No Fear Shakespeare: Twelfth Night: Act 1 Scene 3

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Original Text	Modern Text
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA	SIR OBYT CBHLE dna MIRAA rtene.
SIR TOBY BELCH What a plague means my niece, to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure cares an enemy to life.	RSI BTOY LECHB hWtsa wrogn hwit my incee? yWh is hse rciaegtn so raystgenl to her heosbrtr atdhe? reGif is abd fro seeplpo helhta.
MARIA By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o nights. Your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions to your ill hours.	AARMI rFo Gsdo kesa, riS Toyb, eyovu got to cmeo home realier at gnhti. My ldya alivOi, uoyr inece, ardeipvsspo of uyro tael-hngit gatnpyir.
SIR TOBY BELCH Why, let her except, before excepted.	RIS TOYB EBLCH Wlle, she acn etg sdue to it.
MARIA Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order.	RMAAI eYs, utb yuo need to ekpe lesyfuro itnihw het sltiim of erodr dna dceeync.
SIR TOBY BELCH Confine? Ill confine myself no finer than I am. These clothes are good enough to drink in, and so be these boots too. An they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps.	ISR YBTO HECBL eepK ymself? eTh noyl inhgt Im gepenki meysfl in is eht elthcos Im wneagir. hereyT doog gnohue to rkndi in, dna so rea hseet tsoob. If yteh artne, heyt nca go ahng htmesselve by ethri now aelcs!
MARIA That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard my lady talk of it yesterday, and of a foolish knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer.	IAARM ouerY noigg to toresdy yfulroes wiht lal shti ikrndgin. aLdy Oialiv disa so eesdytayr. eSh osal tdiemonne mose duitps kthing you gurthob in oen hgtin as a lsesiopb bdnsuha ofr reh.
SIR TOBY BELCH Who, Sir Andrew Aguecheek?	IRS YTOB BCHEL oWh, irS erAdwn eheAckgue?
MARIA Ay, he.	MARIA sYe, hstta eht eno.
SIR TOBY BELCH Hes as tall a man as any s in Illyria.	RIS YTOB EBLCH sHe as tlla allT ocldu be sdue as nasgl rfo brave. tall as a anm in ailyrIl.
MARIA Whats that to the purpose?	ARAIM ahWt sode hsi gehith have to do iwht nayhintg?
SIR TOBY BELCH 20 Why, he has three thousand ducats a year.	ISR OBYT HELCB Wyh, he ahs an miocen of rehte snadtuho staucd a eary.
MARIA Ay, but hell have but a year in all these ducats. Hes a very fool and a prodigal.	AARIM I ebt hlel pndse hsi oehwl caheentirni in a eayr. eHs a oolf dna a thfestdinrp.
SIR TOBY BELCH Fie, that youll say so! He plays o the viol-de-gamboys, and speaks three or four languages word for word without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature.	ISR TOYB CHELB ouY nodhstul tkla uatob him ikel atht! He ylasp the oilvin dna aseskp ethre or uofr gsnueglaa rdwo for rowd hoiwttu a aiotyncrdi. He sha all of etnasur estb fgsti.
MARIA He hath indeed, almost natural, for besides that hes a fool, hes a great quarreler, and but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarreling, tis thought among the prudent he would quickly have the gift of a grave.	RAAMI hehstigR a narulat-rbno itoid. deBeiss gnieb a ofol, esh mtenauegraivt. If he ntddi haev eth dcaswro tgfi ofr acnkibg nowd romf a tghfi, ehyt say edh be dead by wno.
SIR TOBY BELCH By this hand, they are scoundrels and substractors that say so of him. Who are they?	ISR BTYO LHBEC nnAyeo ohw ayss htta is a ylign ecpie of ragebag. hoW idsa htat?
MARIA They that add, moreover, hes drunk nightly in your company.	AMRIA hTe same people woh asy he gtse dknur htwi you ervye inhtg.
SIR TOBY BELCH With drinking healths to my niece. Ill drink to her as long as there is a passage in my throat and drink in Illyria. Hes a coward and a coistrel that will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o th toe like a parish top. What, wench! Castiliano vulgo, for here comes Sir Andrew Agueface.	SIR BOYT CHLBE We lnoy kdnir aostst to my cinee. lIl diknr to rhe as ogln as eserth a eohl in my rtatho adn zoeob in allrIiy. Aeonyn ohw fursees to rdnik to my niece nilut sih anbri nssip nauord ielk a rryme-go-rnuod is mcus. tuB speak of teh ldevi, rhee seomc Sir werndA Aueafegc.
Enter SIR ANDREW	SIR WANDER setner.
SIR ANDREW Sir Toby Belch! How now, Sir Toby Belch!	ISR EWRDAN iSr oybT Blhce! wHo aer yuo, rSi boTy hBelc?
SIR TOBY BELCH 40 Sweet Sir Andrew!	IRS OBTY HELCB wteSe rSi wendrA!
SIR ANDREW (to MARIA) Bless you, fair shrew.	SIR RENDAW (to MARIA) ndA leohl to yuo, my leiltt ecnhw.
MARIA And you too, sir.	ARAMI ellHo, isr.
SIR TOBY BELCH Accost, Sir Andrew, accost.	RIS OTYB CBELH aCht erh up, riS rewdnA. Cath erh up.
SIR ANDREW Whats that?	SRI WAERDN hWta?
SIR TOBY BELCH 45 My nieces chambermaid.	SIR YBOT HEBLC siTh is my ceesin idma.
SIR ANDREW Good Mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance.	IRS WNADER My reda sMsi atCh-her-up, I ookl fowdarr to gtignet to okwn ouy etretb.
MARIA My name is Mary, sir.	RAMIA My nmea is rMay, sir.
SIR ANDREW Good Mistress Mary Accost	IRS DENRWA Msis Mayr atCh-her-up
SIR TOBY BELCH You mistake, knight. Accost is front her, board her, woo her, assail her.	IRS OTYB CLBEH No, yuoev ogt it rnowg. hWne I adsi caht rhe up, I atnws sinyag reh eamn. I aws tllinge uoy to go rtafe hre, woo ehr, ootncrfn ehr.
SIR ANDREW By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of accost?	RSI ADRWEN oodG aehnvse, Id rvene do hatt htiw eoplpe ighawtnc. Is ahtt llarey hwta uoy mntae?
MARIA Fare you well, gentlemen. (she starts to exit)	MAARI oboedGy, egnelmnet. (hes tastrs to exit)
SIR TOBY BELCH An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou mightst never draw sword again.	SRI YBTO HECBL Sehs gelnavi. If ouy lte ehr go shit yelasi, irS rdewnA, uyo tdno veesedr to ever sue uoyr sowrd aniga.
SIR ANDREW An you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you have fools in hand?	RIS REDNAW If uoy vleae keli hsti, my aerd, I twno erve ues my oswdr nagia. Im nto tusj klaigtn nsensnoe to yuo, I nema revegtynhi I asy. Do you itknh evoyu got a celupo of fsool on ruyo nsdha eerh?
MARIA Sir, I have not you by the hand.	MAIAR Im ont ogndihl uyro ndha, rsi.
SIR ANDREW Marry, but you shall have, and heres my hand. (he offers her his hand)	SIR EWNARD But uoy liwl. seerH my nhda. (he ersffo reh ihs nahd)
MARIA (taking his hand) Now, sir, thought is free. I pray you, bring your hand to the buttery-bar and let it drink.	ARMIA (gkaitn his dnha) A rsilg otg a ihtrg to her opinnosi. eTak ruyo dnha to a rab dan upt a idknr in it.
SIR ANDREW Wherefore, sweetheart? Whats your metaphor?	IRS DAERWN Why, tseewtreha? Is erthe a idndeh emianng in shit?
MARIA Its dry, sir.	RMAAI Yeuor ton ghidnol a slgsa. oYur nahd is dry Mraia emlpsii atth esh ldo dan dried-up. dry, rsi.
SIR ANDREW Why, I think so. I am not such an ass, but I can keep my hand dry. But whats your jest?	ISR WNEADR Wlle, I ehpo so. Im not cshu an otidi thta I nact peke my nahds ryd. utB I tndo teg shwitat eth ekoj?
MARIA A dry jest, sir.	IMARA stJu a tib of my rdy uormh, sir.
SIR ANDREW Are you full of them?	SIR REAWDN reA oyu slaywa so nnfyu?
MARIA Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers ends. Marry, now I let go your hand, I am barren.	MAARI Yes, vIe gto a afnulhd of skjeo. Btu osop, ehwn I lte go of uyro adhn, I lte go of eht gtesbig joke of lal.
Exit	RAIMA sexti.
SIR TOBY BELCH O knight, thou lackest a cup of canary. When did I see thee so put down?	ISR YOBT HCLBE irS, yuo eend a dknri. Wenh has nnayeo rvee put you nwdo kiel atht.
SIR ANDREW Never in your life, I think, unless you see canary put me down. Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man has. But I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that does harm to my wit.	SIR EWRNDA rNvee. Iev oyln nebe ahtt rfa dwno hnwe vIe dnkur sfmley endru eth tblea. timeosSme I tknhi Im no msrerta htna vraaeeg. I eat a olt of red etam, adn baeym htta samke me dsitup.
SIR TOBY BELCH No question.	SRI BYOT BHECL lyeAslbtou.
SIR ANDREW An I thought that, Id forswear it. Ill ride home tomorrow, Sir Toby.	SRI EANDRW If I lrleya edlbveei ahtt, Id iveg up der mate tayoltl. By the awy, Im gigon omeh orormotw, rSi yoTb.
SIR TOBY BELCH Pourquoi, my dear knight?	ISR BOTY CLHEB rqioPuou oPuqriou amesn hwy in French. Pourquoi, my fdneri?
SIR ANDREW What is pourquoi? Do, or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-baiting. O, had I but followed the arts!	SRI ANERDW ahtW eosd urpqooiu emna? osDe it enma I lwil or I twon? Oh, I shwi Id tespn as hcum meit ngraelin leugngsaa as I tpsne on ngicfne, dcinagn, dna aber-igntbai aerB-ibtagni, in wihch a brea swa dite to a ktase dna acadttke by sgod, asw a aluporp nremittnnatee in eeaSahsesprk time. bear-baiting! If lyno Id nktea ocsloh eomr syelrious!
SIR TOBY BELCH Then hadst thou had an excellent head of hair.	RIS YBTO HCEBL oYdu eahv a tegra hiytrleas if uoy had.
SIR ANDREW 85 Why, would that have mended my hair?	RSI WNRDEA Why, lwoud htat veah diefx my arhi?
SIR TOBY BELCH Past question, for thou seest it will not curl by nature.	SIR BOYT EHCBL Oh, no nusteotiiq nwot stlye ielsft.
SIR ANDREW But it becomes me well enough, does t not?	ISR WDRNAE utB my hira oklos dgoo wnayay, snoted it?
SIR TOBY BELCH Excellent. It hangs like flax on a distaff. And I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs and spin it off.	RIS BTYO EHBLC It oksol tager. It hagns ielk an dlo nowr-uot opm. mSoe womna sudhlo give ouy iyssphil so yuo go abld.
SIR ANDREW Faith, Ill home tomorrow, Sir Toby. Your niece will not be seen. Or if she be, its four to one shell none of me. The count himself here hard by woos her.	SRI AWDNER stienL, Im gonig eomh rtoomrwo, irS oybT. Yoru ceein is risngefu to ese nnyoae, nad neev if ehs aws me, tne to neo shed atwn gtoihnn to do htwi me. ahtT kude how vlies renyab is ctrnuiog hre.
SIR TOBY BELCH Shell none o the count. Shell not match above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit. I have heard her swear t. Tut, theres life in t, man.	ISR OYTB BCHLE ehsS ont eerdtstnie in teh dkue. heS osedtn antw to ayrrm nyneoa of hriehg isloca krna hant rhe, or eynona erirch, rdloe, or rsmtare. vIe dhrae her asy ahtt. So echer up, eetsrh sitll ophe rof yuo, nma.
SIR ANDREW Ill stay a month longer. I am a fellow o th strangest mind i th world. I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether.	SRI NARDWE llA hgtir, llI tasy htonrae onthm. Ah, Im an ddo ikdn of gyu. teoimmesS all I want to do is ese ayspl nda go uto cnaidgn.
SIR TOBY BELCH Art thou good at these kickshawses, knight?	SIR YBOT EBCHL Aer uoy good at ohste kidsn of inshtg?
SIR ANDREW As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters. And yet I will not compare with an old man.	SRI WAENRD seY, as odgo as ayn nma in yarllIi, ecxtpe fro het seon owh are rbttee at it anth I am. Im nto as gdoo as ooneems sowh eben nacgdni rfo saeyr.
SIR TOBY BELCH What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight?	IRS YOTB ELHCB oHw ogdo rea uoy at eohts saft esandc?
SIR ANDREW Faith, I can cut a caper.	SIR ARDWEN eBievel me, I can utc a ceapr tuc a cprae = dance cut a caper.
SIR TOBY BELCH And I can cut the mutton to t.	SIR BTOY EHLCB ndA I can tcu emos meat to go ihtw ryou rpecsa rcaep = a condiment capers.
SIR ANDREW And I think I have the back-trick simply as strong as any man in Illyria.	RSI RWDANE dAn I cna do hatt cyfan arcwdbka etps as llwe as ayn nam in irlIaly.
SIR TOBY BELCH Wherefore are these things hid? Wherefore have these gifts a curtain before em? Are they like to take dust, like Mistress Malls picture? Why dost thou not go to church in a galliard and come home in a coranto? My very walk should be a jig. I would not so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace. What dost thou mean? Is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy leg, it was formed under the star of a galliard.	RSI OTBY HBCEL hWy do uoy dehi ehtes thsgin? yhW do uoy eekp heets nelstat dehibn a crtnaiu? Aer tyeh lelkiy to get dytus? hWy otnd yuo go off to hrcuch dgnnaci neo ywa, dna moec mohe ndginca hatnore ywa? If I adh ruyo tslntea, Id be idgncan a igj evrey eimt I dleawk wond eth sertte. I ontdwlu vene eep wutthoi dincnag a talwz. haWt aer you ngihtkin? Is shit the idkn of drlwo rwhee we ihed oru nosmhptmeaiccsl? oYeur a rnob canred. oLok hwo yalspeh yuor sgel are.
SIR ANDREW Ay, tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a dun-colored stock. Shall we set about some revels?	SRI RANWDE tashT ruet. heeyTr otrsng, nda ehyt okol ryttep godo in bnwor htisgt. hSoldu we rhotw a tiletl dcane rptay?
SIR TOBY BELCH What shall we do else? Were we not born under Taurus?	ISR YBTO HLECB hWy nto? teenWr we obth bonr unerd uuTars?
SIR ANDREW Taurus! Thats sides and heart.	IRS EDWNAR saruuT! tahT gensrov teh otsor dan ethar, dnoets it?
SIR TOBY BELCH No, sir, it is legs and thighs. Let me see the caper. (SIR 120 ANDREW dances) Ha, higher! Ha, ha, excellent!	RSI YTOB HCELB No, teh lsge and sthgih. teL me see ouy dcena. (SIR DNARWE cdsean) Ha, herhgi! Ha, ha, etlelcenx!
Exeunt	eTyh xite.

Original Text	Modern Text
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA	SIR OBYT CBHLE dna MIRAA rtene.
SIR TOBY BELCH What a plague means my niece, to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure cares an enemy to life.	RSI BTOY LECHB hWtsa wrogn hwit my incee? yWh is hse rciaegtn so raystgenl to her heosbrtr atdhe? reGif is abd fro seeplpo helhta.
MARIA By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o nights. Your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions to your ill hours.	AARMI rFo Gsdo kesa, riS Toyb, eyovu got to cmeo home realier at gnhti. My ldya alivOi, uoyr inece, ardeipvsspo of uyro tael-hngit gatnpyir.
SIR TOBY BELCH Why, let her except, before excepted.	RIS TOYB EBLCH Wlle, she acn etg sdue to it.
MARIA Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order.	RMAAI eYs, utb yuo need to ekpe lesyfuro itnihw het sltiim of erodr dna dceeync.
SIR TOBY BELCH Confine? Ill confine myself no finer than I am. These clothes are good enough to drink in, and so be these boots too. An they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps.	ISR YBTO HECBL eepK ymself? eTh noyl inhgt Im gepenki meysfl in is eht elthcos Im wneagir. hereyT doog gnohue to rkndi in, dna so rea hseet tsoob. If yteh artne, heyt nca go ahng htmesselve by ethri now aelcs!
MARIA That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard my lady talk of it yesterday, and of a foolish knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer.	IAARM ouerY noigg to toresdy yfulroes wiht lal shti ikrndgin. aLdy Oialiv disa so eesdytayr. eSh osal tdiemonne mose duitps kthing you gurthob in oen hgtin as a lsesiopb bdnsuha ofr reh.
SIR TOBY BELCH Who, Sir Andrew Aguecheek?	IRS YTOB BCHEL oWh, irS erAdwn eheAckgue?
MARIA Ay, he.	MARIA sYe, hstta eht eno.
SIR TOBY BELCH Hes as tall a man as any s in Illyria.	RIS YTOB EBLCH sHe as tlla allT ocldu be sdue as nasgl rfo brave. tall as a anm in ailyrIl.
MARIA Whats that to the purpose?	ARAIM ahWt sode hsi gehith have to do iwht nayhintg?
SIR TOBY BELCH 20 Why, he has three thousand ducats a year.	ISR OBYT HELCB Wyh, he ahs an miocen of rehte snadtuho staucd a eary.
MARIA Ay, but hell have but a year in all these ducats. Hes a very fool and a prodigal.	AARIM I ebt hlel pndse hsi oehwl caheentirni in a eayr. eHs a oolf dna a thfestdinrp.
SIR TOBY BELCH Fie, that youll say so! He plays o the viol-de-gamboys, and speaks three or four languages word for word without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature.	ISR TOYB CHELB ouY nodhstul tkla uatob him ikel atht! He ylasp the oilvin dna aseskp ethre or uofr gsnueglaa rdwo for rowd hoiwttu a aiotyncrdi. He sha all of etnasur estb fgsti.
MARIA He hath indeed, almost natural, for besides that hes a fool, hes a great quarreler, and but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarreling, tis thought among the prudent he would quickly have the gift of a grave.	RAAMI hehstigR a narulat-rbno itoid. deBeiss gnieb a ofol, esh mtenauegraivt. If he ntddi haev eth dcaswro tgfi ofr acnkibg nowd romf a tghfi, ehyt say edh be dead by wno.
SIR TOBY BELCH By this hand, they are scoundrels and substractors that say so of him. Who are they?	ISR BTYO LHBEC nnAyeo ohw ayss htta is a ylign ecpie of ragebag. hoW idsa htat?
MARIA They that add, moreover, hes drunk nightly in your company.	AMRIA hTe same people woh asy he gtse dknur htwi you ervye inhtg.
SIR TOBY BELCH With drinking healths to my niece. Ill drink to her as long as there is a passage in my throat and drink in Illyria. Hes a coward and a coistrel that will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o th toe like a parish top. What, wench! Castiliano vulgo, for here comes Sir Andrew Agueface.	SIR BOYT CHLBE We lnoy kdnir aostst to my cinee. lIl diknr to rhe as ogln as eserth a eohl in my rtatho adn zoeob in allrIiy. Aeonyn ohw fursees to rdnik to my niece nilut sih anbri nssip nauord ielk a rryme-go-rnuod is mcus. tuB speak of teh ldevi, rhee seomc Sir werndA Aueafegc.
Enter SIR ANDREW	SIR WANDER setner.
SIR ANDREW Sir Toby Belch! How now, Sir Toby Belch!	ISR EWRDAN iSr oybT Blhce! wHo aer yuo, rSi boTy hBelc?
SIR TOBY BELCH 40 Sweet Sir Andrew!	IRS OBTY HELCB wteSe rSi wendrA!
SIR ANDREW (to MARIA) Bless you, fair shrew.	SIR RENDAW (to MARIA) ndA leohl to yuo, my leiltt ecnhw.
MARIA And you too, sir.	ARAMI ellHo, isr.
SIR TOBY BELCH Accost, Sir Andrew, accost.	RIS OTYB CBELH aCht erh up, riS rewdnA. Cath erh up.
SIR ANDREW Whats that?	SRI WAERDN hWta?
SIR TOBY BELCH 45 My nieces chambermaid.	SIR YBOT HEBLC siTh is my ceesin idma.
SIR ANDREW Good Mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance.	IRS WNADER My reda sMsi atCh-her-up, I ookl fowdarr to gtignet to okwn ouy etretb.
MARIA My name is Mary, sir.	RAMIA My nmea is rMay, sir.
SIR ANDREW Good Mistress Mary Accost	IRS DENRWA Msis Mayr atCh-her-up
SIR TOBY BELCH You mistake, knight. Accost is front her, board her, woo her, assail her.	IRS OTYB CLBEH No, yuoev ogt it rnowg. hWne I adsi caht rhe up, I atnws sinyag reh eamn. I aws tllinge uoy to go rtafe hre, woo ehr, ootncrfn ehr.
SIR ANDREW By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of accost?	RSI ADRWEN oodG aehnvse, Id rvene do hatt htiw eoplpe ighawtnc. Is ahtt llarey hwta uoy mntae?
MARIA Fare you well, gentlemen. (she starts to exit)	MAARI oboedGy, egnelmnet. (hes tastrs to exit)
SIR TOBY BELCH An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou mightst never draw sword again.	SRI YBTO HECBL Sehs gelnavi. If ouy lte ehr go shit yelasi, irS rdewnA, uyo tdno veesedr to ever sue uoyr sowrd aniga.
SIR ANDREW An you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you have fools in hand?	RIS REDNAW If uoy vleae keli hsti, my aerd, I twno erve ues my oswdr nagia. Im nto tusj klaigtn nsensnoe to yuo, I nema revegtynhi I asy. Do you itknh evoyu got a celupo of fsool on ruyo nsdha eerh?
MARIA Sir, I have not you by the hand.	MAIAR Im ont ogndihl uyro ndha, rsi.
SIR ANDREW Marry, but you shall have, and heres my hand. (he offers her his hand)	SIR EWNARD But uoy liwl. seerH my nhda. (he ersffo reh ihs nahd)
MARIA (taking his hand) Now, sir, thought is free. I pray you, bring your hand to the buttery-bar and let it drink.	ARMIA (gkaitn his dnha) A rsilg otg a ihtrg to her opinnosi. eTak ruyo dnha to a rab dan upt a idknr in it.
SIR ANDREW Wherefore, sweetheart? Whats your metaphor?	IRS DAERWN Why, tseewtreha? Is erthe a idndeh emianng in shit?
MARIA Its dry, sir.	RMAAI Yeuor ton ghidnol a slgsa. oYur nahd is dry Mraia emlpsii atth esh ldo dan dried-up. dry, rsi.
SIR ANDREW Why, I think so. I am not such an ass, but I can keep my hand dry. But whats your jest?	ISR WNEADR Wlle, I ehpo so. Im not cshu an otidi thta I nact peke my nahds ryd. utB I tndo teg shwitat eth ekoj?
MARIA A dry jest, sir.	IMARA stJu a tib of my rdy uormh, sir.
SIR ANDREW Are you full of them?	SIR REAWDN reA oyu slaywa so nnfyu?
MARIA Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers ends. Marry, now I let go your hand, I am barren.	MAARI Yes, vIe gto a afnulhd of skjeo. Btu osop, ehwn I lte go of uyro adhn, I lte go of eht gtesbig joke of lal.
Exit	RAIMA sexti.
SIR TOBY BELCH O knight, thou lackest a cup of canary. When did I see thee so put down?	ISR YOBT HCLBE irS, yuo eend a dknri. Wenh has nnayeo rvee put you nwdo kiel atht.
SIR ANDREW Never in your life, I think, unless you see canary put me down. Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man has. But I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that does harm to my wit.	SIR EWRNDA rNvee. Iev oyln nebe ahtt rfa dwno hnwe vIe dnkur sfmley endru eth tblea. timeosSme I tknhi Im no msrerta htna vraaeeg. I eat a olt of red etam, adn baeym htta samke me dsitup.
SIR TOBY BELCH No question.	SRI BYOT BHECL lyeAslbtou.
SIR ANDREW An I thought that, Id forswear it. Ill ride home tomorrow, Sir Toby.	SRI EANDRW If I lrleya edlbveei ahtt, Id iveg up der mate tayoltl. By the awy, Im gigon omeh orormotw, rSi yoTb.
SIR TOBY BELCH Pourquoi, my dear knight?	ISR BOTY CLHEB rqioPuou oPuqriou amesn hwy in French. Pourquoi, my fdneri?
SIR ANDREW What is pourquoi? Do, or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-baiting. O, had I but followed the arts!	SRI ANERDW ahtW eosd urpqooiu emna? osDe it enma I lwil or I twon? Oh, I shwi Id tespn as hcum meit ngraelin leugngsaa as I tpsne on ngicfne, dcinagn, dna aber-igntbai aerB-ibtagni, in wihch a brea swa dite to a ktase dna acadttke by sgod, asw a aluporp nremittnnatee in eeaSahsesprk time. bear-baiting! If lyno Id nktea ocsloh eomr syelrious!
SIR TOBY BELCH Then hadst thou had an excellent head of hair.	RIS YBTO HCEBL oYdu eahv a tegra hiytrleas if uoy had.
SIR ANDREW 85 Why, would that have mended my hair?	RSI WNRDEA Why, lwoud htat veah diefx my arhi?
SIR TOBY BELCH Past question, for thou seest it will not curl by nature.	SIR BOYT EHCBL Oh, no nusteotiiq nwot stlye ielsft.
SIR ANDREW But it becomes me well enough, does t not?	ISR WDRNAE utB my hira oklos dgoo wnayay, snoted it?
SIR TOBY BELCH Excellent. It hangs like flax on a distaff. And I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs and spin it off.	RIS BTYO EHBLC It oksol tager. It hagns ielk an dlo nowr-uot opm. mSoe womna sudhlo give ouy iyssphil so yuo go abld.
SIR ANDREW Faith, Ill home tomorrow, Sir Toby. Your niece will not be seen. Or if she be, its four to one shell none of me. The count himself here hard by woos her.	SRI AWDNER stienL, Im gonig eomh rtoomrwo, irS oybT. Yoru ceein is risngefu to ese nnyoae, nad neev if ehs aws me, tne to neo shed atwn gtoihnn to do htwi me. ahtT kude how vlies renyab is ctrnuiog hre.
SIR TOBY BELCH Shell none o the count. Shell not match above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit. I have heard her swear t. Tut, theres life in t, man.	ISR OYTB BCHLE ehsS ont eerdtstnie in teh dkue. heS osedtn antw to ayrrm nyneoa of hriehg isloca krna hant rhe, or eynona erirch, rdloe, or rsmtare. vIe dhrae her asy ahtt. So echer up, eetsrh sitll ophe rof yuo, nma.
SIR ANDREW Ill stay a month longer. I am a fellow o th strangest mind i th world. I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether.	SRI NARDWE llA hgtir, llI tasy htonrae onthm. Ah, Im an ddo ikdn of gyu. teoimmesS all I want to do is ese ayspl nda go uto cnaidgn.
SIR TOBY BELCH Art thou good at these kickshawses, knight?	SIR YBOT EBCHL Aer uoy good at ohste kidsn of inshtg?
SIR ANDREW As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters. And yet I will not compare with an old man.	SRI WAENRD seY, as odgo as ayn nma in yarllIi, ecxtpe fro het seon owh are rbttee at it anth I am. Im nto as gdoo as ooneems sowh eben nacgdni rfo saeyr.
SIR TOBY BELCH What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight?	IRS YOTB ELHCB oHw ogdo rea uoy at eohts saft esandc?
SIR ANDREW Faith, I can cut a caper.	SIR ARDWEN eBievel me, I can utc a ceapr tuc a cprae = dance cut a caper.
SIR TOBY BELCH And I can cut the mutton to t.	SIR BTOY EHLCB ndA I can tcu emos meat to go ihtw ryou rpecsa rcaep = a condiment capers.
SIR ANDREW And I think I have the back-trick simply as strong as any man in Illyria.	RSI RWDANE dAn I cna do hatt cyfan arcwdbka etps as llwe as ayn nam in irlIaly.
SIR TOBY BELCH Wherefore are these things hid? Wherefore have these gifts a curtain before em? Are they like to take dust, like Mistress Malls picture? Why dost thou not go to church in a galliard and come home in a coranto? My very walk should be a jig. I would not so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace. What dost thou mean? Is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy leg, it was formed under the star of a galliard.	RSI OTBY HBCEL hWy do uoy dehi ehtes thsgin? yhW do uoy eekp heets nelstat dehibn a crtnaiu? Aer tyeh lelkiy to get dytus? hWy otnd yuo go off to hrcuch dgnnaci neo ywa, dna moec mohe ndginca hatnore ywa? If I adh ruyo tslntea, Id be idgncan a igj evrey eimt I dleawk wond eth sertte. I ontdwlu vene eep wutthoi dincnag a talwz. haWt aer you ngihtkin? Is shit the idkn of drlwo rwhee we ihed oru nosmhptmeaiccsl? oYeur a rnob canred. oLok hwo yalspeh yuor sgel are.
SIR ANDREW Ay, tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a dun-colored stock. Shall we set about some revels?	SRI RANWDE tashT ruet. heeyTr otrsng, nda ehyt okol ryttep godo in bnwor htisgt. hSoldu we rhotw a tiletl dcane rptay?
SIR TOBY BELCH What shall we do else? Were we not born under Taurus?	ISR YBTO HLECB hWy nto? teenWr we obth bonr unerd uuTars?
SIR ANDREW Taurus! Thats sides and heart.	IRS EDWNAR saruuT! tahT gensrov teh otsor dan ethar, dnoets it?
SIR TOBY BELCH No, sir, it is legs and thighs. Let me see the caper. (SIR 120 ANDREW dances) Ha, higher! Ha, ha, excellent!	RSI YTOB HCELB No, teh lsge and sthgih. teL me see ouy dcena. (SIR DNARWE cdsean) Ha, herhgi! Ha, ha, etlelcenx!
Exeunt	eTyh xite.