Twelfth Night

by: William Shakespeare

Act 1 Scene 3

page Act 1 Scene 3 Page 1

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Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA
SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA enter.

SIR TOBY BELCH

What a plague means my niece, to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure care’s an enemy to life.

SIR TOBY BELCH

What’s wrong with my niece? Why is she reacting so strangely to her brother’s death? Grief is bad for people’s health.

MARIA

By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o' nights. Your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions to your ill hours.

MARIA

For God’s sake, Sir Toby, you’ve got to come home earlier at night. My lady Olivia, your niece, disapproves of your late-night partying.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Why, let her except, before excepted.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Well, she can get used to it.

MARIA

Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order.

MARIA

Yes, but you need to keep yourself within the limits of order and decency.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Confine? I’ll confine myself no finer than I am. These clothes are good enough to drink in, and so be these boots too. An they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Keep myself? The only thing I’m keeping myself in is the clothes I’m wearing. They’re good enough to drink in, and so are these boots. If they aren’t, they can go hang themselves by their own laces!

MARIA

That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard my lady talk of it yesterday, and of a foolish knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer.

MARIA

You’re going to destroy yourself with all this drinking. Lady Olivia said so yesterday. She also mentioned some stupid knight you brought in one night as a possible husband for her.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Who, Sir Andrew Aguecheek?

SIR TOBY BELCH

Who, Sir Andrew Aguecheek?

MARIA

Ay, he.

MARIA

Yes, that’s the one.

SIR TOBY BELCH

He’s as tall a man as any ’s in Illyria.

SIR TOBY BELCH