Twelfth Night

by: William Shakespeare

Original Text

Modern Text

MARIA

O Lord!

MARIA

Oh, Lord!

SIR TOBY BELCH

(to MARIA) Prithee, hold thy peace. This is not the way. Do you not see you move him? Let me alone with him.

SIR TOBY BELCH

(to MARIA) Please, keep quiet. This is not the way to act. Don’t you see you’re upsetting him? Leave me alone with him.

FABIAN

No way but gentleness, gently, gently. The fiend is rough and will not be roughly used.

FABIAN

Gentleness is the only way to go—gently, gently. The devil inside him is rough, but we can’t treat it roughly.

SIR TOBY BELCH

(to MALVOLIO) Why, how now, my bawcock! How dost thou, chuck?

SIR TOBY BELCH

(to the imaginary devil inside MALVOLIO) So how are you, my pretty little bird? How are you doing in there, sweet little chicken?

MALVOLIO

105Sir!

MALVOLIO

Sir!

SIR TOBY BELCH

Ay, Biddy, come with me.—What, man! 'Tis not for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan. Hang him, foul collier!

SIR TOBY BELCH

Yes, dear little chick, come along with me.—Shut up, man! You’re serious enough to know not to play games with Satan. Damn that dirty black coalminer of a devil!

MARIA

Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby, get him to pray.

MARIA

Get him to say his prayers, Sir Toby, get him to pray.

MALVOLIO

110My prayers, minx?

MALVOLIO

My prayers, you hussy?

MARIA

(to SIR TOBY BELCH) No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness.

MARIA

(to SIR TOBY BELCH) No, I’m telling you, he refuses to hear anything about religion.

MALVOLIO

Go, hang yourselves all! You are idle, shallow things. I am not of your element. You shall know more hereafter.

MALVOLIO

Go hang yourselves, all of you! You’re all lazy and shallow. I’m not like you. I have a higher future waiting for me. You’ll know more about it later.
Exit
MALVOLIO exits.