“I’m not going to be part of this war you think is coming. You say I should be a weapon, not a pawn—they seem like the same to me. The only difference is who’s wielding it.”

In this quote from Chapter 11, Feyre is expressing one of her driving motivations: to be a free agent, not a tool used by those around her for their own ends. Rhysand has offered her a position working for him, harnessing her so-far unexplored magical potential to help him track down certain artifacts to use as weapons in the looming war against the King of Hybern. Ironically, Feyre has been begging Tamlin to let her be useful, to let her do something active. However, in this speech, she articulates her suspicions about Rhysand’s motivations and her resistance to the idea of being a mere tool employed to carry out the wishes of others.

“I don’t want to hear you tell me that you decided I was to be kept in the dark while your friends knew, while you all decided what was right for me.”

In this quotation from Chapter 50, Feyre is furious after learning that Rhysand withheld from her the crucial information that he was her mate. Her rage highlights her need for control and agency in her own life. She is particularly resistant to the idea of others making decisions on her behalf in the belief that they know what is best for her. This is partly because of Tamlin’s overprotectiveness after they escaped from Under the Mountain, and partly because of the trauma of having all control taken from her when she was a prisoner. Feyre does not want to be treated like a child, placing her safety and well-being in the hands of others. Nor does she want to be used as a tool, carrying out somebody else’s wishes without knowing why.  

“You might be my mate," he said, "but you remain your own person. You decide your fate—your choices. Not me. You chose yesterday. You choose every day. Forever.”

In Chapter 60, Rhysand demonstrates why he makes such an ideal mate for Feyre. Although he is the most powerful High Lord in Prythian’s history, he accepts and even encourages Feyre’s free agency and independence. Notably, Rhysand doesn’t enforce the bargain he made with Feyre Under the Mountain until she reaches out for help from anybody or anything to prevent her marriage to Tamlin. In this way, Rhysand contrasts favorably with Tamlin, who has been changed by his experience Under the Mountain into an overly controlling partner with an explosive temper. Feyre believes that Rhysand’s understanding of her need for agency comes from the fact that he too was once helpless and without choices. However, there is still an element of power play in Rhysand’s declaration regarding Feyre’s independence. It is implied that Feyre gets to choose only because Rhysand allows her to do so.