What I mean, girl, is you keep trying. One thing after another. Sometimes just one, sometimes all three, but you have to keep trying. I don't have to tell you that, do I?

Gram answers Dicey's question about how to know when to reach out, when to hold on, and when to let go when they are on the train from Boston to Wilmington in Chapter 11. Gram's answer is confused and indeterminate, as she tries to explain to Dicey that there is no clear-cut answer to how best to relate to others and build a life rich in connections and love. Dicey is unhappy with the answer, but she sense that Gram speaks the truth that relating to others will never be easy or predictable. As far as Gram is concerned, human relationships turn out the way they want to, but the only true failure of another person is giving up on them.