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has no more brain than a stone. Look you now, he’s out of
his guard already. Unless you laugh and minister occasion
to him, he is gagged. I protest I take these wise men that
crow so at these set kind of fools no better than the fools'
zanies.
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battle of wits by an ordinary jester with no more brains than a rock. Look at him, he’s at a loss for words already. Unless he’s got somebody laughing at him, he can’t think of anything to say. I swear, anyone smart who laughs at these courts jesters is nothing but a jester’s apprentice.
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OLIVIA Oh, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio, and taste with a
distempered appetite. To be generous, guiltless, and of free
disposition is to take those things for bird-bolts that you
deem cannon-bullets. There is no slander in an allowed
fool, though he do nothing but rail. Nor no railing in a
known discreet man, though he do nothing but reprove.
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OLIVIA Malvolio, your vanity is damaging your good taste. If you were generous, innocent, and good-natured, you wouldn’t get so upset by what the fool says. You’d think of his wisecracks as harmless little firecrackers, not hurtful bullets. A court jester isn’t really criticizing people, even if he does nothing but make fun of them all day long. And a wise person doesn’t make fun of people, even if all he does is criticize them.
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FOOL Now Mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou speakest
well of fools!
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FOOL You speak so highly of fools! I hope the god of deception rewards you by making you a wonderful liar.
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Enter MARIA
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MARIA enters.
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MARIA
90Madam, there is at the gate a young gentleman much
desires to speak with you.
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MARIA Madam, there’s a young gentleman at the gate who really wants to speak to you.
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OLIVIA From the Count Orsino, is it?
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OLIVIA Was he sent by Count Orsino?
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MARIA I know not, madam. 'Tis a fair young man, and well
attended.
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MARIA I don’t know, madam. He’s a good-looking young man, and there are a lot of people with him.
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OLIVIA
95Who of my people hold him in delay?
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OLIVIA Who’s talking to him now?
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MARIA Sir Toby, madam, your kinsman.
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MARIA Sir Toby, madam, your relative.
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OLIVIA Fetch him off, I pray you. He speaks nothing but madman.
Fie on him!
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OLIVIA Send Toby away, please. He talks nothing but nonsense.
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