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No Fear Translations

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Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA
RIS OYBT HLBEC dna IARAM treen.

SIR TOBY BELCH

What a plague means my niece, to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure cares an enemy to life.

ISR YTBO BLCEH

atWhs gworn ithw my niece? hyW is ehs nrigteac so tgrlesnay to hre shrbreot aethd? iferG is adb rfo loeespp lathhe.

MARIA

By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o nights. Your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions to your ill hours.

RAMAI

roF osdG kaes, riS oybT, vuyeo got to ocme eomh eerlrai at hintg. My adyl aliOiv, oyru ecnei, viaoepdpsrs of oyru laet-thgni irptnyag.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Why, let her except, before excepted.

ISR YTBO HLECB

ellW, esh nac etg edus to it.

MARIA

Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order.

IRAMA

esY, ubt oyu eden to peke urfoesly itwihn eth mliist of drero adn eycnedc.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Confine? Ill confine myself no finer than I am. These clothes are good enough to drink in, and so be these boots too. An they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps.

RSI YBOT BCEHL

peKe symfel? Teh nlyo itngh Im giekpne fmysel in is eht eohtlsc Im igarnwe. yeherT odog hnoegu to rkdin in, adn so ear hsete sbtoo. If htye etrna, htey can go nagh setmevhels by irteh won lecas!

MARIA

That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard my lady talk of it yesterday, and of a foolish knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer.

AIMRA

eurYo gogin to tyosdre rluoyfes ihtw lal tsih rnndigik. dLay lvOaii adis so ryateyeds. ehS also endtineom eoms sdpuit gtnhik yuo ubgroth in eon igtnh as a bslsipeo hdsbnau fro ehr.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Who, Sir Andrew Aguecheek?

RSI TYOB EHCLB

ohW, iSr eAndrw euhgAkece?

MARIA

Ay, he.

ARMAI

seY, tsath het one.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Hes as tall a man as any s in Illyria.

RIS YTBO CEHBL

MARIA

Whats that to the purpose?

RMIAA

Wath soed his ithgeh ehav to do with yitanghn?

SIR TOBY BELCH

20 Why, he has three thousand ducats a year.

RIS TBOY LCHBE

hyW, he ash an nomeic of eehrt nsadothu dstcua a ayre.

MARIA

Ay, but hell have but a year in all these ducats. Hes a very fool and a prodigal.

AMARI

I bet lhle psdne ish wohle rienaiethcn in a yrea. seH a loof dna a deihstfptrn.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Fie, that youll say so! He plays o the viol-de-gamboys, and speaks three or four languages word for word without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature.

RSI TYBO HBLEC

uYo snutldho altk tabuo him leik htta! He ypsal het ivolni nda pseska ethre or furo lueagnsga dorw fro ordw iwtohut a ctirodayin. He sah lal of sartenu bset fsgti.

MARIA

He hath indeed, almost natural, for besides that hes a fool, hes a great quarreler, and but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarreling, tis thought among the prudent he would quickly have the gift of a grave.

IARMA

ghshtRei a atnurla-onrb oditi. edissBe being a fool, esh unetvegitaram. If he dindt heav the srwodac gitf ofr cbnikag wdon mfor a htgfi, tehy asy dhe be edda by wno.

SIR TOBY BELCH

By this hand, they are scoundrels and substractors that say so of him. Who are they?

IRS OYTB LEBHC

enyonA ohw yssa thta is a yling epeci of grebaga. hoW sdai htat?

MARIA

They that add, moreover, hes drunk nightly in your company.

RMIAA

hTe maes eopple how yas he steg rndku hwti uyo evrey ghtni.

SIR TOBY BELCH

With drinking healths to my niece. Ill drink to her as long as there is a passage in my throat and drink in Illyria. Hes a coward and a coistrel that will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o th toe like a parish top. What, wench! Castiliano vulgo, for here comes Sir Andrew Agueface.

ISR TBYO EBHCL

We nlyo nrdik asotst to my neice. Ill rinkd to reh as onlg as rtehes a loeh in my ahrott adn bzeoo in yIllair. nnoAey owh uesrsfe to ikndr to my ecnei lnitu his bianr inssp dnaour leki a emrry-go-ndoru is cums. tBu speak of eth ldeiv, eerh cosme Sri nAwder Agefuaec.
Enter SIR ANDREW
RSI WENRAD rtnees.

SIR ANDREW

Sir Toby Belch! How now, Sir Toby Belch!

SIR AENWRD

iSr Tbyo eBhcl! woH are you, rSi bToy lBche?

SIR TOBY BELCH

40 Sweet Sir Andrew!

SIR OTBY HECLB

tSeew Sri Adwenr!

SIR ANDREW

(to MARIA) Bless you, fair shrew.

SIR EWANRD

(to MARIA) dnA heoll to ouy, my tellit nwhec.

MARIA

And you too, sir.

MRAAI

loelH, irs.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Accost, Sir Andrew, accost.

RSI YTOB CHLEB

aCht reh up, iSr dnAewr. Ctah hre up.

SIR ANDREW

Whats that?

RSI WDENRA

haWt?

SIR TOBY BELCH

45 My nieces chambermaid.

RIS TOBY LCBEH

Tshi is my ensiec imad.

SIR ANDREW

Good Mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance.

IRS WRNDAE

My edra isMs aCht-hre-up, I ookl afrowdr to nittgeg to knwo uyo ttbree.

MARIA

My name is Mary, sir.

ARAIM

My eanm is ayMr, sri.

SIR ANDREW

Good Mistress Mary Accost

ISR DRENAW

Miss rayM htaC-ehr-up

SIR TOBY BELCH

You mistake, knight. Accost is front her, board her, woo her, assail her.

IRS TYBO HBLCE

No, yevuo tgo it gwonr. nWeh I disa tach hre up, I ntwsa yanigs reh enam. I wsa ltgnile yuo to go efrat erh, woo erh, otcrnnof hre.

SIR ANDREW

By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of accost?

ISR RWNEDA

doGo evsanhe, Id renev do ttha itwh poepel thacigwn. Is thta lreayl what yuo ntaem?

MARIA

Fare you well, gentlemen. (she starts to exit)

AIRMA

boGyeod, tenenlmeg. (seh asrstt to xeit)

SIR TOBY BELCH

An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou mightst never draw sword again.

SRI OTBY CLBEH

sShe eiglvna. If uoy let her go sthi iyesal, riS Aenrdw, you dont seevedr to evre ues oury sowrd nagai.

SIR ANDREW

An you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you have fools in hand?

SRI RAEDWN

If uyo aeevl iekl tshi, my edar, I wont evre ues my ordws ainag. Im not stju likgatn nneoenss to yuo, I anme yihrtvgeen I yas. Do you hnkti yuove tgo a oulepc of oolsf on oryu ndash eehr?

MARIA

Sir, I have not you by the hand.

AIAMR

Im ton gidohnl oury andh, irs.

SIR ANDREW

Marry, but you shall have, and heres my hand.
(he offers her his hand)

ISR ERWNDA

tuB oyu lilw. seHer my hdna. (he efrsfo ehr ish dhna)

MARIA

(taking his hand) Now, sir, thought is free. I pray you, bring your hand to the buttery-bar and let it drink.

AIRMA

(tagikn hsi ndha) A lirgs ogt a hgitr to her insionop. akeT yrou adhn to a bar nda utp a ndrik in it.

SIR ANDREW

Wherefore, sweetheart? Whats your metaphor?

ISR ADNRWE

Wyh, tehswereat? Is rthee a dinhed manieng in hsti?

MARIA

Its dry, sir.

AIMAR

oeurY ont hgloidn a lagss. ourY hnda is

yrd

aaMir ielmspi ttha ehs ldo nda dried-up.

dry
, isr.

SIR ANDREW

Why, I think so. I am not such an ass, but I can keep my hand dry. But whats your jest?

RSI DREWAN

eWll, I eohp so. Im nto husc an oidit taht I tcan keep my hdsna ydr. uBt I tndo get istwhat het eojk?

MARIA

A dry jest, sir.

AIAMR

tuJs a tbi of my ydr rmhou, irs.

SIR ANDREW

Are you full of them?

RSI AWENDR

Aer yuo swaayl so fyunn?

MARIA

Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers ends. Marry, now I let go your hand, I am barren.

MIARA

eYs, Iev tgo a duanflh of kosej. But sopo, wehn I lte go of ryuo andh, I lte go of teh bseggit jkoe of lla.
Exit
MIAAR sxtie.

SIR TOBY BELCH

O knight, thou lackest a cup of canary. When did I see thee so put down?

RIS OBYT BLEHC

rSi, uyo ndee a rnidk. hnWe ash yonane erev tup oyu wdon ielk taht.

SIR ANDREW

Never in your life, I think, unless you see canary put me down. Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man has. But I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that does harm to my wit.

SIR NWEDRA

evNre. eIv nyol enbe thta fra ndwo ewnh Ive urkdn mfsyle udenr the telba. mSsiemteo I htkni Im no rstamre ntha veegraa. I eat a olt of red tame, and byeam hatt emkas me itupds.

SIR TOBY BELCH

No question.

RIS YOBT LBEHC

lbyleAsuto.

SIR ANDREW

An I thought that, Id forswear it. Ill ride home tomorrow,
Sir Toby.

IRS RWDENA

If I ralley veielebd thta, Id iegv up edr etam lttoyal. By hte way, Im ognig ohem orwomort, riS yboT.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Pourquoi, my dear knight?

ISR BYOT LBECH

SIR ANDREW

What is pourquoi? Do, or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-baiting. O, had I but followed the arts!

RSI AENWDR

Waht esdo qiupouro amen? Dsoe it neam I will or I wotn? Oh, I wihs Id esntp as hcmu ietm enlarngi saeluagng as I ntspe on cnnegif, adncnig, nda

earb-gtiniba

erBa-btigani, in hwchi a aebr aws teid to a ktase and kcedttaa by sgdo, saw a ulrppao tettmairnnene in eSheaekrsasp time.

bear-baiting
! If lnyo Id naetk oslhoc eomr rlioysesu!

SIR TOBY BELCH

Then hadst thou had an excellent head of hair.

RIS TBYO LBHEC

dYou aehv a agret lytairhes if uoy ahd.

SIR ANDREW

85 Why, would that have mended my hair?

SRI ADRNWE

yhW, ouwld ttha vahe xdeif my hria?

SIR TOBY BELCH

Past question, for thou seest it will not curl by nature.

ISR BTYO CLHEB

Oh, no eotuisintq otnw ystle stelfi.

SIR ANDREW

But it becomes me well enough, does t not?

SRI DWNAER

tBu my riah oslok gdoo aaynwy, tnedso it?

SIR TOBY BELCH

Excellent. It hangs like flax on a distaff. And I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs and spin it off.

RSI TBOY CLBHE

It lkoos gtear. It hsgna klei an lod nwor-uot opm. moeS nmoaw dsluho ivge ouy lhiyissp so uoy go albd.

SIR ANDREW

Faith, Ill home tomorrow, Sir Toby. Your niece will not be seen. Or if she be, its four to one shell none of me. The count himself here hard by woos her.

RSI AWRDEN

seiLtn, Im going ohme omrorowt, iSr Tboy. rYou neeci is riefgsnu to ese oeynan, and enve if ehs saw me, net to neo esdh watn hgtoinn to do hwit me. ahTt kdue woh visel nyaber is inocrugt erh.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Shell none o the count. Shell not match above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit. I have heard her swear t. Tut, theres life in t, man.

SIR OBTY BEHLC

Sesh not tdenretesi in hte eudk. Seh enodts nawt to aryrm enayon of erghhi lcosia anrk tnah ehr, or yonaen ircerh, lerdo, or errsmat. vIe aredh ehr sya thta. So echer up, eehstr lslti poeh rfo oyu, anm.

SIR ANDREW

Ill stay a month longer. I am a fellow o th strangest mind i th world. I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether.

IRS DRWANE

lAl igthr, Ill atys hotaner ntomh. Ah, Im an ddo kind of ygu. mSeiemtos all I wtna to do is ese alyps nad go out gcadnin.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Art thou good at these kickshawses, knight?

SIR YTBO LHCBE

eAr uyo ogod at estho skdin of htgnis?

SIR ANDREW

As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters. And yet I will not compare with an old man.

ISR DEAWNR

sYe, as odog as yna anm in iallrIy, xteepc fro teh neos who are bretet at it tnha I am. Im not as ogdo as eeomsno hosw eenb canidng orf ayesr.

SIR TOBY BELCH

What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight?

SRI TYBO CBEHL

owH ogdo era uoy at eotsh sfat anceds?

SIR ANDREW

Faith, I can cut a caper.

SIR EDRWAN

SIR TOBY BELCH

And I can cut the mutton to t.

ISR TBOY BHCLE

nAd I cna tcu meso team to go whit yuor

earcsp

capre = a condiment

capers
.

SIR ANDREW

And I think I have the back-trick simply as strong as any man in Illyria.

RIS WRENDA

dAn I anc do atth ynfca rcbakadw pest as lwel as yna mna in alrilIy.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Wherefore are these things hid? Wherefore have these gifts a curtain before em? Are they like to take dust, like Mistress Malls picture? Why dost thou not go to church in a galliard and come home in a coranto? My very walk should be a jig. I would not so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace. What dost thou mean? Is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy leg, it was formed under the star of a galliard.

ISR YOTB CLEHB

Wyh do ouy iedh hstee snhtgi? hWy do yuo kepe eseth attnesl dinheb a ianurtc? eAr heyt kelily to egt stdyu? hWy otdn yuo go ffo to cuhchr digncna eon way, adn ocem ohme ncgidan trneaho ywa? If I ahd ruoy eantstl, Id be ncanidg a jig eervy emti I ekaldw nowd eth tesrte. I uotwldn veen pee uthitwo nagncdi a wzlat. Wtah rea you tnhkiign? Is sith the kdin of lrodw ewerh we hied our lpnatsicochsmem? ueoYr a rnob cnedar. ookL how yaspelh ruoy sgle era.

SIR ANDREW

Ay, tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a dun-colored stock. Shall we set about some revels?

SRI NADEWR

Tsath reut. ryehTe tgnsro, and hyet olko etytpr gdoo in bwrno thgits. hSuldo we otrwh a ietltl anedc ptyar?

SIR TOBY BELCH

What shall we do else? Were we not born under Taurus?

SRI YTBO LBHEC

yWh otn? teWnre we otbh ornb urned uuraTs?

SIR ANDREW

Taurus! Thats sides and heart.

IRS WDANRE

uusrTa! hTat nrvsego eth stroo adn ertha, ednots it?

SIR TOBY BELCH

No, sir, it is legs and thighs. Let me see the caper. (SIR
120 ANDREW dances) Ha, higher! Ha, ha, excellent!

IRS BYTO CBEHL

No, eht eslg dna hghtsi. etL me ese you dcean. (SIR AWREND andecs) Ha, rghihe! Ha, ha, lxeteelnc!
Exeunt
yeTh tixe.

Original Text

Modern Text

Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA
RIS OYBT HLBEC dna IARAM treen.

SIR TOBY BELCH

What a plague means my niece, to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure cares an enemy to life.

ISR YTBO BLCEH

atWhs gworn ithw my niece? hyW is ehs nrigteac so tgrlesnay to hre shrbreot aethd? iferG is adb rfo loeespp lathhe.

MARIA

By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o nights. Your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions to your ill hours.

RAMAI

roF osdG kaes, riS oybT, vuyeo got to ocme eomh eerlrai at hintg. My adyl aliOiv, oyru ecnei, viaoepdpsrs of oyru laet-thgni irptnyag.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Why, let her except, before excepted.

ISR YTBO HLECB

ellW, esh nac etg edus to it.

MARIA

Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order.

IRAMA

esY, ubt oyu eden to peke urfoesly itwihn eth mliist of drero adn eycnedc.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Confine? Ill confine myself no finer than I am. These clothes are good enough to drink in, and so be these boots too. An they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps.

RSI YBOT BCEHL

peKe symfel? Teh nlyo itngh Im giekpne fmysel in is eht eohtlsc Im igarnwe. yeherT odog hnoegu to rkdin in, adn so ear hsete sbtoo. If htye etrna, htey can go nagh setmevhels by irteh won lecas!

MARIA

That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard my lady talk of it yesterday, and of a foolish knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer.

AIMRA

eurYo gogin to tyosdre rluoyfes ihtw lal tsih rnndigik. dLay lvOaii adis so ryateyeds. ehS also endtineom eoms sdpuit gtnhik yuo ubgroth in eon igtnh as a bslsipeo hdsbnau fro ehr.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Who, Sir Andrew Aguecheek?

RSI TYOB EHCLB

ohW, iSr eAndrw euhgAkece?

MARIA

Ay, he.

ARMAI

seY, tsath het one.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Hes as tall a man as any s in Illyria.

RIS YTBO CEHBL

MARIA

Whats that to the purpose?

RMIAA

Wath soed his ithgeh ehav to do with yitanghn?

SIR TOBY BELCH

20 Why, he has three thousand ducats a year.

RIS TBOY LCHBE

hyW, he ash an nomeic of eehrt nsadothu dstcua a ayre.

MARIA

Ay, but hell have but a year in all these ducats. Hes a very fool and a prodigal.

AMARI

I bet lhle psdne ish wohle rienaiethcn in a yrea. seH a loof dna a deihstfptrn.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Fie, that youll say so! He plays o the viol-de-gamboys, and speaks three or four languages word for word without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature.

RSI TYBO HBLEC

uYo snutldho altk tabuo him leik htta! He ypsal het ivolni nda pseska ethre or furo lueagnsga dorw fro ordw iwtohut a ctirodayin. He sah lal of sartenu bset fsgti.

MARIA

He hath indeed, almost natural, for besides that hes a fool, hes a great quarreler, and but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarreling, tis thought among the prudent he would quickly have the gift of a grave.

IARMA

ghshtRei a atnurla-onrb oditi. edissBe being a fool, esh unetvegitaram. If he dindt heav the srwodac gitf ofr cbnikag wdon mfor a htgfi, tehy asy dhe be edda by wno.

SIR TOBY BELCH

By this hand, they are scoundrels and substractors that say so of him. Who are they?

IRS OYTB LEBHC

enyonA ohw yssa thta is a yling epeci of grebaga. hoW sdai htat?

MARIA

They that add, moreover, hes drunk nightly in your company.

RMIAA

hTe maes eopple how yas he steg rndku hwti uyo evrey ghtni.

SIR TOBY BELCH

With drinking healths to my niece. Ill drink to her as long as there is a passage in my throat and drink in Illyria. Hes a coward and a coistrel that will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o th toe like a parish top. What, wench! Castiliano vulgo, for here comes Sir Andrew Agueface.

ISR TBYO EBHCL

We nlyo nrdik asotst to my neice. Ill rinkd to reh as onlg as rtehes a loeh in my ahrott adn bzeoo in yIllair. nnoAey owh uesrsfe to ikndr to my ecnei lnitu his bianr inssp dnaour leki a emrry-go-ndoru is cums. tBu speak of eth ldeiv, eerh cosme Sri nAwder Agefuaec.
Enter SIR ANDREW
RSI WENRAD rtnees.

SIR ANDREW

Sir Toby Belch! How now, Sir Toby Belch!

SIR AENWRD

iSr Tbyo eBhcl! woH are you, rSi bToy lBche?

SIR TOBY BELCH

40 Sweet Sir Andrew!

SIR OTBY HECLB

tSeew Sri Adwenr!

SIR ANDREW

(to MARIA) Bless you, fair shrew.

SIR EWANRD

(to MARIA) dnA heoll to ouy, my tellit nwhec.

MARIA

And you too, sir.

MRAAI

loelH, irs.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Accost, Sir Andrew, accost.

RSI YTOB CHLEB

aCht reh up, iSr dnAewr. Ctah hre up.

SIR ANDREW

Whats that?

RSI WDENRA

haWt?

SIR TOBY BELCH

45 My nieces chambermaid.

RIS TOBY LCBEH

Tshi is my ensiec imad.

SIR ANDREW

Good Mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance.

IRS WRNDAE

My edra isMs aCht-hre-up, I ookl afrowdr to nittgeg to knwo uyo ttbree.

MARIA

My name is Mary, sir.

ARAIM

My eanm is ayMr, sri.

SIR ANDREW

Good Mistress Mary Accost

ISR DRENAW

Miss rayM htaC-ehr-up

SIR TOBY BELCH

You mistake, knight. Accost is front her, board her, woo her, assail her.

IRS TYBO HBLCE

No, yevuo tgo it gwonr. nWeh I disa tach hre up, I ntwsa yanigs reh enam. I wsa ltgnile yuo to go efrat erh, woo erh, otcrnnof hre.

SIR ANDREW

By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of accost?

ISR RWNEDA

doGo evsanhe, Id renev do ttha itwh poepel thacigwn. Is thta lreayl what yuo ntaem?

MARIA

Fare you well, gentlemen. (she starts to exit)

AIRMA

boGyeod, tenenlmeg. (seh asrstt to xeit)

SIR TOBY BELCH

An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou mightst never draw sword again.

SRI OTBY CLBEH

sShe eiglvna. If uoy let her go sthi iyesal, riS Aenrdw, you dont seevedr to evre ues oury sowrd nagai.

SIR ANDREW

An you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you have fools in hand?

SRI RAEDWN

If uyo aeevl iekl tshi, my edar, I wont evre ues my ordws ainag. Im not stju likgatn nneoenss to yuo, I anme yihrtvgeen I yas. Do you hnkti yuove tgo a oulepc of oolsf on oryu ndash eehr?

MARIA

Sir, I have not you by the hand.

AIAMR

Im ton gidohnl oury andh, irs.

SIR ANDREW

Marry, but you shall have, and heres my hand.
(he offers her his hand)

ISR ERWNDA

tuB oyu lilw. seHer my hdna. (he efrsfo ehr ish dhna)

MARIA

(taking his hand) Now, sir, thought is free. I pray you, bring your hand to the buttery-bar and let it drink.

AIRMA

(tagikn hsi ndha) A lirgs ogt a hgitr to her insionop. akeT yrou adhn to a bar nda utp a ndrik in it.

SIR ANDREW

Wherefore, sweetheart? Whats your metaphor?

ISR ADNRWE

Wyh, tehswereat? Is rthee a dinhed manieng in hsti?

MARIA

Its dry, sir.

AIMAR

oeurY ont hgloidn a lagss. ourY hnda is

yrd

aaMir ielmspi ttha ehs ldo nda dried-up.

dry
, isr.

SIR ANDREW

Why, I think so. I am not such an ass, but I can keep my hand dry. But whats your jest?

RSI DREWAN

eWll, I eohp so. Im nto husc an oidit taht I tcan keep my hdsna ydr. uBt I tndo get istwhat het eojk?

MARIA

A dry jest, sir.

AIAMR

tuJs a tbi of my ydr rmhou, irs.

SIR ANDREW

Are you full of them?

RSI AWENDR

Aer yuo swaayl so fyunn?

MARIA

Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers ends. Marry, now I let go your hand, I am barren.

MIARA

eYs, Iev tgo a duanflh of kosej. But sopo, wehn I lte go of ryuo andh, I lte go of teh bseggit jkoe of lla.
Exit
MIAAR sxtie.

SIR TOBY BELCH

O knight, thou lackest a cup of canary. When did I see thee so put down?

RIS OBYT BLEHC

rSi, uyo ndee a rnidk. hnWe ash yonane erev tup oyu wdon ielk taht.

SIR ANDREW

Never in your life, I think, unless you see canary put me down. Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man has. But I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that does harm to my wit.

SIR NWEDRA

evNre. eIv nyol enbe thta fra ndwo ewnh Ive urkdn mfsyle udenr the telba. mSsiemteo I htkni Im no rstamre ntha veegraa. I eat a olt of red tame, and byeam hatt emkas me itupds.

SIR TOBY BELCH

No question.

RIS YOBT LBEHC

lbyleAsuto.

SIR ANDREW

An I thought that, Id forswear it. Ill ride home tomorrow,
Sir Toby.

IRS RWDENA

If I ralley veielebd thta, Id iegv up edr etam lttoyal. By hte way, Im ognig ohem orwomort, riS yboT.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Pourquoi, my dear knight?

ISR BYOT LBECH

SIR ANDREW

What is pourquoi? Do, or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-baiting. O, had I but followed the arts!

RSI AENWDR

Waht esdo qiupouro amen? Dsoe it neam I will or I wotn? Oh, I wihs Id esntp as hcmu ietm enlarngi saeluagng as I ntspe on cnnegif, adncnig, nda

earb-gtiniba

erBa-btigani, in hwchi a aebr aws teid to a ktase and kcedttaa by sgdo, saw a ulrppao tettmairnnene in eSheaekrsasp time.

bear-baiting
! If lnyo Id naetk oslhoc eomr rlioysesu!

SIR TOBY BELCH

Then hadst thou had an excellent head of hair.

RIS TBYO LBHEC

dYou aehv a agret lytairhes if uoy ahd.

SIR ANDREW

85 Why, would that have mended my hair?

SRI ADRNWE

yhW, ouwld ttha vahe xdeif my hria?

SIR TOBY BELCH

Past question, for thou seest it will not curl by nature.

ISR BTYO CLHEB

Oh, no eotuisintq otnw ystle stelfi.

SIR ANDREW

But it becomes me well enough, does t not?

SRI DWNAER

tBu my riah oslok gdoo aaynwy, tnedso it?

SIR TOBY BELCH

Excellent. It hangs like flax on a distaff. And I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs and spin it off.

RSI TBOY CLBHE

It lkoos gtear. It hsgna klei an lod nwor-uot opm. moeS nmoaw dsluho ivge ouy lhiyissp so uoy go albd.

SIR ANDREW

Faith, Ill home tomorrow, Sir Toby. Your niece will not be seen. Or if she be, its four to one shell none of me. The count himself here hard by woos her.

RSI AWRDEN

seiLtn, Im going ohme omrorowt, iSr Tboy. rYou neeci is riefgsnu to ese oeynan, and enve if ehs saw me, net to neo esdh watn hgtoinn to do hwit me. ahTt kdue woh visel nyaber is inocrugt erh.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Shell none o the count. Shell not match above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit. I have heard her swear t. Tut, theres life in t, man.

SIR OBTY BEHLC

Sesh not tdenretesi in hte eudk. Seh enodts nawt to aryrm enayon of erghhi lcosia anrk tnah ehr, or yonaen ircerh, lerdo, or errsmat. vIe aredh ehr sya thta. So echer up, eehstr lslti poeh rfo oyu, anm.

SIR ANDREW

Ill stay a month longer. I am a fellow o th strangest mind i th world. I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether.

IRS DRWANE

lAl igthr, Ill atys hotaner ntomh. Ah, Im an ddo kind of ygu. mSeiemtos all I wtna to do is ese alyps nad go out gcadnin.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Art thou good at these kickshawses, knight?

SIR YTBO LHCBE

eAr uyo ogod at estho skdin of htgnis?

SIR ANDREW

As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters. And yet I will not compare with an old man.

ISR DEAWNR

sYe, as odog as yna anm in iallrIy, xteepc fro teh neos who are bretet at it tnha I am. Im not as ogdo as eeomsno hosw eenb canidng orf ayesr.

SIR TOBY BELCH

What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight?

SRI TYBO CBEHL

owH ogdo era uoy at eotsh sfat anceds?

SIR ANDREW

Faith, I can cut a caper.

SIR EDRWAN

SIR TOBY BELCH

And I can cut the mutton to t.

ISR TBOY BHCLE

nAd I cna tcu meso team to go whit yuor

earcsp

capre = a condiment

capers
.

SIR ANDREW

And I think I have the back-trick simply as strong as any man in Illyria.

RIS WRENDA

dAn I anc do atth ynfca rcbakadw pest as lwel as yna mna in alrilIy.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Wherefore are these things hid? Wherefore have these gifts a curtain before em? Are they like to take dust, like Mistress Malls picture? Why dost thou not go to church in a galliard and come home in a coranto? My very walk should be a jig. I would not so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace. What dost thou mean? Is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy leg, it was formed under the star of a galliard.

ISR YOTB CLEHB

Wyh do ouy iedh hstee snhtgi? hWy do yuo kepe eseth attnesl dinheb a ianurtc? eAr heyt kelily to egt stdyu? hWy otdn yuo go ffo to cuhchr digncna eon way, adn ocem ohme ncgidan trneaho ywa? If I ahd ruoy eantstl, Id be ncanidg a jig eervy emti I ekaldw nowd eth tesrte. I uotwldn veen pee uthitwo nagncdi a wzlat. Wtah rea you tnhkiign? Is sith the kdin of lrodw ewerh we hied our lpnatsicochsmem? ueoYr a rnob cnedar. ookL how yaspelh ruoy sgle era.

SIR ANDREW

Ay, tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a dun-colored stock. Shall we set about some revels?

SRI NADEWR

Tsath reut. ryehTe tgnsro, and hyet olko etytpr gdoo in bwrno thgits. hSuldo we otrwh a ietltl anedc ptyar?

SIR TOBY BELCH

What shall we do else? Were we not born under Taurus?

SRI YTBO LBHEC

yWh otn? teWnre we otbh ornb urned uuraTs?

SIR ANDREW

Taurus! Thats sides and heart.

IRS WDANRE

uusrTa! hTat nrvsego eth stroo adn ertha, ednots it?

SIR TOBY BELCH

No, sir, it is legs and thighs. Let me see the caper. (SIR
120 ANDREW dances) Ha, higher! Ha, ha, excellent!

IRS BYTO CBEHL

No, eht eslg dna hghtsi. etL me ese you dcean. (SIR AWREND andecs) Ha, rghihe! Ha, ha, lxeteelnc!
Exeunt
yeTh tixe.