The next morning, while Nurse Duckett is smoothing the sheets at the foot of his bed, Yossarian thrusts his hand up her skirt. She shrieks and rushes away, and Dunbar grabs her bosom from behind. When a furious doctor finally rescues her, Yossarian tries to plead insanity—he says that he has a recurring dream about a fish. He is assigned an appointment with Major Sanderson, the hospital psychiatrist. Sanderson, however, is more interested in discussing his own problems than Yossarian’s. Yossarian’s friends visit him in the hospital, Dobbs again offers to kill Colonel Cathcart, and, finally, after Yossarian admits that he thinks that people are trying to kill him and that he has not adjusted to the war, Major Sanderson decides that Yossarian really is crazy and should be sent home. But, because of the identity mix-up perpetrated by Yossarian and Dunbar earlier in their hospital stay, there is a mistake, and A. Fortiori is sent home instead. Furious, Yossarian goes to see Doc Daneeka, but Doc Daneeka will not ground Yossarian for his insanity, rhetorically asking who would fight if all the crazy men got sent home.
Yossarian goes to see Dobbs and tells him to go ahead and kill Colonel Cathcart. But Dobbs has finished his sixty missions and is waiting to be sent home; he no longer has a reason to kill Colonel Cathcart. When Yossarian says that Colonel Cathcart will simply raise the number of missions again, Dobbs says that he will wait and see but that perhaps Orr would help Yossarian kill the colonel. Orr crashed his plane again while Yossarian was in the hospital and was fished out of the ocean—none of the life jackets in his plane worked because Milo took out the carbon dioxide tanks to use for making ice cream sodas. Now, Orr is tinkering with the stove that he is trying to build in his and Yossarian’s tent, and he suggests that Yossarian try flying a mission with him for practice in case he ever has to make a crash landing. Yossarian broods about the rumored second mission to Bologna. Orr is making noise and irritating him, and Yossarian imagines killing him, which Yossarian finds a relaxing thought. They talk about women—Orr says they do not like Yossarian, and Yossarian replies that they are crazy. Orr tells Yossarian that he knows Yossarian has asked not to fly with him, and he offers to tell Yossarian why a naked girl was hitting him with her shoe outside Nately’s whore’s little sister’s room in Rome. Yossarian laughingly declines. The next time Orr flies a mission, he again crashes his plane into the ocean. This time, his survival raft drifts away from the others and he disappears.
The men are dismayed when they learn that General Peckem has transferred Scheisskopf, now a colonel, to his staff. Peckem is pleased because he thinks the move will increase his strength compared to that of his rival, General Dreedle. Colonel Scheisskopf is dismayed by the news that he cannot bring his wife along and that he will no longer be able to conduct parades every afternoon. Scheisskopf immediately irritates his colleagues in Group Headquarters, and Peckem takes him along for an inspection of Colonel Cathcart’s squadron briefing. At the preliminary briefing, the men are displeased to learn that they will be bombing an undefended village into rubble; they don’t know that the only purpose of the missions is to impress General Peckem with the clean aerial photography enabled by their bomb patterns. When Peckem and Scheisskopf arrive, Cathcart becomes angry that another colonel has appeared to rival him. He gives the briefing himself, and, though he feels shaky and lacks confidence, he makes it through and congratulates himself on a job well done under pressure.
On the bombing run, Yossarian has a flashback to the mission during which Snowden died, and he panics. When McWatt starts pulling daredevil stunts, he threatens to kill McWatt if he does not follow orders. He is worried that McWatt will hold a grudge, but, after the mission, McWatt seems concerned only about Yossarian’s health. Yossarian has begun seeing Nurse Duckett, and he enjoys making love to her on the beach. Sometimes, while they sit looking at the ocean, Yossarian thinks about all the people who have died underwater, including Orr and Clevinger. One day, McWatt is buzzing the beach in his plane as a joke, when he accidentally flies too low and the propeller slices Kid Sampson in half. Kid Sampson’s body splatters all over the beach. Back at the base, everyone is occupied with the disaster; McWatt, meanwhile, does not land his plane but keeps flying higher and higher. Yossarian runs down the runway yelling at McWatt to come down, but he knows what McWatt is going to do. McWatt crashes his plane into the side of a mountain, killing himself. Colonel Cathcart is so upset that he raises the number of missions to sixty-five.
When Colonel Cathcart learns that Doc Daneeka was also killed in the crash, he raises the number of missions to seventy. Actually, Doc Daneeka was not killed in the crash, but the records—which Doc Daneeka, hating to fly, bribed Yossarian to alter—maintain that the doctor was in the plane with McWatt, collecting some flight time. Doc Daneeka is surprised to hear that he is dead, and his wife in America, who receives a letter to that effect from the military, is shattered. Heroically, she is cheered to learn that she will be receiving a number of monthly payments from various military departments for the rest of her life, as well as sizable life insurance payments from her husband’s insurance company. Husbands of her friends begin to flirt with her, and she dyes her hair.
In Pianosa, Doc Daneeka is ostracized by the men, who blame him for the increased number of missions they are required to fly. He is no longer allowed to practice medicine and realizes that, in one sense, he really is dead. He sends a passionate letter to his wife, begging her to alert the authorities that he is still alive. She considers the possibility, but after receiving a form letter from Colonel Cathcart expressing regret over her husband’s death, she moves her children to Lansing, Michigan, and leaves no forwarding address.
