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A mere matter of falling, yet no one ever fell. It was not courage, exactly; the object was not valor. Rather, they were too frightened to be cowards.
Tim O’Brien explains that there is technically an easy way to remove yourself from combat in Vietnam – purposefully injuring yourself in order to be sent to a neutral country for medical care. Many men secretly imagine how easy it would be to do so, to save themselves from possible death by simply shooting themselves in the foot, but no one ever does it because the fear of shame has more power over their behavior than the fear of death. Tim makes it clear that most men in Vietnam don’t make it through battles without hiding or running away because they’re brave and valorous. They make it through because they are too cowardly to face the disappointment of their fellow soldiers should they fail.
Even in my imagination, the shore just twenty yards away, I couldn’t make myself be brave. It had nothing to do with morality. Embarrassment, that’s all it was.
At one point, Tim O’Brien has the chance to dodge the draft and escape to Canada. He’s close to deciding on Canada, but as he contemplates it, he imagines the American shore is full of his family, friends, peers, and even politicians and celebrities, all watching him as he deliberates. He realizes that if he dodges the draft, he’ll face the disgust and scrutiny of everyone in his life as well as public figures, and that he’ll always be seen as a coward. He can’t escape to Canada, not because he feels he has a moral prerogative to fight for his country, but because he’s not brave enough to endure the humiliation of refusing the draft.
