Troilus and Cressida

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No Fear Translation

Act 1

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Original Text	Modern Text
Alarum. Excursions. Enter THERSITES.	Alarum. Excursions. Enter THERSITES.
THERSITES Now they are clapper-clawing one another. I’ll go look on. That dissembling abominable varlet, Diomed, has got that same scurvy doting foolish young knave’s sleeve of Troy there in his helm. 5 I would fain see them meet, that that same young Trojan ass that loves the whore there might send that Greekish whoremasterly villain with the sleeve back to the dissembling luxurious drab, of a sleeveless errand. O’ th’ t’other side, the policy of those 10 crafty swearing rascals—that stale old mouse-eaten dry cheese, Nestor, and that same dog-fox, Ulysses—is proved not worth a blackberry. They set me up, in policy, that mongrel cur, Ajax, against that dog of as bad a kind, Achilles. And now is the 15 cur Ajax prouder than the cur Achilles, and will not arm today, whereupon the Grecians begin to proclaim barbarism, and policy grows into an ill opinion.	THERSITES Now they are clapper-clawing one another. I’ll go look on. That dissembling abominable varlet, Diomed, has got that same scurvy doting foolish young knave’s sleeve of Troy there in his helm. I would fain see them meet, that that same young Trojan ass that loves the whore there might send that Greekish whoremasterly villain with the sleeve back to the dissembling luxurious drab, of a sleeveless errand. O’ th’ t’other side, the policy of those crafty swearing rascals—that stale old mouse-eaten dry cheese, Nestor, and that same dog-fox, Ulysses—is proved not worth a blackberry. They set me up, in policy, that mongrel cur, Ajax, against that dog of as bad a kind, Achilles. And now is the cur Ajax prouder than the cur Achilles, and will not arm today, whereupon the Grecians begin to proclaim barbarism, and policy grows into an ill opinion.
Enter DIOMEDES, and TROILUS pursuing him.	Enter DIOMEDES, and TROILUS pursuing him.
Soft! Here comes sleeve and t’ other.	Soft! Here comes sleeve and t’ other.
THERSITES moves aside.	THERSITES moves aside.
TROILUS , to DIOMEDES 20 Fly not, for shouldst thou take the river Styx I would swim after.	TROILUS , to DIOMEDES Fly not, for shouldst thou take the river Styx I would swim after.
DIOMEDES Thou dost miscall retire. I do not fly, but advantageous care Withdrew me from the odds of multitude. 25 Have at thee!	DIOMEDES Thou dost miscall retire. I do not fly, but advantageous care Withdrew me from the odds of multitude. Have at thee!
They fight.	They fight.
THERSITES Hold thy whore, Grecian! Now for thy whore, Trojan! Now the sleeve, now the sleeve!	THERSITES Hold thy whore, Grecian! Now for thy whore, Trojan! Now the sleeve, now the sleeve!
DIOMEDES and TROILUS exit fighting. Enter HECTOR.	DIOMEDES and TROILUS exit fighting. Enter HECTOR.
HECTOR What art thou, Greek? Art thou for Hector’s match? Art thou of blood and honor?	HECTOR What art thou, Greek? Art thou for Hector’s match? Art thou of blood and honor?
THERSITES 30 No, no, I am a rascal, a scurvy railing knave, a very filthy rogue.	THERSITES No, no, I am a rascal, a scurvy railing knave, a very filthy rogue.
HECTOR I do believe thee. Live.	HECTOR I do believe thee. Live.
He exits.	He exits.
THERSITES God-a-mercy, that thou wilt believe me! But a plague break thy neck for frighting me! 35 What’s become of the wenching rogues? I think they have swallowed one another. I would laugh at that miracle—yet, in a sort, lechery eats itself. I’ll seek them.	THERSITES God-a-mercy, that thou wilt believe me! But a plague break thy neck for frighting me! What’s become of the wenching rogues? I think they have swallowed one another. I would laugh at that miracle—yet, in a sort, lechery eats itself. I’ll seek them.
He exits.	He exits.

Original Text	Modern Text
Alarum. Excursions. Enter THERSITES.	Alarum. Excursions. Enter THERSITES.
THERSITES Now they are clapper-clawing one another. I’ll go look on. That dissembling abominable varlet, Diomed, has got that same scurvy doting foolish young knave’s sleeve of Troy there in his helm. 5 I would fain see them meet, that that same young Trojan ass that loves the whore there might send that Greekish whoremasterly villain with the sleeve back to the dissembling luxurious drab, of a sleeveless errand. O’ th’ t’other side, the policy of those 10 crafty swearing rascals—that stale old mouse-eaten dry cheese, Nestor, and that same dog-fox, Ulysses—is proved not worth a blackberry. They set me up, in policy, that mongrel cur, Ajax, against that dog of as bad a kind, Achilles. And now is the 15 cur Ajax prouder than the cur Achilles, and will not arm today, whereupon the Grecians begin to proclaim barbarism, and policy grows into an ill opinion.	THERSITES Now they are clapper-clawing one another. I’ll go look on. That dissembling abominable varlet, Diomed, has got that same scurvy doting foolish young knave’s sleeve of Troy there in his helm. I would fain see them meet, that that same young Trojan ass that loves the whore there might send that Greekish whoremasterly villain with the sleeve back to the dissembling luxurious drab, of a sleeveless errand. O’ th’ t’other side, the policy of those crafty swearing rascals—that stale old mouse-eaten dry cheese, Nestor, and that same dog-fox, Ulysses—is proved not worth a blackberry. They set me up, in policy, that mongrel cur, Ajax, against that dog of as bad a kind, Achilles. And now is the cur Ajax prouder than the cur Achilles, and will not arm today, whereupon the Grecians begin to proclaim barbarism, and policy grows into an ill opinion.
Enter DIOMEDES, and TROILUS pursuing him.	Enter DIOMEDES, and TROILUS pursuing him.
Soft! Here comes sleeve and t’ other.	Soft! Here comes sleeve and t’ other.
THERSITES moves aside.	THERSITES moves aside.
TROILUS , to DIOMEDES 20 Fly not, for shouldst thou take the river Styx I would swim after.	TROILUS , to DIOMEDES Fly not, for shouldst thou take the river Styx I would swim after.
DIOMEDES Thou dost miscall retire. I do not fly, but advantageous care Withdrew me from the odds of multitude. 25 Have at thee!	DIOMEDES Thou dost miscall retire. I do not fly, but advantageous care Withdrew me from the odds of multitude. Have at thee!
They fight.	They fight.
THERSITES Hold thy whore, Grecian! Now for thy whore, Trojan! Now the sleeve, now the sleeve!	THERSITES Hold thy whore, Grecian! Now for thy whore, Trojan! Now the sleeve, now the sleeve!
DIOMEDES and TROILUS exit fighting. Enter HECTOR.	DIOMEDES and TROILUS exit fighting. Enter HECTOR.
HECTOR What art thou, Greek? Art thou for Hector’s match? Art thou of blood and honor?	HECTOR What art thou, Greek? Art thou for Hector’s match? Art thou of blood and honor?
THERSITES 30 No, no, I am a rascal, a scurvy railing knave, a very filthy rogue.	THERSITES No, no, I am a rascal, a scurvy railing knave, a very filthy rogue.
HECTOR I do believe thee. Live.	HECTOR I do believe thee. Live.
He exits.	He exits.
THERSITES God-a-mercy, that thou wilt believe me! But a plague break thy neck for frighting me! 35 What’s become of the wenching rogues? I think they have swallowed one another. I would laugh at that miracle—yet, in a sort, lechery eats itself. I’ll seek them.	THERSITES God-a-mercy, that thou wilt believe me! But a plague break thy neck for frighting me! What’s become of the wenching rogues? I think they have swallowed one another. I would laugh at that miracle—yet, in a sort, lechery eats itself. I’ll seek them.
He exits.	He exits.

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