No Fear Shakespeare: Twelfth Night: Act 3 Scene 2

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Original Text	Modern Text
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH , SIR ANDREW , and FABIAN	SRI OYTB HBLEC , IRS ENDWAR , dan AFBINA ntree.
SIR ANDREW No, faith, Ill not stay a jot longer.	IRS DWRANE No, I notw saty a ndceso nregol.
SIR TOBY BELCH Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason.	RSI YTOB HBCEL Wyh rae you nialevg, my angry nfredi?
FABIAN You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew.	IBNFAA esY, uyo evah to letl us hwy, iSr dnrewA.
SIR ANDREW Marry, I saw your niece do more favors to the Counts servingman than ever she bestowed upon me. I saw t i the orchard.	SIR RWNEDA lleW, uaesbec I wsa ryuo icnee viliOa teatr teh tocusn seegermns betetr hatn shes ever taedert me. I saw it in hte hoacrrd.
SIR TOBY BELCH Did she see thee the while, old boy? Tell me that.	SIR TOBY BEHCL idD seh ese uoy rteeh hte hwloe imte, old yob? lelT me ahtt.
SIR ANDREW As plain as I see you now.	RIS RNEDWA esY, hes swa me teqiu allycer.
FABIAN This was a great argument of love in her toward you.	ANAFIB ellW, atth vprose hses in lvoe thwi oyu.
SIR ANDREW 10 Slight, will you make an ass o me?	ISR ARENDW erA uyo ntriyg to maek unf of me?
FABIAN I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of judgment and reason.	IABANF No, lIl orvpe it hwit itrtahig vceiedne nad clligoa eantgrmu.
SIR TOBY BELCH And they have been grand-jurymen since before Noah was a sailor.	IRS YBOT HECBL nAd uyo tnca dyne eiecdenv nda erumvetayTengh eneb uonrda iesnc Nhosa kra.
FABIAN She did show favor to the youth in your sight only to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valor, to put fire in your heart and brimstone in your liver. You should then have accosted her, and with some excellent jests, fire-new from the mint, you should have banged the youth into dumbness.	BFAANI ehS dfeirtl whit eth gensmesre oyb to esxataeper you, erif up uoyr ssspinoa, nad emak you ranyg dan eoljasu. ouY huolsd avhe urn up to hre, hdunesela a wef neletxecl qpusi nvniedte on eth stop, nda reddneer the noyug nma ssepeehlcs.
This was looked for at your hand, and this was balked. The double gilt of this opportunity you let time wash off, and you are now sailed into the north of my ladys opinion, where you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchmans beard, unless you do redeem it by some laudable attempt either of valor or policy.	tTahs hwta esh asw egincetxp, nad oyu etl rhe wdon. oYu sdeatw a odlnge rytpopniuto, dan won my daly itnskh dbayl of uoy. uoY cna nylo easri rhe noinoip of you ihtw meos iesspreimv tca of raouecg or etmidopalcc tnureiig.
SIR ANDREW An t be any way, it must be with valor, for policy I hate. I had as lief be a Brownist as a politician.	ISR RNWEDA llI aehv to do hgsotinem eoarcgouus etnh, asbeeuc I etha gntueiri. Id terhra be a ehtecri anht a esrcemh tiwh fnyca ostlp.
SIR TOBY BELCH Why, then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis of valor. Challenge me the counts youth to fight with him. Hurt him in eleven places. My niece shall take note of it, and assure thyself, there is no love-broker in the world can more prevail in mans commendation with woman than report of valor.	ISR YOBT BLEHC lleW hnet, poimrev ryuo stnoiauit hwit a hwso of rucoage. lhegnealC eht ncouts oygun nrsavet to a fhtgi. Hrtu him in lenvee iferfetnd elspac. My eecin laOiiv lliw eticno, nad etl me tlle ouy, no emkahacrmt in eth wodlr nac get you a monwa tfraes atnh a enorattupi rof eocruag.
FABIAN 35 There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.	NIAFAB tIs eylarl het yonl yaw, riS nrAwde.
SIR ANDREW Will either of you bear me a challenge to him?	SRI WDEARN llWi erihet of oyu vgei mih the egeassm atht Im geclnagnlhi mhi to a lude?
SIR TOBY BELCH Go, write it in a martial hand. Be curst and brief. It is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent and full of invention. Taunt him with the license of ink. If thou thou-est him some thrice, it shall not be amiss; and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of paper, although the sheet were big enough for the bed of Ware in England, set em down. Go, about it. Let there be gall enough in thy ink, though thou write with a goose-pen, no matter. About it.	RIS BTYO CEHLB Go daeah nda rwtie it wndo. aMek yrou riindnwgtha okol eikl a dslsiroe. Be dtioepn nda refib. It todnes ende to be wyitt as gnlo as sit oelqnetu nad tvinaeimiag. tunTa mih as mchu as uyo tnaw, scine reuyo ylon doing it in irintwg. tsI eifn if uyo rfeer to mhi as hout atsdnie of oyu. oTuh swa an rfanmloi rsvnioe of yuo, nda utsh tsnlgiuni wnhe desu to an aristocrat. ouy. etriW wdno as namy lesi as uoy nca fti on a eesht of eparp. Go ahead, tge on thwi it. uYo aym be usngi an rndyaori pen, utb you can llif it twih onispo nik. oNw get yubs.
SIR ANDREW 45 Where shall I find you?	SIR RAEWDN Wereh ilwl I dnif uyo newh Ive fdhinise it?
SIR TOBY BELCH Well call thee at the cubiculo. Go.	ISR OBYT LHEBC lWel eocm idfn oyu in the medbroo. Go on.
Exit SIR ANDREW	RIS REWDNA ixtse.
FABIAN This is a dear manikin to you, Sir Toby.	NFBIAA Tish oucrpesi iteltl ugy is utpty in uoyr sdanh, iSr oybT.
SIR TOBY BELCH I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousand strong, or so.	SIR OYBT HCLEB He mtsu lkei me, sceni esh tel me npsde wot nouhtsda of ish satcdu.
FABIAN We shall have a rare letter from him: but youll not deliver t?	AINABF His lerttse ogngi to be olhiiuras. utB oruey ont igong to derilve it, rea uoy?
SIR TOBY BELCH Never trust me, then. And by all means stir on the youth to an answer. I think oxen and wainropes cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were opened and you find so much blood in his liver as will clog the foot of a flea, Ill eat the rest of the anatomy.	IRS BTYO HBLEC Nrvee urtst me inaag if I odtn. ndA by all mensa see if oyu acn tge het ogyun nma to wnrase it. I odtn itnhk a tmae of enox dulco egt ethm oeslc ughnoe to tgihf. If you ssecedtid dwerAn nad funod hunoeg der bolod in hsi ivler It aws mnlcoomy ildebeve ttah cradosw adh ewtih silevr htiw no bldoo in hetm. liver fro a efal to aet, tenh Id tae the erts of sih cperos. eHs a cwarod.
FABIAN And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage no great presage of cruelty.	AFAIBN dnA his optnnpeo, het ngoyu nerseegms, teosnd oklo ilek ehd be yrve sgvirgease in a htifg.
Enter MARIA	MAARI eesrnt.
SIR TOBY BELCH Look where the youngest wren of nine comes.	SRI BOYT EBLHC reHe meocs my tlitel idrb.
MARIA If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourself into stitches, follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is turned heathen, a very renegado. For there is no Christian that means to be saved by believing rightly can ever believe such impossible passages of grossness. Hes in yellow stockings.	AAMRI tsneiL, if uyo tanw a doog andulgah I amne a dies-pisigttnl nonehte lolwfo me. atTh gellbiul itoid vloliMao tmus have endcoernu yaristihniCt, ncies no Csrtihina udlco do csuh soragoutue gnthis as hse gnodi. eHs rianwge owlley itsskncgo.
SIR TOBY BELCH 65 And cross-gartered?	RIS YOBT BEHCL itWh rosersiccssd lseac?
MARIA Most villanously, like a pedant that keeps a school i the church. I have dogged him, like his murderer. He does obey every point of the letter that I dropped to betray him. He does smile his face into more lines than is in the new map with the augmentation of the Indies. You have not seen such a thing as tis. I can hardly forbear hurling things at him. I know my lady will strike him. If she do, hell smile and take t for a great favor.	RMIAA Oh, he ksool keli a icethtap ydnaSu holcso hareetc. veI ltdkeas mhi lkie a emerrurd, nda hes deon ityhengrve teh eetlrt tdlo ihm to. He smseli so mhuc ish fcea hsa omre niesl in it tanh a apm of teh aEst indIes. uvYeo venre nees annhyitg klei it. I acn hdyral ekpe ymslfe morf oinrgwth ihtnsg at mih. I knwo taht my ysald giong to ned up ihntigt hmi. dnA newh she edos, lehl mingiae sesh lgirtnfi ihwt mhi.
SIR TOBY BELCH Come, bring us, bring us where he is.	IRS YBTO BLECH oCem on, teka us to imh.
Exeunt	hTey all etix.

Original Text	Modern Text
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH , SIR ANDREW , and FABIAN	SRI OYTB HBLEC , IRS ENDWAR , dan AFBINA ntree.
SIR ANDREW No, faith, Ill not stay a jot longer.	IRS DWRANE No, I notw saty a ndceso nregol.
SIR TOBY BELCH Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason.	RSI YTOB HBCEL Wyh rae you nialevg, my angry nfredi?
FABIAN You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew.	IBNFAA esY, uyo evah to letl us hwy, iSr dnrewA.
SIR ANDREW Marry, I saw your niece do more favors to the Counts servingman than ever she bestowed upon me. I saw t i the orchard.	SIR RWNEDA lleW, uaesbec I wsa ryuo icnee viliOa teatr teh tocusn seegermns betetr hatn shes ever taedert me. I saw it in hte hoacrrd.
SIR TOBY BELCH Did she see thee the while, old boy? Tell me that.	SIR TOBY BEHCL idD seh ese uoy rteeh hte hwloe imte, old yob? lelT me ahtt.
SIR ANDREW As plain as I see you now.	RIS RNEDWA esY, hes swa me teqiu allycer.
FABIAN This was a great argument of love in her toward you.	ANAFIB ellW, atth vprose hses in lvoe thwi oyu.
SIR ANDREW 10 Slight, will you make an ass o me?	ISR ARENDW erA uyo ntriyg to maek unf of me?
FABIAN I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of judgment and reason.	IABANF No, lIl orvpe it hwit itrtahig vceiedne nad clligoa eantgrmu.
SIR TOBY BELCH And they have been grand-jurymen since before Noah was a sailor.	IRS YBOT HECBL nAd uyo tnca dyne eiecdenv nda erumvetayTengh eneb uonrda iesnc Nhosa kra.
FABIAN She did show favor to the youth in your sight only to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valor, to put fire in your heart and brimstone in your liver. You should then have accosted her, and with some excellent jests, fire-new from the mint, you should have banged the youth into dumbness.	BFAANI ehS dfeirtl whit eth gensmesre oyb to esxataeper you, erif up uoyr ssspinoa, nad emak you ranyg dan eoljasu. ouY huolsd avhe urn up to hre, hdunesela a wef neletxecl qpusi nvniedte on eth stop, nda reddneer the noyug nma ssepeehlcs.
This was looked for at your hand, and this was balked. The double gilt of this opportunity you let time wash off, and you are now sailed into the north of my ladys opinion, where you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchmans beard, unless you do redeem it by some laudable attempt either of valor or policy.	tTahs hwta esh asw egincetxp, nad oyu etl rhe wdon. oYu sdeatw a odlnge rytpopniuto, dan won my daly itnskh dbayl of uoy. uoY cna nylo easri rhe noinoip of you ihtw meos iesspreimv tca of raouecg or etmidopalcc tnureiig.
SIR ANDREW An t be any way, it must be with valor, for policy I hate. I had as lief be a Brownist as a politician.	ISR RNWEDA llI aehv to do hgsotinem eoarcgouus etnh, asbeeuc I etha gntueiri. Id terhra be a ehtecri anht a esrcemh tiwh fnyca ostlp.
SIR TOBY BELCH Why, then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis of valor. Challenge me the counts youth to fight with him. Hurt him in eleven places. My niece shall take note of it, and assure thyself, there is no love-broker in the world can more prevail in mans commendation with woman than report of valor.	ISR YOBT BLEHC lleW hnet, poimrev ryuo stnoiauit hwit a hwso of rucoage. lhegnealC eht ncouts oygun nrsavet to a fhtgi. Hrtu him in lenvee iferfetnd elspac. My eecin laOiiv lliw eticno, nad etl me tlle ouy, no emkahacrmt in eth wodlr nac get you a monwa tfraes atnh a enorattupi rof eocruag.
FABIAN 35 There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.	NIAFAB tIs eylarl het yonl yaw, riS nrAwde.
SIR ANDREW Will either of you bear me a challenge to him?	SRI WDEARN llWi erihet of oyu vgei mih the egeassm atht Im geclnagnlhi mhi to a lude?
SIR TOBY BELCH Go, write it in a martial hand. Be curst and brief. It is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent and full of invention. Taunt him with the license of ink. If thou thou-est him some thrice, it shall not be amiss; and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of paper, although the sheet were big enough for the bed of Ware in England, set em down. Go, about it. Let there be gall enough in thy ink, though thou write with a goose-pen, no matter. About it.	RIS BTYO CEHLB Go daeah nda rwtie it wndo. aMek yrou riindnwgtha okol eikl a dslsiroe. Be dtioepn nda refib. It todnes ende to be wyitt as gnlo as sit oelqnetu nad tvinaeimiag. tunTa mih as mchu as uyo tnaw, scine reuyo ylon doing it in irintwg. tsI eifn if uyo rfeer to mhi as hout atsdnie of oyu. oTuh swa an rfanmloi rsvnioe of yuo, nda utsh tsnlgiuni wnhe desu to an aristocrat. ouy. etriW wdno as namy lesi as uoy nca fti on a eesht of eparp. Go ahead, tge on thwi it. uYo aym be usngi an rndyaori pen, utb you can llif it twih onispo nik. oNw get yubs.
SIR ANDREW 45 Where shall I find you?	SIR RAEWDN Wereh ilwl I dnif uyo newh Ive fdhinise it?
SIR TOBY BELCH Well call thee at the cubiculo. Go.	ISR OBYT LHEBC lWel eocm idfn oyu in the medbroo. Go on.
Exit SIR ANDREW	RIS REWDNA ixtse.
FABIAN This is a dear manikin to you, Sir Toby.	NFBIAA Tish oucrpesi iteltl ugy is utpty in uoyr sdanh, iSr oybT.
SIR TOBY BELCH I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousand strong, or so.	SIR OYBT HCLEB He mtsu lkei me, sceni esh tel me npsde wot nouhtsda of ish satcdu.
FABIAN We shall have a rare letter from him: but youll not deliver t?	AINABF His lerttse ogngi to be olhiiuras. utB oruey ont igong to derilve it, rea uoy?
SIR TOBY BELCH Never trust me, then. And by all means stir on the youth to an answer. I think oxen and wainropes cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were opened and you find so much blood in his liver as will clog the foot of a flea, Ill eat the rest of the anatomy.	IRS BTYO HBLEC Nrvee urtst me inaag if I odtn. ndA by all mensa see if oyu acn tge het ogyun nma to wnrase it. I odtn itnhk a tmae of enox dulco egt ethm oeslc ughnoe to tgihf. If you ssecedtid dwerAn nad funod hunoeg der bolod in hsi ivler It aws mnlcoomy ildebeve ttah cradosw adh ewtih silevr htiw no bldoo in hetm. liver fro a efal to aet, tenh Id tae the erts of sih cperos. eHs a cwarod.
FABIAN And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage no great presage of cruelty.	AFAIBN dnA his optnnpeo, het ngoyu nerseegms, teosnd oklo ilek ehd be yrve sgvirgease in a htifg.
Enter MARIA	MAARI eesrnt.
SIR TOBY BELCH Look where the youngest wren of nine comes.	SRI BOYT EBLHC reHe meocs my tlitel idrb.
MARIA If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourself into stitches, follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is turned heathen, a very renegado. For there is no Christian that means to be saved by believing rightly can ever believe such impossible passages of grossness. Hes in yellow stockings.	AAMRI tsneiL, if uyo tanw a doog andulgah I amne a dies-pisigttnl nonehte lolwfo me. atTh gellbiul itoid vloliMao tmus have endcoernu yaristihniCt, ncies no Csrtihina udlco do csuh soragoutue gnthis as hse gnodi. eHs rianwge owlley itsskncgo.
SIR TOBY BELCH 65 And cross-gartered?	RIS YOBT BEHCL itWh rosersiccssd lseac?
MARIA Most villanously, like a pedant that keeps a school i the church. I have dogged him, like his murderer. He does obey every point of the letter that I dropped to betray him. He does smile his face into more lines than is in the new map with the augmentation of the Indies. You have not seen such a thing as tis. I can hardly forbear hurling things at him. I know my lady will strike him. If she do, hell smile and take t for a great favor.	RMIAA Oh, he ksool keli a icethtap ydnaSu holcso hareetc. veI ltdkeas mhi lkie a emerrurd, nda hes deon ityhengrve teh eetlrt tdlo ihm to. He smseli so mhuc ish fcea hsa omre niesl in it tanh a apm of teh aEst indIes. uvYeo venre nees annhyitg klei it. I acn hdyral ekpe ymslfe morf oinrgwth ihtnsg at mih. I knwo taht my ysald giong to ned up ihntigt hmi. dnA newh she edos, lehl mingiae sesh lgirtnfi ihwt mhi.
SIR TOBY BELCH Come, bring us, bring us where he is.	IRS YBTO BLECH oCem on, teka us to imh.
Exeunt	hTey all etix.