Determination Despite Adversity
Ellen must continually overcome terrible hardship—sexual
abuse, alcoholism, neglect, poverty, cruelty. Throughout it all,
however, she is determined to endure and knows that she deserves
better than the horrific circumstances under which she is suffering.
This determination strengthens Ellen’s will to endure and undoubtedly
pulls her through her grief and misery, as she knows only she alone
can help herself; though others may have tried, no one has succeeded. Ellen
eventually realizes that it has not been she, but Starletta, who has
had the “hardest row to hoe,” as she is a black girl who is growing
up in a highly racist community. Ellen gradually becomes conscious
of this, especially when she recognizes that Starletta will not be
able to date the white boy on whom she has a crush, solely because
of her skin color.
The Intensity of Self-Consciousness and Self-Criticism
As Ellen ages, she grows acutely self-conscious and self-critical.
Her self-awareness is especially evident when she must endure her grandmother’s
accusations that she is a replication of her father. Ellen is so
shaken by this comparison that she must sometimes check in the mirror
to assure herself that she is not slowly becoming someone she cannot
recognize, especially her father, whom she reasonably hates more
than anyone else in the world. Mavis, however, tells Ellen that
she resembles her mother, which makes Ellen very curious about her
mother’s past. At one point, Ellen criticizes herself for having
a misshapen head and a disproportionate body, which she hopes will
be remedied when she develops hips and breasts. After she has finally
found her new mama, Ellen examines herself in the mirror one day
after her bath and wonders if she is the same girl she was two years
ago, which she undoubtedly is not.
Transcending Ignorance Through Social Awareness
When the novel begins, Ellen believes in the ridiculous
racist biases that have been taught to her by her community and
her family. Although she is best friends with Starletta, who is
black, she will not eat a meal with her family or stay at her house
overnight for fear that Starletta’s skin color is somehow contagious.
Ellen pities Starletta for being black and feels lucky that she
herself is white. However, as time goes on, Ellen’s awareness is
heightened, as she learns from Starletta and Mavis that it is not
skin color that is important but, rather, one’s content and character.
By the final chapters of the novel, Ellen is deeply ashamed for
ever harboring racist prejudices and invites Starletta to stay over
her house. She says that now, she will even lick Starletta’s cup
if that is what it takes to prove her love for her.
