Twelfth Night

by: William Shakespeare

  Act 3 Scene 4

page Act 3 Scene 4 Page 8

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SIR TOBY BELCH

Give me. (reads) “Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou art but a scurvy fellow.”

SIR TOBY BELCH

Give it to me. (he reads) “Young man, whatever you are, you’re a real scum bucket.”

FABIAN

135Good, and valiant.

FABIAN

Nice. Very courageous.

SIR TOBY BELCH

(reads) “Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for ’t.”

SIR TOBY BELCH

(reading) “Don’t even ask why I call you that, because I won’t give you any explanation.”

FABIAN

A good note, that keeps you from the blow of the law.

FABIAN

That’s a good thing to put in—it keeps you from getting in trouble with the law.

SIR TOBY BELCH

(reads) “Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in my sight she uses thee kindly. But thou liest in thy throat. That is not the matter I challenge thee for.”

SIR TOBY BELCH

(reading) “You come to see the lady Olivia, and she’s kind to you. But you’re a complete liar. That’s not why I’m challenging you to a duel.”

FABIAN

Very brief, and to exceeding good sense—less.

FABIAN

Nice and short and full of good sense—or should I say nonsense?

SIR TOBY BELCH

(reads) “I will waylay thee going home, where if it be thy chance to kill me—”

SIR TOBY BELCH

(reading) “I’ll ambush you on your way home, and if you’re lucky enough to kill me—”

FABIAN

145Good.

FABIAN

Good.

SIR TOBY BELCH

(reads) “Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain.”

SIR TOBY BELCH

(reading) “You’ll be killing me like a common criminal, a mugger.”

FABIAN

Still you keep o' the windy side of the law. Good.

FABIAN

You still haven’t said anything incriminating. Good.

SIR TOBY BELCH

(reads) “Fare thee well, and God have mercy upon one of our souls. He may have mercy upon mine, but my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy,
   Andrew Aguecheek”

SIR TOBY BELCH

(reading) “Good luck, and may God have mercy on one of our souls. He may have mercy upon mine. But I have a better chance of surviving, so watch out. Signed, your friend, if you treat him right, and your sworn enemy,
    Andrew Aguecheek”