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Enter THERSITES; then MENELAUS fighting PARIS.
Enter THERSITES; then MENELAUS fighting PARIS.
THERSITES  
The cuckold and the cuckold-maker are at
it. Now, bull! Now, dog! Loo, Paris, loo! Now, my
double-horned Spartan! Loo, Paris, loo! The bull
has the game. Ware horns, ho!
THERSITES  
The cuckold and the cuckold-maker are at
it. Now, bull! Now, dog! Loo, Paris, loo! Now, my
double-horned Spartan! Loo, Paris, loo! The bull
has the game. Ware horns, ho!
PARIS and MENELAUS exit, fighting.
Enter BASTARD.
PARIS and MENELAUS exit, fighting.
Enter BASTARD.
BASTARD  
5
Turn, slave, and fight.
BASTARD  
Turn, slave, and fight.
THERSITES  
What art thou?
THERSITES  
What art thou?
BASTARD  
A bastard son of Priam’s.
BASTARD  
A bastard son of Priam’s.
THERSITES  
I am a bastard too. I love bastards. I am
bastard begot, bastard instructed, bastard in mind,
10
bastard in valor, in everything illegitimate. One
bear will not bite another, and wherefore should
one bastard? Take heed: the quarrel’s most ominous
to us. If the son of a whore fight for a whore,
he tempts judgment. Farewell, bastard.
THERSITES  
I am a bastard too. I love bastards. I am
bastard begot, bastard instructed, bastard in mind,
bastard in valor, in everything illegitimate. One
bear will not bite another, and wherefore should
one bastard? Take heed: the quarrel’s most ominous
to us. If the son of a whore fight for a whore,
he tempts judgment. Farewell, bastard.
He exits.
He exits.
BASTARD  
15
The devil take thee, coward!
BASTARD  
The devil take thee, coward!
He exits.
He exits.

Original Text

Modern Text

Enter THERSITES; then MENELAUS fighting PARIS.
Enter THERSITES; then MENELAUS fighting PARIS.
THERSITES  
The cuckold and the cuckold-maker are at
it. Now, bull! Now, dog! Loo, Paris, loo! Now, my
double-horned Spartan! Loo, Paris, loo! The bull
has the game. Ware horns, ho!
THERSITES  
The cuckold and the cuckold-maker are at
it. Now, bull! Now, dog! Loo, Paris, loo! Now, my
double-horned Spartan! Loo, Paris, loo! The bull
has the game. Ware horns, ho!
PARIS and MENELAUS exit, fighting.
Enter BASTARD.
PARIS and MENELAUS exit, fighting.
Enter BASTARD.
BASTARD  
5
Turn, slave, and fight.
BASTARD  
Turn, slave, and fight.
THERSITES  
What art thou?
THERSITES  
What art thou?
BASTARD  
A bastard son of Priam’s.
BASTARD  
A bastard son of Priam’s.
THERSITES  
I am a bastard too. I love bastards. I am
bastard begot, bastard instructed, bastard in mind,
10
bastard in valor, in everything illegitimate. One
bear will not bite another, and wherefore should
one bastard? Take heed: the quarrel’s most ominous
to us. If the son of a whore fight for a whore,
he tempts judgment. Farewell, bastard.
THERSITES  
I am a bastard too. I love bastards. I am
bastard begot, bastard instructed, bastard in mind,
bastard in valor, in everything illegitimate. One
bear will not bite another, and wherefore should
one bastard? Take heed: the quarrel’s most ominous
to us. If the son of a whore fight for a whore,
he tempts judgment. Farewell, bastard.
He exits.
He exits.
BASTARD  
15
The devil take thee, coward!
BASTARD  
The devil take thee, coward!
He exits.
He exits.

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