Friendliness is considered to be justice
in the fullest sense.
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Summary
Friendship is clearly necessary and splendid, but people
disagree on its precise nature. Friendship consists of a mutual
feeling of goodwill between two people.
There are three kinds of friendship. The first is friendship
based on utility, where both people derive some benefit from each
other. The second is friendship based on pleasure, where
both people are drawn to the other’s wit, good looks, or other pleasant
qualities. The third is friendship based on goodness, where both
people admire the other’s goodness and help one another strive for
goodness.
The first two kinds of friendship are only accidental,
because in these cases friends are motivated by their own utility
and pleasure, not by anything essential to the nature of the friend.
Both of these kinds of friendship are short-lived because one’s
needs and pleasures are apt to change over time.
Goodness is an enduring quality, so friendships based
on goodness tend to be long lasting. This friendship encompasses
the other two, as good friends are useful to one another and please
one another. Such friendship is rare and takes time to develop,
but it is the best. Bad people can be friends for reasons of pleasure
or utility, but only good people can be friends for each other’s
sake.
On the whole, friendships consist of equal exchanges,
whether of utility, pleasantness, or goodness. However, there are
some relationships that by their nature exist between two people
of unequal standing: father-son, husband-wife, ruler-subject. In
these relationships, a different kind of love is called for from
each party, and the amount of love should be proportional to the
merit of each person. For instance, a subject should show more love
for a ruler than the the reverse. When there is too great a gap
between people, friendship is impossible, and often two friends
will grow apart if one becomes far more virtuous than the other.
Most people prefer being loved to loving, since they desire
flattery and honor. The true mark of friendship, though, is that
it consists more of loving than of being loved. Friendships endure
when each friend loves the other according to the other’s merit.
