No Fear Shakespeare: Twelfth Night: Act 1 Scene 5

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Enter MARIA and the FOOL	MAIAR adn eht OFOL heT ofol, or esjert, makse shi ngliiv by smungai iOvail and teh rbmeesm of her household. FOOL entre.
MARIA Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I will not open my lips so wide as a bristle may enter in way of thy excuse. My lady will hang thee for thy absence.	IAMRA No. Erihet lelt me wheer evuoy eben, or I nowt emka yna seeusxc ofr ouy to dayL ilivOa. aLyd Oaivli lwli ehav uoy uecetexd for ton hgnsowi up.
FOOL Let her hang me. He that is well hanged in this world needs to fear no colors.	FLOO So tle ehr eeuctxe me. nnAoye ohws ceeeduxt eodnst veha to be fardia of aigntynh he eses.
MARIA Make that good.	IRAAM oHw do yuo ownk?
FOOL He shall see none to fear.	FOOL llWe, hell be edad, so he wnto ees tnyhangi.
MARIA A good lenten answer. I can tell thee where that saying was born, of I fear no colors.	AMRIA tTahs a mela snwera. By teh way, I kown ewehr uyo egt lal uyor avbre katl tuaob not nbgie rfdaia of yghnnati.
FOOL 10 Where, good Mistress Mary?	FOOL hrWee, dgoo sMis ayMr?
MARIA In the wars. And that may you be bold to say in your foolery.	RAMIA rFmo odlessri. But oyull vnree ees eth trofn sienl. stI aeys rof you to lkat boaut rybaerv, rnwgoki as a oflo in sthi apaelc.
FOOL Well, God give them wisdom that have it. And those that are fools, let them use their talents.	OLOF lelW, we all hvea uro eclipsa fgits. eomS eolepp are bonr iwes; ohtes of us hwo wree emnat to be ofols ldoush do awht hyet do tsbe.
MARIA Yet you will be hanged for being so long absent. Or to be turned away, is not that as good as a hanging to you?	RIAAM But ltisl, sseh igngo to llik uoy rfo iegnb ogne so nglo. Or at alest frie oyu. ndA tnwloud that be as dba fro you as inebg dillek?
FOOL Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage, and, for turning away, let summer bear it out.	FOOL seiomSmet eitgtng leikld is a odog yaw to odaiv gtntegi idmrera. And as orf enigb fdrei, sti emsrum, so it twno be hatt dab to be lshsmeeo.
MARIA You are resolute, then?	AIRAM veuYo dema up oury mdin, hetn?
FOOL 20 Not so, neither, but I am resolved on two points.	OFLO No, ubt veI amed up my idmn on two psiont.
MARIA That if one break, the other will hold. Or, if both break, your gaskins fall.	RMAAI Ah eys, eth two sipotn wrhee ruoy nsrsspueed aer caattdeh to yuor ttsounb. If eon arsbek, hte rtheo ilwl hlod, ubt if othb ionstp brkae, ryuo npsta llwi llfa odnw.
FOOL Apt, in good faith, very apt. Well, go thy way. If Sir Toby would leave drinking, thou wert as witty a piece of Eves flesh as any in Illyria.	OFOL erCvle, reyv crelev. Well, go ngaol won. oYdu be eht stfeiunn snpero in iayIllr if rSi yoTb vere ptsdpeo dirkngin.
MARIA Peace, you rogue, no more o that. Here comes my lady. Make your excuse wisely, you were best.	IRMAA uhtS up, uyo ktaueblemorr, no orme of htat. eHer ecoms my adyl. If you kwon hwtsa dgoo orf uoy, oulyl knhit up semo ogod scxuee for gibne yawa so gnlo.
Exit	MAIRA iestx.
FOOL (aside) Wit, an t be thy will, put me into good fooling! Those wits, that think they have thee, do very oft prove fools. And I, that am sure I lack thee, may pass for a wise man. For what says Quinapalus? Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit.	OFLO (to sfhlmie) ePslea, tel me hknti of ioegsntmh nunyf to yas now! tamSr pelpoe ohw nikth hetrey itytw tnofe utrn uot to be osolf, utb I onkw Im not tywit, so I tihmg psas rfo rtmas. Wtha ddi ahtt opliehsorph aQpluusain anapuuilsQ is a aemd-up name Quinapalus ysa? Ah yse, A wityt olofs tbreet tnha a ioohfsl wti.
Enter OLIVIA with MALVOLIO with attendants	OIILVA rentes wthi VLLMAIOO nda ntdttnasea.
God bless thee, lady!	etgrGeisn to ouy, aammd!
OLIVIA Take the fool away.	AOVIIL Gte that loof uto of eerh.
FOOL 35 Do you not hear, fellows? Take away the lady.	OOLF indDt oyu aehr her, syug? Get hte dlay tou of eerh.
OLIVIA Go to, youre a dry fool. Ill no more of you. Besides, you grow dishonest.	LIIOVA Oh, go ywaa, oeyur a bngroi oofl. I ontd watn to heav igtnynah to do ihwt oyu armnoey. sisdeeB, voyeu eontgt aeebirllun.
FOOL Two faults, madonna, that drink and good counsel will amend. For give the dry fool drink, then is the fool not dry. Bid the dishonest man mend himself. If he mend, he is no longer dishonest. If he cannot, let the botcher mend him. Anything thats mended is but patched. Virtue that transgresses is but patched with sin, and sin that amends is but patched with virtue. If that this simple syllogism will serve, so. If it will not, what remedy? As there is no true cuckold but calamity, so beautys a flower. The lady bade take away the fool. Therefore, I say again, take her away.	LOFO Madam, sohte rae wto raaerchct fswla taht a tlteil eoboz nda meso ncmomo esens cna fxi. If ouy ahdn a iknrd to a reobs lofo, he nwot be trhstyi oeyranm. If yuo eltl a abd man to dmen shi eiwdck aswy, dna he esod, he twon be bad oemnayr. If he ncatno, elt eth iolrat mdne imh. nntAighy htsta dneemd is oynl cetdhap up. A doog onsper hwo sdeo inomgtshe wnorg is ylno ethacpd up ithw ins. ndA a renisn woh sode heogtmnsi odgo is nyol hdetpca up thiw gsdnooes. If htsi gcloi orkws, tshta gtaer. If tno, hwta acn uoy do btoau it? Senci hte oyln rlea rbeetyda anbudhs in teh wolrd is eht oen eteedsrd by dLya baLkesuccue erwe lla aierdrm to ehyebtaru is a rowfle. ehT yadl avge roserd to akte wyaa the floo, so Im tnlglie ouy aigan, ktae hre waya.
OLIVIA Sir, I bade them take away you.	LIIVAO I odlt ehmt to teak uyo away.
FOOL Misprision in the highest degree! Lady, Cucullus non facit monachumthats as much to say as I wear not motley in my brain. Good madonna, give me leave to prove you a fool.	OOLF Oh, wtah a igb kmtasei! maMda, oyu atnc jdgue a boko by tis rvceo. I mnae, I aym olok klie a lofo, but my smndi shpar. leaePs elt me rovpe oeyur a folo.
OLIVIA Can you do it?	VIALIO Can oyu do thta?
FOOL 55 Dexterously, good madonna.	LOFO syilEa, dmaam.
OLIVIA Make your proof.	LIOVAI eTnh go edaah nad rpvoe it.
FOOL I must catechise you for it, madonna. Good my mouse of virtue, answer me.	LFOO llI avhe to ksa oyu mose qsinsutoe, damam. aPlese srenaw, my odog liettl dttesun.
OLIVIA Well, sir, for want of other idleness, Ill bide your proof.	OILAVI Im tinsleign to uyo ynol ceeasub Ive tgo ghinnot retebt to do.
FOOL 60 Good madonna, why mournest thou?	OLFO My dear dmama, wyh era ouy in ugnominr?
OLIVIA Good fool, for my brothers death.	VAIILO My edra oolf, useeabc my erbhrto died.
FOOL I think his soul is in hell, madonna.	FLOO I tnkhi ish suols in elhl, my dlay.
OLIVIA I know his soul is in heaven, fool.	OLAVII I wnok ish sulso in hvanee, fool.
FOOL The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your brothers soul being in heaven. Take away the fool, gentlemen.	FOLO Tnhe euyro a lfoo ofr beign das htat oury hrsroetb luos is in vnahee. eTak waya ihst oflo, eneegmlnt.
OLIVIA What think you of this fool, Malvolio? Doth he not mend?	VIIAOL aWth do uoy hiknt of tshi folo, ioovlalM? tIsn he tengtgi fennriu?
MALVOLIO Yes, and shall do till the pangs of death shake him. Infirmity, that decays the wise, doth ever make the better fool.	IOOLLVAM eYs, nda hlel eekp tietgng erinnuf itll he isde. dOl ega sawaly sakme lpepoe act yunneefvn ewsi epleop, btu lsoof omer ntha naoyydb.
FOOL God send you, sir, a speedy infirmity, for the better increasing your folly! Sir Toby will be sworn that I am no fox, but he will not pass his word for two pence that you are no fool.	LFOO I ohep uoy go sieenl oosn, rsi, so uoy can mobece a rmoe olsoihf olof! rSi Tyob wduol etb a tornuef htta Im nto samrt, utb he lotdwnu tbe two cetsn tath reyuo nto a folo.
OLIVIA How say you to that, Malvolio?	AVLIOI ahWt do ouy ysa to ttah, voaloiMl?
MALVOLIO 75 I marvel your ladyship takes delight in such a barren rascal. I saw him put down the other day with an ordinary fool that	MLILOAVO Im srusipedr ouy jnoye eht ocpyanm of siht tpsdui leakmbrrtoeu. The teroh yad I saw imh fdaedete in a
has no more brain than a stone. Look you now, hes out of his guard already. Unless you laugh and minister occasion to him, he is gagged. I protest I take these wise men that crow so at these set kind of fools no better than the fools zanies.	altebt of itsw by an dnoariry estejr tiwh no moer bsarin tanh a rcok. koLo at mhi, seh at a ssol rfo words daelary. neslUs she ogt obyesmdo ganhguli at hmi, he tcna nkhti of gnnhtiay to ays. I weras, enonya matsr owh haulgs at htese tsrcuo teerjss is tgnhoni tub a rtsseej irptapceen.
OLIVIA Oh, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio, and taste with a distempered appetite. To be generous, guiltless, and of free disposition is to take those things for bird-bolts that you deem cannon-bullets. There is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail. Nor no railing in a known discreet man, though he do nothing but reprove.	IVILAO vlolMioa, ruoy tiyvna is mdgniaga oyur dgoo asett. If you reew uegnoser, tncennio, adn odgo-etdaunr, you wotldun get so uptes by ahtw teh lofo ssay. dYuo ntkih of hsi kercwsiasc as ahsmlrse lltite ceraekrscifr, ton ftuuhlr euslbtl. A crtuo ertejs isnt laerly zcgiirtciin lpepoe, veen if he deso onntihg tbu kame ufn of meht lla yad nlgo. dnA a siew oenspr tnseod ekam nuf of oleepp, vene if lla he eods is irizcitce mthe.
FOOL Now Mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou speakest well of fools!	FOLO uoY speak so yhilhg of fsloo! I ohep teh gdo of ptinecedo rrswdea uoy by kgnaim uoy a fdonrweul rlia.
Enter MARIA	ARIMA rneste.
MARIA Madam, there is at the gate a young gentleman much desires to speak with you.	AMAIR aMdma, esterh a uygon gnmlneeta at the tage who ralley tnaws to speak to yuo.
OLIVIA From the Count Orsino, is it?	IVALOI Was he snte by nutoC nosOir?
MARIA I know not, madam. Tis a fair young man, and well attended.	RAMIA I dont nkow, damam. esH a doog-nloogik onugy amn, nad ehrte rea a tlo of eopelp ihtw him.
OLIVIA 95 Who of my people hold him in delay?	IVALIO hosW tlknaig to mhi now?
MARIA Sir Toby, madam, your kinsman.	RAMAI irS bToy, daamm, oruy tvlireea.
OLIVIA Fetch him off, I pray you. He speaks nothing but madman. Fie on him!	VAOLII eSdn oyTb waya, sepael. He taskl ngthoin tub nesosnen.
Exit MARIA	RAAMI extsi.
Go you, Malvolio. If it be a suit from the count, I am sick, or not at home. What you will, to dismiss it.	Go uot adn tlak to shit viristo, aoiMovll. If seh got a agsseme rmof the cnout, tlle ihm Im iksc, or ton emoh. lTel mhi nihtgayn yuo awtn, as onlg as ouy kema him go waya.
Exit MALVOLIO	MOLLAIOV isetx.
Now you see, sir, how your fooling grows old, and people dislike it.	Now uoy ese hwo oyur fgoloni sgte gnorbi, and opeple dton iekl it.
FOOL Thou hast spoke for us, madonna, as if thy eldest son should be a fool, whose skull Jove cram with brains, for here he comesone of thy kin has a most weak pia mater.	OOFL adMam, uvyoe osekpn so higylh of us osflo, yudo inhtk uoyr dtselo sno aws ogign iton atht line of wokr. I poeh God msrac ish usllk lful of risabn, escuabe eehr eomsc eon of oruy taselvrie wsho rtypte waek in hte daeh.
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH	RIS YTBO LHCEB esrten.
OLIVIA By mine honor, half-drunk. What is he at the gate, cousin?	IAVLIO I rawes, she fhla rukdn reldyaa. oWhs ttah at eht tgae, lunec?
SIR TOBY BELCH A gentleman.	RSI TYBO BEHCL A nlteanmeg.
OLIVIA A gentleman? What gentleman?	ILAIOV A gletnname? Whta tglaneemn?
SIR TOBY BELCH Tis a gentleman herea plague o these pickle herring! 110 How now, sot!	RIS TOBY BECLH sreehT seom eentamlgn uot there.(belching) mnDa hseet lpckdei rghrnei! eTyh eutsp my mohsact. sowH it oggni, olof?
FOOL Good Sir Toby!	FOLO doGo rSi boTy!
OLIVIA Cousin, cousin, how have you come so early by this lethargy?	IVLAOI Ulenc, uelcn, ohw ear yuo redayla so banri-eadd so lreay in het yad?
SIR TOBY BELCH Lechery! I defy lechery. Theres one at the gate.	SRI YOTB CHLBE Barin-ddae! eensNsno. I fyde airbn-etahd! I ldto ouy, eosemnso at eht tage.
OLIVIA 115 Ay, marry, what is he?	ALIIOV Yse, ubt woh is he?
SIR TOBY BELCH Let him be the devil, an he will, I care not. Give me faith, say I. Well, its all one.	RIS OYBT ELHCB Lte imh be eth ildve if he wsnat to, I odtn erac. doG wlil ottcerp me. tWha do I acer woh it is?
Exit	IRS TYOB CBLEH xstei.
OLIVIA Whats a drunken man like, fool?	ILAOIV elTl me hwta a urkdn is klei, lfoo.
FOOL Like a drowned man, a fool and a madman. One draught above heat makes him a fool, the second mads him, and a third drowns him.	OLOF esH a loof, a dmmaan, nad a dwnredo mna. Teh tisfr rknid aksem imh a loof, eht ndseoc eaksm imh zrayc, adn het htdir nosrwd mhi.
OLIVIA Go thou and seek the crowner, and let him sit o my coz. For hes in the third degree of drink, hes drowned. Go look after him.	IOVILA Go ndif het ernorco nad etll imh to rerfpom an nqituse on my lnecu, cbuseae she in teh hdtir gedere of esunkhennressd roweddn. Go aekt caer of mih.
FOOL He is but mad yet, madonna, and the fool shall look to the madman.	OOFL Hse llsti ynol in the azcry easph. hTe oofl lwil go teka raec of the aamnmd.
Exit	ehT OLOF teixs.
Enter MALVOLIO	AOLIMOVL netser.
MALVOLIO Madam, yond young fellow swears he will speak with you. I told him you were sick. He takes on him to understand so much, and therefore comes to speak with you. I told him you were asleep. He seems to have a foreknowledge of that too, and therefore comes to speak with you. What is to be said to him, lady? Hes fortified against any denial.	IMOALOLV admaM, htta nuoyg nam out trehe ysas esh gto to epksa to yuo. I ltod hmi you eewr cski. He aimdecl he kwen ahtt, adn ahstt yhw hes mceo to spake ihtw ouy. I told mhi you were plsaee. He alemdic to nkwo tath ardlaey oto, and adis ttash eth sareno hes eocm to speak with you. Wath anc I say to imh, yadl? sHe gto an naewsr orf nriegtvyeh.
OLIVIA Tell him he shall not speak with me.	IILAVO Tlel hmi hes ton oging to speak iwth me.
MALVOLIO Has been told so, and he says hell stand at your door like a sheriffs post, and be the supporter to a bench, but hell speak with you.	OILALOVM I ltod mih tath. He syas ehll adnst at oyur ordo elki a sotpgsin or a bhnce inult he esspak tihw oyu.
OLIVIA What kind o man is he?	OAIVLI atWh kndi of anm is he?
MALVOLIO Why, of mankind.	ILVOAMLO Juts a nma, like nay oreth.
OLIVIA What manner of man?	IAOVLI But whast he lkei?
MALVOLIO 140 Of very ill manner. Hell speak with you, will you or no.	AMLOOILV sHe rvey dure. He iistnss lleh speak hwit uyo weerhht oyu tawn hmi to or ton.
OLIVIA Of what personage and years is he?	IIOVLA athW sdoe he loko elik? wHo old is he?
MALVOLIO Not yet old enough for a man, nor young enough for a boy, as a squash is before tis a peascod, or a codling when tis almost an apple. Tis with him in standing water, between boy and man. He is very well-favored, and he speaks very shrewishly. One would think his mothers milk were scarce out of him.	AVOLMOIL Nto odl huegno to be a anm, tbu ont gunoy goenhu to be a oyb. Hse lkie a udb eberof it semceob a pea pdo, or ielk a llteit rneeg epalp ebeofr it segt gbi dna iepr. sHe oewesmhre eebwent oby nad amn. Hes vyre hnmsoade and sesakp wlle, btu hes rvey nuyog. He lokos elki he just eylnretc pdpeost fbgnestreaide.
OLIVIA Let him approach. Call in my gentlewoman.	AOVLII hwSo mih in. llaC in my mdia.
MALVOLIO Gentlewoman, my lady calls.	OLMAOIVL aaiMr, oru lyad atwns ouy.
Exit	LAMOOILV setix.
Enter MARIA	MIAAR sreten.
OLIVIA Give me my veil. Come, throw it oer my face. (OLIVIA puts on a veil) Well once more hear Orsinos embassy.	IOIALV viGe me my ielv. emCo, utp it vero my acfe. (OLIVIA utsp on erh lvie) ereW gonig to haer niorssO eapls angai.
Enter VIOLA , with attendants	OVAIL teresn, seeddrs as OEARCSI , with atandesttn.
VIOLA The honorable lady of the house, which is she?	AIOVL chWhi one of uyo is eth yadl of eht hosue?
OLIVIA Speak to me. I shall answer for her. Your will?	VIAOLI Yuo acn speak to me. I terspnree erh. tWah do ouy tnwa?
VIOLA Most radiant, exquisite and unmatchable beautyI pray you, tell me if this be the lady of the house, for I never saw her. I would be loath to cast away my speech, for besides that it is excellently well penned, I have taken great pains to con it. Good beauties, let me sustain no scorn. I am very comptible, even to the least sinister usage.	VAOLI ahWt nnigntus, qeitixseu, adn etaulabnhcm ubtetbayu sepeal, ltel me if eoyru teh aldy of eth euohs, ceesbua eIv rneev nsee hre. Id ahte to sweat my speech on eth orgnw pesron, seceaub sIt vrey elwl trienwt dna I nepst a lto of miet nda ygener irogmzienm it. Buultieaf easlid, laspee notd rttae me albyd. Im vrye seinvseit, and eevn the telslmas tib of usrsndee rshut my infglsee.
OLIVIA 160 Whence came you, sir?	LAIVOI Wrehe do uoy meco mfro, sri?
VIOLA I can say little more than I have studied, and that questions out of my part. Good gentle one, give me modest assurance if you be the lady of the house, that I may proceed in my speech.	OIAVL Im osyrr, utb I emoizrdme atwh Im peduposs to ays ehre dotya, dna thta ouintseq ints patr of hte pchees I aelnrde. Pesael, my ylda, sujt oncrfmi hatt uyeor the adly of the suhoe so I anc get on thiw my eecphs.
OLIVIA 165 Are you a comedian?	OIAVLI rAe ouy an aotcr?
VIOLA No, my profound heart. And yet, by the very fangs of malice I swear, I am not that I play. Are you the lady of the house?	OAVIL No, mamad. tBu I wesra Im ont eht osnepr Im glinpya. eAr uyo eth aldy of teh hoesu?
OLIVIA If I do not usurp myself, I am.	IVALOI I am, sesnul I oeshmwo teols isht erlo.
VIOLA Most certain, if you are she, you do usurp yourself, for what is yours to bestow is not yours to reserve. But this is from my commission. I will on with my speech in your praise and then show you the heart of my message.	OVLAI If uyroe eht lady of eht heosu, nhte tis rute yureo glstiean oyur lero, acubsee twsah rusoy to giev away is nto rosyu to kepe rfo sufleyor. Btu tahst not trpa of atwh Im sppesdou to ays. llI go on wthi my esecph isrnpaig you, dna enht Ill get to hte toipn.
OLIVIA Come to what is important in t. I forgive you the praise.	ILIAOV Get to eth tonip wno. llI let uoy egt awya htwi iisgknpp eth ispaer.
VIOLA 175 Alas, I took great pains to study it, and tis poetical.	IOLAV Ttash oot adb, auseebc I snetp a olgn ietm iginmozemr it, dna sti tepcio.
OLIVIA It is the more like to be feigned. I pray you, keep it in. I heard you were saucy at my gates and allowed your approach rather to wonder at you than to hear you. If you be not mad, be gone. If you have reason, be brief. Tis not that time of moon with me to make one in so skipping a dialogue.	IOAIVL Tath smane ist omer ielykl to be akfe. laeePs, epek it to osflyeru. I adhre uoy ewer rude henw ouy erwe gdiannts eusiodt my etga, adn satth hte noyl nosrea I elt you in. I asw uiuorsc. tuB I notd ssayrleienc atwn to iletsn to oyu. If ourye sjut nsneai, hetn tge otu of eher. If yueor in yruo higtr nmdi, tge to het iotpn. evI gto no encaetpi for ylacun at eht meonmt, and I ndot tnaw to atswe my mtie on uciluirdso cstnevasoionr.
MARIA Will you hoist sail, sir? Here lies your way.	MAIAR dayRe to ets lias, isr? heT oosdr hrigt eher.
VIOLA No, good swabber, I am to hull here a little longer. Some mollification for your giant, sweet lady.	VIOLA No, hist tsbao ndcogik ehre a tbi orenlg, ltliet oirlsa.My dlay, dowul ouy mnid isangk uroy antig hree to kcab ffo a bit?
OLIVIA 185 Tell me your mind.	IIOAVL eTll me tawh uoy tnaw.
VIOLA I am a messenger.	IVLAO I evah a sameseg to lvdeeir.
OLIVIA Sure, you have some hideous matter to deliver, when the courtesy of it is so fearful. Speak your office.	VOIAIL It tusm be a maeesgs baout nsimethog lboirher, icens uoy rvielde it so yledur. lelT me tawh sti autob.
VIOLA It alone concerns your ear. I bring no overture of war, no taxation of homage. I hold the olive in my hand. My words are as full of peace as matter.	OIVLA sIt btauo ouy. Im nto ignrbgni ayn taoslicdnera of arw or mdseadn orf hcsa. Im mongic in epeac.
OLIVIA Yet you began rudely. What are you? What would you?	LIVAOI But yuo abegn so eyurld. hoW are yuo? tWah do uoy nawt?
VIOLA The rudeness that hath appeared in me have I learned from my entertainment. What I am and what I would are as secret as maidenhead. To your ears, divinity. To any others, profanation.	VAIOL If I edemse edur, tis besuace of woh yldab I was eraettd wehn I tgo ehre. Woh I am nad whta I watn era a srtece. oYuer teh noyl eon I nca eshar the seecrt hitw. stI rsaedc, tjus orf yuo. sIt ont orf oaynen lees to erha.
OLIVIA Give us the place alone. We will hear this divinity.	OLVIAI voErneye, pseeal lvaee us aolne ofr a emonmt. veI tog a earsdc crtees to earh.
Exeunt MARIA and attendants	MIRAA nad dnsanettta txei.
Now, sir, what is your text?	wNo, ris, athws hits ohyl eecrst yuo dtwaen to tlel me?
VIOLA Most sweet lady	AIVLO Msto esewt lyad
OLIVIA A comfortable doctrine, and much may be said of it. Where lies your text?	ALIVIO Oh, teesw! It snduos leik a einc nad lnteeg kind of ifath. hersWe eth aagseps of holy crrituspe tath ruoey angsib yrou nrmsoe on?
VIOLA In Orsinos bosom.	LOIAV In onssOir ahter.
OLIVIA In his bosom? In what chapter of his bosom?	OVIILA In hsi etrah? In hwat tpreahc nda rvese of ish heart?
VIOLA To answer by the method, in the first of his heart.	VIAOL hTe btlae of notstenc ssay sti in the ifrst earphtc of ihs ahtre.
OLIVIA 205 Oh, I have read it. It is heresy. Have you no more to say?	ALOIIV Oh, Iev aerd ttha. aThst tno yolh, tsi yerehs. Do yuo ehav hgynitan slee to ays?
VIOLA Good madam, let me see your face.	VLOIA Mmdaa, esepla lte me see uryo cfae.
OLIVIA Have you any commission from your lord to negotiate with my face? You are now out of your text. But we will draw the curtain and show you the picture. Look you, sir, such a one I was this present. Is t not well done?	AOLVII aHs uryo rodl gevni you any serdor to eaigetnto tiwh my aecf? I ndto hntki so. Yoeru seppnegtvroi uyro sodnub now. tuB llI onep hte unrtaci and tel you ees het truceip. okoL, sir, tihs is a rpaoitrt of me as I am at this ruiparcatl meontm. tsI eptryt lewl oend, nits it?
OLIVIA removes her veil	LAVIOI eastk ffo reh evli.
VIOLA Excellently done, if God did all.	IVLAO It wsa oned txenlceyell, if ist lal-aulratn, eht ayw odG meda it.
OLIVIA Tis in grain, sir. Twill endure wind and weather.	AVILIO Oh, tis all-lrantua, irs. Wndi adn arin tanc whas it ffo.
VIOLA Tis beauty truly blent, whose red and white Natures own sweet and cunning hand laid on. 215 Lady, you are the cruelst she alive If you will lead these graces to the grave And leave the world no copy.	IVALO thsaT retu uabyet. Merhto Nrtaue eflhres paeintd royu kins so wheti nad uoyr psli so erd. My lady, ouyd be eth crseeult mnwoa ivela if oyu tel uyor ubetay die hitw you, wthi no nrciledh to inireht your ogod oolks for truefu onreniaegst to jyoen.
OLIVIA O, sir, I will not be so hard-hearted. I will give out divers schedules of my beauty. It shall be inventoried, and every particle and utensil labeled to my will: as, item, two lips indifferent red; item, two grey eyes, with lids to them; item, one neck, one chin, and so forth. Were you sent hither to praise me?	VIIOLA Oh, Id rveen be that lceur. llI lieinefydt do as oyu yas dan eavel my tbeyua rfo hte tres of the owdlr to eoynj. lIl iwter out a ladedtei niotenryv of my taeyub dna elalb yevre aprt. orF exampleitem: wot ispl, adirrony edr. Item: two gary esye, htwi idls on hetm. Item: eon nkce, noe ihnc, and so on. yayAwn, erwe ouy ntes reeh tujs to ellt me Im uultfbiae?
VIOLA I see you what you are, you are too proud. 225 But, if you were the devil, you are fair. My lord and master loves you. Oh, such love Could be but recompensed though you were crowned The nonpareil of beauty.	IOAVL I ese whta yreou eikl. ruYoe drpuo. Btu doyu llsti be rgseouog enev if you eewr as droup as eht vlide. My olrd oslev yuo. oYu lhsudo unrter a voel as pede as his, eevn if yeruo hte tmos eafbuluit aomwn in the rowld.
OLIVIA How does he love me?	VAILOI owH esdo he olve me?
VIOLA With adorations, fertile tears, 230 With groans that thunder love, with sighs of fire.	ALIVO He orased ouy. He csier dan norgas adn sihgs.
OLIVIA Your lord does know my mind. I cannot love him. Yet I suppose him virtuous, know him noble, Of great estate, of fresh and stainless youth.	VIIOLA rouY drlo ksonw twha I ihtnk. I cnta lveo him. Im resu ehs a vyer inec amn. I nwko seh onble, crih, yguon, adn ihtw a ienf unpitoreta. Plpoee asy seh rgnueeso, lewl utdedeca, nad varbe, dna hes revy atittcvear.
In voices well divulged, free, learned, and valiant; 235 And in dimension and the shape of nature A gracious person. But yet I cannot love him; He might have took his answer long ago.	tuB I tujs acnt love him. He uoslhd eahv gneiserd lmefshi to ttah a goln mtie oag.
VIOLA If I did love you in my masters flame, With such a suffering, such a deadly life, 240 In your denial I would find no sense; I would not understand it.	IVLAO If I odlve uoy as ypanossaeilt as my etmasr dseo, nad rseufdef klei he does, ruoy eitrjocne dwlou ekma no enses to me. I lntwodu ntdesaurnd it.
OLIVIA Why, what would you?	OVLAII atWh wuold you do otaub it?
VIOLA Make me a willow cabin at your gate And call upon my soul within the house. Write loyal cantons of contemned love 245 And sing them loud even in the dead of night. Halloo your name to the reverberate hills And make the babbling gossip of the air Cry out Olivia! Oh, you should not rest Between the elements of air and earth, 250 But you should pity me.	LVOIA Id iubld myslfe a dsa ltitel niabc nare rouy ouesh, erwhe my solsu roiesdipmn. Form atht nbcia Id call tuo to my solu. Id tiewr sad sgnso auobt deirnetuqu vloe nda gisn ethm uydlol in eth dledmi of hte igthn. Id utosh uyro name to hte sllhi and meak teh air hoce htwi oyur emna, Oavlii! Oh, you unodwtl be aelb to go nreyewha hiowttu leifgen yrros ofr me.
OLIVIA You might do much. What is your parentage?	LVOIAI otN dab; uoy tghmi scclpoamhi intoesmgh. hWo era your asetrnp?
VIOLA Above my fortunes, yet my state is well. I am a gentleman.	ILAVO I saw obnr to a eghrhi stioopni ntah veI ogt own. tuB Im stlli aiylrf hghi-ankgnri. Im a mganneelt.
OLIVIA Get you to your lord. I cannot love him. Let him send no more 255 Unless perchance you come to me again To tell me how he takes it. Fare you well. I thank you for your pains. Spend this for me.	VOIIAL Go abkc to yuro dorl. I ntca olve ihm. llTe ihm ton to dnes yna orem uesrmngnssselees uyo flee klie goncmi back to ltel me owh he koto eth dba eswn. edGyoob. hnaTks orf your luetobr. erseH emso mnoye fro you.
OLIVIA offers VIOLA money	ILOVAI fofers OLAIV enymo
VIOLA I am no feed post, lady. Keep your purse. My master, not myself, lacks recompense. 260 Love make his heart of flint that you shall love, And let your fervor, like my masters, be Placed in contempt. Farewell, fair cruelty.	ALOVI Im otn a apdi grssemeen, my lyda. eepK uroy eonym. sIt my restam hswo nto nitgtge eth edawrr he srveeesd, otn me. I oehp yuo allf in velo iwht a nam hosew herat is adrh as a rcok dna woh tatsre oruy oevl eikl a bgi ekjo, sjtu klie oeyvu eond. oboyeGd, you bilaetuuf, lucer onmwa.
Exit	OVLAI seixt.
OLIVIA What is your parentage? Above my fortunes, yet my state is well. 265 I am a gentleman. Ill be sworn thou art; Thy tongue, thy face, thy limbs, actions, and spirit, Do give thee fivefold blazon. Not too fast! Soft, soft! Unless the master were the man. How now? Even so quickly may one catch the plague? 270 Methinks I feel this youths perfections With an invisible and subtle stealth To creep in at mine eyes. Well, let it be. What ho, Malvolio!	VIOLIA Woh era ryuo psrenta? I swa rbon to a hreigh poosniti athn Iev ogt nwo. But Im lilts ayrilf ihhg-nrnagik. Im a etanmgnel. sYe, Im ersu uoy are. ouYr ywa of ntglaki, uyor feac, oryu boyd, your hovrbiea, dan your vnestisei lsuo all ovrep oruye a lnemanteg. Ah, no. Caml donw, lmca odwn. If yonl his odlr weer meor leki imh. How stegran Im flieeng! naC seooemn flla in vleo hsti qkulicy? I anc eefl sthi yogun mans etciepronf iregecnp in thrhugo my eeys eilk msoe nidk of aedssie, lswloy and yvnilbisi. Oh, llew.ooMalivl! oeCm reeh!
Enter MALVOLIO	OMVILOLA etesrn.
MALVOLIO Here, madam, at your service.	OVOLMLIA At royu risecev, mdama.
OLIVIA Run after that same peevish messenger, 275 The countys man. He left this ring behind him, Would I or not. Tell him Ill none of it. OLIVIA hands him a ring Desire him not to flatter with his lord, Nor hold him up with hopes. I am not for him. 280 If that the youth will come this way tomorrow, Ill give him reasons for t. Hie thee, Malvolio.	AVLIOI uRn erfta htta ouisobnox smengsree, eth uedks rnevsat. He ntssiide on neavlgi tsih grni whit me rhtwehe I dentaw it or nto. Tell mih I twna thngoni to do whit it. (ehs dsnha mhi a rign) Aks him nto to acurengoe rnsioO or to tge his hopes up. Im otn orf him. If tath ygnuo amn mscoe ereh angia oormrowt, lIl ellt him yhw. uHryr, oviMolal.
MALVOLIO Madam, I will.	OIVOALML aMmda, I will.
Exit	LMOIOLAV tiexs.
OLIVIA I do I know not what and fear to find Mine eye too great a flatterer for my mind. 285 Fate, show thy force. Ourselves we do not owe. What is decreed must be, and be this so.	AOVLII I tdon okwn waht Im dgoin. Im aiafdr Im tno uinsg my hdea, nda Im lialngf rof ish ogod ksool. tFae, do uroy kwor. We umnha bginse otdn oltcnro oru own sestienid. taWh is dftea to ahepnp tmsu phaenp. So let it enhppa!
Exit	LIVAOI tseix.

Original Text	Modern Text
Enter MARIA and the FOOL	MAIAR adn eht OFOL heT ofol, or esjert, makse shi ngliiv by smungai iOvail and teh rbmeesm of her household. FOOL entre.
MARIA Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I will not open my lips so wide as a bristle may enter in way of thy excuse. My lady will hang thee for thy absence.	IAMRA No. Erihet lelt me wheer evuoy eben, or I nowt emka yna seeusxc ofr ouy to dayL ilivOa. aLyd Oaivli lwli ehav uoy uecetexd for ton hgnsowi up.
FOOL Let her hang me. He that is well hanged in this world needs to fear no colors.	FLOO So tle ehr eeuctxe me. nnAoye ohws ceeeduxt eodnst veha to be fardia of aigntynh he eses.
MARIA Make that good.	IRAAM oHw do yuo ownk?
FOOL He shall see none to fear.	FOOL llWe, hell be edad, so he wnto ees tnyhangi.
MARIA A good lenten answer. I can tell thee where that saying was born, of I fear no colors.	AMRIA tTahs a mela snwera. By teh way, I kown ewehr uyo egt lal uyor avbre katl tuaob not nbgie rfdaia of yghnnati.
FOOL 10 Where, good Mistress Mary?	FOOL hrWee, dgoo sMis ayMr?
MARIA In the wars. And that may you be bold to say in your foolery.	RAMIA rFmo odlessri. But oyull vnree ees eth trofn sienl. stI aeys rof you to lkat boaut rybaerv, rnwgoki as a oflo in sthi apaelc.
FOOL Well, God give them wisdom that have it. And those that are fools, let them use their talents.	OLOF lelW, we all hvea uro eclipsa fgits. eomS eolepp are bonr iwes; ohtes of us hwo wree emnat to be ofols ldoush do awht hyet do tsbe.
MARIA Yet you will be hanged for being so long absent. Or to be turned away, is not that as good as a hanging to you?	RIAAM But ltisl, sseh igngo to llik uoy rfo iegnb ogne so nglo. Or at alest frie oyu. ndA tnwloud that be as dba fro you as inebg dillek?
FOOL Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage, and, for turning away, let summer bear it out.	FOOL seiomSmet eitgtng leikld is a odog yaw to odaiv gtntegi idmrera. And as orf enigb fdrei, sti emsrum, so it twno be hatt dab to be lshsmeeo.
MARIA You are resolute, then?	AIRAM veuYo dema up oury mdin, hetn?
FOOL 20 Not so, neither, but I am resolved on two points.	OFLO No, ubt veI amed up my idmn on two psiont.
MARIA That if one break, the other will hold. Or, if both break, your gaskins fall.	RMAAI Ah eys, eth two sipotn wrhee ruoy nsrsspueed aer caattdeh to yuor ttsounb. If eon arsbek, hte rtheo ilwl hlod, ubt if othb ionstp brkae, ryuo npsta llwi llfa odnw.
FOOL Apt, in good faith, very apt. Well, go thy way. If Sir Toby would leave drinking, thou wert as witty a piece of Eves flesh as any in Illyria.	OFOL erCvle, reyv crelev. Well, go ngaol won. oYdu be eht stfeiunn snpero in iayIllr if rSi yoTb vere ptsdpeo dirkngin.
MARIA Peace, you rogue, no more o that. Here comes my lady. Make your excuse wisely, you were best.	IRMAA uhtS up, uyo ktaueblemorr, no orme of htat. eHer ecoms my adyl. If you kwon hwtsa dgoo orf uoy, oulyl knhit up semo ogod scxuee for gibne yawa so gnlo.
Exit	MAIRA iestx.
FOOL (aside) Wit, an t be thy will, put me into good fooling! Those wits, that think they have thee, do very oft prove fools. And I, that am sure I lack thee, may pass for a wise man. For what says Quinapalus? Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit.	OFLO (to sfhlmie) ePslea, tel me hknti of ioegsntmh nunyf to yas now! tamSr pelpoe ohw nikth hetrey itytw tnofe utrn uot to be osolf, utb I onkw Im not tywit, so I tihmg psas rfo rtmas. Wtha ddi ahtt opliehsorph aQpluusain anapuuilsQ is a aemd-up name Quinapalus ysa? Ah yse, A wityt olofs tbreet tnha a ioohfsl wti.
Enter OLIVIA with MALVOLIO with attendants	OIILVA rentes wthi VLLMAIOO nda ntdttnasea.
God bless thee, lady!	etgrGeisn to ouy, aammd!
OLIVIA Take the fool away.	AOVIIL Gte that loof uto of eerh.
FOOL 35 Do you not hear, fellows? Take away the lady.	OOLF indDt oyu aehr her, syug? Get hte dlay tou of eerh.
OLIVIA Go to, youre a dry fool. Ill no more of you. Besides, you grow dishonest.	LIIOVA Oh, go ywaa, oeyur a bngroi oofl. I ontd watn to heav igtnynah to do ihwt oyu armnoey. sisdeeB, voyeu eontgt aeebirllun.
FOOL Two faults, madonna, that drink and good counsel will amend. For give the dry fool drink, then is the fool not dry. Bid the dishonest man mend himself. If he mend, he is no longer dishonest. If he cannot, let the botcher mend him. Anything thats mended is but patched. Virtue that transgresses is but patched with sin, and sin that amends is but patched with virtue. If that this simple syllogism will serve, so. If it will not, what remedy? As there is no true cuckold but calamity, so beautys a flower. The lady bade take away the fool. Therefore, I say again, take her away.	LOFO Madam, sohte rae wto raaerchct fswla taht a tlteil eoboz nda meso ncmomo esens cna fxi. If ouy ahdn a iknrd to a reobs lofo, he nwot be trhstyi oeyranm. If yuo eltl a abd man to dmen shi eiwdck aswy, dna he esod, he twon be bad oemnayr. If he ncatno, elt eth iolrat mdne imh. nntAighy htsta dneemd is oynl cetdhap up. A doog onsper hwo sdeo inomgtshe wnorg is ylno ethacpd up ithw ins. ndA a renisn woh sode heogtmnsi odgo is nyol hdetpca up thiw gsdnooes. If htsi gcloi orkws, tshta gtaer. If tno, hwta acn uoy do btoau it? Senci hte oyln rlea rbeetyda anbudhs in teh wolrd is eht oen eteedsrd by dLya baLkesuccue erwe lla aierdrm to ehyebtaru is a rowfle. ehT yadl avge roserd to akte wyaa the floo, so Im tnlglie ouy aigan, ktae hre waya.
OLIVIA Sir, I bade them take away you.	LIIVAO I odlt ehmt to teak uyo away.
FOOL Misprision in the highest degree! Lady, Cucullus non facit monachumthats as much to say as I wear not motley in my brain. Good madonna, give me leave to prove you a fool.	OOLF Oh, wtah a igb kmtasei! maMda, oyu atnc jdgue a boko by tis rvceo. I mnae, I aym olok klie a lofo, but my smndi shpar. leaePs elt me rovpe oeyur a folo.
OLIVIA Can you do it?	VIALIO Can oyu do thta?
FOOL 55 Dexterously, good madonna.	LOFO syilEa, dmaam.
OLIVIA Make your proof.	LIOVAI eTnh go edaah nad rpvoe it.
FOOL I must catechise you for it, madonna. Good my mouse of virtue, answer me.	LFOO llI avhe to ksa oyu mose qsinsutoe, damam. aPlese srenaw, my odog liettl dttesun.
OLIVIA Well, sir, for want of other idleness, Ill bide your proof.	OILAVI Im tinsleign to uyo ynol ceeasub Ive tgo ghinnot retebt to do.
FOOL 60 Good madonna, why mournest thou?	OLFO My dear dmama, wyh era ouy in ugnominr?
OLIVIA Good fool, for my brothers death.	VAIILO My edra oolf, useeabc my erbhrto died.
FOOL I think his soul is in hell, madonna.	FLOO I tnkhi ish suols in elhl, my dlay.
OLIVIA I know his soul is in heaven, fool.	OLAVII I wnok ish sulso in hvanee, fool.
FOOL The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your brothers soul being in heaven. Take away the fool, gentlemen.	FOLO Tnhe euyro a lfoo ofr beign das htat oury hrsroetb luos is in vnahee. eTak waya ihst oflo, eneegmlnt.
OLIVIA What think you of this fool, Malvolio? Doth he not mend?	VIIAOL aWth do uoy hiknt of tshi folo, ioovlalM? tIsn he tengtgi fennriu?
MALVOLIO Yes, and shall do till the pangs of death shake him. Infirmity, that decays the wise, doth ever make the better fool.	IOOLLVAM eYs, nda hlel eekp tietgng erinnuf itll he isde. dOl ega sawaly sakme lpepoe act yunneefvn ewsi epleop, btu lsoof omer ntha naoyydb.
FOOL God send you, sir, a speedy infirmity, for the better increasing your folly! Sir Toby will be sworn that I am no fox, but he will not pass his word for two pence that you are no fool.	LFOO I ohep uoy go sieenl oosn, rsi, so uoy can mobece a rmoe olsoihf olof! rSi Tyob wduol etb a tornuef htta Im nto samrt, utb he lotdwnu tbe two cetsn tath reyuo nto a folo.
OLIVIA How say you to that, Malvolio?	AVLIOI ahWt do ouy ysa to ttah, voaloiMl?
MALVOLIO 75 I marvel your ladyship takes delight in such a barren rascal. I saw him put down the other day with an ordinary fool that	MLILOAVO Im srusipedr ouy jnoye eht ocpyanm of siht tpsdui leakmbrrtoeu. The teroh yad I saw imh fdaedete in a
has no more brain than a stone. Look you now, hes out of his guard already. Unless you laugh and minister occasion to him, he is gagged. I protest I take these wise men that crow so at these set kind of fools no better than the fools zanies.	altebt of itsw by an dnoariry estejr tiwh no moer bsarin tanh a rcok. koLo at mhi, seh at a ssol rfo words daelary. neslUs she ogt obyesmdo ganhguli at hmi, he tcna nkhti of gnnhtiay to ays. I weras, enonya matsr owh haulgs at htese tsrcuo teerjss is tgnhoni tub a rtsseej irptapceen.
OLIVIA Oh, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio, and taste with a distempered appetite. To be generous, guiltless, and of free disposition is to take those things for bird-bolts that you deem cannon-bullets. There is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail. Nor no railing in a known discreet man, though he do nothing but reprove.	IVILAO vlolMioa, ruoy tiyvna is mdgniaga oyur dgoo asett. If you reew uegnoser, tncennio, adn odgo-etdaunr, you wotldun get so uptes by ahtw teh lofo ssay. dYuo ntkih of hsi kercwsiasc as ahsmlrse lltite ceraekrscifr, ton ftuuhlr euslbtl. A crtuo ertejs isnt laerly zcgiirtciin lpepoe, veen if he deso onntihg tbu kame ufn of meht lla yad nlgo. dnA a siew oenspr tnseod ekam nuf of oleepp, vene if lla he eods is irizcitce mthe.
FOOL Now Mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou speakest well of fools!	FOLO uoY speak so yhilhg of fsloo! I ohep teh gdo of ptinecedo rrswdea uoy by kgnaim uoy a fdonrweul rlia.
Enter MARIA	ARIMA rneste.
MARIA Madam, there is at the gate a young gentleman much desires to speak with you.	AMAIR aMdma, esterh a uygon gnmlneeta at the tage who ralley tnaws to speak to yuo.
OLIVIA From the Count Orsino, is it?	IVALOI Was he snte by nutoC nosOir?
MARIA I know not, madam. Tis a fair young man, and well attended.	RAMIA I dont nkow, damam. esH a doog-nloogik onugy amn, nad ehrte rea a tlo of eopelp ihtw him.
OLIVIA 95 Who of my people hold him in delay?	IVALIO hosW tlknaig to mhi now?
MARIA Sir Toby, madam, your kinsman.	RAMAI irS bToy, daamm, oruy tvlireea.
OLIVIA Fetch him off, I pray you. He speaks nothing but madman. Fie on him!	VAOLII eSdn oyTb waya, sepael. He taskl ngthoin tub nesosnen.
Exit MARIA	RAAMI extsi.
Go you, Malvolio. If it be a suit from the count, I am sick, or not at home. What you will, to dismiss it.	Go uot adn tlak to shit viristo, aoiMovll. If seh got a agsseme rmof the cnout, tlle ihm Im iksc, or ton emoh. lTel mhi nihtgayn yuo awtn, as onlg as ouy kema him go waya.
Exit MALVOLIO	MOLLAIOV isetx.
Now you see, sir, how your fooling grows old, and people dislike it.	Now uoy ese hwo oyur fgoloni sgte gnorbi, and opeple dton iekl it.
FOOL Thou hast spoke for us, madonna, as if thy eldest son should be a fool, whose skull Jove cram with brains, for here he comesone of thy kin has a most weak pia mater.	OOFL adMam, uvyoe osekpn so higylh of us osflo, yudo inhtk uoyr dtselo sno aws ogign iton atht line of wokr. I poeh God msrac ish usllk lful of risabn, escuabe eehr eomsc eon of oruy taselvrie wsho rtypte waek in hte daeh.
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH	RIS YTBO LHCEB esrten.
OLIVIA By mine honor, half-drunk. What is he at the gate, cousin?	IAVLIO I rawes, she fhla rukdn reldyaa. oWhs ttah at eht tgae, lunec?
SIR TOBY BELCH A gentleman.	RSI TYBO BEHCL A nlteanmeg.
OLIVIA A gentleman? What gentleman?	ILAIOV A gletnname? Whta tglaneemn?
SIR TOBY BELCH Tis a gentleman herea plague o these pickle herring! 110 How now, sot!	RIS TOBY BECLH sreehT seom eentamlgn uot there.(belching) mnDa hseet lpckdei rghrnei! eTyh eutsp my mohsact. sowH it oggni, olof?
FOOL Good Sir Toby!	FOLO doGo rSi boTy!
OLIVIA Cousin, cousin, how have you come so early by this lethargy?	IVLAOI Ulenc, uelcn, ohw ear yuo redayla so banri-eadd so lreay in het yad?
SIR TOBY BELCH Lechery! I defy lechery. Theres one at the gate.	SRI YOTB CHLBE Barin-ddae! eensNsno. I fyde airbn-etahd! I ldto ouy, eosemnso at eht tage.
OLIVIA 115 Ay, marry, what is he?	ALIIOV Yse, ubt woh is he?
SIR TOBY BELCH Let him be the devil, an he will, I care not. Give me faith, say I. Well, its all one.	RIS OYBT ELHCB Lte imh be eth ildve if he wsnat to, I odtn erac. doG wlil ottcerp me. tWha do I acer woh it is?
Exit	IRS TYOB CBLEH xstei.
OLIVIA Whats a drunken man like, fool?	ILAOIV elTl me hwta a urkdn is klei, lfoo.
FOOL Like a drowned man, a fool and a madman. One draught above heat makes him a fool, the second mads him, and a third drowns him.	OLOF esH a loof, a dmmaan, nad a dwnredo mna. Teh tisfr rknid aksem imh a loof, eht ndseoc eaksm imh zrayc, adn het htdir nosrwd mhi.
OLIVIA Go thou and seek the crowner, and let him sit o my coz. For hes in the third degree of drink, hes drowned. Go look after him.	IOVILA Go ndif het ernorco nad etll imh to rerfpom an nqituse on my lnecu, cbuseae she in teh hdtir gedere of esunkhennressd roweddn. Go aekt caer of mih.
FOOL He is but mad yet, madonna, and the fool shall look to the madman.	OOFL Hse llsti ynol in the azcry easph. hTe oofl lwil go teka raec of the aamnmd.
Exit	ehT OLOF teixs.
Enter MALVOLIO	AOLIMOVL netser.
MALVOLIO Madam, yond young fellow swears he will speak with you. I told him you were sick. He takes on him to understand so much, and therefore comes to speak with you. I told him you were asleep. He seems to have a foreknowledge of that too, and therefore comes to speak with you. What is to be said to him, lady? Hes fortified against any denial.	IMOALOLV admaM, htta nuoyg nam out trehe ysas esh gto to epksa to yuo. I ltod hmi you eewr cski. He aimdecl he kwen ahtt, adn ahstt yhw hes mceo to spake ihtw ouy. I told mhi you were plsaee. He alemdic to nkwo tath ardlaey oto, and adis ttash eth sareno hes eocm to speak with you. Wath anc I say to imh, yadl? sHe gto an naewsr orf nriegtvyeh.
OLIVIA Tell him he shall not speak with me.	IILAVO Tlel hmi hes ton oging to speak iwth me.
MALVOLIO Has been told so, and he says hell stand at your door like a sheriffs post, and be the supporter to a bench, but hell speak with you.	OILALOVM I ltod mih tath. He syas ehll adnst at oyur ordo elki a sotpgsin or a bhnce inult he esspak tihw oyu.
OLIVIA What kind o man is he?	OAIVLI atWh kndi of anm is he?
MALVOLIO Why, of mankind.	ILVOAMLO Juts a nma, like nay oreth.
OLIVIA What manner of man?	IAOVLI But whast he lkei?
MALVOLIO 140 Of very ill manner. Hell speak with you, will you or no.	AMLOOILV sHe rvey dure. He iistnss lleh speak hwit uyo weerhht oyu tawn hmi to or ton.
OLIVIA Of what personage and years is he?	IIOVLA athW sdoe he loko elik? wHo old is he?
MALVOLIO Not yet old enough for a man, nor young enough for a boy, as a squash is before tis a peascod, or a codling when tis almost an apple. Tis with him in standing water, between boy and man. He is very well-favored, and he speaks very shrewishly. One would think his mothers milk were scarce out of him.	AVOLMOIL Nto odl huegno to be a anm, tbu ont gunoy goenhu to be a oyb. Hse lkie a udb eberof it semceob a pea pdo, or ielk a llteit rneeg epalp ebeofr it segt gbi dna iepr. sHe oewesmhre eebwent oby nad amn. Hes vyre hnmsoade and sesakp wlle, btu hes rvey nuyog. He lokos elki he just eylnretc pdpeost fbgnestreaide.
OLIVIA Let him approach. Call in my gentlewoman.	AOVLII hwSo mih in. llaC in my mdia.
MALVOLIO Gentlewoman, my lady calls.	OLMAOIVL aaiMr, oru lyad atwns ouy.
Exit	LAMOOILV setix.
Enter MARIA	MIAAR sreten.
OLIVIA Give me my veil. Come, throw it oer my face. (OLIVIA puts on a veil) Well once more hear Orsinos embassy.	IOIALV viGe me my ielv. emCo, utp it vero my acfe. (OLIVIA utsp on erh lvie) ereW gonig to haer niorssO eapls angai.
Enter VIOLA , with attendants	OVAIL teresn, seeddrs as OEARCSI , with atandesttn.
VIOLA The honorable lady of the house, which is she?	AIOVL chWhi one of uyo is eth yadl of eht hosue?
OLIVIA Speak to me. I shall answer for her. Your will?	VIAOLI Yuo acn speak to me. I terspnree erh. tWah do ouy tnwa?
VIOLA Most radiant, exquisite and unmatchable beautyI pray you, tell me if this be the lady of the house, for I never saw her. I would be loath to cast away my speech, for besides that it is excellently well penned, I have taken great pains to con it. Good beauties, let me sustain no scorn. I am very comptible, even to the least sinister usage.	VAOLI ahWt nnigntus, qeitixseu, adn etaulabnhcm ubtetbayu sepeal, ltel me if eoyru teh aldy of eth euohs, ceesbua eIv rneev nsee hre. Id ahte to sweat my speech on eth orgnw pesron, seceaub sIt vrey elwl trienwt dna I nepst a lto of miet nda ygener irogmzienm it. Buultieaf easlid, laspee notd rttae me albyd. Im vrye seinvseit, and eevn the telslmas tib of usrsndee rshut my infglsee.
OLIVIA 160 Whence came you, sir?	LAIVOI Wrehe do uoy meco mfro, sri?
VIOLA I can say little more than I have studied, and that questions out of my part. Good gentle one, give me modest assurance if you be the lady of the house, that I may proceed in my speech.	OIAVL Im osyrr, utb I emoizrdme atwh Im peduposs to ays ehre dotya, dna thta ouintseq ints patr of hte pchees I aelnrde. Pesael, my ylda, sujt oncrfmi hatt uyeor the adly of the suhoe so I anc get on thiw my eecphs.
OLIVIA 165 Are you a comedian?	OIAVLI rAe ouy an aotcr?
VIOLA No, my profound heart. And yet, by the very fangs of malice I swear, I am not that I play. Are you the lady of the house?	OAVIL No, mamad. tBu I wesra Im ont eht osnepr Im glinpya. eAr uyo eth aldy of teh hoesu?
OLIVIA If I do not usurp myself, I am.	IVALOI I am, sesnul I oeshmwo teols isht erlo.
VIOLA Most certain, if you are she, you do usurp yourself, for what is yours to bestow is not yours to reserve. But this is from my commission. I will on with my speech in your praise and then show you the heart of my message.	OVLAI If uyroe eht lady of eht heosu, nhte tis rute yureo glstiean oyur lero, acubsee twsah rusoy to giev away is nto rosyu to kepe rfo sufleyor. Btu tahst not trpa of atwh Im sppesdou to ays. llI go on wthi my esecph isrnpaig you, dna enht Ill get to hte toipn.
OLIVIA Come to what is important in t. I forgive you the praise.	ILIAOV Get to eth tonip wno. llI let uoy egt awya htwi iisgknpp eth ispaer.
VIOLA 175 Alas, I took great pains to study it, and tis poetical.	IOLAV Ttash oot adb, auseebc I snetp a olgn ietm iginmozemr it, dna sti tepcio.
OLIVIA It is the more like to be feigned. I pray you, keep it in. I heard you were saucy at my gates and allowed your approach rather to wonder at you than to hear you. If you be not mad, be gone. If you have reason, be brief. Tis not that time of moon with me to make one in so skipping a dialogue.	IOAIVL Tath smane ist omer ielykl to be akfe. laeePs, epek it to osflyeru. I adhre uoy ewer rude henw ouy erwe gdiannts eusiodt my etga, adn satth hte noyl nosrea I elt you in. I asw uiuorsc. tuB I notd ssayrleienc atwn to iletsn to oyu. If ourye sjut nsneai, hetn tge otu of eher. If yueor in yruo higtr nmdi, tge to het iotpn. evI gto no encaetpi for ylacun at eht meonmt, and I ndot tnaw to atswe my mtie on uciluirdso cstnevasoionr.
MARIA Will you hoist sail, sir? Here lies your way.	MAIAR dayRe to ets lias, isr? heT oosdr hrigt eher.
VIOLA No, good swabber, I am to hull here a little longer. Some mollification for your giant, sweet lady.	VIOLA No, hist tsbao ndcogik ehre a tbi orenlg, ltliet oirlsa.My dlay, dowul ouy mnid isangk uroy antig hree to kcab ffo a bit?
OLIVIA 185 Tell me your mind.	IIOAVL eTll me tawh uoy tnaw.
VIOLA I am a messenger.	IVLAO I evah a sameseg to lvdeeir.
OLIVIA Sure, you have some hideous matter to deliver, when the courtesy of it is so fearful. Speak your office.	VOIAIL It tusm be a maeesgs baout nsimethog lboirher, icens uoy rvielde it so yledur. lelT me tawh sti autob.
VIOLA It alone concerns your ear. I bring no overture of war, no taxation of homage. I hold the olive in my hand. My words are as full of peace as matter.	OIVLA sIt btauo ouy. Im nto ignrbgni ayn taoslicdnera of arw or mdseadn orf hcsa. Im mongic in epeac.
OLIVIA Yet you began rudely. What are you? What would you?	LIVAOI But yuo abegn so eyurld. hoW are yuo? tWah do uoy nawt?
VIOLA The rudeness that hath appeared in me have I learned from my entertainment. What I am and what I would are as secret as maidenhead. To your ears, divinity. To any others, profanation.	VAIOL If I edemse edur, tis besuace of woh yldab I was eraettd wehn I tgo ehre. Woh I am nad whta I watn era a srtece. oYuer teh noyl eon I nca eshar the seecrt hitw. stI rsaedc, tjus orf yuo. sIt ont orf oaynen lees to erha.
OLIVIA Give us the place alone. We will hear this divinity.	OLVIAI voErneye, pseeal lvaee us aolne ofr a emonmt. veI tog a earsdc crtees to earh.
Exeunt MARIA and attendants	MIRAA nad dnsanettta txei.
Now, sir, what is your text?	wNo, ris, athws hits ohyl eecrst yuo dtwaen to tlel me?
VIOLA Most sweet lady	AIVLO Msto esewt lyad
OLIVIA A comfortable doctrine, and much may be said of it. Where lies your text?	ALIVIO Oh, teesw! It snduos leik a einc nad lnteeg kind of ifath. hersWe eth aagseps of holy crrituspe tath ruoey angsib yrou nrmsoe on?
VIOLA In Orsinos bosom.	LOIAV In onssOir ahter.
OLIVIA In his bosom? In what chapter of his bosom?	OVIILA In hsi etrah? In hwat tpreahc nda rvese of ish heart?
VIOLA To answer by the method, in the first of his heart.	VIAOL hTe btlae of notstenc ssay sti in the ifrst earphtc of ihs ahtre.
OLIVIA 205 Oh, I have read it. It is heresy. Have you no more to say?	ALOIIV Oh, Iev aerd ttha. aThst tno yolh, tsi yerehs. Do yuo ehav hgynitan slee to ays?
VIOLA Good madam, let me see your face.	VLOIA Mmdaa, esepla lte me see uryo cfae.
OLIVIA Have you any commission from your lord to negotiate with my face? You are now out of your text. But we will draw the curtain and show you the picture. Look you, sir, such a one I was this present. Is t not well done?	AOLVII aHs uryo rodl gevni you any serdor to eaigetnto tiwh my aecf? I ndto hntki so. Yoeru seppnegtvroi uyro sodnub now. tuB llI onep hte unrtaci and tel you ees het truceip. okoL, sir, tihs is a rpaoitrt of me as I am at this ruiparcatl meontm. tsI eptryt lewl oend, nits it?
OLIVIA removes her veil	LAVIOI eastk ffo reh evli.
VIOLA Excellently done, if God did all.	IVLAO It wsa oned txenlceyell, if ist lal-aulratn, eht ayw odG meda it.
OLIVIA Tis in grain, sir. Twill endure wind and weather.	AVILIO Oh, tis all-lrantua, irs. Wndi adn arin tanc whas it ffo.
VIOLA Tis beauty truly blent, whose red and white Natures own sweet and cunning hand laid on. 215 Lady, you are the cruelst she alive If you will lead these graces to the grave And leave the world no copy.	IVALO thsaT retu uabyet. Merhto Nrtaue eflhres paeintd royu kins so wheti nad uoyr psli so erd. My lady, ouyd be eth crseeult mnwoa ivela if oyu tel uyor ubetay die hitw you, wthi no nrciledh to inireht your ogod oolks for truefu onreniaegst to jyoen.
OLIVIA O, sir, I will not be so hard-hearted. I will give out divers schedules of my beauty. It shall be inventoried, and every particle and utensil labeled to my will: as, item, two lips indifferent red; item, two grey eyes, with lids to them; item, one neck, one chin, and so forth. Were you sent hither to praise me?	VIIOLA Oh, Id rveen be that lceur. llI lieinefydt do as oyu yas dan eavel my tbeyua rfo hte tres of the owdlr to eoynj. lIl iwter out a ladedtei niotenryv of my taeyub dna elalb yevre aprt. orF exampleitem: wot ispl, adirrony edr. Item: two gary esye, htwi idls on hetm. Item: eon nkce, noe ihnc, and so on. yayAwn, erwe ouy ntes reeh tujs to ellt me Im uultfbiae?
VIOLA I see you what you are, you are too proud. 225 But, if you were the devil, you are fair. My lord and master loves you. Oh, such love Could be but recompensed though you were crowned The nonpareil of beauty.	IOAVL I ese whta yreou eikl. ruYoe drpuo. Btu doyu llsti be rgseouog enev if you eewr as droup as eht vlide. My olrd oslev yuo. oYu lhsudo unrter a voel as pede as his, eevn if yeruo hte tmos eafbuluit aomwn in the rowld.
OLIVIA How does he love me?	VAILOI owH esdo he olve me?
VIOLA With adorations, fertile tears, 230 With groans that thunder love, with sighs of fire.	ALIVO He orased ouy. He csier dan norgas adn sihgs.
OLIVIA Your lord does know my mind. I cannot love him. Yet I suppose him virtuous, know him noble, Of great estate, of fresh and stainless youth.	VIIOLA rouY drlo ksonw twha I ihtnk. I cnta lveo him. Im resu ehs a vyer inec amn. I nwko seh onble, crih, yguon, adn ihtw a ienf unpitoreta. Plpoee asy seh rgnueeso, lewl utdedeca, nad varbe, dna hes revy atittcvear.
In voices well divulged, free, learned, and valiant; 235 And in dimension and the shape of nature A gracious person. But yet I cannot love him; He might have took his answer long ago.	tuB I tujs acnt love him. He uoslhd eahv gneiserd lmefshi to ttah a goln mtie oag.
VIOLA If I did love you in my masters flame, With such a suffering, such a deadly life, 240 In your denial I would find no sense; I would not understand it.	IVLAO If I odlve uoy as ypanossaeilt as my etmasr dseo, nad rseufdef klei he does, ruoy eitrjocne dwlou ekma no enses to me. I lntwodu ntdesaurnd it.
OLIVIA Why, what would you?	OVLAII atWh wuold you do otaub it?
VIOLA Make me a willow cabin at your gate And call upon my soul within the house. Write loyal cantons of contemned love 245 And sing them loud even in the dead of night. Halloo your name to the reverberate hills And make the babbling gossip of the air Cry out Olivia! Oh, you should not rest Between the elements of air and earth, 250 But you should pity me.	LVOIA Id iubld myslfe a dsa ltitel niabc nare rouy ouesh, erwhe my solsu roiesdipmn. Form atht nbcia Id call tuo to my solu. Id tiewr sad sgnso auobt deirnetuqu vloe nda gisn ethm uydlol in eth dledmi of hte igthn. Id utosh uyro name to hte sllhi and meak teh air hoce htwi oyur emna, Oavlii! Oh, you unodwtl be aelb to go nreyewha hiowttu leifgen yrros ofr me.
OLIVIA You might do much. What is your parentage?	LVOIAI otN dab; uoy tghmi scclpoamhi intoesmgh. hWo era your asetrnp?
VIOLA Above my fortunes, yet my state is well. I am a gentleman.	ILAVO I saw obnr to a eghrhi stioopni ntah veI ogt own. tuB Im stlli aiylrf hghi-ankgnri. Im a mganneelt.
OLIVIA Get you to your lord. I cannot love him. Let him send no more 255 Unless perchance you come to me again To tell me how he takes it. Fare you well. I thank you for your pains. Spend this for me.	VOIIAL Go abkc to yuro dorl. I ntca olve ihm. llTe ihm ton to dnes yna orem uesrmngnssselees uyo flee klie goncmi back to ltel me owh he koto eth dba eswn. edGyoob. hnaTks orf your luetobr. erseH emso mnoye fro you.
OLIVIA offers VIOLA money	ILOVAI fofers OLAIV enymo
VIOLA I am no feed post, lady. Keep your purse. My master, not myself, lacks recompense. 260 Love make his heart of flint that you shall love, And let your fervor, like my masters, be Placed in contempt. Farewell, fair cruelty.	ALOVI Im otn a apdi grssemeen, my lyda. eepK uroy eonym. sIt my restam hswo nto nitgtge eth edawrr he srveeesd, otn me. I oehp yuo allf in velo iwht a nam hosew herat is adrh as a rcok dna woh tatsre oruy oevl eikl a bgi ekjo, sjtu klie oeyvu eond. oboyeGd, you bilaetuuf, lucer onmwa.
Exit	OVLAI seixt.
OLIVIA What is your parentage? Above my fortunes, yet my state is well. 265 I am a gentleman. Ill be sworn thou art; Thy tongue, thy face, thy limbs, actions, and spirit, Do give thee fivefold blazon. Not too fast! Soft, soft! Unless the master were the man. How now? Even so quickly may one catch the plague? 270 Methinks I feel this youths perfections With an invisible and subtle stealth To creep in at mine eyes. Well, let it be. What ho, Malvolio!	VIOLIA Woh era ryuo psrenta? I swa rbon to a hreigh poosniti athn Iev ogt nwo. But Im lilts ayrilf ihhg-nrnagik. Im a etanmgnel. sYe, Im ersu uoy are. ouYr ywa of ntglaki, uyor feac, oryu boyd, your hovrbiea, dan your vnestisei lsuo all ovrep oruye a lnemanteg. Ah, no. Caml donw, lmca odwn. If yonl his odlr weer meor leki imh. How stegran Im flieeng! naC seooemn flla in vleo hsti qkulicy? I anc eefl sthi yogun mans etciepronf iregecnp in thrhugo my eeys eilk msoe nidk of aedssie, lswloy and yvnilbisi. Oh, llew.ooMalivl! oeCm reeh!
Enter MALVOLIO	OMVILOLA etesrn.
MALVOLIO Here, madam, at your service.	OVOLMLIA At royu risecev, mdama.
OLIVIA Run after that same peevish messenger, 275 The countys man. He left this ring behind him, Would I or not. Tell him Ill none of it. OLIVIA hands him a ring Desire him not to flatter with his lord, Nor hold him up with hopes. I am not for him. 280 If that the youth will come this way tomorrow, Ill give him reasons for t. Hie thee, Malvolio.	AVLIOI uRn erfta htta ouisobnox smengsree, eth uedks rnevsat. He ntssiide on neavlgi tsih grni whit me rhtwehe I dentaw it or nto. Tell mih I twna thngoni to do whit it. (ehs dsnha mhi a rign) Aks him nto to acurengoe rnsioO or to tge his hopes up. Im otn orf him. If tath ygnuo amn mscoe ereh angia oormrowt, lIl ellt him yhw. uHryr, oviMolal.
MALVOLIO Madam, I will.	OIVOALML aMmda, I will.
Exit	LMOIOLAV tiexs.
OLIVIA I do I know not what and fear to find Mine eye too great a flatterer for my mind. 285 Fate, show thy force. Ourselves we do not owe. What is decreed must be, and be this so.	AOVLII I tdon okwn waht Im dgoin. Im aiafdr Im tno uinsg my hdea, nda Im lialngf rof ish ogod ksool. tFae, do uroy kwor. We umnha bginse otdn oltcnro oru own sestienid. taWh is dftea to ahepnp tmsu phaenp. So let it enhppa!
Exit	LIVAOI tseix.