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Desdemona was still looking at me but her eyes had gone dreamy. She was smiling. And then she said, “My spoon was right.”
“I guess so.”
“I’m sorry, honey. I’m sorry this happen to you.”
“It’s all right.”
“I’m sorry, honey mou.”
“I like my life,” I told her. “I’m going to have a good life.”

This conversation between Desdemona and Cal appears in Chapter 28 when Desdemona recognizes Cal as Calliope and confesses that Lefty was her brother. This moment finally breaks the cycle of secrets in the Stephanides family, allowing for the hope of renewal. Desdemona and Lefty’s incest has long been a secret that Desdemona could not even discuss with Lefty himself. Throughout his life, Lefty insisted that they can leave the truth of their relationship behind and live in self-deception, ignoring Desdemona’s awareness of the truth and her fears of consequences. Lefty and Desdemona grow farther apart because of their inability to communicate about the secret between them, and after Lefty’s death, Desdemona is left alone with her guilt. When Desdemona tells Cal the truth, she allows someone into her secret life, creating a moment of genuine intimacy and understanding between them. The healing power of this moment is symbolized by Desdemona’s lucidity in the midst of her increasing memory loss.

This moment is also significant because Cal absolves Desdemona of her perceived guilt, freeing both her and himself from accusations of monstrosity. Desdemona has long believed that her sin dooms her offspring. Following the logic of Fard’s sermon on tricknology, she sees herself as monstrous for committing incest and all the worse for never giving her children and grandchildren a chance to be “good.” When Cal promises her that he likes himself and will live a good life, he breaks the chain of her logic. If Cal can see his body as something positive, Desdemona has not caused irreparable harm. Although Cal still struggles with his body at this point, he has decided that he does not regret running from Dr. Luce’s surgical intervention. He may not yet have reached the moment where he trusts others with his body, but he no longer laments how he’s made.

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