me well enough, does t not?	RSI AWNRED But my airh lokso oogd nwayay, deston it?
SIR TOBY BELCH Excellent. It hangs like flax on a distaff. And I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs and spin it off.	IRS TYBO CBEHL It oolks eagtr. It gashn klei an dlo ownr-otu omp. Soem amwon dsoluh evgi oyu ilshpyis so yuo go dbal.
SIR ANDREW Faith, Ill home tomorrow, Sir Toby. Your niece will not be seen. Or if she be, its four to one shell none of me. The count himself here hard by woos her.	SRI NERWDA esnitL, Im gngio ehom orowmrot, Sri boTy. ourY eniec is ungerfsi to ese anonye, dan neev if hse was me, ten to neo hdse anwt tngohni to do whit me. ahTt kedu woh isvel ayenbr is rngctuoi reh.
SIR TOBY BELCH Shell none o the count. Shell not match above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit. I have heard her swear t. Tut, theres life in t, man.	ISR OTBY EBHLC Sseh otn edrinteste in teh udke. ehS ostdne atnw to ymarr eaynno of ihghre oilcsa rkan tnha ehr, or oannye rrihce, elrod, or ermastr. vIe radeh her yas htta. So eerhc up, eserht ilstl poeh orf uyo, mna.
SIR ANDREW Ill stay a month longer. I am a fellow o th strangest mind i th world. I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether.	IRS DEAWRN All hgirt, llI tsya nrteoah tmnho. Ah, Im an ddo ndik of ygu. eesimStom all I tanw to do is see ypasl adn go uto nandgic.
SIR TOBY BELCH Art thou good at these kickshawses, knight?	RSI OBTY CLHBE Aer ouy ogod at htseo idnks of nithgs?
SIR ANDREW As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters. And yet I will not compare with an old man.	ISR WADRNE esY, as oodg as ayn nam in Iyilarl, peectx orf teh seon how ear treteb at it ahnt I am. Im ton as odgo as msneoeo ohsw bnee ignndca for ryaes.
SIR TOBY BELCH What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight?	IRS TYBO ECLHB wHo dgoo ear oyu at ehtso satf ncesda?
SIR ANDREW Faith, I can cut a caper.	ISR ENRADW eelveBi me, I anc ctu a raecp tuc a perca = dance cut a caper.
SIR TOBY BELCH And I can cut the mutton to t.	ISR YTBO LHECB Adn I cna uct oesm etma to go whti ruyo sarcpe craep = a condiment capers.
SIR ANDREW And I think I have the back-trick simply as strong as any man in Illyria.	RSI DAREWN dAn I nca do htta fcyna darkawbc tspe as lwle as nya nma in yiarIll.
SIR TOBY BELCH Wherefore are these things hid? Wherefore have these gifts a curtain before em? Are they like to take dust, like Mistress Malls picture? Why dost thou not go to church in a galliard and come home in a coranto? My very walk should be a jig. I would not so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace. What dost thou mean? Is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy leg, it was formed under the star of a galliard.	ISR BOYT CBELH hyW do oyu edih htees tnhsig? yhW do uyo keep ehset ttlneas ibdnhe a iranuct? erA yeht lieykl to get sutdy? yWh dotn ouy go ffo to hchrcu iganndc eno ayw, dna coem mheo ncngiad treaohn yaw? If I adh rouy tselant, Id be angicdn a jgi yreev emti I ekawld wdno eht esettr. I ntwodul vnee pee uhwtoti cnnaigd a zwtal. hWta aer you gnhiiknt? Is sthi eht nkdi of rwlod hewer we dhie our clsehaicmpnmtso? eYour a nrob erdnca. oLok ohw ypelsha oyru egls era.
SIR ANDREW Ay, tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a dun-colored stock. Shall we set about some revels?	SRI WENADR Tasth teru. yerTeh gnrtos, and hety kloo tptery ogdo in norwb stghti. oulhdS we wroth a tlltie caned typra?
SIR TOBY BELCH What shall we do else? Were we not born under Taurus?	IRS BYTO LBCHE yhW ton? Wenret we thbo bnro under uruaTs?
SIR ANDREW Taurus! Thats sides and heart.	ISR RENADW uruaTs! Tath rnvogse hte rsoot nda traeh, soetdn it?
SIR TOBY BELCH No, sir, it is legs and thighs. Let me see the caper. (SIR 120 ANDREW dances) Ha, higher! Ha, ha, excellent!	ISR BYTO HCEBL No, teh esgl dna thisgh. tLe me ees yuo cdaen. (SIR AERDNW cendas) Ha, rhighe! Ha, ha, xlcneeelt!
Exeunt	eyhT exit.