Summary: Chapter 1
Ellen, now ten years old, reminisces about how when she
was little, she would think of various ways to kill her father.
Her favorite idea had been of loosing a poisonous spider in his
bed and having "two colored boys" lift his body onto a stretcher.
But ultimately, Ellen doesn't have to kill her father, as he drinks
himself to death a year after the county has removed Ellen from
his care, and she affirms that she is better off now that he is
dead.
Throughout her internal monologue, which carries through
the entirety of the novel, Ellen meshes memories of her miserable
past with scenes from her enriched present. In her new home, Ellen
is well cared for, with enough food to eat and clean clothes to
wear.
Each Tuesday, Ellen sees a school psychologist. When he
tells her that she is scared, Ellen refutes his diagnosis, admitting
that she once had been scared but is no longer. She remembers the
time when she had been frightened, living with her alcoholic father
and sickly mother, who, because of her illness, had spent much of
her time in the hospital, as she had been weakened by "romantic
[rheumatic] fever" as a child. When Ellen's mother does come home
from the hospital after having surgery, Ellen's father demands that
her mother make him dinner, declaring that he's tired of making
it for himself. Ellen scoffs at this, knowing that she's been the
one to make all of the meals while her mother has been gone. Ellen
is clearly angry with her father, especially for making her mother
work when she is weak. All she can do is help her mother in the
kitchen and take revenge by spitting on her father's fork.
Ellen's mother cooks dinner despite her ailments, not
once complaining that she is too tired or ill. During dinner, her
father jokes that that this may be her last supper, and Ellen tries
to understand why he is so cruel to her mother. Afterwards, Ellen
helps her mother undress and lies in bed beside her.
Later that same night, Ellen's father goes out to buy
alcohol. When he returns, he orders Ellen to turn on the television
for him and wakes her mother with his shouting. Eventually, he has
drunk so much that he is passed out on the bathroom floor. As she
does every Saturday, Ellen must shove him awake with her foot, for
she refuses to touch him with her hands. She orders him to get out,
and he staggers out the door to sleep in his truck. Ellen's mother
has witnessed this episode and begins to cry. Ellen comforts her,
saying that what she's seen is "no reason to cry." She crawls back
into bed with her mother and vows to stay with her until she is
breathing regularly. As she lies with her mother, Ellen notes that
there is a terrible storm coming and wishes that the lightning would
strike her father, though she knows she does not control the weather
or "the way the Lord" rules.
In contrast, Ellen's new mama serves delicious food in
an orderly manner and never yells at the children. Now, at her new
house, Ellen leisurely snacks on candy and thinks about how she
will decorate her new, beautiful room. Her new mama has sewed her
matching curtains and pillow shams for her bed.
