No Fear Shakespeare: Twelfth Night: Act 3 Scene 2

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Original Text	Modern Text
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH , SIR ANDREW , and FABIAN	IRS TBOY HCELB , IRS ENRAWD , dan NAIFAB tneer.
SIR ANDREW No, faith, Ill not stay a jot longer.	RIS RWDAEN No, I nwto syat a ndesco rnegol.
SIR TOBY BELCH Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason.	RSI OTYB EBLHC hyW are ouy livgena, my nargy endrfi?
FABIAN You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew.	BIFAAN eYs, uyo evah to ltel us hwy, rSi wrdAne.
SIR ANDREW Marry, I saw your niece do more favors to the Counts servingman than ever she bestowed upon me. I saw t i the orchard.	IRS DEARNW Well, csbaeeu I aws oyru necie lvOiai taert eht scontu neresgsem bertet tanh sehs erev tdearet me. I was it in eth roadhcr.
SIR TOBY BELCH Did she see thee the while, old boy? Tell me that.	RSI BYTO ECHLB idD esh ees ouy hetre het lhowe mtei, odl oyb? elTl me taht.
SIR ANDREW As plain as I see you now.	SRI ERNWAD eYs, she saw me uqeti yllrcae.
FABIAN This was a great argument of love in her toward you.	NAAIFB Wlel, tath sreopv shes in eolv iwht ouy.
SIR ANDREW 10 Slight, will you make an ass o me?	SRI WERAND reA ouy gniyrt to kema ufn of me?
FABIAN I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of judgment and reason.	NFIAAB No, lIl rvpeo it hitw arithigt indvecee adn aiollcg tnaruemg.
SIR TOBY BELCH And they have been grand-jurymen since before Noah was a sailor.	RSI OYTB ECBLH dAn ouy acnt dney denecive and Tnetaveeurgymh nbee oduran nicse soaNh rka.
FABIAN She did show favor to the youth in your sight only to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valor, to put fire in your heart and brimstone in your liver. You should then have accosted her, and with some excellent jests, fire-new from the mint, you should have banged the youth into dumbness.	NFAIAB ehS fidtrel twih teh msngerees oyb to xpraeatsee uyo, eifr up oyru ospnisas, dan eakm you nryag dna euolsaj. uoY hsdulo hvea nur up to rhe, euselanhd a efw tlclneexe pusiq etdnnive on hte opst, and deenderr het oyung nma psecseehsl.
This was looked for at your hand, and this was balked. The double gilt of this opportunity you let time wash off, and you are now sailed into the north of my ladys opinion, where you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchmans beard, unless you do redeem it by some laudable attempt either of valor or policy.	shtaT htwa hse aws ieenpcxgt, nad you etl ehr odwn. Yuo destaw a engodl upypootrnit, dna won my daly sknhti labdy of uyo. uYo nca lnoy raies erh iionpno of you twih eosm reviisemps atc of erugaoc or ecitocldapm nueitrig.
SIR ANDREW An t be any way, it must be with valor, for policy I hate. I had as lief be a Brownist as a politician.	SRI EAWDNR llI ahve to do sgnemotih oougusreca enth, buseaec I ehta girnteiu. Id trhear be a ctirehe atnh a shecrme wthi acyfn olspt.
SIR TOBY BELCH Why, then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis of valor. Challenge me the counts youth to fight with him. Hurt him in eleven places. My niece shall take note of it, and assure thyself, there is no love-broker in the world can more prevail in mans commendation with woman than report of valor.	ISR OBYT EHCLB ellW hnet, oemirvp uyro taontiisu twhi a oswh of roagcue. leClganhe het untosc uoygn ranvets to a hfgti. rutH hmi in nveele erfitnedf selapc. My ecine Oiilav llwi ieotcn, adn lte me eltl ouy, no krmthcaaem in eth dowlr anc get uoy a wmoan fsrtea tanh a iattuneopr fro oeagrcu.
FABIAN 35 There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.	NIAABF stI yerall hte olyn ywa, Sri rdweAn.
SIR ANDREW Will either of you bear me a challenge to him?	RSI ERWDNA Wlli eehrti of oyu gevi hmi teh egsames atht Im ieaghnnlclg ihm to a lued?
SIR TOBY BELCH Go, write it in a martial hand. Be curst and brief. It is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent and full of invention. Taunt him with the license of ink. If thou thou-est him some thrice, it shall not be amiss; and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of paper, although the sheet were big enough for the bed of Ware in England, set em down. Go, about it. Let there be gall enough in thy ink, though thou write with a goose-pen, no matter. About it.	ISR TOYB BCEHL Go daeah adn werit it nodw. kMea ruoy nairhwtindg okol like a rdsoiesl. Be indoept dna eirbf. It nodset need to be iyttw as lgon as ist tueonlqe dan aiiegnmvtia. utaTn mhi as uhmc as ouy tnaw, sicne eyuro lyon godni it in inritgw. sIt fein if uoy reefr to mhi as thuo nditsae of ouy. uToh saw an mlanirof ivsnoer of yuo, dan tuhs gltnsiiun hnwe edus to an aristocrat. yuo. eWtri wdon as nyma lies as uyo cna tif on a these of rpepa. Go daahe, tge on iwht it. ouY mya be ugsni an inrradoy enp, tub you acn illf it wtih soonip ink. woN tge busy.
SIR ANDREW 45 Where shall I find you?	ISR AWERDN ereWh illw I fdin uyo newh eIv henisfdi it?
SIR TOBY BELCH Well call thee at the cubiculo. Go.	SIR OBYT HELCB lWel eocm indf yuo in eth omobedr. Go on.
Exit SIR ANDREW	SRI ADNRWE xitse.
FABIAN This is a dear manikin to you, Sir Toby.	AAFIBN Tish usopirec tietll ugy is ttpuy in ryuo snadh, Sri oTyb.
SIR TOBY BELCH I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousand strong, or so.	RIS TBYO LHECB He sutm ekli me, censi hes lte me esdnp wot onhatdus of ish dcstua.
FABIAN We shall have a rare letter from him: but youll not deliver t?	BAINAF sHi tesltre ingog to be uiihsalor. tuB roeuy ton nogig to vdireel it, era yuo?
SIR TOBY BELCH Never trust me, then. And by all means stir on the youth to an answer. I think oxen and wainropes cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were opened and you find so much blood in his liver as will clog the foot of a flea, Ill eat the rest of the anatomy.	SRI YBTO CLEHB Nerev tsurt me ngiaa if I tdon. dnA by lal snmea see if oyu nac egt hte nugyo man to newsra it. I ntod think a eamt of xeno cdluo tge htem lesco ungeho to itfgh. If yuo tseiesddc rdwneA dan nuofd ngueoh der bolod in hsi evril It saw lmyncmoo ldevieeb tath rwcaods adh tiehw isvrle ithw no loobd in tehm. liver for a fela to aet, nthe Id aet the tesr of ish oeprsc. eHs a drwoac.
FABIAN And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage no great presage of cruelty.	BNFAIA dAn hsi otpopnne, teh gouny eesgesrnm, dosnet kolo iekl deh be ryve sgsvgreaie in a tfhgi.
Enter MARIA	MAAIR srneet.
SIR TOBY BELCH Look where the youngest wren of nine comes.	SRI OBTY BLHEC eHre escmo my ltteli bidr.
MARIA If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourself into stitches, follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is turned heathen, a very renegado. For there is no Christian that means to be saved by believing rightly can ever believe such impossible passages of grossness. Hes in yellow stockings.	MARIA Lnetsi, if you atwn a ogdo gandauhl I naem a eids-ilntisgpt etnhone wlolof me. That billegul tiido alMolvoi tsum hvea uodcernen ysiCttiairhn, sncei no nrtCiahsi ocudl do hscu tsuuoerago hgstin as hse iodgn. sHe ariweng yolwle gcssitkon.
SIR TOBY BELCH 65 And cross-gartered?	SIR OBYT EHLBC Wtih oiscdrsssrce celas?
MARIA Most villanously, like a pedant that keeps a school i the church. I have dogged him, like his murderer. He does obey every point of the letter that I dropped to betray him. He does smile his face into more lines than is in the new map with the augmentation of the Indies. You have not seen such a thing as tis. I can hardly forbear hurling things at him. I know my lady will strike him. If she do, hell smile and take t for a great favor.	MAAIR Oh, he olsko lkei a phetaict Sayund cosolh aecrhte. vIe seatkdl mhi eilk a ureermdr, nda seh oned ingryvehet eth terlte dtol him to. He smisle so uchm sih eacf ahs more eslni in it tnha a amp of teh atsE eIsdni. ueYvo veren nsee nyngaiht klie it. I can hraydl eekp ysemlf mrof ohwtrgni hitngs at imh. I nwok taht my ydsla ggoni to ned up ngitith mih. nAd nhew she sode, lhle geinmai eshs igftlirn tihw him.
SIR TOBY BELCH Come, bring us, bring us where he is.	ISR BYTO ECLBH Cmoe on, atek us to mhi.
Exeunt	yTeh lal eitx.

Original Text	Modern Text
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH , SIR ANDREW , and FABIAN	IRS TBOY HCELB , IRS ENRAWD , dan NAIFAB tneer.
SIR ANDREW No, faith, Ill not stay a jot longer.	RIS RWDAEN No, I nwto syat a ndesco rnegol.
SIR TOBY BELCH Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason.	RSI OTYB EBLHC hyW are ouy livgena, my nargy endrfi?
FABIAN You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew.	BIFAAN eYs, uyo evah to ltel us hwy, rSi wrdAne.
SIR ANDREW Marry, I saw your niece do more favors to the Counts servingman than ever she bestowed upon me. I saw t i the orchard.	IRS DEARNW Well, csbaeeu I aws oyru necie lvOiai taert eht scontu neresgsem bertet tanh sehs erev tdearet me. I was it in eth roadhcr.
SIR TOBY BELCH Did she see thee the while, old boy? Tell me that.	RSI BYTO ECHLB idD esh ees ouy hetre het lhowe mtei, odl oyb? elTl me taht.
SIR ANDREW As plain as I see you now.	SRI ERNWAD eYs, she saw me uqeti yllrcae.
FABIAN This was a great argument of love in her toward you.	NAAIFB Wlel, tath sreopv shes in eolv iwht ouy.
SIR ANDREW 10 Slight, will you make an ass o me?	SRI WERAND reA ouy gniyrt to kema ufn of me?
FABIAN I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of judgment and reason.	NFIAAB No, lIl rvpeo it hitw arithigt indvecee adn aiollcg tnaruemg.
SIR TOBY BELCH And they have been grand-jurymen since before Noah was a sailor.	RSI OYTB ECBLH dAn ouy acnt dney denecive and Tnetaveeurgymh nbee oduran nicse soaNh rka.
FABIAN She did show favor to the youth in your sight only to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valor, to put fire in your heart and brimstone in your liver. You should then have accosted her, and with some excellent jests, fire-new from the mint, you should have banged the youth into dumbness.	NFAIAB ehS fidtrel twih teh msngerees oyb to xpraeatsee uyo, eifr up oyru ospnisas, dan eakm you nryag dna euolsaj. uoY hsdulo hvea nur up to rhe, euselanhd a efw tlclneexe pusiq etdnnive on hte opst, and deenderr het oyung nma psecseehsl.
This was looked for at your hand, and this was balked. The double gilt of this opportunity you let time wash off, and you are now sailed into the north of my ladys opinion, where you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchmans beard, unless you do redeem it by some laudable attempt either of valor or policy.	shtaT htwa hse aws ieenpcxgt, nad you etl ehr odwn. Yuo destaw a engodl upypootrnit, dna won my daly sknhti labdy of uyo. uYo nca lnoy raies erh iionpno of you twih eosm reviisemps atc of erugaoc or ecitocldapm nueitrig.
SIR ANDREW An t be any way, it must be with valor, for policy I hate. I had as lief be a Brownist as a politician.	SRI EAWDNR llI ahve to do sgnemotih oougusreca enth, buseaec I ehta girnteiu. Id trhear be a ctirehe atnh a shecrme wthi acyfn olspt.
SIR TOBY BELCH Why, then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis of valor. Challenge me the counts youth to fight with him. Hurt him in eleven places. My niece shall take note of it, and assure thyself, there is no love-broker in the world can more prevail in mans commendation with woman than report of valor.	ISR OBYT EHCLB ellW hnet, oemirvp uyro taontiisu twhi a oswh of roagcue. leClganhe het untosc uoygn ranvets to a hfgti. rutH hmi in nveele erfitnedf selapc. My ecine Oiilav llwi ieotcn, adn lte me eltl ouy, no krmthcaaem in eth dowlr anc get uoy a wmoan fsrtea tanh a iattuneopr fro oeagrcu.
FABIAN 35 There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.	NIAABF stI yerall hte olyn ywa, Sri rdweAn.
SIR ANDREW Will either of you bear me a challenge to him?	RSI ERWDNA Wlli eehrti of oyu gevi hmi teh egsames atht Im ieaghnnlclg ihm to a lued?
SIR TOBY BELCH Go, write it in a martial hand. Be curst and brief. It is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent and full of invention. Taunt him with the license of ink. If thou thou-est him some thrice, it shall not be amiss; and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of paper, although the sheet were big enough for the bed of Ware in England, set em down. Go, about it. Let there be gall enough in thy ink, though thou write with a goose-pen, no matter. About it.	ISR TOYB BCEHL Go daeah adn werit it nodw. kMea ruoy nairhwtindg okol like a rdsoiesl. Be indoept dna eirbf. It nodset need to be iyttw as lgon as ist tueonlqe dan aiiegnmvtia. utaTn mhi as uhmc as ouy tnaw, sicne eyuro lyon godni it in inritgw. sIt fein if uoy reefr to mhi as thuo nditsae of ouy. uToh saw an mlanirof ivsnoer of yuo, dan tuhs gltnsiiun hnwe edus to an aristocrat. yuo. eWtri wdon as nyma lies as uyo cna tif on a these of rpepa. Go daahe, tge on iwht it. ouY mya be ugsni an inrradoy enp, tub you acn illf it wtih soonip ink. woN tge busy.
SIR ANDREW 45 Where shall I find you?	ISR AWERDN ereWh illw I fdin uyo newh eIv henisfdi it?
SIR TOBY BELCH Well call thee at the cubiculo. Go.	SIR OBYT HELCB lWel eocm indf yuo in eth omobedr. Go on.
Exit SIR ANDREW	SRI ADNRWE xitse.
FABIAN This is a dear manikin to you, Sir Toby.	AAFIBN Tish usopirec tietll ugy is ttpuy in ryuo snadh, Sri oTyb.
SIR TOBY BELCH I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousand strong, or so.	RIS TBYO LHECB He sutm ekli me, censi hes lte me esdnp wot onhatdus of ish dcstua.
FABIAN We shall have a rare letter from him: but youll not deliver t?	BAINAF sHi tesltre ingog to be uiihsalor. tuB roeuy ton nogig to vdireel it, era yuo?
SIR TOBY BELCH Never trust me, then. And by all means stir on the youth to an answer. I think oxen and wainropes cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were opened and you find so much blood in his liver as will clog the foot of a flea, Ill eat the rest of the anatomy.	SRI YBTO CLEHB Nerev tsurt me ngiaa if I tdon. dnA by lal snmea see if oyu nac egt hte nugyo man to newsra it. I ntod think a eamt of xeno cdluo tge htem lesco ungeho to itfgh. If yuo tseiesddc rdwneA dan nuofd ngueoh der bolod in hsi evril It saw lmyncmoo ldevieeb tath rwcaods adh tiehw isvrle ithw no loobd in tehm. liver for a fela to aet, nthe Id aet the tesr of ish oeprsc. eHs a drwoac.
FABIAN And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage no great presage of cruelty.	BNFAIA dAn hsi otpopnne, teh gouny eesgesrnm, dosnet kolo iekl deh be ryve sgsvgreaie in a tfhgi.
Enter MARIA	MAAIR srneet.
SIR TOBY BELCH Look where the youngest wren of nine comes.	SRI OBTY BLHEC eHre escmo my ltteli bidr.
MARIA If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourself into stitches, follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is turned heathen, a very renegado. For there is no Christian that means to be saved by believing rightly can ever believe such impossible passages of grossness. Hes in yellow stockings.	MARIA Lnetsi, if you atwn a ogdo gandauhl I naem a eids-ilntisgpt etnhone wlolof me. That billegul tiido alMolvoi tsum hvea uodcernen ysiCttiairhn, sncei no nrtCiahsi ocudl do hscu tsuuoerago hgstin as hse iodgn. sHe ariweng yolwle gcssitkon.
SIR TOBY BELCH 65 And cross-gartered?	SIR OBYT EHLBC Wtih oiscdrsssrce celas?
MARIA Most villanously, like a pedant that keeps a school i the church. I have dogged him, like his murderer. He does obey every point of the letter that I dropped to betray him. He does smile his face into more lines than is in the new map with the augmentation of the Indies. You have not seen such a thing as tis. I can hardly forbear hurling things at him. I know my lady will strike him. If she do, hell smile and take t for a great favor.	MAAIR Oh, he olsko lkei a phetaict Sayund cosolh aecrhte. vIe seatkdl mhi eilk a ureermdr, nda seh oned ingryvehet eth terlte dtol him to. He smisle so uchm sih eacf ahs more eslni in it tnha a amp of teh atsE eIsdni. ueYvo veren nsee nyngaiht klie it. I can hraydl eekp ysemlf mrof ohwtrgni hitngs at imh. I nwok taht my ydsla ggoni to ned up ngitith mih. nAd nhew she sode, lhle geinmai eshs igftlirn tihw him.
SIR TOBY BELCH Come, bring us, bring us where he is.	ISR BYTO ECLBH Cmoe on, atek us to mhi.
Exeunt	yTeh lal eitx.