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Enter MARIA and the FOOL
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MARIA Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I will not open
my lips so wide as a bristle may enter in way of thy excuse.
My lady will hang thee for thy absence.
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MARIA No. Either tell me where you’ve been, or I won’t make any excuses for you to Lady Olivia. Lady Olivia will have you executed for not showing up.
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FOOL Let her hang me. He that is well hanged in this world needs
to fear no colors.
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FOOL So let her execute me. Anyone who’s executed doesn’t have to be afraid of anything he sees.
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MARIA Make that good.
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MARIA How do you know?
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FOOL He shall see none to fear.
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FOOL Well, he’ll be dead, so he won’t see anything.
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MARIA A good lenten answer. I can tell thee where that saying was
born, of “I fear no colors.”
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MARIA That’s a lame answer. By the way, I know where you get all your brave talk about not being afraid of anything.
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FOOL
10Where, good Mistress Mary?
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FOOL Where, good Miss Mary?
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MARIA In the wars. And that may you be bold to say in your
foolery.
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MARIA From soldiers. But you’ll never see the front lines. It’s easy for you to talk about bravery, working as a fool in this palace.
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FOOL Well, God give them wisdom that have it. And those that
are fools, let them use their talents.
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FOOL Well, we all have our special gifts. Some people are born wise; those of us who were meant to be fools should do what they do best.
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MARIA
15Yet you will be hanged for being so long absent. Or to be
turned away, is not that as good as a hanging to you?
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MARIA But still, she’s going to kill you for being gone so long. Or at least fire you. And wouldn’t that be as bad for you as being killed?
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