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Enter DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY .
Enter DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY .
DOCTOR CAIUS
Jack Rugby.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Jack Rugby.
RUGBY
Sir?
RUGBY
Sir?
DOCTOR CAIUS
Vat is the clock, Jack?
DOCTOR CAIUS
Vat is the clock, Jack?
RUGBY
’Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised
5
to meet.
RUGBY
’Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised
5
to meet.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, he has save his soul dat he is no
come. He has pray his Pible well dat he is no come.
By gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already if he be
come.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, he has save his soul dat he is no
come. He has pray his Pible well dat he is no come.
By gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already if he be
come.
RUGBY
10
He is wise, sir. He knew your Worship would
kill him if he came.
RUGBY
10
He is wise, sir. He knew your Worship would
kill him if he came.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill
kill him. Take your rapier, Jack. I vill tell you how I
vill kill him.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill
kill him. Take your rapier, Jack. I vill tell you how I
vill kill him.
RUGBY
15
Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
RUGBY
15
Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Villainy, take your rapier.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Villainy, take your rapier.
RUGBY
Forbear. Here’s company.
RUGBY
Forbear. Here’s company.
Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and HOST.
Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and HOST.
HOST
God bless thee, bully doctor!
HOST
God bless thee, bully doctor!
SHALLOW
God save you, Master Doctor Caius!
SHALLOW
God save you, Master Doctor Caius!
PAGE
20
Now, good Master Doctor!
PAGE
20
Now, good Master Doctor!
SLENDER  
Give you good morrow, sir.
SLENDER  
Give you good morrow, sir.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come
for?
DOCTOR CAIUS
Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come
for?
HOST
To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse;
25
to see thee here, to see thee there; to see
thy pass, thy puncto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy
distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian?
Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha, bully? What says
my Aesculapius, my Galien, my heart of elder, ha?
30
Is he dead, bully stale? Is he dead?
HOST
To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse;
25
to see thee here, to see thee there; to see
thy pass, thy puncto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy
distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian?
Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha, bully? What says
my Aesculapius, my Galien, my heart of elder, ha?
30
Is he dead, bully stale? Is he dead?
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, he is de coward jack-priest of de
vorld. He is not show his face.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, he is de coward jack-priest of de
vorld. He is not show his face.
HOST
Thou art a Castalion King Urinal Hector of
Greece, my boy!
HOST
Thou art a Castalion King Urinal Hector of
Greece, my boy!
DOCTOR CAIUS
35
I pray you, bear witness that me have
stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is
no come.
DOCTOR CAIUS
35
I pray you, bear witness that me have
stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is
no come.
SHALLOW
He is the wiser man, Master Doctor. He is a
curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies. If you
40
should fight, you go against the hair of your professions.—
Is it not true, Master Page?
SHALLOW
He is the wiser man, Master Doctor. He is a
curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies. If you
40
should fight, you go against the hair of your professions.—
Is it not true, Master Page?
PAGE
Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great
fighter, though now a man of peace.
PAGE
Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great
fighter, though now a man of peace.
SHALLOW
Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old
45
and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger
itches to make one. Though we are justices and
doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we have
some salt of our youth in us. We are the sons of
women, Master Page.
SHALLOW
Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old
45
and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger
itches to make one. Though we are justices and
doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we have
some salt of our youth in us. We are the sons of
women, Master Page.
PAGE
50
’Tis true, Master Shallow.
PAGE
50
’Tis true, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW
It will be found so, Master Page.—Master
Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am
sworn of the peace. You have showed yourself a
wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself
55
a wise and patient churchman. You must go with
me, Master Doctor.
SHALLOW
It will be found so, Master Page.—Master
Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am
sworn of the peace. You have showed yourself a
wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself
55
a wise and patient churchman. You must go with
me, Master Doctor.
HOST
Pardon, guest Justice. (To CAIUS.) A word,
Monsieur Mockwater.
HOST
Pardon, guest Justice. (To CAIUS.) A word,
Monsieur Mockwater.
DOCTOR CAIUS
“Mockvater”? Vat is dat?
DOCTOR CAIUS
“Mockvater”? Vat is dat?
HOST
60
“Mockwater,” in our English tongue, is “valor,”
bully.
HOST
60
“Mockwater,” in our English tongue, is “valor,”
bully.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, then I have as much mockvater
as de Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! By gar,
me vill cut his ears.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, then I have as much mockvater
as de Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! By gar,
me vill cut his ears.
HOST
65
He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
HOST
65
He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
DOCTOR CAIUS
“Clapper-de-claw”? Vat is dat?
DOCTOR CAIUS
“Clapper-de-claw”? Vat is dat?
HOST
That is, he will make thee amends.
HOST
That is, he will make thee amends.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw
me, for, by gar, me vill have it.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw
me, for, by gar, me vill have it.
HOST
70
And I will provoke him to ’t, or let him wag.
HOST
70
And I will provoke him to ’t, or let him wag.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Me tank you for dat.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Me tank you for dat.
HOST
And moreover, bully— (He draws SHALLOW, PAGE,
and SLENDER aside.) But first, Master guest, and
Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you
75
through the town to Frogmore.
HOST
And moreover, bully— (He draws SHALLOW, PAGE,
and SLENDER aside.) But first, Master guest, and
Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you
75
through the town to Frogmore.
PAGE
Sir Hugh is there, is he?
PAGE
Sir Hugh is there, is he?
HOST
He is there. See what humor he is in; and I will
bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do
well?
HOST
He is there. See what humor he is in; and I will
bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do
well?
SHALLOW
80
We will do it.
SHALLOW
80
We will do it.
PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER
Adieu, good Master
Doctor. PAGE, SHALLOW , and SLENDER exit.
PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER
Adieu, good Master
Doctor. PAGE, SHALLOW , and SLENDER exit.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, me vill kill de priest, for he speak
for a jackanape to Anne Page.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, me vill kill de priest, for he speak
for a jackanape to Anne Page.
HOST
85
Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold
water on thy choler. Go about the fields with me
through Frogmore. I will bring thee where Mistress
Anne Page is, at a farmhouse a-feasting, and
thou shalt woo her. Cried game! Said I well?
HOST
85
Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold
water on thy choler. Go about the fields with me
through Frogmore. I will bring thee where Mistress
Anne Page is, at a farmhouse a-feasting, and
thou shalt woo her. Cried game! Said I well?
DOCTOR CAIUS
90
By gar, me dank you vor dat. By gar, I
love you, and I shall procure-a you de good guest:
de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my
patients.
DOCTOR CAIUS
90
By gar, me dank you vor dat. By gar, I
love you, and I shall procure-a you de good guest:
de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my
patients.
HOST
For the which I will be thy adversary toward
95
Anne Page. Said I well?
HOST
For the which I will be thy adversary toward
95
Anne Page. Said I well?
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, ’tis good. Vell said.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, ’tis good. Vell said.
HOST
Let us wag, then.
HOST
Let us wag, then.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
They exit.
They exit.

Original Text

Modern Text
Enter DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY .
Enter DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY .
DOCTOR CAIUS
Jack Rugby.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Jack Rugby.
RUGBY
Sir?
RUGBY
Sir?
DOCTOR CAIUS
Vat is the clock, Jack?
DOCTOR CAIUS
Vat is the clock, Jack?
RUGBY
’Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised
5
to meet.
RUGBY
’Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised
5
to meet.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, he has save his soul dat he is no
come. He has pray his Pible well dat he is no come.
By gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already if he be
come.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, he has save his soul dat he is no
come. He has pray his Pible well dat he is no come.
By gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already if he be
come.
RUGBY
10
He is wise, sir. He knew your Worship would
kill him if he came.
RUGBY
10
He is wise, sir. He knew your Worship would
kill him if he came.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill
kill him. Take your rapier, Jack. I vill tell you how I
vill kill him.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill
kill him. Take your rapier, Jack. I vill tell you how I
vill kill him.
RUGBY
15
Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
RUGBY
15
Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Villainy, take your rapier.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Villainy, take your rapier.
RUGBY
Forbear. Here’s company.
RUGBY
Forbear. Here’s company.
Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and HOST.
Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and HOST.
HOST
God bless thee, bully doctor!
HOST
God bless thee, bully doctor!
SHALLOW
God save you, Master Doctor Caius!
SHALLOW
God save you, Master Doctor Caius!
PAGE
20
Now, good Master Doctor!
PAGE
20
Now, good Master Doctor!
SLENDER  
Give you good morrow, sir.
SLENDER  
Give you good morrow, sir.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come
for?
DOCTOR CAIUS
Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come
for?
HOST
To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse;
25
to see thee here, to see thee there; to see
thy pass, thy puncto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy
distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian?
Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha, bully? What says
my Aesculapius, my Galien, my heart of elder, ha?
30
Is he dead, bully stale? Is he dead?
HOST
To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse;
25
to see thee here, to see thee there; to see
thy pass, thy puncto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy
distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian?
Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha, bully? What says
my Aesculapius, my Galien, my heart of elder, ha?
30
Is he dead, bully stale? Is he dead?
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, he is de coward jack-priest of de
vorld. He is not show his face.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, he is de coward jack-priest of de
vorld. He is not show his face.
HOST
Thou art a Castalion King Urinal Hector of
Greece, my boy!
HOST
Thou art a Castalion King Urinal Hector of
Greece, my boy!
DOCTOR CAIUS
35
I pray you, bear witness that me have
stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is
no come.
DOCTOR CAIUS
35
I pray you, bear witness that me have
stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is
no come.
SHALLOW
He is the wiser man, Master Doctor. He is a
curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies. If you
40
should fight, you go against the hair of your professions.—
Is it not true, Master Page?
SHALLOW
He is the wiser man, Master Doctor. He is a
curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies. If you
40
should fight, you go against the hair of your professions.—
Is it not true, Master Page?
PAGE
Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great
fighter, though now a man of peace.
PAGE
Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great
fighter, though now a man of peace.
SHALLOW
Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old
45
and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger
itches to make one. Though we are justices and
doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we have
some salt of our youth in us. We are the sons of
women, Master Page.
SHALLOW
Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old
45
and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger
itches to make one. Though we are justices and
doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we have
some salt of our youth in us. We are the sons of
women, Master Page.
PAGE
50
’Tis true, Master Shallow.
PAGE
50
’Tis true, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW
It will be found so, Master Page.—Master
Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am
sworn of the peace. You have showed yourself a
wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself
55
a wise and patient churchman. You must go with
me, Master Doctor.
SHALLOW
It will be found so, Master Page.—Master
Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am
sworn of the peace. You have showed yourself a
wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself
55
a wise and patient churchman. You must go with
me, Master Doctor.
HOST
Pardon, guest Justice. (To CAIUS.) A word,
Monsieur Mockwater.
HOST
Pardon, guest Justice. (To CAIUS.) A word,
Monsieur Mockwater.
DOCTOR CAIUS
“Mockvater”? Vat is dat?
DOCTOR CAIUS
“Mockvater”? Vat is dat?
HOST
60
“Mockwater,” in our English tongue, is “valor,”
bully.
HOST
60
“Mockwater,” in our English tongue, is “valor,”
bully.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, then I have as much mockvater
as de Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! By gar,
me vill cut his ears.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, then I have as much mockvater
as de Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! By gar,
me vill cut his ears.
HOST
65
He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
HOST
65
He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
DOCTOR CAIUS
“Clapper-de-claw”? Vat is dat?
DOCTOR CAIUS
“Clapper-de-claw”? Vat is dat?
HOST
That is, he will make thee amends.
HOST
That is, he will make thee amends.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw
me, for, by gar, me vill have it.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw
me, for, by gar, me vill have it.
HOST
70
And I will provoke him to ’t, or let him wag.
HOST
70
And I will provoke him to ’t, or let him wag.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Me tank you for dat.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Me tank you for dat.
HOST
And moreover, bully— (He draws SHALLOW, PAGE,
and SLENDER aside.) But first, Master guest, and
Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you
75
through the town to Frogmore.
HOST
And moreover, bully— (He draws SHALLOW, PAGE,
and SLENDER aside.) But first, Master guest, and
Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you
75
through the town to Frogmore.
PAGE
Sir Hugh is there, is he?
PAGE
Sir Hugh is there, is he?
HOST
He is there. See what humor he is in; and I will
bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do
well?
HOST
He is there. See what humor he is in; and I will
bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do
well?
SHALLOW
80
We will do it.
SHALLOW
80
We will do it.
PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER
Adieu, good Master
Doctor. PAGE, SHALLOW , and SLENDER exit.
PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER
Adieu, good Master
Doctor. PAGE, SHALLOW , and SLENDER exit.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, me vill kill de priest, for he speak
for a jackanape to Anne Page.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, me vill kill de priest, for he speak
for a jackanape to Anne Page.
HOST
85
Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold
water on thy choler. Go about the fields with me
through Frogmore. I will bring thee where Mistress
Anne Page is, at a farmhouse a-feasting, and
thou shalt woo her. Cried game! Said I well?
HOST
85
Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold
water on thy choler. Go about the fields with me
through Frogmore. I will bring thee where Mistress
Anne Page is, at a farmhouse a-feasting, and
thou shalt woo her. Cried game! Said I well?
DOCTOR CAIUS
90
By gar, me dank you vor dat. By gar, I
love you, and I shall procure-a you de good guest:
de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my
patients.
DOCTOR CAIUS
90
By gar, me dank you vor dat. By gar, I
love you, and I shall procure-a you de good guest:
de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my
patients.
HOST
For the which I will be thy adversary toward
95
Anne Page. Said I well?
HOST
For the which I will be thy adversary toward
95
Anne Page. Said I well?
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, ’tis good. Vell said.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, ’tis good. Vell said.
HOST
Let us wag, then.
HOST
Let us wag, then.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
They exit.
They exit.
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