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No Fear Translations
No Fear Audio
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Original Text |
Modern Text |
Enter MARIA and FOOL
|
Enter MARIA and FOOL
|
MARIA Nay, I prithee, put on this gown and this beard. Make him believe thou art Sir Topas the curate. Do it quickly. I’ll call Sir Toby the whilst.
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MARIA Nay, I prithee, put on this gown and this beard. Make him believe thou art Sir Topas the curate. Do it quickly. I’ll call Sir Toby the whilst.
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Exit
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Exit
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FOOL Well, I’ll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in ’t, and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown.
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FOOL Well, I’ll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in ’t, and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown.
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FOOL puts on gown and beard
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FOOL puts on gown and beard
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I am not tall enough to become the function well, nor lean enough to be thought a good student, but to be said an honest man and a good housekeeper goes as fairly as to say a careful man and a great scholar. The competitors enter.
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I am not tall enough to become the function well, nor lean enough to be thought a good student, but to be said an honest man and a good housekeeper goes as fairly as to say a careful man and a great scholar. The competitors enter.
|
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA
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Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA
|
SIR TOBY BELCH 10 Jove bless thee, master Parson.
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SIR TOBY BELCH Jove bless thee, master Parson.
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FOOL Bonos dies, Sir Toby. For, as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of King Gorboduc, “That that is is.” So I, being Master Parson, am Master Parson. For, what is “that” but “that,” and “is” but “is”?
|
FOOL Bonos dies, Sir Toby. For, as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of King Gorboduc, “That that is is.” So I, being Master Parson, am Master Parson. For, what is “that” but “that,” and “is” but “is”?
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SIR TOBY BELCH To him, Sir Topas.
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SIR TOBY BELCH To him, Sir Topas.
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FOOL (disguising his voice) What ho, I say! Peace in this prison!
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FOOL (disguising his voice) What ho, I say! Peace in this prison!
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SIR TOBY BELCH The knave counterfeits well. A good knave.
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SIR TOBY BELCH The knave counterfeits well. A good knave.
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MALVOLIO (from within) Who calls there?
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MALVOLIO (from within) Who calls there?
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FOOL |
FOOL |
MALVOLIO Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady—
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MALVOLIO Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady—
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FOOL Out, hyperbolical fiend! How vexest thou this man! Talkest thou nothing but of ladies?
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FOOL Out, hyperbolical fiend! How vexest thou this man! Talkest thou nothing but of ladies?
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SIR TOBY BELCH 25 (aside) Well said, Master Parson.
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SIR TOBY BELCH (aside) Well said, Master Parson.
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MALVOLIO Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged. Good Sir Topas, do not think I am mad. They have laid me here in hideous darkness.
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MALVOLIO Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged. Good Sir Topas, do not think I am mad. They have laid me here in hideous darkness.
|
FOOL Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most modest terms, for I am one of those gentle ones that will use the devil himself with courtesy. Sayest thou that house is dark?
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FOOL Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most modest terms, for I am one of those gentle ones that will use the devil himself with courtesy. Sayest thou that house is dark?
|
MALVOLIO As hell, Sir Topas.
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MALVOLIO As hell, Sir Topas.
|
FOOL Why, it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clerestories toward the south-north are as lustrous as ebony. And yet complainest thou of obstruction?
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FOOL Why, it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clerestories toward the south-north are as lustrous as ebony. And yet complainest thou of obstruction?
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MALVOLIO I am not mad, Sir Topas. I say to you this house is dark.
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MALVOLIO I am not mad, Sir Topas. I say to you this house is dark.
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FOOL Madman, thou errest. I say, there is no darkness but ignorance, in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog.
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FOOL Madman, thou errest. I say, there is no darkness but ignorance, in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog.
|
MALVOLIO |
MALVOLIO |
FOOL What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wildfowl?
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FOOL What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wildfowl?
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MALVOLIO 45 That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird.
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MALVOLIO That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird.
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FOOL What thinkest thou of his opinion?
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FOOL What thinkest thou of his opinion?
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MALVOLIO I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.
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MALVOLIO I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.
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FOOL Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness. Thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras ere I will allow of thy wits, and fear to kill a woodcock lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well.
|
FOOL Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness. Thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras ere I will allow of thy wits, and fear to kill a woodcock lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well.
|
MALVOLIO Sir Topas, Sir Topas!
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MALVOLIO Sir Topas, Sir Topas!
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SIR TOBY BELCH My most exquisite Sir Topas!
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SIR TOBY BELCH My most exquisite Sir Topas!
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FOOL Nay, I am for all waters.
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FOOL Nay, I am for all waters.
|
MARIA 55 Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and gown.
He sees thee not.
|
MARIA Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and gown.
He sees thee not.
|
SIR TOBY BELCH To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him. I would we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were, for I am now so far in offense with my niece that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber.
|
SIR TOBY BELCH To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him. I would we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were, for I am now so far in offense with my niece that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber.
|
Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA
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Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA
|
FOOL (sings in his own voice)
Hey, Robin, jolly Robin,
|
FOOL (sings in his own voice)
Hey, Robin, jolly Robin,
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MALVOLIO Fool!
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MALVOLIO Fool!
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FOOL (sings) My lady is unkind, perdy.
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FOOL (sings) My lady is unkind, perdy.
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MALVOLIO Fool!
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MALVOLIO Fool!
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FOOL (sings) Alas, why is she so?
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FOOL (sings) Alas, why is she so?
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MALVOLIO 70 Fool, I say!
|
MALVOLIO Fool, I say!
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FOOL (sings) She loves another—Who calls, ha?
|
FOOL (sings) She loves another—Who calls, ha?
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MALVOLIO Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper. As I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for ’t.
|
MALVOLIO Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper. As I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for ’t.
|
FOOL 75 Master Malvolio?
|
FOOL Master Malvolio?
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MALVOLIO Ay, good fool.
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MALVOLIO Ay, good fool.
|
FOOL Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits?
|
FOOL Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits?
|
MALVOLIO Fool, there was never a man so notoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, Fool, as thou art.
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MALVOLIO Fool, there was never a man so notoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, Fool, as thou art.
|
FOOL |
FOOL |
MALVOLIO They have here propertied me, keep me in darkness, send ministers to me—asses!—and do all they can to face me out of my wits.
|
MALVOLIO They have here propertied me, keep me in darkness, send ministers to me—asses!—and do all they can to face me out of my wits.
|
FOOL |
FOOL |
MALVOLIO Sir Topas!
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MALVOLIO Sir Topas!
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FOOL |
FOOL |
MALVOLIO Fool, fool, fool, I say!
|
MALVOLIO Fool, fool, fool, I say!
|
FOOL |
FOOL |
MALVOLIO Good fool, help me to some light and some paper. I tell thee, I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria.
|
MALVOLIO Good fool, help me to some light and some paper. I tell thee, I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria.
|
FOOL Well-a-day that you were, sir.
|
FOOL Well-a-day that you were, sir.
|
MALVOLIO |
MALVOLIO |
FOOL I will help you to ’t. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed? Or do you but counterfeit?
|
FOOL I will help you to ’t. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed? Or do you but counterfeit?
|
MALVOLIO 105 Believe me, I am not. I tell thee true.
|
MALVOLIO Believe me, I am not. I tell thee true.
|
FOOL Nay, I’ll ne'er believe a madman till I see his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink.
|
FOOL Nay, I’ll ne'er believe a madman till I see his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink.
|
MALVOLIO Fool, I’ll requite it in the highest degree. I prithee, be gone.
|
MALVOLIO Fool, I’ll requite it in the highest degree. I prithee, be gone.
|
FOOL (sings)
And anon, sir,
I’ll be with you again,
In a trice,
Like to the old Vice,
Who, with dagger of lath
In his rage and his wrath,
Cries “Aha,” to the devil,
Like a mad lad,
Adieu, goodman devil.”
|
FOOL (sings)
And anon, sir,
I’ll be with you again,
In a trice,
Like to the old Vice,
Who, with dagger of lath
In his rage and his wrath,
Cries “Aha,” to the devil,
Like a mad lad,
Adieu, goodman devil.”
|
Exit
|
Exit
|
Original Text |
Modern Text |
Enter MARIA and FOOL
|
Enter MARIA and FOOL
|
MARIA Nay, I prithee, put on this gown and this beard. Make him believe thou art Sir Topas the curate. Do it quickly. I’ll call Sir Toby the whilst.
|
MARIA Nay, I prithee, put on this gown and this beard. Make him believe thou art Sir Topas the curate. Do it quickly. I’ll call Sir Toby the whilst.
|
Exit
|
Exit
|
FOOL Well, I’ll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in ’t, and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown.
|
FOOL Well, I’ll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in ’t, and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown.
|
FOOL puts on gown and beard
|
FOOL puts on gown and beard
|
I am not tall enough to become the function well, nor lean enough to be thought a good student, but to be said an honest man and a good housekeeper goes as fairly as to say a careful man and a great scholar. The competitors enter.
|
I am not tall enough to become the function well, nor lean enough to be thought a good student, but to be said an honest man and a good housekeeper goes as fairly as to say a careful man and a great scholar. The competitors enter.
|
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA
|
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA
|
SIR TOBY BELCH 10 Jove bless thee, master Parson.
|
SIR TOBY BELCH Jove bless thee, master Parson.
|
FOOL Bonos dies, Sir Toby. For, as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of King Gorboduc, “That that is is.” So I, being Master Parson, am Master Parson. For, what is “that” but “that,” and “is” but “is”?
|
FOOL Bonos dies, Sir Toby. For, as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of King Gorboduc, “That that is is.” So I, being Master Parson, am Master Parson. For, what is “that” but “that,” and “is” but “is”?
|
SIR TOBY BELCH To him, Sir Topas.
|
SIR TOBY BELCH To him, Sir Topas.
|
FOOL (disguising his voice) What ho, I say! Peace in this prison!
|
FOOL (disguising his voice) What ho, I say! Peace in this prison!
|
SIR TOBY BELCH The knave counterfeits well. A good knave.
|
SIR TOBY BELCH The knave counterfeits well. A good knave.
|
MALVOLIO (from within) Who calls there?
|
MALVOLIO (from within) Who calls there?
|
FOOL |
FOOL |
MALVOLIO Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady—
|
MALVOLIO Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady—
|
FOOL Out, hyperbolical fiend! How vexest thou this man! Talkest thou nothing but of ladies?
|
FOOL Out, hyperbolical fiend! How vexest thou this man! Talkest thou nothing but of ladies?
|
SIR TOBY BELCH 25 (aside) Well said, Master Parson.
|
SIR TOBY BELCH (aside) Well said, Master Parson.
|
MALVOLIO Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged. Good Sir Topas, do not think I am mad. They have laid me here in hideous darkness.
|
MALVOLIO Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged. Good Sir Topas, do not think I am mad. They have laid me here in hideous darkness.
|
FOOL Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most modest terms, for I am one of those gentle ones that will use the devil himself with courtesy. Sayest thou that house is dark?
|
FOOL Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most modest terms, for I am one of those gentle ones that will use the devil himself with courtesy. Sayest thou that house is dark?
|
MALVOLIO As hell, Sir Topas.
|
MALVOLIO As hell, Sir Topas.
|
FOOL Why, it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clerestories toward the south-north are as lustrous as ebony. And yet complainest thou of obstruction?
|
FOOL Why, it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clerestories toward the south-north are as lustrous as ebony. And yet complainest thou of obstruction?
|
MALVOLIO I am not mad, Sir Topas. I say to you this house is dark.
|
MALVOLIO I am not mad, Sir Topas. I say to you this house is dark.
|
FOOL Madman, thou errest. I say, there is no darkness but ignorance, in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog.
|
FOOL Madman, thou errest. I say, there is no darkness but ignorance, in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog.
|
MALVOLIO |
MALVOLIO |
FOOL What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wildfowl?
|
FOOL What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wildfowl?
|
MALVOLIO 45 That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird.
|
MALVOLIO That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird.
|
FOOL What thinkest thou of his opinion?
|
FOOL What thinkest thou of his opinion?
|
MALVOLIO I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.
|
MALVOLIO I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.
|
FOOL Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness. Thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras ere I will allow of thy wits, and fear to kill a woodcock lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well.
|
FOOL Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness. Thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras ere I will allow of thy wits, and fear to kill a woodcock lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well.
|
MALVOLIO Sir Topas, Sir Topas!
|
MALVOLIO Sir Topas, Sir Topas!
|
SIR TOBY BELCH My most exquisite Sir Topas!
|
SIR TOBY BELCH My most exquisite Sir Topas!
|
FOOL Nay, I am for all waters.
|
FOOL Nay, I am for all waters.
|
MARIA 55 Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and gown.
He sees thee not.
|
MARIA Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and gown.
He sees thee not.
|
SIR TOBY BELCH To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him. I would we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were, for I am now so far in offense with my niece that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber.
|
SIR TOBY BELCH To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him. I would we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were, for I am now so far in offense with my niece that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber.
|
Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA
|
Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA
|
FOOL (sings in his own voice)
Hey, Robin, jolly Robin,
|
FOOL (sings in his own voice)
Hey, Robin, jolly Robin,
|
MALVOLIO Fool!
|
MALVOLIO Fool!
|
FOOL (sings) My lady is unkind, perdy.
|
FOOL (sings) My lady is unkind, perdy.
|
MALVOLIO Fool!
|
MALVOLIO Fool!
|
FOOL (sings) Alas, why is she so?
|
FOOL (sings) Alas, why is she so?
|
MALVOLIO 70 Fool, I say!
|
MALVOLIO Fool, I say!
|
FOOL (sings) She loves another—Who calls, ha?
|
FOOL (sings) She loves another—Who calls, ha?
|
MALVOLIO Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper. As I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for ’t.
|
MALVOLIO Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper. As I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for ’t.
|
FOOL 75 Master Malvolio?
|
FOOL Master Malvolio?
|
MALVOLIO Ay, good fool.
|
MALVOLIO Ay, good fool.
|
FOOL Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits?
|
FOOL Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits?
|
MALVOLIO Fool, there was never a man so notoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, Fool, as thou art.
|
MALVOLIO Fool, there was never a man so notoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, Fool, as thou art.
|
FOOL |
FOOL |
MALVOLIO They have here propertied me, keep me in darkness, send ministers to me—asses!—and do all they can to face me out of my wits.
|
MALVOLIO They have here propertied me, keep me in darkness, send ministers to me—asses!—and do all they can to face me out of my wits.
|
FOOL |
FOOL |
MALVOLIO Sir Topas!
|
MALVOLIO Sir Topas!
|
FOOL |
FOOL |
MALVOLIO Fool, fool, fool, I say!
|
MALVOLIO Fool, fool, fool, I say!
|
FOOL |
FOOL |
MALVOLIO Good fool, help me to some light and some paper. I tell thee, I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria.
|
MALVOLIO Good fool, help me to some light and some paper. I tell thee, I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria.
|
FOOL Well-a-day that you were, sir.
|
FOOL Well-a-day that you were, sir.
|
MALVOLIO |
MALVOLIO |
FOOL I will help you to ’t. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed? Or do you but counterfeit?
|
FOOL I will help you to ’t. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed? Or do you but counterfeit?
|
MALVOLIO 105 Believe me, I am not. I tell thee true.
|
MALVOLIO Believe me, I am not. I tell thee true.
|
FOOL Nay, I’ll ne'er believe a madman till I see his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink.
|
FOOL Nay, I’ll ne'er believe a madman till I see his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink.
|
MALVOLIO Fool, I’ll requite it in the highest degree. I prithee, be gone.
|
MALVOLIO Fool, I’ll requite it in the highest degree. I prithee, be gone.
|
FOOL (sings)
And anon, sir,
I’ll be with you again,
In a trice,
Like to the old Vice,
Who, with dagger of lath
In his rage and his wrath,
Cries “Aha,” to the devil,
Like a mad lad,
Adieu, goodman devil.”
|
FOOL (sings)
And anon, sir,
I’ll be with you again,
In a trice,
Like to the old Vice,
Who, with dagger of lath
In his rage and his wrath,
Cries “Aha,” to the devil,
Like a mad lad,
Adieu, goodman devil.”
|
Exit
|
Exit
|
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