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A priest could have saved Lupito. Oh why did my mother dream for me to be a priest! How would I ever wash away the stain of blood from the sweet waters of my river!
Antonio has these thoughts in Chapter 2, after witnessing the death of Lupito. Antonio is horrified by Lupito’s death and burdened by how unnecessary and unjust it feels. He is also troubled by his belief that someday it will be his responsibility to stop similar tragedies from happening. Even at only seven years old, Antonio feels great moral responsibility for others. While his unquestioning acceptance of his mother’s dream for him changes throughout the novel, his desire to help others and uphold what is right only grows.
“But I want to know, there are so many things I want to know,” I insisted.
Antonio says this quote to Ultima in Chapter 3, as the family walks to church together. Along the way, he asks her many questions about the turmoil of the previous night and Ultima’s role in getting him to finally fall asleep. Antonio’s enthusiastic questions demonstrate his curiosity and eagerness to understand the world, even as so much of the adult world frightens him. His inquisitive nature makes him a deep thinker, and he will continue to question the world around him as he matures throughout the novel.
I wondered if I would grow up too fast, I yearned for knowledge and understanding and yet I wondered if it would make me lose my dreams. Andrew said it was up to me, and I wanted to be a good son, but the dreams of my mother were opposite the wishes of my father.
This quotation comes from Chapter 9 during a conversation between Antonio and Andrew as they walk to school. Antonio has these thoughts in response to Andrew’s comment that the war caused him, Eugene, and León to grow up too fast. Looking at his brothers’ complete rejection of their parents’ hopes for them makes Antonio afraid to grow up. To further complicate his fears of growing up, he also doesn’t know how to choose what kind of man he wants to be without disappointing either his father or his mother. This struggle is Antonio’s primary internal conflict throughout the novel.
After Easter I went to confession every Saturday and on Sunday morning I took communion, but I was not satisfied. The God I so eagerly sought was not there, and the understanding I thought to gain was not there.
This quotation comes from the beginning of Chapter 20, as Antonio realizes that taking communion will not answer the questions he has about God and Catholicism. In the lead up to his first communion, Antonio hopes that the ritual will provide clarity on the murky nature of sin, forgiveness, and justice, but that understanding doesn’t come. The lack of clear answers from God means that Antonio must continue to search his heart to find what he thinks is right, regardless of what others, including the church, say.
“Then maybe I do not have to be just Márez, or Luna, perhaps I can be both—” I said.
Antonio says these words to his father, Gabriel, in the final chapter as they drive to El Puerto. During their bonding conversation, Antonio finally realizes that he can find a way to honor both sides of his heritage, keeping the pieces that resonate with him and feel true to his identity. This moment marks a newfound maturity in Antonio. Instead of worrying about approval from others, he has found a way to be true to himself.
