A pity that Max was gone. And a pity about his father, who had his own war and who now preferred silence.
Much of Norman Bowker’s suffering after the war revolves around his inability to find anyone to talk to about Vietnam. A close friend from childhood who he thinks would have been able to handle his stories drowned years earlier, and his father, likely a WWII veteran, is traumatized by his own war experiences and is unwilling to vocalize his thoughts. Thus, Norman feels not only isolated and lonely, but also as if the world has moved on without him and expects him to simply catch up. The world doesn’t want to be burdened by his stories – it wants him to forget and move on.
I mean, who in his right mind wants a parade? Or getting his back clapped by a bunch of patriotic idiots who don’t know jack about what it feels like to kill people or get shot at or sleep in the rain or watch your buddy go down underneath the mud?
Norman Bowker does not feel supported or understood by what he feels are performative displays of patriotism and gratitude for Vietnam veterans. He’s disgusted by the zealous, romanticized perception of war that many Americans have, which often leads them to glorify the violence and atrocities that occurred. While Norman desperately wants to talk to someone about the war, in a way that truly helps them understand his experience, he knows that these fervent patriots are just as unable to comprehend the reality of Vietnam as the indifferent people in his hometown.
“Norman was a quiet boy,” his mother wrote, “and I don’t suppose he wanted to bother anybody.”
Norman Bowker’s mother’s letter to Tim O’Brien, written after Norman’s suicide, gets at the heart of Norman’s predicament. His silence after the war is ultimately what killed him. Like many veterans, Norman carries trauma that needs to be verbalized and worked through to help him come to terms with his experience. But the American people are apathetic, or disinterested in having to contend with truthful, disturbing war stories. Norman’s dilemma is reminiscent of the experiences of many Vietnam veterans, who returned home to an indifferent or even hostile populace and were not given the care they needed.