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Twelfth Night

William Shakespeare

  Act 2 Scene 3

page Act 2 Scene 3 Page 6

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SIR TOBY BELCH

100 (sings) Shall I bid him go?

SIR TOBY BELCH

(singing) Should I tell him to go?

FOOL

(sings) What an if you do?

FOOL

(singing) What if y,ou do?

SIR TOBY BELCH

(sings) Shall I bid him go, and spare not?

SIR TOBY BELCH

(singing) Should I tell him to go, and be harsh with him?

FOOL

(sings) O no, no, no, no, you dare not.

FOOL

(singing) Oh no, no, no, no, don’t you dare.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Out o' tune, sir. You lie. Art any more than a steward? Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?

SIR TOBY BELCH

That’s out of tune, sir. You lie. (to MALVOLIO) You’re nothing more than a servant here. Do you think that just because you’re a goody two shoes, no one else can enjoy himself?

FOOL

Yes, by Saint Anne, and ginger shall be hot i' the mouth too.

FOOL

They certainly will. They’ll have double helpings, too.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Thou'rt i' the right. Go, sir, rub your chain with crumbs. A stoup of wine, Maria!

SIR TOBY BELCH

You’re right. (to MALVOLIO) Go polish your steward’s chain, sir. Maria, bring us some wine!

MALVOLIO

110Mistress Mary, if you prized my lady’s favor at anything more than contempt, you would not give means for this uncivil rule. She shall know of it, by this hand.

MALVOLIO

Miss Mary, if you cared what Lady Olivia thinks about you at all, you wouldn’t contribute to this rude behavior. I assure you, she’ll find out about this.
Exit
MALVOLIO exits.

MARIA

Go shake your ears!

MARIA

Go and wiggle your ears!

SIR ANDREW

'Twere as good a deed as to drink when a man’s a-hungry, to challenge him the field and then to break promise with him and make a fool of him.

SIR ANDREW

There’s nothing I’d love more than to make a fool out of that guy somehow. I could challenge him to a duel and then not show up. That would do the trick.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Do ’t, knight. I’ll write thee a challenge. Or I’ll deliver thy indignation to him by word of mouth.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Do that. I’ll write a letter challenging him to a duel on your behalf. Or I’ll deliver your insults to his face.