Summary
Ellen "counts up" the numerous things she likes the most
about her new home, the first being that she does not plan to leave
until she is old, and, if someone ever tries to make her leave,
she vows to chain herself to the bed. Second, she is glad that she
does not owe anyone money and that she always has good food to eat
and never has to feel guilty for eating or scrounge for food. Lastly,
Ellen likes that her new mama tells her good morning "like she means
it."
Ellen readies herself for school on Monday morning and,
after a hearty breakfast, prepares to leave with her new sisters.
Roger cries and reaches for Stella as they go out the door. Ellen
explains that Stella is Roger's mother and that Stella, who is in
seventh grade, is the youngest mother she has ever known. On the
bus ride to school, Stella sits in the very back and flirts with
the boys, and Ellen is certain that she lets the boys feel up her
shirt, though she dares not turn around to look.
During music class, Ellen moves her lips but does not
sing. She thinks of Starletta and how they have drifted apart. Starletta
is visibly older, having removed the plaits from her hair and having
grown rather tall. Ellen feels the urge to press her hands to her
and stop her from "growing into a time [when] she will not want
to play." Starletta has developed a crush on a white boy named Tom,
though Ellen knows she will never be able to have him, just because
Starletta is black. Starletta knows that, financially, Tom can provide
her with more than a black boy can. Starletta and Ellen both keep
lists of things to tell one another, though Ellen fears that soon
Starletta will lose interest and forget about her. Thus, she wants
to find something that will make Starletta remember her forever.
On her way home from school that day, Ellen wonders if
her new mama will let Starletta stay over their house for the weekend.
She has an innate feeling that her answer will be yes and knows
that she is brave for daring to do something that has never been
done before. She remembers when, two years ago, she would not eat
a "colored biscuit" even when she was starving and wonders if she
is the same girl. Now, she sometimes thinks that, deep down, she
is really a colored person and is ashamed when she remembers how,
in the list she made of what she wanted for her family, she had
written "white."
Presently, all Ellen wants is for Starletta to stay at
her house and to know that she loves her. To prove her love, Ellen
says that she will even lick Starletta's cup, ashamed to remember
the day she would not even eat a meal with Starletta and her family.
Each Tuesday, Ellen must see the school psychologist.
She dreads going to see him and understands that the more problems
she has, the more money he is paid to deconstruct them. Thus, she
tells him very little about herself. The psychologist first tells
Ellen that she is unsociable and later diagnoses her with an identity
problem, as she uses a last name, "Foster," that is not really her
own. Ellen explains that she has changed her last name because she
wanted a new beginning to match her new family, a foster family.
However, Ellen does not understand that her new mother is, as adults
know her, a foster mother. The psychologist explains the meaning
of a foster family, and, for a moment, Ellen feels foolish. She
quickly recovers and asks if she may continue using "Foster" as
her last name. The psychologist continues to probe Ellen about her
identity, and she tells him off. This is her last visit to the psychologist.
